Andrew Kuo
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Alright, so we're going to do the take and then we're just going to keep talking. Okay, good. Alright. So what's your take? Wait, give me again. Okay. I saw this flash. This is going in the episode.
Alright, so we're going to do the take and then we're just going to keep talking. Okay, good. Alright. So what's your take? Wait, give me again. Okay. I saw this flash. This is going in the episode.
I mean, I started selling used cars. That was one of my biggest hustles. You sold used cars? Yeah, dude. You flipped them. Yeah. eBay or in person or what? In person. So what I would do to pay for college, one of the many hustles is I would just buy a car on Craigslist, like let's say a 1997 Cadillac Seville, which was like three grand. I'd buy it.
I mean, I started selling used cars. That was one of my biggest hustles. You sold used cars? Yeah, dude. You flipped them. Yeah. eBay or in person or what? In person. So what I would do to pay for college, one of the many hustles is I would just buy a car on Craigslist, like let's say a 1997 Cadillac Seville, which was like three grand. I'd buy it.
And the next, I wouldn't even transfer the title. Next day, I would just relist it on Craigslist for like $4,000. And I would sell it. I had no modifications, no title transfer. I'd skip the, there's a word for it when you skip the title transfer. And I would just make $1,000. And back then, I mean, $1,000, that was paying for a lot of ramen noodles. Dude, right now $1,000 is killer, bro.
And the next, I wouldn't even transfer the title. Next day, I would just relist it on Craigslist for like $4,000. And I would sell it. I had no modifications, no title transfer. I'd skip the, there's a word for it when you skip the title transfer. And I would just make $1,000. And back then, I mean, $1,000, that was paying for a lot of ramen noodles. Dude, right now $1,000 is killer, bro.
thousand bucks is not worth much anymore i don't know bro in a tariff world i'll take a thousand i mean i'll take it everybody that's my new take everyone on earth could use a thousand bucks that's a good take and it's true but a thousand bucks in new york is one matcha latte and like a gourmet hot dog those sound like needs No, those are wants.
thousand bucks is not worth much anymore i don't know bro in a tariff world i'll take a thousand i mean i'll take it everybody that's my new take everyone on earth could use a thousand bucks that's a good take and it's true but a thousand bucks in new york is one matcha latte and like a gourmet hot dog those sound like needs No, those are wants.
That everybody... How do you decide... Actually, that's a good question. How do you decide what to pursue between your wants and your needs? I'm here on Earth. Constantly trying to avoid earthly desires. Yeah. You seem like the type of guy who has a good head on his shoulders.
That everybody... How do you decide... Actually, that's a good question. How do you decide what to pursue between your wants and your needs? I'm here on Earth. Constantly trying to avoid earthly desires. Yeah. You seem like the type of guy who has a good head on his shoulders.
Yeah, that's why you buy the Range Rover instead of the Toyota Camry. No, because selfishly, the Range Rover, you're like, look, I'll look cool, I'll be swaggy, but I can also fit seven. Whereas if I get the Toyota Camry, I can only fit...
Yeah, that's why you buy the Range Rover instead of the Toyota Camry. No, because selfishly, the Range Rover, you're like, look, I'll look cool, I'll be swaggy, but I can also fit seven. Whereas if I get the Toyota Camry, I can only fit...
I've seen your clothing. I know what's going on. Yeah, but this helps a lot of people. It helps the garment workers. See? I have to buy it. Yep, here we go. It helps. Don't even get me on fashion. Arabs in general because they're like, he's stylish and cool and maybe I can be stylish and cool as well.
I've seen your clothing. I know what's going on. Yeah, but this helps a lot of people. It helps the garment workers. See? I have to buy it. Yep, here we go. It helps. Don't even get me on fashion. Arabs in general because they're like, he's stylish and cool and maybe I can be stylish and cool as well.
I'm trying to get everyone off the mud. I want to be a good role model. That is actually something I really think about all the time. You know, I try to make content That is positive, not uplifting.
I'm trying to get everyone off the mud. I want to be a good role model. That is actually something I really think about all the time. You know, I try to make content That is positive, not uplifting.
I just don't want to put out negative vibes into the universe. Same, dude. So, like, everything I do, I run it through that filter of, like... It's almost like that great rule, which I'm sure you have as well, but, like, not doing any advertising that promotes tobacco, alcohol, or gambling. Sure. I don't do that. And one time I tried... To justify it to my mom? Yeah.
I just don't want to put out negative vibes into the universe. Same, dude. So, like, everything I do, I run it through that filter of, like... It's almost like that great rule, which I'm sure you have as well, but, like, not doing any advertising that promotes tobacco, alcohol, or gambling. Sure. I don't do that. And one time I tried... To justify it to my mom? Yeah.
So Bush is infected with what, like Conqueror Syndrome?
So Bush is infected with what, like Conqueror Syndrome?
I was like, what if I'm in an ad for a tequila company, but I'm not drinking? Yeah. And I'm also saying, I'm not telling people to drink, but I'm standing next to it. And she's like, who's paying? I'm like, the tequila company. She's like, you can't do it. And I go, all right, I get it. You know, trying to justify it. Right. But that's putting some negativity into the world.
I was like, what if I'm in an ad for a tequila company, but I'm not drinking? Yeah. And I'm also saying, I'm not telling people to drink, but I'm standing next to it. And she's like, who's paying? I'm like, the tequila company. She's like, you can't do it. And I go, all right, I get it. You know, trying to justify it. Right. But that's putting some negativity into the world.
Damn. Man's got me all the way back in. Is this us?
Damn. Man's got me all the way back in. Is this us?
All right. So here they have the most delicious Semek Meshwe I've ever had in New York. I can't wait. Oh, my God. It truly tastes like it came out of the Nile. I haven't eaten all day. Out of the Mediterranean. Me neither. I haven't eaten all day. I'm very excited. We're going to Hamido's. You like that one? Very good. The lips are so nice and thick. Cheers. We're here, bro.
All right. So here they have the most delicious Semek Meshwe I've ever had in New York. I can't wait. Oh, my God. It truly tastes like it came out of the Nile. I haven't eaten all day. Out of the Mediterranean. Me neither. I haven't eaten all day. I'm very excited. We're going to Hamido's. You like that one? Very good. The lips are so nice and thick. Cheers. We're here, bro.
Don't mock me on my show, bro.
Don't mock me on my show, bro.
wow that's the meshway baby that tastes like this is something else thank you so much thank you here i'll serve you you're gonna serve me i'll serve you yeah basha i'll serve you that's your dog's name famously famously do you have any nicknames growing up rami salami oh that's a white nickname though that was a white nickname yeah do you have any like ones that weren't making fun of you i ought to be nicknamed
wow that's the meshway baby that tastes like this is something else thank you so much thank you here i'll serve you you're gonna serve me i'll serve you yeah basha i'll serve you that's your dog's name famously famously do you have any nicknames growing up rami salami oh that's a white nickname though that was a white nickname yeah do you have any like ones that weren't making fun of you i ought to be nicknamed
Misho. Misho, that's nice. Did you have one? Kimo. Yeah, Kimo. But the problem is, I would still go by Kimo, but... Yeah, it's not ideal. It's not ideal at all. Yeah. You know when my dad moved to this country? He spelled my name on the passport, or on my birth certificate. K-R-E-M.
Misho. Misho, that's nice. Did you have one? Kimo. Yeah, Kimo. But the problem is, I would still go by Kimo, but... Yeah, it's not ideal. It's not ideal at all. Yeah. You know when my dad moved to this country? He spelled my name on the passport, or on my birth certificate. K-R-E-M.
Yeah. Wow. And I would go, and I asked my dad, why did you do this? Yeah. He was like, it's easier to spell. I said, bro, it's literally... He's right. It's crap. But it is easier to spell? It is easier to spell because there are two fucking letters missing that are necessary for the name to be Kareem. And so I got it legally changed. And you changed the last name, too? I changed the last name.
Yeah. Wow. And I would go, and I asked my dad, why did you do this? Yeah. He was like, it's easier to spell. I said, bro, it's literally... He's right. It's crap. But it is easier to spell? It is easier to spell because there are two fucking letters missing that are necessary for the name to be Kareem. And so I got it legally changed. And you changed the last name, too? I changed the last name.
That's an interesting story. When my dad moved to the States, his last name was Abu Rahma. Yeah. Yeah. It was like Sayyid Ahmed Abu Rahma. So he removed Abu Rahma and just went with Ahmed. So I was Kareem Ahmed. You were Kareem Ahmed. I was Kareem Ahmed. And I never really liked it because what really bothered me is it was two first names. Oh shit, you have two first names. I do.
That's an interesting story. When my dad moved to the States, his last name was Abu Rahma. Yeah. Yeah. It was like Sayyid Ahmed Abu Rahma. So he removed Abu Rahma and just went with Ahmed. So I was Kareem Ahmed. You were Kareem Ahmed. I was Kareem Ahmed. And I never really liked it because what really bothered me is it was two first names. Oh shit, you have two first names. I do.
Yeah, yeah, it's a really bad disease. There's no vaccine. Who else is bad? Who else is bad? I'll say it. Bibi. Yeah, Netanyahu? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it's a really bad disease. There's no vaccine. Who else is bad? Who else is bad? I'll say it. Bibi. Yeah, Netanyahu? Yeah.
I hate two first names. My uncle is Yusuf Yusuf. Two first names. I don't like two first names. And I'm sorry that I insulted your name. You first name shamed me, yeah, but... Maybe it was a beef problem. Yeah, you're gonna have beef with a lot of people, man. How often do you go to Egypt? Every year.
I hate two first names. My uncle is Yusuf Yusuf. Two first names. I don't like two first names. And I'm sorry that I insulted your name. You first name shamed me, yeah, but... Maybe it was a beef problem. Yeah, you're gonna have beef with a lot of people, man. How often do you go to Egypt? Every year.
That's a painful memory. Because my dad would always get so mad that he had to buy the phone card because it was like $40 for 10 minutes. That's expensive, bro. $3 a minute? Yeah. And then you barely know Arabic? Crazy. You know? Crazy. Say hi to your grandma. Hi. Oh, wow, your loser son doesn't speak Arabic anymore? And then it's quiet.
That's a painful memory. Because my dad would always get so mad that he had to buy the phone card because it was like $40 for 10 minutes. That's expensive, bro. $3 a minute? Yeah. And then you barely know Arabic? Crazy. You know? Crazy. Say hi to your grandma. Hi. Oh, wow, your loser son doesn't speak Arabic anymore? And then it's quiet.
John C. Reilly. I love that. He hit me with the Inshallah. That's, yeah. It was cool.
John C. Reilly. I love that. He hit me with the Inshallah. That's, yeah. It was cool.
It'll just be like everyone's Muslim. Well, Stepbrothers is an allegory about two young guys who are lost. And then they find Islam. And then they convert. And that's all of John T. Reilly just saying inshallah to you.
It'll just be like everyone's Muslim. Well, Stepbrothers is an allegory about two young guys who are lost. And then they find Islam. And then they convert. And that's all of John T. Reilly just saying inshallah to you.
Because, yeah, man. I thought it was just my mom, but the conversion lore that happens in Muslim families is the same. I got one the other day that said that Trump's daughter, it didn't say which one, but it said Trump's daughter does the Shahada conversion. My mom sent it to me. And I literally, I'm like, mom. Tiffany. That's why I didn't talk to her. That's why I didn't talk to her.
Because, yeah, man. I thought it was just my mom, but the conversion lore that happens in Muslim families is the same. I got one the other day that said that Trump's daughter, it didn't say which one, but it said Trump's daughter does the Shahada conversion. My mom sent it to me. And I literally, I'm like, mom. Tiffany. That's why I didn't talk to her. That's why I didn't talk to her.
I go, you don't actually believe this, do you? And she goes, it's on the news. I go, this is www.islamnews4real. Okay, because CNN has more logical headlines. I tried to explain to her that I could set up that website and start making my own fake news. And she was like, oh, really? Set one up for me. She wanted me to send a brush. She wants to do fake news? Yeah, for her. For her.
I go, you don't actually believe this, do you? And she goes, it's on the news. I go, this is www.islamnews4real. Okay, because CNN has more logical headlines. I tried to explain to her that I could set up that website and start making my own fake news. And she was like, oh, really? Set one up for me. She wanted me to send a brush. She wants to do fake news? Yeah, for her. For her.
So she wants to spread the... What she knows. Yeah, which is a lot of... Mamaganda? Mamaganda.
So she wants to spread the... What she knows. Yeah, which is a lot of... Mamaganda? Mamaganda.
No, you know what? They're pretty crispy on the outside, and then they're a little soft on the inside. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
No, you know what? They're pretty crispy on the outside, and then they're a little soft on the inside. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I've thought about this a lot I'm like really glad that I'm Egyptian and not you know no shade on the other no shade on the other ones but Egypt has a pretty good reputation all things considered the pyramids are still working for us well they've been coasting on the pyramids for a long time forever there's nothing new they're dropping a new pyramid they just did they dropped a little one they made a new little pyramid?
I've thought about this a lot I'm like really glad that I'm Egyptian and not you know no shade on the other no shade on the other ones but Egypt has a pretty good reputation all things considered the pyramids are still working for us well they've been coasting on the pyramids for a long time forever there's nothing new they're dropping a new pyramid they just did they dropped a little one they made a new little pyramid?
I think that BB might be infected by a djinn. That might be it. He has a dark spirit.
I think that BB might be infected by a djinn. That might be it. He has a dark spirit.
yeah well they didn't drop it they dug it up really? no they always drop new ones almost every three years or so they go oh we found another one Oh, we found another guy wrapped up. I'm kind of sick of mummies. All right, so I want to do takes on takes. So I need your take on the takes that have been on the show. And you have to play me, which is 100% agree, 100% disagree.
yeah well they didn't drop it they dug it up really? no they always drop new ones almost every three years or so they go oh we found another one Oh, we found another guy wrapped up. I'm kind of sick of mummies. All right, so I want to do takes on takes. So I need your take on the takes that have been on the show. And you have to play me, which is 100% agree, 100% disagree.
You see how difficult my job is. It's a very difficult job.
You see how difficult my job is. It's a very difficult job.
Yes, this whole country is built on 100% agree, 100% disagree. You can't be like a kind of agree guy here, which is why I made the show like that. We're going to start off with something problematic. Yeah. Gay men dress worse than straight men.
Yes, this whole country is built on 100% agree, 100% disagree. You can't be like a kind of agree guy here, which is why I made the show like that. We're going to start off with something problematic. Yeah. Gay men dress worse than straight men.
But bad theater, you're like, okay, I'm a hostage. I agree with you on that take. There's two types of people in this world. People with cases on their phones and people who go raw dog taste buds. Gang shit. Tears. 100% agree. That's so sick.
But bad theater, you're like, okay, I'm a hostage. I agree with you on that take. There's two types of people in this world. People with cases on their phones and people who go raw dog taste buds. Gang shit. Tears. 100% agree. That's so sick.
I actually haven't thought about this much, but I think this might be a problem. You know how in the coal mines you get the black lung? I spend a lot of time underground. I might get the black lung. You might get the F-train lung because you've been on it. Wait, this is so bad. I never thought about how being underground could be affecting my health. All right, let me give you another one.
I actually haven't thought about this much, but I think this might be a problem. You know how in the coal mines you get the black lung? I spend a lot of time underground. I might get the black lung. You might get the F-train lung because you've been on it. Wait, this is so bad. I never thought about how being underground could be affecting my health. All right, let me give you another one.
Therapists should not be hot. 100% agree. 100% agree. Yeah, it should be about the work.
Therapists should not be hot. 100% agree. 100% agree. Yeah, it should be about the work.
Yeah. And that's the problem with a hot therapist is you want them to like you no matter what. Even an ugly therapist, you want them to like you.
Yeah. And that's the problem with a hot therapist is you want them to like you no matter what. Even an ugly therapist, you want them to like you.
I know, but that's, you know, I ask God every day to forgive me for having a hot wife. Yeah.
I know, but that's, you know, I ask God every day to forgive me for having a hot wife. Yeah.
So you feel bad for him, that he's essentially an American human refugee on Earth.
So you feel bad for him, that he's essentially an American human refugee on Earth.
Anything else you're thinking about?
Anything else you're thinking about?
That's that's that's the how many layers of heaven are there? How many levels? I think there's seven. Okay, that's the highest level of heaven. You know how I don't know how many levels there are? Yeah. Because my mom's always like, if you want to make it to the top one, you have to do these things. I go, I'm good with the bottom.
That's that's that's the how many layers of heaven are there? How many levels? I think there's seven. Okay, that's the highest level of heaven. You know how I don't know how many levels there are? Yeah. Because my mom's always like, if you want to make it to the top one, you have to do these things. I go, I'm good with the bottom.
I can think of countless examples of bad people. I'm not even going to rattle them off.
I can think of countless examples of bad people. I'm not even going to rattle them off.
No, they're like, you can get whatever you want in heaven. I'm like, great. I just need level one. I don't need plus. I don't need premium. I don't need the highest level tier. I'm good with Hulu with ads. It's fine. I'll take heaven with ads. It's fine with me.
No, they're like, you can get whatever you want in heaven. I'm like, great. I just need level one. I don't need plus. I don't need premium. I don't need the highest level tier. I'm good with Hulu with ads. It's fine. I'll take heaven with ads. It's fine with me.
No, I agree. That feeling. Here's the thing. It's kind of like, I don't want to keep bringing this back to Islam, but it's kind of like Ramadan.
No, I agree. That feeling. Here's the thing. It's kind of like, I don't want to keep bringing this back to Islam, but it's kind of like Ramadan.
And when you pee, it's the iftar. Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, like you're fasting all day by not peeing. By not peeing.
And when you pee, it's the iftar. Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, like you're fasting all day by not peeing. By not peeing.
You get to pee and you're like, oh, my God. And then at the end of the day, you go, oh, God, that feels so good to pee.
You get to pee and you're like, oh, my God. And then at the end of the day, you go, oh, God, that feels so good to pee.
