Andrew Huberman

Hypothalamus versus forebrain does the good primitive stuff, meaning sexual attractiveness outweigh the ability to think about how great someone is.

Ideally, there's both.

But the good lover beats stated preferences model.

Yeah.

It's something that you've talked about before.

In other words,

Is the real glue in a long-term relationship some form of physical intimacy that, or put differently, can we think and talk our way, perhaps to ourselves, forward through a relationship that doesn't have that physical intimacy?

So is it true that sexual attractiveness, a person rating their partner as a quote-unquote good lover is among the strongest predictors of how positively they feel about their partner?

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, because I really appreciate your answer, but I want to make sure that if that's true, that comes through.

Because what I'm hearing is, yes, those feelings can wax and wane.

And yes, life circumstances and raising kids and job and stress.

Yes, yes.

Yes and yes.

I think everyone, including me, acknowledges that.

But this idea that it's not important after a certain stage or that a really healthy romantic relationship can exist without that, what I'm hearing is the data-

point in the other direction.

All seems to converge on, it's an important feature of romantic relationships to cultivate, protect from, you know, and you described some, to me, surprising moments.

I think for some reason it makes total sense and yet it's surprising that this kind of energy from the outside can provide positive support to the relationship.

But Esther said it, Esther, excuse me, has said it and others have said it.