Andrea Gunning

It always takes months of building rapport to get to that point.

By the time we got to Maryland, Saskia was ready to share her story.

But we questioned if she was ready to really put herself out there with this show.

So I asked her about that.

Part of her thought about ending the whole project right there.

Instead, she made a choice.

The choice to keep going.

For years, Saskia has received support from a psychiatrist and other mental health providers.

But in choosing to do this podcast, we wanted to ensure she had extra support.

If you've been listening to our show for a while, you might recognize Jess from season two, where she worked with our subject, Ashley Linton.

Often, Jess and Saskia talked about emotions that came up throughout the production process.

It took strength to report the crime and get through those early days.

But in many ways, that strength was a reflex.

She saw no other path than to fight.

This choice, to revisit what happened to her, to trust other people with her story, has demanded a different kind of strength.

Jess and Saskia agreed to record a few of their sessions.

Saskia listened back to these recordings, and now she wants other people to hear them too, in the hopes that her breakthroughs might help somebody else.

In slowing down, Saskia's not only facing these emotions coming up through the podcast or sitting with her trauma from Mike.

She's going back further to her childhood to understand why she gravitated towards someone like Mike and to try to break that pattern going forward.

Remember, Saskia grew up as the youngest of four.