It changed it so quickly. How quickly did it change your gut from ingesting to operation change my pants? It's a five-hour situation. Five-hour situation.
It changed it so quickly. How quickly did it change your gut from ingesting to operation change my pants? It's a five-hour situation. Five-hour situation.
do this and you're going to feel so good at night well that's one of the only times I ever feel like sometimes I forget that I'm a soul in a body sometimes I realize after I take that leak that's when I realize I have a body and it feels good to have a body I don't take it for granted anymore you ever have that moment where you wake up and you go oh look these are my hands and that's what happens after that long day of holding it in I go
do this and you're going to feel so good at night well that's one of the only times I ever feel like sometimes I forget that I'm a soul in a body sometimes I realize after I take that leak that's when I realize I have a body and it feels good to have a body I don't take it for granted anymore you ever have that moment where you wake up and you go oh look these are my hands and that's what happens after that long day of holding it in I go
Man, it feels good to be a human.
Man, it feels good to be a human.
you got a new show coming out. First ever animated. First ever Rami Youssef animated. Tell me about how difficult that was. I can only imagine that this human being, it's a lot easier to control this body than it is to control a bunch of other bodies.
you got a new show coming out. First ever animated. First ever Rami Youssef animated. Tell me about how difficult that was. I can only imagine that this human being, it's a lot easier to control this body than it is to control a bunch of other bodies.
Did you get to stand in the booth? I love watching those videos of people doing voice.
Did you get to stand in the booth? I love watching those videos of people doing voice.
Every father has.
Every father has.
I was about to say, that's literally, I see myself every day, the baby gets older, I see myself turning more and more into a dad. I'm a stereotypical dad where I'm... I don't have manic energy, man. I'm a really relaxed... No, you're chill. I'm the chillest guy, but now I find myself being like, is that a choking hazard?
I was about to say, that's literally, I see myself every day, the baby gets older, I see myself turning more and more into a dad. I'm a stereotypical dad where I'm... I don't have manic energy, man. I'm a really relaxed... No, you're chill. I'm the chillest guy, but now I find myself being like, is that a choking hazard?
Where all of a sudden your brow is furrowed and you're like, who left the lights on? Dude, every... I think that's about being a dad, right? I've never in my life... I've been poor so many times. Always left the lights on. I've never in my life complained about how expensive things are. And now I'm like... I was talking to my wife. I'm like...
Where all of a sudden your brow is furrowed and you're like, who left the lights on? Dude, every... I think that's about being a dad, right? I've never in my life... I've been poor so many times. Always left the lights on. I've never in my life complained about how expensive things are. And now I'm like... I was talking to my wife. I'm like...
why is the sea bass so expensive yeah she's like because because sufi needs to eat sea bass no and i go we don't eat sea bass no you and me why are we eating salmon but the baby's eating sea bass and then she's getting way goo yeah yeah no i think you become a father you prioritize tilapia and you're just like this is what it's we're a tilapia and shrimp family
why is the sea bass so expensive yeah she's like because because sufi needs to eat sea bass no and i go we don't eat sea bass no you and me why are we eating salmon but the baby's eating sea bass and then she's getting way goo yeah yeah no i think you become a father you prioritize tilapia and you're just like this is what it's we're a tilapia and shrimp family
And kind of just, you know, key food salmon family. I don't know what happened to me because I used to be cool and now I'm my own father. Yeah, all of a sudden sushi's a ripoff. It's an awful deal. You're like, I'm paying $40 for all these tiny pieces. Dude, dads are so funny like that. Dads go to wholesalers. When I was young, my dad would take us out to All You Can Eat Chinese. Uh-huh.
And kind of just, you know, key food salmon family. I don't know what happened to me because I used to be cool and now I'm my own father. Yeah, all of a sudden sushi's a ripoff. It's an awful deal. You're like, I'm paying $40 for all these tiny pieces. Dude, dads are so funny like that. Dads go to wholesalers. When I was young, my dad would take us out to All You Can Eat Chinese. Uh-huh.
But he had stipulations. When we went to All You Can Eat Chinese, we were only allowed to eat crab legs and shrimp. But if I came back with a plate of spaghetti, well, not at the Chinese place, but if I came back with a plate of orange chicken, he would make me bring it back. Because he was like, I'm paying $20 for All You Can Eat. You better be eating good.
But he had stipulations. When we went to All You Can Eat Chinese, we were only allowed to eat crab legs and shrimp. But if I came back with a plate of spaghetti, well, not at the Chinese place, but if I came back with a plate of orange chicken, he would make me bring it back. Because he was like, I'm paying $20 for All You Can Eat. You better be eating good.
He's like, we have orange chicken at home. Wow. Yeah.
He's like, we have orange chicken at home. Wow. Yeah.
Oh, my God. Imagine an all-you-can-eat buffet in Egypt. Have you ever thought about that? No. Dude, people would not leave. I don't know if they'd like it, honestly. I think they would love it. Are you kidding me? You think? Yes. But the problem is they wouldn't leave.
Oh, my God. Imagine an all-you-can-eat buffet in Egypt. Have you ever thought about that? No. Dude, people would not leave. I don't know if they'd like it, honestly. I think they would love it. Are you kidding me? You think? Yes. But the problem is they wouldn't leave.
Or there would be a lot of to-go.
Or there would be a lot of to-go.
to go bags not even boxes like a literal duffel no they would have a duffel bag of beans when they go to the airport you know an Egyptian family in the airport has 85 bags for three people they're just leaving the buffet just rollers a roller case with we would bring we would bring so much food from Egypt in the suitcase to back to the back to the states yeah all the time like what
to go bags not even boxes like a literal duffel no they would have a duffel bag of beans when they go to the airport you know an Egyptian family in the airport has 85 bags for three people they're just leaving the buffet just rollers a roller case with we would bring we would bring so much food from Egypt in the suitcase to back to the back to the states yeah all the time like what
Just loose, loosey?
Just loose, loosey?
I don't think you can bring them now anymore. Like, I tried to bring some sunflower seeds, some lib.
I don't think you can bring them now anymore. Like, I tried to bring some sunflower seeds, some lib.
No, no, they'd say we have to confiscate these.
No, no, they'd say we have to confiscate these.
You don't know what's going on with that. They're eating beans. The show, though, is really, really funny. I saw the first couple of episodes.
You don't know what's going on with that. They're eating beans. The show, though, is really, really funny. I saw the first couple of episodes.
I gave notes. I didn't give notes.
I gave notes. I didn't give notes.
Let's say I didn't give notes, but what I did do was say, I like it. You said, what do you think? I said, it's good. No, no, there was one time. You were that reserved about it. You sent me a cut and you said, should we put this music in the beginning?
Let's say I didn't give notes, but what I did do was say, I like it. You said, what do you think? I said, it's good. No, no, there was one time. You were that reserved about it. You sent me a cut and you said, should we put this music in the beginning?
Yeah, it's so damn funny. Did you sing the songs?
Yeah, it's so damn funny. Did you sing the songs?
That's who I get. Bob Dylan. No. You don't get Bob Dylan? You get a little bit of a Bob Dylan. Well, we both have, like, Dylan-esque froze, but...
That's who I get. Bob Dylan. No. You don't get Bob Dylan? You get a little bit of a Bob Dylan. Well, we both have, like, Dylan-esque froze, but...
after 9-11 happened did your dad put up a bunch of American flags yeah the whole block did but I think we had one or two more just to be like hey you know for good measure we got a huge one huge one like really large you know the ones that you see in like a used car dealership yeah yeah yeah that was in our yard all of a sudden and I didn't get it like I was like dad what the hell is that when did you guys start selling used cars
after 9-11 happened did your dad put up a bunch of American flags yeah the whole block did but I think we had one or two more just to be like hey you know for good measure we got a huge one huge one like really large you know the ones that you see in like a used car dealership yeah yeah yeah that was in our yard all of a sudden and I didn't get it like I was like dad what the hell is that when did you guys start selling used cars
Oh, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, look, now I'm doing it too. That's great. And by the way, I love that you're giving me credit for getting things done. We have to agree that I did not get a guest for this episode.
Oh, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, look, now I'm doing it too. That's great. And by the way, I love that you're giving me credit for getting things done. We have to agree that I did not get a guest for this episode.
That did not happen.
That did not happen.
Well, look, it's not really me. I think we've decided that it's someone else.
Well, look, it's not really me. I think we've decided that it's someone else.
That's true. That's true. What I'm going to blame it on is that it was a holiday weekend. People were not responsive. And so now it's just a boys episode.
That's true. That's true. What I'm going to blame it on is that it was a holiday weekend. People were not responsive. And so now it's just a boys episode.
Where are they going to comment that? Where do the comments go?
Where are they going to comment that? Where do the comments go?
Oh, okay. That's nice.
Oh, okay. That's nice.
Okay. All right. Are we ready for this feedback?
Okay. All right. Are we ready for this feedback?
Oh, yes. So people can call in.
Oh, yes. So people can call in.
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, sorry.
You just Googled it and they're like, oh, you can get one?
You just Googled it and they're like, oh, you can get one?
Yeah, I mean, I can give you the number. I mean, what's the number?
Yeah, I mean, I can give you the number. I mean, what's the number?
Star 67.
Star 67.
Yeah, do you have the number? Oh, wait. Are you saying that you don't have the number?
Yeah, do you have the number? Oh, wait. Are you saying that you don't have the number?
I don't think that's a thing. This is so confusing. Look, Google's a mess.
I don't think that's a thing. This is so confusing. Look, Google's a mess.
By the way, someone hit us up with a Google bag. By the way, what do you want people to do with this phone number? What would they say if they left us a message?
By the way, someone hit us up with a Google bag. By the way, what do you want people to do with this phone number? What would they say if they left us a message?
Is it a good number?
Is it a good number?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
Yeah, but is it a good number? No, it's not.
Yeah, but is it a good number? No, it's not.
I would rather have no number than a New Jersey number, honestly.
I would rather have no number than a New Jersey number, honestly.
I don't give a shit. No, it's not.
I don't give a shit. No, it's not.
Can we actually talk about Garden State for a second if we have the time?
Can we actually talk about Garden State for a second if we have the time?
great that's a good number actually is it a good number it is a good number it's like not like a weird mix of numbers it's a nice kind of um number that flows yeah it's nice yeah and i was i was there was a couple really good numbers last time when i was trying to get google voice but for some reason i was banned but now we have it this is big time this is huge this is big time what if we what if we don't get that many messages though that's fine okay we just have to keep plugging it on it on every show
great that's a good number actually is it a good number it is a good number it's like not like a weird mix of numbers it's a nice kind of um number that flows yeah it's nice yeah and i was i was there was a couple really good numbers last time when i was trying to get google voice but for some reason i was banned but now we have it this is big time this is huge this is big time what if we what if we don't get that many messages though that's fine okay we just have to keep plugging it on it on every show
Because I just, because I was just talking, while I was just talking about this, like, that era of New York City, like, the shins and whatever, all this shit, like, is that a movie that you think is, like, iconically representative of, like, an era, like, girls type shit?
Because I just, because I was just talking, while I was just talking about this, like, that era of New York City, like, the shins and whatever, all this shit, like, is that a movie that you think is, like, iconically representative of, like, an era, like, girls type shit?
Like, or is it just, like, oh, wow, like, it's actually a terrible movie that has no cultural significance, and I'm so glad we're past that phase. Mm.
Like, or is it just, like, oh, wow, like, it's actually a terrible movie that has no cultural significance, and I'm so glad we're past that phase. Mm.
Like it brings a smile to your face? In what sense?
Like it brings a smile to your face? In what sense?
He's in the doldrums. He is definitely in the doldrums. Hollywood hasn't worked out for him. He has to come back home.
He's in the doldrums. He is definitely in the doldrums. Hollywood hasn't worked out for him. He has to come back home.
I think we're having a conversation about the decline of print media. We should have that conversation.
I think we're having a conversation about the decline of print media. We should have that conversation.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And I also remember you were playing a lot of hoops. I was hooping. Yeah, you really were hooping because I was talking about you were hooping.
Yeah. And I also remember you were playing a lot of hoops. I was hooping. Yeah, you really were hooping because I was talking about you were hooping.
No, but you're also hooping in your bed. Did you have a hoop behind your house or something? You're shooting hoops with random kids. I remember you telling me that story too. You'd just be hooping.
No, but you're also hooping in your bed. Did you have a hoop behind your house or something? You're shooting hoops with random kids. I remember you telling me that story too. You'd just be hooping.
Oh, was it? Okay. I never moved to Minneapolis.
Oh, was it? Okay. I never moved to Minneapolis.
Oh, so you're saying the all-drinking diet is what got you slim?
Oh, so you're saying the all-drinking diet is what got you slim?
Yeah, right. Just to make sure you're not eating anything else. Yeah.
Yeah, right. Just to make sure you're not eating anything else. Yeah.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, that's nice.
Are you obsessively checking your weight or just like you do it once a week and you step on the scale?
Are you obsessively checking your weight or just like you do it once a week and you step on the scale?
Every morning. Wow.
Every morning. Wow.
Right, right. I mean, man, what was the catalyst for this? You just saw yourself in a picture being like, oh boy, I kind of have an interesting no-shape shape.
Right, right. I mean, man, what was the catalyst for this? You just saw yourself in a picture being like, oh boy, I kind of have an interesting no-shape shape.
Well, that's a perspective thing. The baby is small. You can hardly be blamed for looking gigantic next to it.
Well, that's a perspective thing. The baby is small. You can hardly be blamed for looking gigantic next to it.
No one can see the photo, Karim.
No one can see the photo, Karim.
Oh, yeah. You look husky, I would say, in that picture.
Oh, yeah. You look husky, I would say, in that picture.
Yeah, right, right. By the way, I will flag that we were actually in the print magazine on the Sunday. No, no, I heard.
Yeah, right, right. By the way, I will flag that we were actually in the print magazine on the Sunday. No, no, I heard.
Okay, got it.
Okay, got it.
But they're just like, oh, your fat mass is too high.
But they're just like, oh, your fat mass is too high.
They don't even give you a number. There's like, oh, sir.
They don't even give you a number. There's like, oh, sir.
Yeah, that's really fat. That's really high.
Yeah, that's really fat. That's really high.
Yeah, I think you have to be sub-10% to see abs, and mid-teens is probably pretty good.
Yeah, I think you have to be sub-10% to see abs, and mid-teens is probably pretty good.
Oh, man. But is this the language they use? They say just like excellent or they say high?
Oh, man. But is this the language they use? They say just like excellent or they say high?
Why? Why would they send photos to you? Because I'm mentioned in the article. You are mentioned in the article. That's true. That is true. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I think... It was very funny for that to happen.
Why? Why would they send photos to you? Because I'm mentioned in the article. You are mentioned in the article. That's true. That is true. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I think... It was very funny for that to happen.
my visceral fat high what is it with like what does that mean visceral fat like you're angry fat it's so visceral what does that mean no i think that's like in the belly that's like the oh yeah that doesn't sound very good how does it know all of this though i don't know i don't know yeah because i did the same thing at equinox and where you just stand on like basically like these magnets on a on a weight pad and i'm like this how are they getting so specific you know percentage points to like two decimals it doesn't seem like that makes sense
my visceral fat high what is it with like what does that mean visceral fat like you're angry fat it's so visceral what does that mean no i think that's like in the belly that's like the oh yeah that doesn't sound very good how does it know all of this though i don't know i don't know yeah because i did the same thing at equinox and where you just stand on like basically like these magnets on a on a weight pad and i'm like this how are they getting so specific you know percentage points to like two decimals it doesn't seem like that makes sense
Maybe. I mean, I'm sure we could look this up. I mean, it's definitely a smart scale.
Maybe. I mean, I'm sure we could look this up. I mean, it's definitely a smart scale.
Did you just come up with that idea, concept yourself? Or had you read that somewhere? Because that's actually a really smart idea.
Did you just come up with that idea, concept yourself? Or had you read that somewhere? Because that's actually a really smart idea.
It's like, it's just wading through an ocean of fat.
It's like, it's just wading through an ocean of fat.
Yeah, that's not called gluttonous. That's just called you're just a sedentary, unhealthy human. Phoning it in. Yeah, you're phoning it in. That's right.
Yeah, that's not called gluttonous. That's just called you're just a sedentary, unhealthy human. Phoning it in. Yeah, you're phoning it in. That's right.
I think the thing that was most fun about it was getting some messages on LinkedIn from people that I haven't spoken to in a while wishing me a congratulations because they had seen it in the Times and I thought that was really nice. That is nice. You know, that was particularly nice. LinkedIn people. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm so glad we're a first degree connection. Thanks for reaching out.
I think the thing that was most fun about it was getting some messages on LinkedIn from people that I haven't spoken to in a while wishing me a congratulations because they had seen it in the Times and I thought that was really nice. That is nice. You know, that was particularly nice. LinkedIn people. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm so glad we're a first degree connection. Thanks for reaching out.
Right.
Right.
Wow. You had the dry popcorn. Yeah. So dry.
Wow. You had the dry popcorn. Yeah. So dry.
Right.
Right.
You would never want to get married in front of anything other than a custom piece of wood. What about the pyramids? Is that what you're doing? Are we going to the pyramids? That would be sick, first of all.
You would never want to get married in front of anything other than a custom piece of wood. What about the pyramids? Is that what you're doing? Are we going to the pyramids? That would be sick, first of all.
Check back in in a year. Yeah, look, I guess that's a question of perception. There was a time when I was talking about everything and I kind of caught myself as like, ooh, there is a really bad, snarky, cringy version of what I'm saying. And I hope to fucking God she doesn't do that take.
Check back in in a year. Yeah, look, I guess that's a question of perception. There was a time when I was talking about everything and I kind of caught myself as like, ooh, there is a really bad, snarky, cringy version of what I'm saying. And I hope to fucking God she doesn't do that take.
Did she? I should review this whole thing. That could be a whole episode, man. I should review this whole thing.
Did she? I should review this whole thing. That could be a whole episode, man. I should review this whole thing.
