Andrea Hollingsworth

every single day, seven days a week, I'm up looking at my Latin flashcards. Mm-hmm. I burned out. I burned out at the age of 36. I walked away from my dream job at BU. And I sometimes wonder, you know, if I would have learned to give myself a little bit of grace. I mean, I'm all for high standards. Healthy striving is one thing.

But it's this maladaptive perfectionism, that's what researchers call it, that really, it ruined me. It also, you know, it really impacted the way that I showed up for my students. for my colleagues, for my research assistants. I was just, I had this inner criticality and like constant anxiety and stress about performance and it was impacting everybody.

But it's this maladaptive perfectionism, that's what researchers call it, that really, it ruined me. It also, you know, it really impacted the way that I showed up for my students. for my colleagues, for my research assistants. I was just, I had this inner criticality and like constant anxiety and stress about performance and it was impacting everybody.

But it's this maladaptive perfectionism, that's what researchers call it, that really, it ruined me. It also, you know, it really impacted the way that I showed up for my students. for my colleagues, for my research assistants. I was just, I had this inner criticality and like constant anxiety and stress about performance and it was impacting everybody.

And so to get back to your question of what hinders leaders showing up for others, I think we have to start really close to home and help leaders realize like, A, you need to be aware. You need to be curious about what is, you know, when you make a mistake or when you feel insecure about something What are you telling yourself? What is your inner critic saying to you, right?

And so to get back to your question of what hinders leaders showing up for others, I think we have to start really close to home and help leaders realize like, A, you need to be aware. You need to be curious about what is, you know, when you make a mistake or when you feel insecure about something What are you telling yourself? What is your inner critic saying to you, right?

And so to get back to your question of what hinders leaders showing up for others, I think we have to start really close to home and help leaders realize like, A, you need to be aware. You need to be curious about what is, you know, when you make a mistake or when you feel insecure about something What are you telling yourself? What is your inner critic saying to you, right?

And just be curious about that. And then to try to connect with other people and try to say like, look, you know, I need to talk this through. Like, am I overblowing this? Are my standards like, you know, you have to have people you can talk to about your perfectionism and about your anxiety so that they can go like, oh, sweetheart, I've made that mistake a million times. You are doing awesome.

And just be curious about that. And then to try to connect with other people and try to say like, look, you know, I need to talk this through. Like, am I overblowing this? Are my standards like, you know, you have to have people you can talk to about your perfectionism and about your anxiety so that they can go like, oh, sweetheart, I've made that mistake a million times. You are doing awesome.

And just be curious about that. And then to try to connect with other people and try to say like, look, you know, I need to talk this through. Like, am I overblowing this? Are my standards like, you know, you have to have people you can talk to about your perfectionism and about your anxiety so that they can go like, oh, sweetheart, I've made that mistake a million times. You are doing awesome.

So you can get some perspective. And then you have to learn to talk to yourself differently and say like, you know, I made a mistake. I'm a human. Mistakes are a part of life. I'm going to choose kindness, you know, and if there's accountability needed, I'm going to choose accountability too and move on.

So you can get some perspective. And then you have to learn to talk to yourself differently and say like, you know, I made a mistake. I'm a human. Mistakes are a part of life. I'm going to choose kindness, you know, and if there's accountability needed, I'm going to choose accountability too and move on.

So you can get some perspective. And then you have to learn to talk to yourself differently and say like, you know, I made a mistake. I'm a human. Mistakes are a part of life. I'm going to choose kindness, you know, and if there's accountability needed, I'm going to choose accountability too and move on.

Because if we can't be aware of that inner critic and soften it with some kindness and with some, hey, you know, I can support myself and learn and grow, but I'm not going to be hard on myself. If we can't do that, we stay in this very kind of amped up, anxious, hypercritical mode. And I don't know, Mick, have you ever been around somebody who just oozes criticality?

Because if we can't be aware of that inner critic and soften it with some kindness and with some, hey, you know, I can support myself and learn and grow, but I'm not going to be hard on myself. If we can't do that, we stay in this very kind of amped up, anxious, hypercritical mode. And I don't know, Mick, have you ever been around somebody who just oozes criticality?

Because if we can't be aware of that inner critic and soften it with some kindness and with some, hey, you know, I can support myself and learn and grow, but I'm not going to be hard on myself. If we can't do that, we stay in this very kind of amped up, anxious, hypercritical mode. And I don't know, Mick, have you ever been around somebody who just oozes criticality?

Like you can tell they're hard on themselves and other people?

Like you can tell they're hard on themselves and other people?

Like you can tell they're hard on themselves and other people?

Yeah.