Yeah, that was a cool vibe. I get that.
Yeah, that was a cool vibe. I get that.
They are very cool.
They are very cool.
Dude, they're so lit. I mean, again, all three are very creative. As you know, that was the theme of the article was that only creative people allowed. But yeah, man. Look, I aspire to be that age and still doing my thing. That's actually the biggest takeaway from those three guys.
Dude, they're so lit. I mean, again, all three are very creative. As you know, that was the theme of the article was that only creative people allowed. But yeah, man. Look, I aspire to be that age and still doing my thing. That's actually the biggest takeaway from those three guys.
They've been in the game for decades and they literally, if you talk to them and hung out with them, you'd be like, oh shit, these guys are dope.
They've been in the game for decades and they literally, if you talk to them and hung out with them, you'd be like, oh shit, these guys are dope.
What, with them or just generally speaking?
What, with them or just generally speaking?
Right, right. No, look, if we're not cool like 40 years from now, we've definitely fucked this up. And by that I mean all three of us, Dale included. We're going to be the other three wise men. That's the aspiration, man. I don't aspire for money. I aspire to always be cool when I'm older. Same. You don't want to be washed. No, that's the worst thing.
Right, right. No, look, if we're not cool like 40 years from now, we've definitely fucked this up. And by that I mean all three of us, Dale included. We're going to be the other three wise men. That's the aspiration, man. I don't aspire for money. I aspire to always be cool when I'm older. Same. You don't want to be washed. No, that's the worst thing.
And that's why, you know, you got to spend time with young people.
And that's why, you know, you got to spend time with young people.
Exactly. Punk, dude.
Exactly. Punk, dude.
Always punk.
Always punk.
Is it punk? Fuck yeah. Nice, dude. If you actually knew what it was, you wouldn't say that, but I'm glad that you think it's punk.
Is it punk? Fuck yeah. Nice, dude. If you actually knew what it was, you wouldn't say that, but I'm glad that you think it's punk.
No, it's a hat from one of my favorite golf courses. So it's actually the anti-punk. No, that's sick.
No, it's a hat from one of my favorite golf courses. So it's actually the anti-punk. No, that's sick.
Golf is sick, dude.
Golf is sick, dude.
Just because he's doing business or him just... Shit, man. That's so tight.
Just because he's doing business or him just... Shit, man. That's so tight.
Yeah, the tea box.
Yeah, the tea box.
Look, we're very creative.
Look, we're very creative.
Shout out Luigi. I didn't say that. I didn't say that either, man. That was Dale. No, dude. Golf is tight. I think it's tight just doing the stuff you're into. And right now I'm into golfing.
Shout out Luigi. I didn't say that. I didn't say that either, man. That was Dale. No, dude. Golf is tight. I think it's tight just doing the stuff you're into. And right now I'm into golfing.
Oh, dude. Let's ride, baby. Let's ride.
Oh, dude. Let's ride, baby. Let's ride.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because my primary residence is in the city, obviously. That's according to the New York Times.
Because my primary residence is in the city, obviously. That's according to the New York Times.
Oh, that like a bump to you're like this is bizarre.
Oh, that like a bump to you're like this is bizarre.
um you're shook I'm literal speechless I don't know how to respond to that well because first of all it's like I don't know who this person is and I don't want I don't know if I've met this person um so I don't want to be derogatory toward towards that choice but it's a choice it's a derogatory choice it's a choice I mean it's a real choice are they are they are they from Denver
um you're shook I'm literal speechless I don't know how to respond to that well because first of all it's like I don't know who this person is and I don't want I don't know if I've met this person um so I don't want to be derogatory toward towards that choice but it's a choice it's a derogatory choice it's a choice I mean it's a real choice are they are they are they from Denver
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be honest. Are you actually friends with him? Or are you just trying to be nice because it's a recording? No, no. He's my good friend.
Be honest. Are you actually friends with him? Or are you just trying to be nice because it's a recording? No, no. He's my good friend.
Oh, got it. Whispering.
Oh, got it. Whispering.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, midstream.
Oh, midstream.
And pulled ahead. So your friend John really wanted to go to Denver.
And pulled ahead. So your friend John really wanted to go to Denver.
Oh, Eric. Okay, got it.
Oh, Eric. Okay, got it.
Yeah, yeah. Because you realized your whispering wasn't working, so you just came out. So I went to the town square. You went to the town square and started shouting from the rooftops.
Yeah, yeah. Because you realized your whispering wasn't working, so you just came out. So I went to the town square. You went to the town square and started shouting from the rooftops.
Yeah. Look, I think the Times is trying to capture the creative energy of the city and highlight people who are really creative, creative directors, creative designers. Creative producers. Creative producers. Look, I get it. I get it. But no, it was a really funny thing. I did buy the paper, by the way. Of course. Are you going to frame it? No, I'm not going to frame it.
Yeah. Look, I think the Times is trying to capture the creative energy of the city and highlight people who are really creative, creative directors, creative designers. Creative producers. Creative producers. Look, I get it. I get it. But no, it was a really funny thing. I did buy the paper, by the way. Of course. Are you going to frame it? No, I'm not going to frame it.
Wow.
Wow.
They're like, you're being too mean.
They're like, you're being too mean.
And so now everyone thinks they have to accommodate Kareem. Well, here's what I did. Wow. Here's a nice special... Well, here's also what I think. So they think you're big-timing now. So the whole trip, they're going to be checking in with you. Kareem, are you okay? Are you okay with this trip? They're white, which means they're selfish. Right. That makes sense. I agree.
And so now everyone thinks they have to accommodate Kareem. Well, here's what I did. Wow. Here's a nice special... Well, here's also what I think. So they think you're big-timing now. So the whole trip, they're going to be checking in with you. Kareem, are you okay? Are you okay with this trip? They're white, which means they're selfish. Right. That makes sense. I agree.
Right. Okay.
Right. Okay.
Yeah. Well, it sounds like your whispering failed.
Yeah. Well, it sounds like your whispering failed.
Yeah, which really makes me question how good of a convincer you are. It sounds like you're actually not that great at it.
Yeah, which really makes me question how good of a convincer you are. It sounds like you're actually not that great at it.
I'm pretty good. I have seen you pitch. That's why I'm shocked that it's gone. It's not even like you went to an okay destination. Denver is crazy. I would keep that to yourself.
I'm pretty good. I have seen you pitch. That's why I'm shocked that it's gone. It's not even like you went to an okay destination. Denver is crazy. I would keep that to yourself.
Okay, that's lit.
Okay, that's lit.
you're not going to have a good time.
you're not going to have a good time.
Yes, that's true.
Yes, that's true.
Why not great friends? Why did you correct yourself? No, no.
Why not great friends? Why did you correct yourself? No, no.
But it actually was kind of hard to find a paper upstate.
But it actually was kind of hard to find a paper upstate.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, man. Question related to this. Etiquette. Is everyone chipping in to cover the costs of The Bachelor? Is The Bachelor shelling out any money on this trip? Or what's happening? Because I think that's what used to happen. I don't know if that's what happens anymore.
Yeah, man. Question related to this. Etiquette. Is everyone chipping in to cover the costs of The Bachelor? Is The Bachelor shelling out any money on this trip? Or what's happening? Because I think that's what used to happen. I don't know if that's what happens anymore.
So then he's not paying for everyone to fly to Italy then?
So then he's not paying for everyone to fly to Italy then?
Right. No, I like that. I like that gesture. That's what adults should do. I really do think adults should do that. They should be accommodating and hosting their friends.
Right. No, I like that. I like that gesture. That's what adults should do. I really do think adults should do that. They should be accommodating and hosting their friends.
Of course. Those who can should.
Of course. Those who can should.
Yeah, it'll still be a good time. All right, so I guess I like Rick again.
Yeah, it'll still be a good time. All right, so I guess I like Rick again.
Yeah. Well, look, I think the reality is now you're gonna have a really good story. Because it's completely insane that this is where you're going for a bachelor party. I've just never heard it. It sounds like more like you're going to like a like a industry convention, you know, for like a SaaS company. It's like, why are you in Denver? It's like a bachelor party.
Yeah. Well, look, I think the reality is now you're gonna have a really good story. Because it's completely insane that this is where you're going for a bachelor party. I've just never heard it. It sounds like more like you're going to like a like a industry convention, you know, for like a SaaS company. It's like, why are you in Denver? It's like a bachelor party.
I know.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What does that even mean?
What does that even mean?
Got it.
Got it.
Yeah. And you're just like playing EDM and you guys are just like dancing with each other.
Yeah. And you're just like playing EDM and you guys are just like dancing with each other.
Yeah. It's going to be fun.
Yeah. It's going to be fun.
It'll be great. Wait, are you going to have a bachelor party? No. Maybe. Why'd you say no so definitively? What happened there?
It'll be great. Wait, are you going to have a bachelor party? No. Maybe. Why'd you say no so definitively? What happened there?
I'm also so certain that it's not, first of all.
I'm also so certain that it's not, first of all.
What? The one to Italy and then the one to Ireland and then the... And then Paris. Yeah, that is going to be a sick trip.
What? The one to Italy and then the one to Ireland and then the... And then Paris. Yeah, that is going to be a sick trip.
It's going to be great content for the pod.
It's going to be great content for the pod.
Nice.
Nice.
Me? I got calls. I got baby shit to do. You have to prepare the tub? I got to prepare the tub. But I also got to set the vibe because it's like a home birth. Well, I asked you that question. I asked you that question. You did. Yeah, which is a good question, right? It was a great question. For the audience, the question was, what kind of music am I going to play during the event?
Me? I got calls. I got baby shit to do. You have to prepare the tub? I got to prepare the tub. But I also got to set the vibe because it's like a home birth. Well, I asked you that question. I asked you that question. You did. Yeah, which is a good question, right? It was a great question. For the audience, the question was, what kind of music am I going to play during the event?
and hadn't really thought about it. And by the way, I don't know if I'm allowed to disclose this, but you were playing Bob Marley, which I thought was a really... Of course you could disclose. I thought that was a very interesting choice because I've never known you to be a big Bob Marley fan. And I think I was going to ask you, it's like, yeah, you don't even smoke weed.
and hadn't really thought about it. And by the way, I don't know if I'm allowed to disclose this, but you were playing Bob Marley, which I thought was a really... Of course you could disclose. I thought that was a very interesting choice because I've never known you to be a big Bob Marley fan. And I think I was going to ask you, it's like, yeah, you don't even smoke weed.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Which is where Bob Marley is famously from.
Okay. Which is where Bob Marley is famously from.
And then how long did you let that playlist play for? You let the algo take over? Or were you just like, we're going to play the hits, maybe one or two hits. I was DJing. Okay, nice.
And then how long did you let that playlist play for? You let the algo take over? Or were you just like, we're going to play the hits, maybe one or two hits. I was DJing. Okay, nice.
Yeah, they're like, oh, Kareem, do you want to cut the umbilical cord and do skin to skin? You're like, no, I'm DJing right now. I'm busy. I'll get back to you in 20 minutes.
Yeah, they're like, oh, Kareem, do you want to cut the umbilical cord and do skin to skin? You're like, no, I'm DJing right now. I'm busy. I'll get back to you in 20 minutes.
Oh, did it feel like cutting meat? Is that a weird question?
Oh, did it feel like cutting meat? Is that a weird question?
Yeah. Do you get to keep the scissors? Is that part of the memorabilia? No.
Yeah. Do you get to keep the scissors? Is that part of the memorabilia? No.
Am I going to get a moil? I think he might just be au naturel, dude. That's tight. I think that's back. I think that's back in 2025. I think guys are holding on to their foreskins. What's up? Well, and either. Yeah. Yeah. I just like the word moil, to be honest with you. It is a fun word.
Am I going to get a moil? I think he might just be au naturel, dude. That's tight. I think that's back. I think that's back in 2025. I think guys are holding on to their foreskins. What's up? Well, and either. Yeah. Yeah. I just like the word moil, to be honest with you. It is a fun word.
Did she know what you were talking about?
Did she know what you were talking about?
Yeah. Do you think they go to school for that? I would hope so. They're not just practicing as they go.
Yeah. Do you think they go to school for that? I would hope so. They're not just practicing as they go.
Your penis?
Your penis?
Oh, so you have a fucked up penis. Is that what you're saying?
Oh, so you have a fucked up penis. Is that what you're saying?
Oh. I don't need a description.
Oh. I don't need a description.
Oh, you're not symmetrical is what you're saying. not clean. I don't know what that means. I've never looked at my penis and been like, oh, that doesn't look very clean.
Oh, you're not symmetrical is what you're saying. not clean. I don't know what that means. I've never looked at my penis and been like, oh, that doesn't look very clean.
Well, look. It's high and tight. look, Kareem, you're doing well. You're doing well business, career. You can get that fixed if you want to. I'm sure you could find a person that specializes in adult correctional, corrective penis surgery. Be like, yo, I just want to nip and tuck this area right here. That is what it needs. Maybe you should do that for your 40th birthday.
Well, look. It's high and tight. look, Kareem, you're doing well. You're doing well business, career. You can get that fixed if you want to. I'm sure you could find a person that specializes in adult correctional, corrective penis surgery. Be like, yo, I just want to nip and tuck this area right here. That is what it needs. Maybe you should do that for your 40th birthday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, maybe I'll get that for you for your 40th.
Actually, maybe I'll get that for you for your 40th.
but i don't i just don't know what the point is because i'm already married i already have a baby i don't really need my penis anymore that's true you're definitely not using it but i think it's more that like when you look down you're like oh no they they fucked up well first i have to lose about 20 pounds so i can see my penis right that's right that's really the main reason why you're doing this like i need to get a smart scale i already had the smart scale oh wow you've always been smart i like that
but i don't i just don't know what the point is because i'm already married i already have a baby i don't really need my penis anymore that's true you're definitely not using it but i think it's more that like when you look down you're like oh no they they fucked up well first i have to lose about 20 pounds so i can see my penis right that's right that's really the main reason why you're doing this like i need to get a smart scale i already had the smart scale oh wow you've always been smart i like that
Yeah, look, I mean, if you haven't seen it in a while, look, that's when you know that you've got to get your shit together.
Yeah, look, I mean, if you haven't seen it in a while, look, that's when you know that you've got to get your shit together.
Oh, shit. Yeah, man. Look, the foreskin is back, dude. That's what I hear is really hip these days based off of all the chatter in the community. Chad. Chad? Chad. What about Chad? That's your son's name. Oh, God. I'm actually trying to figure that out with my mom. She's been sending me just the most wackadoodle emails with Chinese names.
Oh, shit. Yeah, man. Look, the foreskin is back, dude. That's what I hear is really hip these days based off of all the chatter in the community. Chad. Chad? Chad. What about Chad? That's your son's name. Oh, God. I'm actually trying to figure that out with my mom. She's been sending me just the most wackadoodle emails with Chinese names.
But I got to. I don't know enough Chinese to get the name right. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And she just sends me an email with just, it's just a paragraph, but it's so long. It's so long.
But I got to. I don't know enough Chinese to get the name right. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And she just sends me an email with just, it's just a paragraph, but it's so long. It's so long.
Yeah, we still want it to be tight. You want like a good first initial. True. Right. You have a good first initial. I have a great first initial. She was giving me all these terrible ideas that start with the letter Y. I was like, a Y dot? That's not going to work. Z dot could be cool. It's funny you say that. She has given me a Z dot. I was like, oh, that might work. An L dot. No?
Yeah, we still want it to be tight. You want like a good first initial. True. Right. You have a good first initial. I have a great first initial. She was giving me all these terrible ideas that start with the letter Y. I was like, a Y dot? That's not going to work. Z dot could be cool. It's funny you say that. She has given me a Z dot. I was like, oh, that might work. An L dot. No?
You don't like the L dot? I don't like the L dot. L dot's too weird. Really? Okay.
You don't like the L dot? I don't like the L dot. L dot's too weird. Really? Okay.
A Z dot's really, you don't see that a lot.
A Z dot's really, you don't see that a lot.
It's like, yo, that's my son, Z1000.
It's like, yo, that's my son, Z1000.
Dude, I once went to Vermont on a ski trip, and I was staying at the Stowe... Whatever is a nice hotel on that place in Stowe, like right on the mountain. And... My ex at the time, or my girlfriend at the time, who's obviously now my ex, we went there together and she had to go pay for something at the gift shop. And she was like, oh, can you put it on our room?
Dude, I once went to Vermont on a ski trip, and I was staying at the Stowe... Whatever is a nice hotel on that place in Stowe, like right on the mountain. And... My ex at the time, or my girlfriend at the time, who's obviously now my ex, we went there together and she had to go pay for something at the gift shop. And she was like, oh, can you put it on our room?
And the person behind the register was like, oh, room 1713. He looks at my name, he goes, KU0? It's like, wow.
And the person behind the register was like, oh, room 1713. He looks at my name, he goes, KU0? It's like, wow.
would why would why would any name ever have a zero in it that doesn't make any sense i love that story um this person in stowe obviously was probably very very white had never seen a last name like mine was probably very confused like i just have to assume that you know you're dating someone that is a robot because otherwise this name would make no sense
would why would why would any name ever have a zero in it that doesn't make any sense i love that story um this person in stowe obviously was probably very very white had never seen a last name like mine was probably very confused like i just have to assume that you know you're dating someone that is a robot because otherwise this name would make no sense
Yeah. No, I like that. I mean, you don't think it's even a little bit self-congratulatory at all?
Yeah. No, I like that. I mean, you don't think it's even a little bit self-congratulatory at all?
Shit, dude. Don't get that. They have this weird sticky rice bowl thing. Don't get that. You'll be really disappointed. Do you know what the hack is if you're trying to be lean? Get the omelet with the salad.
Shit, dude. Don't get that. They have this weird sticky rice bowl thing. Don't get that. You'll be really disappointed. Do you know what the hack is if you're trying to be lean? Get the omelet with the salad.
Yeah, that's the obvious hack. High protein salad.
Yeah, that's the obvious hack. High protein salad.
Where'd you guys go for that?
Where'd you guys go for that?
Okay, yeah. That's all the same type of restaurant, by the way. Yeah, it's like old people restaurants. Yeah, like sort of a fake French bistro, sort of pan continental.
Okay, yeah. That's all the same type of restaurant, by the way. Yeah, it's like old people restaurants. Yeah, like sort of a fake French bistro, sort of pan continental.
Yeah, who's going to Sweetgreen? You love Sweetgreen.
Yeah, who's going to Sweetgreen? You love Sweetgreen.
I know you don't love Sweetgreen. I refuse to go to a Sweetgreen. I don't think you've ever even stepped foot in one before. No, I used to for a bit. Oh. And then I was like, this is fucking shit. You're like, wow, I want to spend $30 on a pile of kale.
I know you don't love Sweetgreen. I refuse to go to a Sweetgreen. I don't think you've ever even stepped foot in one before. No, I used to for a bit. Oh. And then I was like, this is fucking shit. You're like, wow, I want to spend $30 on a pile of kale.
She's terrifying. She's a real legend. She is a real legend.
She's terrifying. She's a real legend. She is a real legend.
All right. Well, have fun. Okay. I'll see you next week. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.
All right. Well, have fun. Okay. I'll see you next week. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Well, that's why I haven't really sent the article to people other than people.
Well, that's why I haven't really sent the article to people other than people.
It's just weird, right? It's like, hey, guys, by the way, FYI, what's good?
It's just weird, right? It's like, hey, guys, by the way, FYI, what's good?
By the way, it makes you think that she was the one who wanted it. You literally told me. Well, actually, funnily, I don't even think I had thought about it. I was actually the one who was like, oh, maybe we should do this. Does that blow your mind? No, you threw her under the bus. Well, now I'm coming clean and I'm letting people know.
By the way, it makes you think that she was the one who wanted it. You literally told me. Well, actually, funnily, I don't even think I had thought about it. I was actually the one who was like, oh, maybe we should do this. Does that blow your mind? No, you threw her under the bus. Well, now I'm coming clean and I'm letting people know.
No.
No.
First of all, just one of two homes. Just want to be crystal clear that I still obviously maintain a residence in the city. I'm still a city dweller. But every single podcast we do, you are upstate. Well, I mean, I'm on baby mode right now. Like, I can't leave this immediate premises because the baby could arrive at any time. So it's really the baby's fault, not mine.
First of all, just one of two homes. Just want to be crystal clear that I still obviously maintain a residence in the city. I'm still a city dweller. But every single podcast we do, you are upstate. Well, I mean, I'm on baby mode right now. Like, I can't leave this immediate premises because the baby could arrive at any time. So it's really the baby's fault, not mine.
That's a lie. That is a lie.
That's a lie. That is a lie.
We don't need receipts. I can just say that.
We don't need receipts. I can just say that.
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
Yeah. No, it's funny. The lady who wrote it, Sada Bahasan, who, you know, shout out front of the pod, who wrote the article, said, No, she actually asked me that question. I think this will get really corny. But as someone who didn't move to New York until in my mid-20s from a small town in Midwest, I was like, oh, having a love story that's in the Times feels like such an anomaly.
Yeah. No, it's funny. The lady who wrote it, Sada Bahasan, who, you know, shout out front of the pod, who wrote the article, said, No, she actually asked me that question. I think this will get really corny. But as someone who didn't move to New York until in my mid-20s from a small town in Midwest, I was like, oh, having a love story that's in the Times feels like such an anomaly.
It's such a big city. Isn't it crazy that you'd actually happen to find a person that you'd want to get married to and have a great story? And I was like, oh, that'd be nice if that could be um that was like the dream of a 25 year old um romantic and apparently at 42 still romantic so there you go apparently apparently did did you worry at all about how you were perceived
It's such a big city. Isn't it crazy that you'd actually happen to find a person that you'd want to get married to and have a great story? And I was like, oh, that'd be nice if that could be um that was like the dream of a 25 year old um romantic and apparently at 42 still romantic so there you go apparently apparently did did you worry at all about how you were perceived
Yeah, but I think you just got to let that go, man. It's no big deal, dude. I don't know. You talk to a lot of people in the press. Do you manage yourself? You're like, fuck it. I'm just going to be me. Because that's what I did.
Yeah, but I think you just got to let that go, man. It's no big deal, dude. I don't know. You talk to a lot of people in the press. Do you manage yourself? You're like, fuck it. I'm just going to be me. Because that's what I did.
I love it.
I love it.
Well, the problem is now you're like a father and a husband. You're the least important person in your family. You get the least amount of attention.
Well, the problem is now you're like a father and a husband. You're the least important person in your family. You get the least amount of attention.
Maybe. Yeah, that's true. You're a fun dad, I assume.
Maybe. Yeah, that's true. You're a fun dad, I assume.
Well, I was going to ask, so are you not going to do avows for your wedding then? I don't think I'll do avows. I'm kind of a private guy. You are a private guy. I'm kind of a private guy. Yeah. Are you also just worried that you wouldn't get the same Sunday paper treatment that I got and that would just be embarrassing to you?
Well, I was going to ask, so are you not going to do avows for your wedding then? I don't think I'll do avows. I'm kind of a private guy. You are a private guy. I'm kind of a private guy. Yeah. Are you also just worried that you wouldn't get the same Sunday paper treatment that I got and that would just be embarrassing to you?
Well, I think now they may mention me in yours if you And a little callback, a little link back? Yeah, potentially. But yeah, look, feel free to ride my coattails. I'm happy to plug you in with the people there. Obviously, you know the editor and the writers. Feel free. Just let me know. Let me know what's good.
Well, I think now they may mention me in yours if you And a little callback, a little link back? Yeah, potentially. But yeah, look, feel free to ride my coattails. I'm happy to plug you in with the people there. Obviously, you know the editor and the writers. Feel free. Just let me know. Let me know what's good.
Yeah, you are a simp. I've always said that about you.
Yeah, you are a simp. I've always said that about you.
yes yeah that's true it's um you've definitely done it in a very specific order of baby first then marriage and then the ring i've quite not ever seen that order ever like i did love um when you send the invites out for the wedding which by the way you didn't send to me which i thought was very fucked up and i'm still a little salty about it i let karina handle it and she's not doing a good job
yes yeah that's true it's um you've definitely done it in a very specific order of baby first then marriage and then the ring i've quite not ever seen that order ever like i did love um when you send the invites out for the wedding which by the way you didn't send to me which i thought was very fucked up and i'm still a little salty about it i let karina handle it and she's not doing a good job
He's not producing it well is what you're saying.
He's not producing it well is what you're saying.
It shouldn't be hard. All I'm saying is I never received a wedding invitation before someone had proposed and had the ring. That was a new order that I had not seen. Very you. Very inverted, but it was great. Very excited for you, obviously. We're coming, obviously, to Egypt.
It shouldn't be hard. All I'm saying is I never received a wedding invitation before someone had proposed and had the ring. That was a new order that I had not seen. Very you. Very inverted, but it was great. Very excited for you, obviously. We're coming, obviously, to Egypt.
Well, to be crystal clear, this is a home birth.
Well, to be crystal clear, this is a home birth.
Right. A one-sided fight. It was a one-sided fight.
Right. A one-sided fight. It was a one-sided fight.
And you won, I guess, is the way you would phrase it.
And you won, I guess, is the way you would phrase it.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, that makes sense.
Okay, that makes sense.
They titted first, okay.
They titted first, okay.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, I like that.
So yeah, look, that'll be exciting for you. Maybe you won't get quite the press that I got. As you know, I'm a press magnet. By the way, FYI, I'm up to like 250 followers on my Instagram. Are we going to do this in every episode? I'm just saying that from an audience growth perspective, this has been one of the most successful weeks of my life.
So yeah, look, that'll be exciting for you. Maybe you won't get quite the press that I got. As you know, I'm a press magnet. By the way, FYI, I'm up to like 250 followers on my Instagram. Are we going to do this in every episode? I'm just saying that from an audience growth perspective, this has been one of the most successful weeks of my life.
I've literally gained, I think, 50 followers in the last seven days. It's been absolutely crazy.
I've literally gained, I think, 50 followers in the last seven days. It's been absolutely crazy.
It might be. It really might be. I should probably get married next week again just to keep on building the audience. It's been very effective for me.
It might be. It really might be. I should probably get married next week again just to keep on building the audience. It's been very effective for me.
Is that bad? Again, is this bad behavior? Is that not good social protocol? Do I have to follow? Okay, so I have to go through and actually see who's followed me and then see if I know them and then follow them back.
Is that bad? Again, is this bad behavior? Is that not good social protocol? Do I have to follow? Okay, so I have to go through and actually see who's followed me and then see if I know them and then follow them back.
Do you have a tub in Manhattan? No, I don't actually. I have a stand-up shower. Okay, okay. So, you know, you get what I'm saying.
Do you have a tub in Manhattan? No, I don't actually. I have a stand-up shower. Okay, okay. So, you know, you get what I'm saying.
It's everything in one.
It's everything in one.
And that's where you know if friendships are real or not. And I really apologize for that, Dale. I would never want you to feel that way at all. I apologize. I'll go through and do that right after this recording.
And that's where you know if friendships are real or not. And I really apologize for that, Dale. I would never want you to feel that way at all. I apologize. I'll go through and do that right after this recording.
Yeah, Andrew, yours is a little weird too. Yeah, but I couldn't find, I couldn't get my name. Someone else had already taken my name, which I thought was really unfair.
Yeah, Andrew, yours is a little weird too. Yeah, but I couldn't find, I couldn't get my name. Someone else had already taken my name, which I thought was really unfair.
Yeah, but there's only one that's really my friend slash nemesis because he gets all the shout outs.
Yeah, but there's only one that's really my friend slash nemesis because he gets all the shout outs.
You're right, you're right. By the way, I will say, according to the New York Times, I do live in two residences. Oh, let's talk about that, New York Times. That's what the article said, so you can't fight with the press. That's the truth.
You're right, you're right. By the way, I will say, according to the New York Times, I do live in two residences. Oh, let's talk about that, New York Times. That's what the article said, so you can't fight with the press. That's the truth.
Which one? Me or the other one?
Which one? Me or the other one?
100%?
100%?
I know I could have used my phone, but, you know, as a millennial, some things must be done on the laptop.
I know I could have used my phone, but, you know, as a millennial, some things must be done on the laptop.
No, you know this. Don't pretend you're like any better than anyone else. You know that millennials, some things must be done on a laptop. Like, for example, in my opinion, like renting a hotel room that you care about. You have to do it. You want to look at the big photos. You want to sit. You want to read the description. You want to compare pricing.
No, you know this. Don't pretend you're like any better than anyone else. You know that millennials, some things must be done on a laptop. Like, for example, in my opinion, like renting a hotel room that you care about. You have to do it. You want to look at the big photos. You want to sit. You want to read the description. You want to compare pricing.
You can do that on an iPhone, but it's not pleasant.
You can do that on an iPhone, but it's not pleasant.
yeah people like like there is a whole thing about how millennials like if you do if you're doing something important buying airplane tickets i i think if i'm buying a ticket just for myself no problem delta app boom book flight it's fine but if i'm buying more than one ticket It's like I'm going I want to sit down.
yeah people like like there is a whole thing about how millennials like if you do if you're doing something important buying airplane tickets i i think if i'm buying a ticket just for myself no problem delta app boom book flight it's fine but if i'm buying more than one ticket It's like I'm going I want to sit down.
It's like it's like I think it's like a nostalgic feeling of like when you go used to go sit at your parents computer and make your big purchase or something. I don't know.
It's like it's like I think it's like a nostalgic feeling of like when you go used to go sit at your parents computer and make your big purchase or something. I don't know.
So you keep that thing on you, the second screen, you keep that thing on you so you can snipe. You can snipe out who's posting.
So you keep that thing on you, the second screen, you keep that thing on you so you can snipe. You can snipe out who's posting.
That's so tight. I'm not going to lie. That would have gone a long way for me many times. Yeah. Because I get easily duped
That's so tight. I'm not going to lie. That would have gone a long way for me many times. Yeah. Because I get easily duped
it's not new it's the oldest sandals in the world oh maybe this is what you're in montego bay or were you in like yeah okay yeah i think they built another one on the other side of the island that maybe that's what i saw if i would have looked if i would have looked at the instagrams it would have been like fat dudes posting about like guns and and deer and confederate flags and
it's not new it's the oldest sandals in the world oh maybe this is what you're in montego bay or were you in like yeah okay yeah i think they built another one on the other side of the island that maybe that's what i saw if i would have looked if i would have looked at the instagrams it would have been like fat dudes posting about like guns and and deer and confederate flags and
and i would have been like oh that's just posting from there right and i assume you had a couple of pink guys pink skin guys from the uk there were several no no but not uk pink skins it was all american pink skins okay yeah that's always rough when you walk in and the purple nose boys i love the purple nose boys they're increasingly increasingly rare and i don't know if it's because we live in new york but
and i would have been like oh that's just posting from there right and i assume you had a couple of pink guys pink skin guys from the uk there were several no no but not uk pink skins it was all american pink skins okay yeah that's always rough when you walk in and the purple nose boys i love the purple nose boys they're increasingly increasingly rare and i don't know if it's because we live in new york but
You know, like a guy that just drinks so much alcohol, his nose is purple.
You know, like a guy that just drinks so much alcohol, his nose is purple.
But that bulbous, I'm talking about the bulbous.
But that bulbous, I'm talking about the bulbous.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to start considering that, that extra layer of diligence when booking. Yeah. But yeah, you get my point. So I was, I was, I was happy that I had my laptop. I could have done everything this week. Probably it would have been fine. You know, I've gone many days without the laptop and this is actually something I learned from, from Karina, uh, She's very phoned.
I'm going to have to start considering that, that extra layer of diligence when booking. Yeah. But yeah, you get my point. So I was, I was, I was happy that I had my laptop. I could have done everything this week. Probably it would have been fine. You know, I've gone many days without the laptop and this is actually something I learned from, from Karina, uh, She's very phoned.
Like, she would work on her phone only. Like, she didn't really have a laptop. And I was like, how are you doing that? And so I started doing it. And I was like, oh, this is great. You know, like, I don't really use my laptop that much. But for certain things, I like to use it.
Like, she would work on her phone only. Like, she didn't really have a laptop. And I was like, how are you doing that? And so I started doing it. And I was like, oh, this is great. You know, like, I don't really use my laptop that much. But for certain things, I like to use it.
Wow. Yeah, I mean, Karina, I gave her my old laptop. And she doesn't use it. But she does have one. But technically...
Wow. Yeah, I mean, Karina, I gave her my old laptop. And she doesn't use it. But she does have one. But technically...
it was a hand-me-down i don't know i i think because i don't know they're not businessmen like us maybe yeah we're like korean businessmen we're always hustling always on the grind and they are not korean businessmen by any means no no no it's funny she's like i got i'm going to do a little bit of work right now and then she'll go sit on my couch and she's on her phone i'm like oh okay it's kind of tight though
it was a hand-me-down i don't know i i think because i don't know they're not businessmen like us maybe yeah we're like korean businessmen we're always hustling always on the grind and they are not korean businessmen by any means no no no it's funny she's like i got i'm going to do a little bit of work right now and then she'll go sit on my couch and she's on her phone i'm like oh okay it's kind of tight though
How can she do work on her phone when she's designing? I think it's... Doesn't she need CAD? Doesn't she need AutoCAD?
How can she do work on her phone when she's designing? I think it's... Doesn't she need CAD? Doesn't she need AutoCAD?
I mean, there's a lot of things that are sad about it, but what in particular? I didn't even look at Like, you know, like the watercolor thing? Yeah. It just looks like... it just looks like a graphic that they provided. That's amazing. That's so sad.
I mean, there's a lot of things that are sad about it, but what in particular? I didn't even look at Like, you know, like the watercolor thing? Yeah. It just looks like... it just looks like a graphic that they provided. That's amazing. That's so sad.
Yeah. I am looking at it right now. I pulled it up, but it legitimately looks like she was on paperless post.com and they were like, Oh, here's an option with like a tree. And she was like, cool, I'll pick that one.
Yeah. I am looking at it right now. I pulled it up, but it legitimately looks like she was on paperless post.com and they were like, Oh, here's an option with like a tree. And she was like, cool, I'll pick that one.
Well, it was done on her phone, so I guess I don't feel that bad.
Well, it was done on her phone, so I guess I don't feel that bad.
I mean, that's cool.
I mean, that's cool.
That's cool that she was able to do that. No, she got mad skills. Wait, so let's talk about that ASAP Ferg episode that everyone just listened to. I'm sure people have. It was nice to catch up, but I think people are here to hear about the damn podcast. Yeah.
That's cool that she was able to do that. No, she got mad skills. Wait, so let's talk about that ASAP Ferg episode that everyone just listened to. I'm sure people have. It was nice to catch up, but I think people are here to hear about the damn podcast. Yeah.
It was fun. It was a fun day. It was me, Anthony, those who will not be named, and Rami. Okay. And I think they, yeah. And they wanted us. So I don't remember what month this was. It was a while ago, but they wanted to meet uptown at Harlem, which makes sense. They sat for the whole gang or Harlem boys, all the ASAP mob is. And so I was like, dude, it was like at like 11 AM or something.
It was fun. It was a fun day. It was me, Anthony, those who will not be named, and Rami. Okay. And I think they, yeah. And they wanted us. So I don't remember what month this was. It was a while ago, but they wanted to meet uptown at Harlem, which makes sense. They sat for the whole gang or Harlem boys, all the ASAP mob is. And so I was like, dude, it was like at like 11 AM or something.
So we took an Uber XL, which I like, you know, I was like, you know, we deserve an Uber XL. Yeah. I get that. Cause I here's the, here's the other thing.
So we took an Uber XL, which I like, you know, I was like, you know, we deserve an Uber XL. Yeah. I get that. Cause I here's the, here's the other thing.
about interviewing all this big talent is they're always showing up in uber xls and and i'm like well i'm also the talent i'm arguably as important as them so why am i not showing up in uber xls i also had four people in tow but it is it is funny that like once you get the uber xl you're like i have to you know i love taking the uber xl so we took the uber xl up to harlem
about interviewing all this big talent is they're always showing up in uber xls and and i'm like well i'm also the talent i'm arguably as important as them so why am i not showing up in uber xls i also had four people in tow but it is it is funny that like once you get the uber xl you're like i have to you know i love taking the uber xl so we took the uber xl up to harlem
And met on like a hundred and I don't remember it. Let me check the emails. I can check the emails. Oh, nice. Let's see here.
And met on like a hundred and I don't remember it. Let me check the emails. I can check the emails. Oh, nice. Let's see here.
Just type in Ferg.
Just type in Ferg.
I'm just using, I'm just typing in Ferg. Is that short for Ferguson, by the way? I think it is.
I'm just using, I'm just typing in Ferg. Is that short for Ferguson, by the way? I think it is.
It doesn't say where it was happening. I mean, I could find it, but I don't want to hold people up. By the way, that's also crazy. That's so hot to be wearing cowboy boots. Well, that's the thing. He had his uncle with him, who was dope. He was really swagged out. And then he also had his cousin with him, who was also swagged out. So it was a lot of swaggy magic.
It doesn't say where it was happening. I mean, I could find it, but I don't want to hold people up. By the way, that's also crazy. That's so hot to be wearing cowboy boots. Well, that's the thing. He had his uncle with him, who was dope. He was really swagged out. And then he also had his cousin with him, who was also swagged out. So it was a lot of swaggy magic.
And then there was also his assistant. I forgot her name. Dude, this is too far away. I mean, it's September, October, November, December, January, February. Six months ago, so don't blame me. And he was really, really funny. It was a really easy episode to shoot. Usually it's a little difficult. But, you know, we got lucky in a number of ways. One, he was on time. I consider that luck.
And then there was also his assistant. I forgot her name. Dude, this is too far away. I mean, it's September, October, November, December, January, February. Six months ago, so don't blame me. And he was really, really funny. It was a really easy episode to shoot. Usually it's a little difficult. But, you know, we got lucky in a number of ways. One, he was on time. I consider that luck.
when you're working with talent because most of the time they are not on time uh and i'm you know people have been literally an hour late plus and the ones that go plus i i leave i just say i'm not doing this yeah it's rude and an hour is the most i'm willing to give to a major celebrity but if it's more than an hour i'm i'm sorry tough luck we were lucky because he was on time
when you're working with talent because most of the time they are not on time uh and i'm you know people have been literally an hour late plus and the ones that go plus i i leave i just say i'm not doing this yeah it's rude and an hour is the most i'm willing to give to a major celebrity but if it's more than an hour i'm i'm sorry tough luck we were lucky because he was on time
there was really good air conditioning on the train oh that's so nice yeah really good really good air conditioning on the train and it just wasn't busy it was just very it was a great shoot because we got on the train uptown and we just rode it downtown for like legitimately 45 minutes and we just kept going Just like we didn't have to get off. It never got full.
there was really good air conditioning on the train oh that's so nice yeah really good really good air conditioning on the train and it just wasn't busy it was just very it was a great shoot because we got on the train uptown and we just rode it downtown for like legitimately 45 minutes and we just kept going Just like we didn't have to get off. It never got full.
I don't remember what train that was, but it was fucking magical. I mean, it was like a weird train. Like it's probably the one, right?
I don't remember what train that was, but it was fucking magical. I mean, it was like a weird train. Like it's probably the one, right?
Well, brother, here's the thing about me. The facts.
Well, brother, here's the thing about me. The facts.
Oh, really? There's a world where maybe we wanted short episodes. I don't remember. There's two things that could be possible. One is that we record it for 45 minutes and cut it down to 12 minutes. Right. Right. Possible. Because we want it to. Right. Or we record it for 20 minutes and we cut it down to 12 minutes.
Oh, really? There's a world where maybe we wanted short episodes. I don't remember. There's two things that could be possible. One is that we record it for 45 minutes and cut it down to 12 minutes. Right. Right. Possible. Because we want it to. Right. Or we record it for 20 minutes and we cut it down to 12 minutes.
Yeah, people, you know, people have known, people have, are, are known to consider me someone who exaggerates or is just a little loose with the timeline. But I, I just don't know. I'm just assuming in my mind we shot for 45 minutes, but we may have not shot for 45 minutes. Have you spoken to Ferg since? I have not spoken to Ferg since, but what was, oh, let's see here. What's the word here?
Yeah, people, you know, people have known, people have, are, are known to consider me someone who exaggerates or is just a little loose with the timeline. But I, I just don't know. I'm just assuming in my mind we shot for 45 minutes, but we may have not shot for 45 minutes. Have you spoken to Ferg since? I have not spoken to Ferg since, but what was, oh, let's see here. What's the word here?
What are you guys shooting? Yeah. I don't know. I'm still looking, but I can't find it. What was the question?
What are you guys shooting? Yeah. I don't know. I'm still looking, but I can't find it. What was the question?
Oh, that's nice. But I forgot his cousin's name.
Oh, that's nice. But I forgot his cousin's name.
yeah it's in the episode dude this is i mean what am i supposed to do it's like this is so far away yeah i think gmail stops letting you search by the way that's a challenge with mobile gmail on mobile you can only go back so far in your emails you have to be on your desktop and i learned that too by the way right you need to have a computer if you're an adult doing business yeah i agree with that we should have gotten hyundai genesis's
yeah it's in the episode dude this is i mean what am i supposed to do it's like this is so far away yeah i think gmail stops letting you search by the way that's a challenge with mobile gmail on mobile you can only go back so far in your emails you have to be on your desktop and i learned that too by the way right you need to have a computer if you're an adult doing business yeah i agree with that we should have gotten hyundai genesis's
They are Genesises. Yeah. Yeah. We need to get Genesises. Anyways, yeah, the episode was great. Ferg is tight. He's funny. He's really funny. And, you know, I think it comes through in the episode. No, I love the episode.
They are Genesises. Yeah. Yeah. We need to get Genesises. Anyways, yeah, the episode was great. Ferg is tight. He's funny. He's really funny. And, you know, I think it comes through in the episode. No, I love the episode.
What was his take again?
What was his take again?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Not just that Tyler Perry type shit. Yeah. So my cats, I get a daily update from my cat, from my cat sitter. Yeah. They have broken an expensive and nice, like, fruit bowl.
Not just that Tyler Perry type shit. Yeah. So my cats, I get a daily update from my cat, from my cat sitter. Yeah. They have broken an expensive and nice, like, fruit bowl.
And they're uncontrollable. Yeah. Or, and I actually, you know what? They were probably mad that we're not home.
And they're uncontrollable. Yeah. Or, and I actually, you know what? They were probably mad that we're not home.
What are you doing for the rest of the day? Uh, today I'm going to go to the beach. Okay. You haven't been to the beach yet. I haven't been to the beach yet because the first day we got here, we got here at like 4 PM.
What are you doing for the rest of the day? Uh, today I'm going to go to the beach. Okay. You haven't been to the beach yet. I haven't been to the beach yet because the first day we got here, we got here at like 4 PM.
uh or 3 p.m and then yesterday it was partially cloudy actually it was pretty it was pretty cloudy cloudy and rainy all day but now the forecast is supposed to be great for the rest of our stay so i'll swing by the beach i'll swing by the beach i'll read that book that you gave me by that guy gay what's his name gay gay hendrix i actually don't know his name i think his name is gay hendrix
uh or 3 p.m and then yesterday it was partially cloudy actually it was pretty it was pretty cloudy cloudy and rainy all day but now the forecast is supposed to be great for the rest of our stay so i'll swing by the beach i'll swing by the beach i'll read that book that you gave me by that guy gay what's his name gay gay hendrix i actually don't know his name i think his name is gay hendrix
It's literally Gay Hendrix I'm looking at right now. That's amazing. Future Hendrix. Gay Hendrix.
It's literally Gay Hendrix I'm looking at right now. That's amazing. Future Hendrix. Gay Hendrix.
His name is literally Gay Hendrix. That's amazing. So I'm going to read the Gay Hendrix book that you gave me.
His name is literally Gay Hendrix. That's amazing. So I'm going to read the Gay Hendrix book that you gave me.
Abundance Mindset. I mean, I live it, so I'm curious to see if there's any lessons I'll learn. I'm sure there are lessons I will learn, but we'll see. You know me. I'm skeptical because I'm... I feel pretty aligned with my inner self and I know who I am really well. And I'm even the flaws in me. I know, like I'm like, I know what I am.
Abundance Mindset. I mean, I live it, so I'm curious to see if there's any lessons I'll learn. I'm sure there are lessons I will learn, but we'll see. You know me. I'm skeptical because I'm... I feel pretty aligned with my inner self and I know who I am really well. And I'm even the flaws in me. I know, like I'm like, I know what I am.
So sometimes I'm like, I don't need anyone to tell me who I am. Cause I already know, but I am going into it with an open mind as I do many things.
So sometimes I'm like, I don't need anyone to tell me who I am. Cause I already know, but I am going into it with an open mind as I do many things.
You know what I don't like about the book?
You know what I don't like about the book?
So bad. Uh, I do mind gay Hendricks.
So bad. Uh, I do mind gay Hendricks.
Yes. I think that's. And then I think that the goldfish, it looks like clip art. Yeah. It looks like a paperless post invitation. It looks like your wife painted it. So the cover art for the book is a goldfish jumping from a small bowl to a large bowl. And the saddest thing about both bowls is that there's literally no accoutrement.
Yes. I think that's. And then I think that the goldfish, it looks like clip art. Yeah. It looks like a paperless post invitation. It looks like your wife painted it. So the cover art for the book is a goldfish jumping from a small bowl to a large bowl. And the saddest thing about both bowls is that there's literally no accoutrement.
Yeah. Well, that's bad, but I think what's worse is that there's nothing... Here's the thing. Life is a bowl. There's no way to be free of the bowl, in my opinion. We live in a system. Okay. The only way to get out of the system is to truly... You're like, I'm opting out. I'm going to live off the land. I'm going to live in a hut and have a farm, and I'm just going to opt out.
Yeah. Well, that's bad, but I think what's worse is that there's nothing... Here's the thing. Life is a bowl. There's no way to be free of the bowl, in my opinion. We live in a system. Okay. The only way to get out of the system is to truly... You're like, I'm opting out. I'm going to live off the land. I'm going to live in a hut and have a farm, and I'm just going to opt out.
If there's, you know, you can make your bowl huge. You can be a guy that does, I'm independent TV. I'm an independent music artist. I don't care about labels, blah, blah, blah. Like you can make your bowl bigger, but you're still in a bowl of capitalism. And like, you have to have money. So,
If there's, you know, you can make your bowl huge. You can be a guy that does, I'm independent TV. I'm an independent music artist. I don't care about labels, blah, blah, blah. Like you can make your bowl bigger, but you're still in a bowl of capitalism. And like, you have to have money. So,
The thing that is sad, I mean, I don't mind the bulls because I'm jumping from one bull to another, but I want at least a little sand in my bull, maybe a little tree. A little house, a little sandcastle bull in the bull? Yeah, a little army man, a little army guy.
The thing that is sad, I mean, I don't mind the bulls because I'm jumping from one bull to another, but I want at least a little sand in my bull, maybe a little tree. A little house, a little sandcastle bull in the bull? Yeah, a little army man, a little army guy.
but like think about how much better the cover would be if he was jumping from a small empty bowl to a large bowl with accoutrement well yeah i mean that's like super fancy right i just don't know how you would fit all that on the cover of a book are you looking at the book i'm looking at the cover no i'm not i mean i know it by memory though because i i've seen it so many times why can't you fit it on the cover
but like think about how much better the cover would be if he was jumping from a small empty bowl to a large bowl with accoutrement well yeah i mean that's like super fancy right i just don't know how you would fit all that on the cover of a book are you looking at the book i'm looking at the cover no i'm not i mean i know it by memory though because i i've seen it so many times why can't you fit it on the cover
It's already on there, dude. It's already on there.
It's already on there, dude. It's already on there.
I want everything to remain exactly the same, except in the large bowl. I'd like the large bowl to be a little more welcoming and a proper step up. It's almost like you're moving from a small house to a big house, and both houses are empty.
I want everything to remain exactly the same, except in the large bowl. I'd like the large bowl to be a little more welcoming and a proper step up. It's almost like you're moving from a small house to a big house, and both houses are empty.
Yeah, it's like, what's the point?
Yeah, it's like, what's the point?
I might cold email him, take your strategy and cold email him. I love a cold email. The colder, the better. I'd be like, I really like your book, but I don't think it's cool that the fishbowl is empty.
I might cold email him, take your strategy and cold email him. I love a cold email. The colder, the better. I'd be like, I really like your book, but I don't think it's cool that the fishbowl is empty.
I don't think this goes on YouTube. I think this just goes on Spotify and Apple and such, right? This is a podcast-only special. And we're not calling this anything. This is just an accoutrement. It's the big bowl with dressing.
I don't think this goes on YouTube. I think this just goes on Spotify and Apple and such, right? This is a podcast-only special. And we're not calling this anything. This is just an accoutrement. It's the big bowl with dressing.
Oh, my God, dude.
Oh, my God, dude.
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Cloutremont is definitely my word. I'm not even crazy. I'm not being, I'm not being silly.
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Cloutremont is definitely my word. I'm not even crazy. I'm not being, I'm not being silly.
Be honest.
Be honest.
I'm not being silly. That's crazy.
I'm not being silly. That's crazy.
and per diem is my word too no i'll give you per diem although to be honest i start well i do all the i do all the budget so i start talking about per diems everyone's getting quite a bit as well actually yeah but you were you were talking about per diems not as a joke no yeah i was functionally discussing how we control our costs yes that's right and so yeah the per diem is mine and so is accoutrement anyways well we can we can find the first usage
and per diem is my word too no i'll give you per diem although to be honest i start well i do all the i do all the budget so i start talking about per diems everyone's getting quite a bit as well actually yeah but you were you were talking about per diems not as a joke no yeah i was functionally discussing how we control our costs yes that's right and so yeah the per diem is mine and so is accoutrement anyways well we can we can find the first usage
What the fuck were you talking about?
What the fuck were you talking about?
Well, this goes in... You mean it goes in the Ferg episode?
Well, this goes in... You mean it goes in the Ferg episode?
Disney, holler at your boy.
Disney, holler at your boy.
Yeah, just put a little logo there.
Yeah, just put a little logo there.
I guess so. Okay. Alright. So we don't have a name left?
I guess so. Okay. Alright. So we don't have a name left?
Okay, so it's for the heads. Let's let the heads... Anyway, I don't know. Let's let them discover it. Okay. Maybe you should introduce yourself. No one knows who you are.
Okay, so it's for the heads. Let's let the heads... Anyway, I don't know. Let's let them discover it. Okay. Maybe you should introduce yourself. No one knows who you are.
They're going to be like, who's this guy that Kareem's talking to?
They're going to be like, who's this guy that Kareem's talking to?
Andrew who? Well. steals my accoutrement crazy you're crazy that you would literally think that anyways i think this is great i think we're hanging out i think we're done i think i'm going to the beach what are you gonna do today i gotta figure out how i'm gonna i'm gonna do all these home renovations around the house That's fun.
Andrew who? Well. steals my accoutrement crazy you're crazy that you would literally think that anyways i think this is great i think we're hanging out i think we're done i think i'm going to the beach what are you gonna do today i gotta figure out how i'm gonna i'm gonna do all these home renovations around the house That's fun.
By the way, I think that this Riverside is working well because right now it says that there's 992 out of 996 megabytes have been uploaded to the cloud.
By the way, I think that this Riverside is working well because right now it says that there's 992 out of 996 megabytes have been uploaded to the cloud.
So I think it's real-time uploading. It's 99% uploaded. Yeah.
So I think it's real-time uploading. It's 99% uploaded. Yeah.
So anyways, I guess we'll see You, dear listener, the next time we have a short episode, Subway takes on cut.
So anyways, I guess we'll see You, dear listener, the next time we have a short episode, Subway takes on cut.
More eggs. which are expensive now. So that's nice. Eggs are so expensive. Dude, eggs are literally, they literally are expensive.
More eggs. which are expensive now. So that's nice. Eggs are so expensive. Dude, eggs are literally, they literally are expensive.
They're $10. For one egg? No, for like 12 eggs. Okay, right. Yeah, that makes more sense. But they used to be like $3. Oh, then that's too much. I mean, do you not look at the price of eggs? I don't think about it that much. Wow.
They're $10. For one egg? No, for like 12 eggs. Okay, right. Yeah, that makes more sense. But they used to be like $3. Oh, then that's too much. I mean, do you not look at the price of eggs? I don't think about it that much. Wow.
Let me know.
Let me know.
I've been doing every time he does. Every time he sends APB, I do it. I love it. I don't know if it's worked out well for me, but. He's so conservative. He is really conservative. He's a bit conservative. I'm more of a big swings kind of guy.
I've been doing every time he does. Every time he sends APB, I do it. I love it. I don't know if it's worked out well for me, but. He's so conservative. He is really conservative. He's a bit conservative. I'm more of a big swings kind of guy.
I don't think we can talk about that. That's for another episode.
I don't think we can talk about that. That's for another episode.
I think this is it. This is the end.
I think this is it. This is the end.
Thank you. Okay.
Thank you. Okay.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, shout out to Tyler McCullough for the music. It's pretty good. I love it. He's a man. He's a great guy. Great guy. All right. He's a man. Okay. Okay, bye. Okay, bye.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, shout out to Tyler McCullough for the music. It's pretty good. I love it. He's a man. He's a great guy. Great guy. All right. He's a man. Okay. Okay, bye. Okay, bye.
We lost divinity.
We lost divinity.
Your safety is important to us. Please stand away from the platform edge.
Your safety is important to us. Please stand away from the platform edge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you want to be a vegan?
But you want to be a vegan?
I mean, life is a lot different. You know, I have to prioritize new things now.
I mean, life is a lot different. You know, I have to prioritize new things now.
That's exactly right. That's the definition of hanging out for me.
That's exactly right. That's the definition of hanging out for me.
Except for the animal fucking. Okay, alright.
Except for the animal fucking. Okay, alright.
Here we go.
Here we go.
I only see the numbers counting down on your screen. But it does say it's recording. Yeah, we're recording, I think. This is the inaugural episode of Third Rail. Well, we don't know what this is yet.
I only see the numbers counting down on your screen. But it does say it's recording. Yeah, we're recording, I think. This is the inaugural episode of Third Rail. Well, we don't know what this is yet.
Okay, so we don't know what this is, but it's something that people will be listening to. This is the first time anyone has ever
Okay, so we don't know what this is, but it's something that people will be listening to. This is the first time anyone has ever
I think we're doing a pretty good job. I'm in Miami right now. Yeah, how is it? It's great.
I think we're doing a pretty good job. I'm in Miami right now. Yeah, how is it? It's great.
I mean, the weather's wonderful. I have a beautiful view of the beach, which I haven't seen in a long time. And the laptop that I'm recording on right now was just shipped to me via UPS for $350, which I think is actually a pretty good deal because I forgot my laptop earlier.
I mean, the weather's wonderful. I have a beautiful view of the beach, which I haven't seen in a long time. And the laptop that I'm recording on right now was just shipped to me via UPS for $350, which I think is actually a pretty good deal because I forgot my laptop earlier.
on my counter before i left the house on saturday i think it's just amazing that you can ship something across country in like two days actually it's not even across country it's down country it's down country yeah how much would the shipping have to be to where you're just like it i'll just buy a new laptop i mean i guess it's the same whatever the price of the laptop is a thousand dollars i guess
on my counter before i left the house on saturday i think it's just amazing that you can ship something across country in like two days actually it's not even across country it's down country it's down country yeah how much would the shipping have to be to where you're just like it i'll just buy a new laptop i mean i guess it's the same whatever the price of the laptop is a thousand dollars i guess
I guess that's a bad laptop. I mean, part of me considered going to Best Buy and buying one of those little weird laptops. Like an HP.
I guess that's a bad laptop. I mean, part of me considered going to Best Buy and buying one of those little weird laptops. Like an HP.
It is literally a plane ticket.
It is literally a plane ticket.
It's pretty much like an airplane ticket for... my computer who flew in some sort of airplane. Yeah. I mean, there's no way that the laptop was driven to Miami.
It's pretty much like an airplane ticket for... my computer who flew in some sort of airplane. Yeah. I mean, there's no way that the laptop was driven to Miami.
He flew in an airplane. Why is it a key? Because it's my boy, my, my son. Wait, but that is really funny because my original idea, like right when I landed and actually right when I got to the airport in New York, which is where I realized that I didn't have my personal belongings. I was like, okay, I can just buy an iPad and just, and just use that for the week.
He flew in an airplane. Why is it a key? Because it's my boy, my, my son. Wait, but that is really funny because my original idea, like right when I landed and actually right when I got to the airport in New York, which is where I realized that I didn't have my personal belongings. I was like, okay, I can just buy an iPad and just, and just use that for the week.
But then I was like, I already have an iPad and I've had iPads my whole, like since iPads came out, I've never used iPads. for anything except for snorting coke and playing spotify and now watching my baby on the baby monitor so i was like I don't do the cocaine anymore, so there's not really a point of having two iPads.
But then I was like, I already have an iPad and I've had iPads my whole, like since iPads came out, I've never used iPads. for anything except for snorting coke and playing spotify and now watching my baby on the baby monitor so i was like I don't do the cocaine anymore, so there's not really a point of having two iPads.
I know, but now I just use the Spotify on my phone. I don't need an iPad on the table because the iPad was nice for controlling Spotify and doing lines off of it.
I know, but now I just use the Spotify on my phone. I don't need an iPad on the table because the iPad was nice for controlling Spotify and doing lines off of it.
the ipad that was playing the music but i don't think i want to do that with the ipad that is i'm watching my child is that was that the ipad mini that feels like that's not really enough surface area depending on the pile of cocaine i feel like no i had the regular ipad okay that makes sense it was at my first apartment in manhattan but yeah i think that you're about right though it's probably like
the ipad that was playing the music but i don't think i want to do that with the ipad that is i'm watching my child is that was that the ipad mini that feels like that's not really enough surface area depending on the pile of cocaine i feel like no i had the regular ipad okay that makes sense it was at my first apartment in manhattan but yeah i think that you're about right though it's probably like
I think it would have had to have been like, yeah, $650, $700, maybe $800 is when you go, all right, you know, we got to figure something out here.
I think it would have had to have been like, yeah, $650, $700, maybe $800 is when you go, all right, you know, we got to figure something out here.
I mean, I just got here this morning, and I was more so relieved because I don't, I mean, here's the thing. I have everything in the cloud. Like, there's zero litter left.
I mean, I just got here this morning, and I was more so relieved because I don't, I mean, here's the thing. I have everything in the cloud. Like, there's zero litter left.
on my desktop it's uncluttered there's not a single piece of litter on my desktop everything is in the cloud so this laptop could fall off a building and i just replace it doesn't matter to me i learned a long time ago how powerful it is to have everything in the cloud then why do you need the laptop in the first place why you just because i don't have a i don't have a device you have a phone
on my desktop it's uncluttered there's not a single piece of litter on my desktop everything is in the cloud so this laptop could fall off a building and i just replace it doesn't matter to me i learned a long time ago how powerful it is to have everything in the cloud then why do you need the laptop in the first place why you just because i don't have a i don't have a device you have a phone
We know how important it is to stay on top of the news. But let's be honest, sometimes it can be a lot to take in. That's why you should check out 5 Good Things. Every Saturday, we highlight the good stuff happening around the world. Because there's plenty of it, I promise. Hear 5 Good Things on Saturday mornings, wherever you get your podcasts.
We know how important it is to stay on top of the news. But let's be honest, sometimes it can be a lot to take in. That's why you should check out 5 Good Things. Every Saturday, we highlight the good stuff happening around the world. Because there's plenty of it, I promise. Hear 5 Good Things on Saturday mornings, wherever you get your podcasts.
Right.
Right.
Yeah, well, Dale's a cool guy.
Yeah, well, Dale's a cool guy.
A crop tee, if you can pull it off as a man, is extremely slutty. It's one of the sluttiest looks you can have as a man.
A crop tee, if you can pull it off as a man, is extremely slutty. It's one of the sluttiest looks you can have as a man.
It's a wife lover.
It's a wife lover.
Actually, dumb question. What's a muscle shirt?
Actually, dumb question. What's a muscle shirt?
Okay, right on. But is it cut so that it goes deep so you can kind of see the rib?
Okay, right on. But is it cut so that it goes deep so you can kind of see the rib?
Yeah. Look, I jumped headfirst in. I did, as you may recall, I did hit up you and Hasan, front of the pod, Hasan Ali Khan, on our group thread to get feedback on what my username was going to be.
Yeah. Look, I jumped headfirst in. I did, as you may recall, I did hit up you and Hasan, front of the pod, Hasan Ali Khan, on our group thread to get feedback on what my username was going to be.
Yeah, the deep hole. Everyone loves a deep hole.
Yeah, the deep hole. Everyone loves a deep hole.
Yeah, it's like, oh, fuck these sleeves, man.
Yeah, it's like, oh, fuck these sleeves, man.
Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That's definitely attitude for sure. I get that.
Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That's definitely attitude for sure. I get that.
By the way, on this tattoo thing, I haven't gotten the latest on your tattoo removal journey. Are you taking all of them off or just a handful? Are you going full Pete Davidson, spending like 200 racks, just taking them all off? What are you doing? What's the plan?
By the way, on this tattoo thing, I haven't gotten the latest on your tattoo removal journey. Are you taking all of them off or just a handful? Are you going full Pete Davidson, spending like 200 racks, just taking them all off? What are you doing? What's the plan?
What's the S then? What's the S at the end?
What's the S then? What's the S at the end?
That's only IC is what you just said.
That's only IC is what you just said.
Oh, very specific, actually.
Oh, very specific, actually.
Oh, so you didn't even give him clear guidance. There were no comps. No. Oh, wow.
Oh, so you didn't even give him clear guidance. There were no comps. No. Oh, wow.
I was like, is this godaddy.com or like...
I was like, is this godaddy.com or like...
Oh, wow! So people just think you're like really into snakes on roses.
Oh, wow! So people just think you're like really into snakes on roses.
And why that is the thing? Because you want to return to the grave with a clean body. Oh, is that like a religious thing or that's just like a vibe thing? Yeah.
And why that is the thing? Because you want to return to the grave with a clean body. Oh, is that like a religious thing or that's just like a vibe thing? Yeah.
no i'm um i'm a i'm a good boy yeah uh you did you did have a phase though what's a bad boy phase i did have a bad boy phase but what do they call that what do they call the asians that are kind of hood oh that is called oh fuck what is that called look that up there's a specific it's not blazing is it no no that's when you're mixed that's tiger woods
no i'm um i'm a i'm a good boy yeah uh you did you did have a phase though what's a bad boy phase i did have a bad boy phase but what do they call that what do they call the asians that are kind of hood oh that is called oh fuck what is that called look that up there's a specific it's not blazing is it no no that's when you're mixed that's tiger woods
I love Ian. How's he doing? I haven't seen him in like a minute. Is he doing wonderful?
I love Ian. How's he doing? I haven't seen him in like a minute. Is he doing wonderful?
It was... Name. Well, for girls, it's ABCs. Or ABGs. I can't remember. Asian baby girls. That's like the flip side of the Fast and the Furious. That's like Devin Aoki is like an ABG. But yeah, what was...
It was... Name. Well, for girls, it's ABCs. Or ABGs. I can't remember. Asian baby girls. That's like the flip side of the Fast and the Furious. That's like Devin Aoki is like an ABG. But yeah, what was...
I'd be like, it's like almost like, it's like bad boy Asians from like San Gabriel Valley.
I'd be like, it's like almost like, it's like bad boy Asians from like San Gabriel Valley.
It is going to bother me too, actually. Let me just look it up as well.
It is going to bother me too, actually. Let me just look it up as well.
I know.
I know.
Yeah, just like off. Yeah.
Yeah, just like off. Yeah.
That's not correct.
That's not correct.
I will remember it for next time.
I will remember it for next time.
Wow, that's a really good storytelling device. I like that.
Wow, that's a really good storytelling device. I like that.
Yeah, and you 100% agree to that, right?
Yeah, and you 100% agree to that, right?
Yeah, I don't know if I agree with that.
Yeah, I don't know if I agree with that.
I mean, a lot of people are showing hole these days, man. Very popular.
I mean, a lot of people are showing hole these days, man. Very popular.
10 years sober which is pretty good and he's i mean he's always had that infectious ian finance energy yeah i mean dude i remember the first time that i met him which i don't know if that was the first time you had met him when he was yeah that was the first time really okay got it when he came on um the last stop which is a deep cut for the subway takes heads know what i'm referring to but when he showed up on set and just realized wow this guy is a real um firecracker
10 years sober which is pretty good and he's i mean he's always had that infectious ian finance energy yeah i mean dude i remember the first time that i met him which i don't know if that was the first time you had met him when he was yeah that was the first time really okay got it when he came on um the last stop which is a deep cut for the subway takes heads know what i'm referring to but when he showed up on set and just realized wow this guy is a real um firecracker
He was so funny. So how did the episode go, man?
He was so funny. So how did the episode go, man?
Yeah, look, I think that would be a big draw. By the way, I think if you're so nostalgic for the 90s, does that just mean that you're a little washed, a little old, a little bit out of touch? Did you guys touch on that as a topic?
Yeah, look, I think that would be a big draw. By the way, I think if you're so nostalgic for the 90s, does that just mean that you're a little washed, a little old, a little bit out of touch? Did you guys touch on that as a topic?
Well, I phrase it as a question.
Well, I phrase it as a question.
Well, I mean, it was a bit of a push-pull, I'll admit.
Well, I mean, it was a bit of a push-pull, I'll admit.
Wait, did you not... You're not on the Platinum Medallion?
Wait, did you not... You're not on the Platinum Medallion?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. How do you define interesting?
Okay. How do you define interesting?
Okay, got it. All right. Okay.
Okay, got it. All right. Okay.
Well, to be fair, you are also picking on like the world's worst versions of a modern day coffee shop. Like those are devoid of anything.
Well, to be fair, you are also picking on like the world's worst versions of a modern day coffee shop. Like those are devoid of anything.
I don't go to coffee shop chains. I don't even know what's happening there.
I don't go to coffee shop chains. I don't even know what's happening there.
I eat at all of them. All of them.
I eat at all of them. All of them.
Yeah. I feel like you for sure were the guy that was in the playpen area. You remember when they had the amusement park that was attached to the McDonald's?
Yeah. I feel like you for sure were the guy that was in the playpen area. You remember when they had the amusement park that was attached to the McDonald's?
Yeah, I hear him. I'm wearing headphones. Yeah, I can hear myself.
Yeah, I hear him. I'm wearing headphones. Yeah, I can hear myself.
It sounds kind of lit. I'm not going to lie.
It sounds kind of lit. I'm not going to lie.
The sphincter is loose and my shoulders have dropped. I'm breathing deeper. You're right. Yep.
The sphincter is loose and my shoulders have dropped. I'm breathing deeper. You're right. Yep.
45.
45.
You could eat as much fruit as you wanted.
You could eat as much fruit as you wanted.
Yeah, there's no ball pits at the McDonald's on Sixth Avenue.
Yeah, there's no ball pits at the McDonald's on Sixth Avenue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You convinced me. Great, great.
You convinced me. Great, great.
They're warm and fuzzy. Yeah, yeah. I guess how do you think we're going to look back on the 2020s? That's now? Yeah, like in 20 years, how do you think we're going to look back on the 2020s?
They're warm and fuzzy. Yeah, yeah. I guess how do you think we're going to look back on the 2020s? That's now? Yeah, like in 20 years, how do you think we're going to look back on the 2020s?
Wait a second. You don't look back on the millenniums? That's pre-Willingsburg not being a mall.
Wait a second. You don't look back on the millenniums? That's pre-Willingsburg not being a mall.
You came here when I came here. I'm like the 20... Why am I saying 20? 2008. i came in two thousand twelve oh wow all right so you're like uh fuck seriously oh so you're barely a new yorker barely yeah famously barely a new yorker so i'm really the new yorker here on in this conversation is what we're saying yeah
You came here when I came here. I'm like the 20... Why am I saying 20? 2008. i came in two thousand twelve oh wow all right so you're like uh fuck seriously oh so you're barely a new yorker barely yeah famously barely a new yorker so i'm really the new yorker here on in this conversation is what we're saying yeah
Wow. By the way, it's funny. So I actually had to do something today. And I'm actually a little bit ashamed to reveal it, but I think I have to because I'm trying to live more honestly in my life. Is that today... I canceled my Equinox subscription membership because I was like, oh, I'm not in the city enough to justify the enormous cost of going to an expensive gym. And I was like, oh, shit.
Wow. By the way, it's funny. So I actually had to do something today. And I'm actually a little bit ashamed to reveal it, but I think I have to because I'm trying to live more honestly in my life. Is that today... I canceled my Equinox subscription membership because I was like, oh, I'm not in the city enough to justify the enormous cost of going to an expensive gym. And I was like, oh, shit.
What's up? What's up? What's up? I just want everyone to know I've got about 200 followers. The audience development is developing.
What's up? What's up? What's up? I just want everyone to know I've got about 200 followers. The audience development is developing.
Does it actually mean that I really am an upstater? Is that like I can't even go to the Equinox anymore? I was like, oh, this just, you know, I'm no longer a member. How fucked up is that? It's really crazy.
Does it actually mean that I really am an upstater? Is that like I can't even go to the Equinox anymore? I was like, oh, this just, you know, I'm no longer a member. How fucked up is that? It's really crazy.
Yeah, that's... Look, it's... You know, everyone's like, oh, there's no more third places. You know, that's like a whole thing. Like, you know, the New York... All these articles about third... Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's... Look, it's... You know, everyone's like, oh, there's no more third places. You know, that's like a whole thing. Like, you know, the New York... All these articles about third... Yeah, yeah.
What's your third place?
What's your third place?
Dude, that's... First of all, that is sick. Banks have gotten really good lounges. What's their deal? Is it like free kombucha on tap? What are they doing over there?
Dude, that's... First of all, that is sick. Banks have gotten really good lounges. What's their deal? Is it like free kombucha on tap? What are they doing over there?
um every day i check it i'm like yo if i get like one new follower a day it feels like it's a good day so it's good it's i mean we all gotta start somewhere dude yeah yeah yeah we all gotta start somewhere that's right that's right you gotta start from zero i did i was shocked i was shocked
um every day i check it i'm like yo if i get like one new follower a day it feels like it's a good day so it's good it's i mean we all gotta start somewhere dude yeah yeah yeah we all gotta start somewhere that's right that's right you gotta start from zero i did i was shocked i was shocked
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
that sounds like a band also from the 90s.
that sounds like a band also from the 90s.
It is a band from the 90s. And like, what's the crowd like at the Capital One Lounge?
It is a band from the 90s. And like, what's the crowd like at the Capital One Lounge?
Yeah, I could say that. I could see that.
Yeah, I could say that. I could see that.
Oh, well, that's... I mean, you can't even stay there. I mean, and do you think that's why there was no one there? Because I'll be honest. If I had walked in... No, no, there were a lot of people.
Oh, well, that's... I mean, you can't even stay there. I mean, and do you think that's why there was no one there? Because I'll be honest. If I had walked in... No, no, there were a lot of people.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, so you were people watching from the safe confines of the Capital One Lab.
Oh, so you were people watching from the safe confines of the Capital One Lab.
Strong body, strong mind. And if you've seen me IRL, you know I got that strong bod. What's good?
Strong body, strong mind. And if you've seen me IRL, you know I got that strong bod. What's good?
I'm so yoked, dude. I had to switch t-shirts because the other one didn't fit me. That was the one originally.
I'm so yoked, dude. I had to switch t-shirts because the other one didn't fit me. That was the one originally.
Yeah, that's right. Is that actually true? No, I actually did a weird random aside. What I was doing right before this is I was getting baby photos done at the house. So there's a photographer who's wrapping up with Malou right now. So I actually did have to put on a fit. And then I was like, oh wait, this t-shirt's too tight.
Yeah, that's right. Is that actually true? No, I actually did a weird random aside. What I was doing right before this is I was getting baby photos done at the house. So there's a photographer who's wrapping up with Malou right now. So I actually did have to put on a fit. And then I was like, oh wait, this t-shirt's too tight.
Yeah, in the baby photos. And I was like, oh, this isn't going to age very well. And so I put on a more appropriately sized shirt.
Yeah, in the baby photos. And I was like, oh, this isn't going to age very well. And so I put on a more appropriately sized shirt.
It was too tight. It was too tight.
It was too tight. It was too tight.
You know, I don't actually know the brand. I remember picking it up randomly when I was home in Detroit, and I think it was Brandless, actually.
You know, I don't actually know the brand. I remember picking it up randomly when I was home in Detroit, and I think it was Brandless, actually.
No, it's like a boutique in downtown Birmingham. You wouldn't know about it, but it's cool.
No, it's like a boutique in downtown Birmingham. You wouldn't know about it, but it's cool.
Homo sapien? What do you mean? No, homosexual. That used to be the thing on the playground back when we were kids. You call me a homo?
Homo sapien? What do you mean? No, homosexual. That used to be the thing on the playground back when we were kids. You call me a homo?
Really? I was pretty popular in elementary school.
Really? I was pretty popular in elementary school.
And then you'd be like, oh, homosexual.
And then you'd be like, oh, homosexual.
I think that's fine.
I think that's fine.
Why? Because someone can see my forearms? All of a sudden, I'm not taking the shoot seriously?
Why? Because someone can see my forearms? All of a sudden, I'm not taking the shoot seriously?
I'm definitely not wearing a collar. That's right.
I'm definitely not wearing a collar. That's right.
Yeah, but I don't know. Since when do collars signify me taking it more seriously? There's plenty of guys who wear collars that still look pretty fucking sloppy, let's be honest. You've been to Miami. You know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, but I don't know. Since when do collars signify me taking it more seriously? There's plenty of guys who wear collars that still look pretty fucking sloppy, let's be honest. You've been to Miami. You know what I'm talking about.
Wow. Dale, do you hear that? I can't believe he would say that to two men on a podcast recording. They're both wearing t-shirts. That's actually insulting.
Wow. Dale, do you hear that? I can't believe he would say that to two men on a podcast recording. They're both wearing t-shirts. That's actually insulting.
I don't wear t-shirts. I have noticed about you. You only wear a collar thing, and then you just unbutton it all the way down to your navel.
I don't wear t-shirts. I have noticed about you. You only wear a collar thing, and then you just unbutton it all the way down to your navel.
I know. I can see. I can see exactly what you're doing.
I know. I can see. I can see exactly what you're doing.
Look, just because you have really small calves, underdeveloped calves, and you're afraid to show them off, that's really a Kareem thing.
Look, just because you have really small calves, underdeveloped calves, and you're afraid to show them off, that's really a Kareem thing.
That's right.
That's right.
Do you? I've never seen them. I wouldn't know.
Do you? I've never seen them. I wouldn't know.
As much as I respect you, this is excruciating.
As much as I respect you, this is excruciating.
So how do you eat? How do I eat? With your hands. No, no, but how do you use a knife and fork?
So how do you eat? How do I eat? With your hands. No, no, but how do you use a knife and fork?
As a person?
As a person?
Morally slippery?
Morally slippery?
Smoky people.
Smoky people.
Do we have to get on another one? We go back.
Do we have to get on another one? We go back.
Oh, to go home?
Oh, to go home?
Put these on. Your viewership is going to go, don't you think?
Put these on. Your viewership is going to go, don't you think?
Do they?
Do they?
I think they've got a little bit of skin flake in the middle. Before I had glasses, because now I'm so old I have to wear glasses all the time, I used to look at people with dirty glasses and go, dude, come on. A little bit of self-respect, please. Just get a tissue and wipe them clean. And now my reading glasses are like old people's glasses. They've got the skin flake. They've got the thing.
I think they've got a little bit of skin flake in the middle. Before I had glasses, because now I'm so old I have to wear glasses all the time, I used to look at people with dirty glasses and go, dude, come on. A little bit of self-respect, please. Just get a tissue and wipe them clean. And now my reading glasses are like old people's glasses. They've got the skin flake. They've got the thing.
But don't you use it? Your thumbs are really important digits.
But don't you use it? Your thumbs are really important digits.
It's really bad.
It's really bad.
It's really disgusting.
It's really disgusting.
Well, no, I used to, but now I am one of those people. So I'm kind of, I've got a newfound empathy for the...
Well, no, I used to, but now I am one of those people. So I'm kind of, I've got a newfound empathy for the...
but the skin stuff like if someone you know like if i forgot my glasses and you have to borrow someone's reading glasses and you get them it's like it's like it's like the facial toe jam it's really disgusting it's quite disgusting and really hard to cope with but then because they've lent you their glasses see yeah i'm just getting rid of this i'm just getting rid of the skin i don't know do they look good on me they look really good on you i think they look better
but the skin stuff like if someone you know like if i forgot my glasses and you have to borrow someone's reading glasses and you get them it's like it's like it's like the facial toe jam it's really disgusting it's quite disgusting and really hard to cope with but then because they've lent you their glasses see yeah i'm just getting rid of this i'm just getting rid of the skin i don't know do they look good on me they look really good on you i think they look better
Look, put these back on and then see.
Look, put these back on and then see.
No, it's because you can see your eyebrows now and you've got great eyebrows. No, thank you so much. You don't wax or thread, do you?
No, it's because you can see your eyebrows now and you've got great eyebrows. No, thank you so much. You don't wax or thread, do you?
As I can tell from your glasses.
As I can tell from your glasses.
I'm blind. I'm not reading my... See, this is the one... This is the one good thing about being clinically blind is that everyone looks fantastic. I look fantastic in the mirror, actually.
I'm blind. I'm not reading my... See, this is the one... This is the one good thing about being clinically blind is that everyone looks fantastic. I look fantastic in the mirror, actually.
Yeah, until you see a photograph of yourself and you go, whoa.
Yeah, until you see a photograph of yourself and you go, whoa.
And what does naturally beautiful mean?
And what does naturally beautiful mean?
In 2004? Oh, my God. So I must have slipped way down the list since then, since it's 2025. So 21 years ago, I was the third most naturally beautiful woman in the world.
In 2004? Oh, my God. So I must have slipped way down the list since then, since it's 2025. So 21 years ago, I was the third most naturally beautiful woman in the world.
Okay, well, you think that made my currency go up or down, but that was 21 years ago.
Okay, well, you think that made my currency go up or down, but that was 21 years ago.
Oh, yeah, definitely. I want to get two or three more.
Oh, yeah, definitely. I want to get two or three more.
It's really, really expensive.
It's really, really expensive.
But it also means you have to work, which I'm not so keen on doing. I want to be at home in my garden with my chickens.
But it also means you have to work, which I'm not so keen on doing. I want to be at home in my garden with my chickens.
With my gun?
With my gun?
My garden.
My garden.
My garden, because I kill things and I want to learn to not kill things.
My garden, because I kill things and I want to learn to not kill things.
An epidemic of Australians?
An epidemic of Australians?
Well, they're all in Berlin. Are they moving here?
Well, they're all in Berlin. Are they moving here?
Are you worried about this?
Are you worried about this?
Like a vacuum cleaner. But see, you still wouldn't solve the pollution problem. No, I agree. Unless you had a leaf blower the size of Texas. I'm just saying in general. But the stupidity, this is the thing, it's a metaphor for what's wrong with us as a species, is we blow shit from one side of our lawn to the other side, and then the wind is just going to blow it back.
Like a vacuum cleaner. But see, you still wouldn't solve the pollution problem. No, I agree. Unless you had a leaf blower the size of Texas. I'm just saying in general. But the stupidity, this is the thing, it's a metaphor for what's wrong with us as a species, is we blow shit from one side of our lawn to the other side, and then the wind is just going to blow it back.
Avocado toast with chili flakes, but good coffee.
Avocado toast with chili flakes, but good coffee.
I think so. Vegemite toast. We don't really have a national food.
I think so. Vegemite toast. We don't really have a national food.
We have a lot of beer. We have cold beer. As opposed to the English warm beer. Not that I drink beer.
We have a lot of beer. We have cold beer. As opposed to the English warm beer. Not that I drink beer.
A seven-story bar? Yeah, I said, I'll probably pass. Why are there so many Australians here now?
A seven-story bar? Yeah, I said, I'll probably pass. Why are there so many Australians here now?
They're naturally beautiful.
They're naturally beautiful.
And they're all actors.
And they're all actors.
They're chefs. We do the Pacific Rim. We do good food. What's the Pacific Rim? We're situated geographically in Asia, but yet a lot of our culinary traditions are French and European. So we pull our... global warming is having something to do with the reduction of the amazing fish. But we have amazing fish.
They're chefs. We do the Pacific Rim. We do good food. What's the Pacific Rim? We're situated geographically in Asia, but yet a lot of our culinary traditions are French and European. So we pull our... global warming is having something to do with the reduction of the amazing fish. But we have amazing fish.
I am so comfortable.
I am so comfortable.
Oh, you see, you don't have strap hangers.
Oh, you see, you don't have strap hangers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What? Is it? You haven't lived.
What? Is it? You haven't lived.
But they did this study in the Tube in London. And they said that the Tube seats were fine. It's bed covers. You know the coverlets that you get on a bed in a hotel. They are far more filthy than the seat covers in the Tube.
But they did this study in the Tube in London. And they said that the Tube seats were fine. It's bed covers. You know the coverlets that you get on a bed in a hotel. They are far more filthy than the seat covers in the Tube.
So if you go to a hotel... Do not sleep on that bed cover. Pull it off, put it in a plastic bag, and fumigate yourself.
So if you go to a hotel... Do not sleep on that bed cover. Pull it off, put it in a plastic bag, and fumigate yourself.
Sorry, have I been elbowing you in the head? Sorry.
Sorry, have I been elbowing you in the head? Sorry.
You're a bit of both. We're colonized by the British, so it's okay. Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate.
You're a bit of both. We're colonized by the British, so it's okay. Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate.
You just put them through your nose.
You just put them through your nose.
No. I'm up top.
No. I'm up top.
Well, the 50-whatever state of America.
Well, the 50-whatever state of America.
United State of X.
United State of X.
Yes. What's your take? What annoys you? Talking to people on trains?
Yes. What's your take? What annoys you? Talking to people on trains?
Why don't you want to reveal it?
Why don't you want to reveal it?
And what does that solve?
And what does that solve?
I know, hair dryers.
I know, hair dryers.
But you suck it, you've still got to get the bag at the end and put it somewhere.
But you suck it, you've still got to get the bag at the end and put it somewhere.
It actually, my rage went through the roof in Washington, where I think there's the highest concentration of leaf blowers anywhere.
It actually, my rage went through the roof in Washington, where I think there's the highest concentration of leaf blowers anywhere.
Yeah, yeah. And they banned them. So now you can, if you, if, I think it's because this is terrible. This is truly, truly terrible. They did a study back in, I don't know, 2010 or something, that 30 minutes on a leaf blower, this is going to make you really sick.
Yeah, yeah. And they banned them. So now you can, if you, if, I think it's because this is terrible. This is truly, truly terrible. They did a study back in, I don't know, 2010 or something, that 30 minutes on a leaf blower, this is going to make you really sick.
has more pollution than driving a pickup from texas to alaska 30 fucking minutes it's really bad so they've banned them in washington but i don't think it's that's the only place they're bad but they're no but they're everywhere and i my my gardener in australia i said if you use a leaf blower it's over you should be ostracized yeah yeah i said my kids i'll pay my kids two bucks an hour okay three bucks an hour to rate the leaves and make sure their hearts are in good condition how old are they
has more pollution than driving a pickup from texas to alaska 30 fucking minutes it's really bad so they've banned them in washington but i don't think it's that's the only place they're bad but they're no but they're everywhere and i my my gardener in australia i said if you use a leaf blower it's over you should be ostracized yeah yeah i said my kids i'll pay my kids two bucks an hour okay three bucks an hour to rate the leaves and make sure their hearts are in good condition how old are they
Well, they're now 24, so they don't listen to me at all. No, no, they deserve $3 an hour. Yeah, exactly. They're 25 years old, they're going to work for $3 an hour.
Well, they're now 24, so they don't listen to me at all. No, no, they deserve $3 an hour. Yeah, exactly. They're 25 years old, they're going to work for $3 an hour.
Are you in camouflage so that no one knows who you are?
Are you in camouflage so that no one knows who you are?
So you never do this without...
So you never do this without...
My take is that leaf blowers need to be eradicated from the face of the earth.
My take is that leaf blowers need to be eradicated from the face of the earth.
No, I think we do need more podcasts. You think more? I think we need more. I think we need to triple the amount of podcasts that we get. Because where else are we going to get people talking to people? Not here. People not necessarily not here. No, people who aren't yelling at people. People actually speak to one another and listen a little bit on podcasts.
No, I think we do need more podcasts. You think more? I think we need more. I think we need to triple the amount of podcasts that we get. Because where else are we going to get people talking to people? Not here. People not necessarily not here. No, people who aren't yelling at people. People actually speak to one another and listen a little bit on podcasts.
I am a podcast fan.
I am a podcast fan.
I do because I end up being on the train a lot in England.
I do because I end up being on the train a lot in England.
Yeah, I live in the country.
Yeah, I live in the country.
What, done a podcast?
What, done a podcast?
This is the world's shortest podcast. I think more podcasts.
This is the world's shortest podcast. I think more podcasts.
I think men should have to menstruate every month. No, twice a month.
I think men should have to menstruate every month. No, twice a month.
Every day.
Every day.
Male chickens? They do. Male chickens. They're called roosters. Yeah, I think the world would be a kinder, more compassionate place if men had to give birth. I mean, it would be a game changer.
Male chickens? They do. Male chickens. They're called roosters. Yeah, I think the world would be a kinder, more compassionate place if men had to give birth. I mean, it would be a game changer.
It happens very slowly.
It happens very slowly.
Yeah, I've done it four times, well, three times.
Yeah, I've done it four times, well, three times.
Three and a half.
Three and a half.
Well, it has to.
Well, it has to.
Yeah. But after that, it's just like, and it just comes out.
Yeah. But after that, it's just like, and it just comes out.
It does. But after it's all over, like when it happened to me and I'm fortunate, I had three easy, relatively easy births. I just wanted a cheese sandwich. It was the first thing I wanted. It's like, yeah. Easy to please. I want to have another baby and a cheese sandwich.
It does. But after it's all over, like when it happened to me and I'm fortunate, I had three easy, relatively easy births. I just wanted a cheese sandwich. It was the first thing I wanted. It's like, yeah. Easy to please. I want to have another baby and a cheese sandwich.
It was on the beach, on the boardwalk. He was blowing one leaf. So maybe he was trying to blow the sand.
It was on the beach, on the boardwalk. He was blowing one leaf. So maybe he was trying to blow the sand.
Okay, but what if it's a black guy who's dressed so badly?
Okay, but what if it's a black guy who's dressed so badly?
It doesn't happen?
It doesn't happen?
No, that's probably true. What if a black woman tells you you look cool?
No, that's probably true. What if a black woman tells you you look cool?
That is so rude. I have four kids, and the stalk didn't bring them. Did you plan ahead?
That is so rude. I have four kids, and the stalk didn't bring them. Did you plan ahead?
I'm wearing two white sneakers.
I'm wearing two white sneakers.
How do you know? Is that a come on line?
How do you know? Is that a come on line?
Yeah, a hard shoe. Did this gentleman used to wear white sneakers and then maybe he, what, maybe he hadn't changed his socks?
Yeah, a hard shoe. Did this gentleman used to wear white sneakers and then maybe he, what, maybe he hadn't changed his socks?
So he'd been blowing that leaf probably from five blocks away. It had finally got onto the beach. And his employer had said, if you don't fucking get rid of that leaf, you are done.
So he'd been blowing that leaf probably from five blocks away. It had finally got onto the beach. And his employer had said, if you don't fucking get rid of that leaf, you are done.
Okay. Of his own volition or just people, just women, or men, or whoever just swarmed all over him? Look, I'm not sure because I will say that... I've been propositioned three times on the way here in my white sneakers.
Okay. Of his own volition or just people, just women, or men, or whoever just swarmed all over him? Look, I'm not sure because I will say that... I've been propositioned three times on the way here in my white sneakers.
But see, I don't wear socks.
But see, I don't wear socks.
You're also not cool. That black dude would not say that you were cool.
You're also not cool. That black dude would not say that you were cool.
That's true. Well, yeah. Mine are kind of dirty.
That's true. Well, yeah. Mine are kind of dirty.
Absolutely. Dirty. But see, that's he didn't qualify. Dirty white stinkers need to fuck all the time.
Absolutely. Dirty. But see, that's he didn't qualify. Dirty white stinkers need to fuck all the time.
I would say about seven. But can you get another seven in before you reach the next star?
I would say about seven. But can you get another seven in before you reach the next star?
And I've sworn way too much. Now, okay, so if you're doing ADR, right, and there's a lot of swearing in the movie, and they ask you to say a word to replace a cuss word, what will you do?
And I've sworn way too much. Now, okay, so if you're doing ADR, right, and there's a lot of swearing in the movie, and they ask you to say a word to replace a cuss word, what will you do?
Yeah. Or I just think they should just beep it. Like in the movie? Yeah, they should just go beep so that you know that someone is cussing rather than saying farm you melon farmer.
Yeah. Or I just think they should just beep it. Like in the movie? Yeah, they should just go beep so that you know that someone is cussing rather than saying farm you melon farmer.
You have to have a word that replaces like felucca. Which is, I think, one of the sexiest words ever. Do you know what it is?
You have to have a word that replaces like felucca. Which is, I think, one of the sexiest words ever. Do you know what it is?
No, see, this is the thing. Not only are leaf blowers ugly and they're noise polluting, then your neighbors hate you because in the end all you're doing is blowing the leaves onto your neighbor's lawn. So it's really bad for neighbor relations. They're really bad for your health, not only your ears. Oh, I didn't know this.
No, see, this is the thing. Not only are leaf blowers ugly and they're noise polluting, then your neighbors hate you because in the end all you're doing is blowing the leaves onto your neighbor's lawn. So it's really bad for neighbor relations. They're really bad for your health, not only your ears. Oh, I didn't know this.
Yeah, on the Nile of Egypt, which is where I'm from. But look. Are you from Egypt? Yeah, I was born there. I've been on many a felucca. Oh, yeah. But look, when you say felucca, look. Felucca. If I was on the other side of the train here and I looked at you and I went, Falooka, it'd be on, right?
Yeah, on the Nile of Egypt, which is where I'm from. But look. Are you from Egypt? Yeah, I was born there. I've been on many a felucca. Oh, yeah. But look, when you say felucca, look. Felucca. If I was on the other side of the train here and I looked at you and I went, Falooka, it'd be on, right?
I'm wearing white sneakers, so I probably wouldn't. I'm married. So am I. But if you said Falooka to me... You know. Felucca. Felucca. We have to say it softly. Felucca.
I'm wearing white sneakers, so I probably wouldn't. I'm married. So am I. But if you said Falooka to me... You know. Felucca. Felucca. We have to say it softly. Felucca.
And the other one is peach.
And the other one is peach.
That could be a... See, we need more podcasts.
That could be a... See, we need more podcasts.
On this train? Are you here because of Black Bag?
On this train? Are you here because of Black Bag?
No, I've made a film with Steven Soderbergh again after, oh God, however many years. It's a spy movie and Fassbinder's in it. And Tom Burke, who I'm also on stage with, not right this minute, but in London. But I have to go back and get back on stage. And I'm not wearing white sneakers, I'm wearing Birkenstocks. Which are super, super duper sexy.
No, I've made a film with Steven Soderbergh again after, oh God, however many years. It's a spy movie and Fassbinder's in it. And Tom Burke, who I'm also on stage with, not right this minute, but in London. But I have to go back and get back on stage. And I'm not wearing white sneakers, I'm wearing Birkenstocks. Which are super, super duper sexy.
And actually, I don't like socks with sandals at all. But Birkenstocks with socks... I think that's really cool. So you're in a spy thriller. I am. It's called Black Bag, and it's about this couple, Fassbender and I, who are high-level operative, intelligence operative. So it's a big stretch for me to be an intelligence operative cast against type.
And actually, I don't like socks with sandals at all. But Birkenstocks with socks... I think that's really cool. So you're in a spy thriller. I am. It's called Black Bag, and it's about this couple, Fassbender and I, who are high-level operative, intelligence operative. So it's a big stretch for me to be an intelligence operative cast against type.
And then he realizes that I'm a suspect in this terribly dangerous thing.
And then he realizes that I'm a suspect in this terribly dangerous thing.
Yeah, along with a lot of other people. And they're totally devoted to each other in their marriage. But, you know, it's this thing about if you can lie about everything in your job, then what's the truth?
Yeah, along with a lot of other people. And they're totally devoted to each other in their marriage. But, you know, it's this thing about if you can lie about everything in your job, then what's the truth?
Oh, because I said felucca to you?
Oh, because I said felucca to you?
But I think the rise of cardiac problems has gone through the roof because people are not doing the physical exercise.
But I think the rise of cardiac problems has gone through the roof because people are not doing the physical exercise.
How much longer will you be married, perhaps? What? You've been married for four years and you can't remember it's four... I've been married 28 years and I can remember that.
How much longer will you be married, perhaps? What? You've been married for four years and you can't remember it's four... I've been married 28 years and I can remember that.
And were you together for a long time before you got married?
And were you together for a long time before you got married?
Do you have anniversaries?
Do you have anniversaries?
Oh, maybe it feels like it's a year.
Oh, maybe it feels like it's a year.
Yes.
Yes.
Make your fucking kids do it.
Make your fucking kids do it.
Okay.
Okay.
You deconvert.
You deconvert.
So she re-became a Christian again?
So she re-became a Christian again?
It's true. The rake, you have to move it. Your lats are getting weaker and weaker. It's like with phones. We're using this digit is now the most powerful digit around.
It's true. The rake, you have to move it. Your lats are getting weaker and weaker. It's like with phones. We're using this digit is now the most powerful digit around.
Oh, wow. So you brought her back?
Oh, wow. So you brought her back?
Which is a fabulous place.
Which is a fabulous place.
I can understand that. The mosques in Turkey are pretty spectacular.
I can understand that. The mosques in Turkey are pretty spectacular.
As is this sun. So you spend most of your day underground, like a mole.
As is this sun. So you spend most of your day underground, like a mole.
Last time I was here. My son's at NYU, so I traveled. But this is good because people still do weird stuff. Whereas in London, honestly, people are just on their phones.
Last time I was here. My son's at NYU, so I traveled. But this is good because people still do weird stuff. Whereas in London, honestly, people are just on their phones.
Yeah, on buses and people giving themselves pedicures or saying weird stuff or what they're reading, reading books upside down.
Yeah, on buses and people giving themselves pedicures or saying weird stuff or what they're reading, reading books upside down.
No, this person was actually reading. Really? Or maybe they were reciting something else. Yeah. That's interesting.
No, this person was actually reading. Really? Or maybe they were reciting something else. Yeah. That's interesting.
See? The carriage is like a Quaker church. Everyone gets a chance to speak.
See? The carriage is like a Quaker church. Everyone gets a chance to speak.
And so everyone can chime in.
And so everyone can chime in.
People were quite, yes, yes.
People were quite, yes, yes.
Oh, yes, definitely.
Oh, yes, definitely.
I once did drag at Stonewall to raise money because the Sandy Hook parents, much-needed... And they thought that's an amazing drag of Cate Blanchett. That's so good. But I'm really bad at playing myself. This is excruciating.
I once did drag at Stonewall to raise money because the Sandy Hook parents, much-needed... And they thought that's an amazing drag of Cate Blanchett. That's so good. But I'm really bad at playing myself. This is excruciating.
What are you, a fucking medieval lord?
What are you, a fucking medieval lord?
That's wild. I know, we're all wild. Warum dich ein bisschen Regen nicht auffällt. Warum Laufen zum Ritual wird. Also laufe und fühle das Runners High.
That's wild. I know, we're all wild. Warum dich ein bisschen Regen nicht auffällt. Warum Laufen zum Ritual wird. Also laufe und fühle das Runners High.
$500?
$500?
I have two, bro.
I have two, bro.
You walk through love.
You walk through love.
Right. But real talk, if we're actually talking about for real, for real, what I have found, and I'm not saying that this has to be the way you would do it, but the way that I've made friendships as an adult is I will get that text at a dinner party or a party or a function or whatever. And what I'll do is I'll literally just hit them up, whatever, and just invite myself to wherever they are.
Right. But real talk, if we're actually talking about for real, for real, what I have found, and I'm not saying that this has to be the way you would do it, but the way that I've made friendships as an adult is I will get that text at a dinner party or a party or a function or whatever. And what I'll do is I'll literally just hit them up, whatever, and just invite myself to wherever they are.
And if they're down, then I know we've made friends. What do you mean you invite yourself to wherever they are? It's like, hey man, what's going on? What are you up to? And they're like, oh, I'm doing this, blah, blah, blah. What are you up to? And people are sometimes just being polite. And I'll just be like, oh, cool. I'm going to come with. Oh, I would never do that.
And if they're down, then I know we've made friends. What do you mean you invite yourself to wherever they are? It's like, hey man, what's going on? What are you up to? And they're like, oh, I'm doing this, blah, blah, blah. What are you up to? And people are sometimes just being polite. And I'll just be like, oh, cool. I'm going to come with. Oh, I would never do that.
And then I see how they were.
And then I see how they were.
And what did that person say in response to that?
And what did that person say in response to that?
Yeah, I was going to ask, by the way, is this like a foreign person? This person can't be American. You're firing back voice notes back and forth. No, they're American. Oh, and is this on WhatsApp or is this on text? Text, iMessage. Crazy, crazy. And so what happened? Did you guys end up linking up? Like what? Where'd you leave it? It fizzled. It fizzled. Yeah.
Yeah, I was going to ask, by the way, is this like a foreign person? This person can't be American. You're firing back voice notes back and forth. No, they're American. Oh, and is this on WhatsApp or is this on text? Text, iMessage. Crazy, crazy. And so what happened? Did you guys end up linking up? Like what? Where'd you leave it? It fizzled. It fizzled. Yeah.
Why are you so shy and being so aggressively just being like, hey, where are you at? I'm coming to hang out.
Why are you so shy and being so aggressively just being like, hey, where are you at? I'm coming to hang out.
Okay, got it.
Okay, got it.
Okay.
Okay.
That feels really intimate, but that's okay. I mean, 2025 is about male intimacy.
That feels really intimate, but that's okay. I mean, 2025 is about male intimacy.
And be like, hey, I'm going to walk my cats. I'll link on the corner of X and Z. I can just take a walk with him. I don't have to take my cats with me. Yeah, but I feel like you want to bring a companion with you as well. He's bringing a companion, you bring a companion. It's like equal levels, you know?
And be like, hey, I'm going to walk my cats. I'll link on the corner of X and Z. I can just take a walk with him. I don't have to take my cats with me. Yeah, but I feel like you want to bring a companion with you as well. He's bringing a companion, you bring a companion. It's like equal levels, you know?
Oh, no, I got that story. But yeah, so how was it?
Oh, no, I got that story. But yeah, so how was it?
Exactly. Wait, that's so, yeah, I forgot.
Exactly. Wait, that's so, yeah, I forgot.
And you'd get the weird haircut with the puffs and the tufts.
And you'd get the weird haircut with the puffs and the tufts.
That feels kind of off-brand for you, if I'm being honest.
That feels kind of off-brand for you, if I'm being honest.
I guess you do kind of have a little puff and a tuft.
I guess you do kind of have a little puff and a tuft.
Yeah. Yeah. I would think something a little bit brawnier though. Like a Doberman? Maybe not. Maybe something that's, you know, just, yeah, a little, not like Husky. Like I would never describe you as a Husky man, but I would be like, yeah. That's literally what you're, you're literally doing that right now. I don't know.
Yeah. Yeah. I would think something a little bit brawnier though. Like a Doberman? Maybe not. Maybe something that's, you know, just, yeah, a little, not like Husky. Like I would never describe you as a Husky man, but I would be like, yeah. That's literally what you're, you're literally doing that right now. I don't know.
I'm saying that you're, you know, you're a man, you know, you're a man of a certain spatial taking up of, you know, that's how, that's a scientific term of taking up space. So I would think that you'd get a dog that similarly would also take up space.
I'm saying that you're, you know, you're a man, you know, you're a man of a certain spatial taking up of, you know, that's how, that's a scientific term of taking up space. So I would think that you'd get a dog that similarly would also take up space.
Yeah. Look, I'll let you have that.
Yeah. Look, I'll let you have that.
No, it's it. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking at him right now. He's sleeping on the couch. I'm not really doing shit. He's kind of a little big. He is a little bit of a big it's it's definitely like a bougie kind of basic dog. But he's cute. He is really cute. He is really cute.
No, it's it. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking at him right now. He's sleeping on the couch. I'm not really doing shit. He's kind of a little big. He is a little bit of a big it's it's definitely like a bougie kind of basic dog. But he's cute. He is really cute. He is really cute.
No, he's not. But I think I'm friendly. I think the energy is kind of the same. I think I'm a human version of that. I'm a pretty nice, friendly, outgoing kind of person, I would say. People have said that about me. 100% disagree.
No, he's not. But I think I'm friendly. I think the energy is kind of the same. I think I'm a human version of that. I'm a pretty nice, friendly, outgoing kind of person, I would say. People have said that about me. 100% disagree.
Yeah, that sounds good. Enjoy. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks for having me, buddy. Of course. I'll see you soon. I'll see you right after this. Okay. Goodbye. Bye.
Yeah, that sounds good. Enjoy. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks for having me, buddy. Of course. I'll see you soon. I'll see you right after this. Okay. Goodbye. Bye.
Who sucked whom's face?
Who sucked whom's face?
I feel like it was Blake for sure. That feels very Blake coded.
I feel like it was Blake for sure. That feels very Blake coded.
Wow. This is like very high school. Was this at like Hotel Chantal or something? It literally, I think, was at a hotel. Yeah, that makes 100% sense.
Wow. This is like very high school. Was this at like Hotel Chantal or something? It literally, I think, was at a hotel. Yeah, that makes 100% sense.
Isn't that all relationships until you get to the final relationship? Isn't that...
Isn't that all relationships until you get to the final relationship? Isn't that...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was thinking that it's basically just like sex plus. It's sex plus.
Yeah, I was thinking that it's basically just like sex plus. It's sex plus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What was the answer on that one?
What was the answer on that one?
God, the right before the wedding one's tough. Right before the wedding is really tough. Yeah, I get that. You're in a position where you don't want to say no to something. You know, like someone's getting on their knee and they're doing the whole thing.
God, the right before the wedding one's tough. Right before the wedding is really tough. Yeah, I get that. You're in a position where you don't want to say no to something. You know, like someone's getting on their knee and they're doing the whole thing.
Right, right, right. The classic building blocks that you call the improv sketch.
Right, right, right. The classic building blocks that you call the improv sketch.
Right. Which, by the way, thanks again for the book. You're welcome.
Right. Which, by the way, thanks again for the book. You're welcome.
Was it a picture book? Nope. Oh, nice.
Was it a picture book? Nope. Oh, nice.
Okay. What was the book called?
Okay. What was the book called?
Oh yeah. How, how was, I mean, look, I'd only be getting a few little excerpts on page six. Um, so I don't know, obviously the whole arc, was it a good read? It's a great read. Yeah.
Oh yeah. How, how was, I mean, look, I'd only be getting a few little excerpts on page six. Um, so I don't know, obviously the whole arc, was it a good read? It's a great read. Yeah.
I thought you were going to say it was going to make you want to have a seafood tower.
I thought you were going to say it was going to make you want to have a seafood tower.
Dude, I would fucking... I'd show up for sure, man. You should do it. We should do it together. Yeah, I'm down. Let's do it.
Dude, I would fucking... I'd show up for sure, man. You should do it. We should do it together. Yeah, I'm down. Let's do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I like the idea of building a physical place where vibes are happening. I think that's a bit of a lost art nowadays. And I think that's why Balthazar is honestly so fucking iconic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I like the idea of building a physical place where vibes are happening. I think that's a bit of a lost art nowadays. And I think that's why Balthazar is honestly so fucking iconic.
Remember when we had that idea for a podcast studio slash coffee shop slash record shop slash, and that's how we're going to make all this money doing that? That was a terrible idea. Horrible, horrible fucking idea. But, you know, you live, you learn.
Remember when we had that idea for a podcast studio slash coffee shop slash record shop slash, and that's how we're going to make all this money doing that? That was a terrible idea. Horrible, horrible fucking idea. But, you know, you live, you learn.
Wow, that's so nice of you to give such a wonderful greeting. I'm doing great.
Wow, that's so nice of you to give such a wonderful greeting. I'm doing great.
I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry. You're not. Dude, I literally just had this conversation with Malou yesterday. I actually had a conversation. I was like, look, I have to describe myself as being someone who maintains residences in both Manhattan and the Hudson Valley in order to ensure to let people know that I'm still in it. You know what I mean?
I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry. You're not. Dude, I literally just had this conversation with Malou yesterday. I actually had a conversation. I was like, look, I have to describe myself as being someone who maintains residences in both Manhattan and the Hudson Valley in order to ensure to let people know that I'm still in it. You know what I mean?
That's a compliment, actually. I'll take that.
That's a compliment, actually. I'll take that.
Is it the hair? Is it the body? Is it the vibe, the aura of it all? What is it about him that gets you?
Is it the hair? Is it the body? Is it the vibe, the aura of it all? What is it about him that gets you?
I have a question, though. When did he come on your radar? And have you always been... Is it Walton or is it Walter? It's Walton. It's Walton? Okay, got it. It's a sick name. It is because you're like, oh, is that misspelled? Are you mispronouncing it? Is it wrong? When he goes to Starbucks, people are not writing his name down correctly.
I have a question, though. When did he come on your radar? And have you always been... Is it Walton or is it Walter? It's Walton. It's Walton? Okay, got it. It's a sick name. It is because you're like, oh, is that misspelled? Are you mispronouncing it? Is it wrong? When he goes to Starbucks, people are not writing his name down correctly.
100 million percent.
100 million percent.
Well, I think that's just because, you know, you're the type of guy that can get so much done that it seems like, like an octopus, you have your hands, your tentacles, and so many things. One could not possibly do it all, but, you know.
Well, I think that's just because, you know, you're the type of guy that can get so much done that it seems like, like an octopus, you have your hands, your tentacles, and so many things. One could not possibly do it all, but, you know.
Yeah, he was. I mean, look, we almost had him for Subway takes. We did almost have him for Subway takes. Couldn't make the schedule work, but c'est la vie, you know?
Yeah, he was. I mean, look, we almost had him for Subway takes. We did almost have him for Subway takes. Couldn't make the schedule work, but c'est la vie, you know?
No, no. He's like a character guy that you see. And what do you think about his hair? Is it the hair or the body that you think is so distinctive?
No, no. He's like a character guy that you see. And what do you think about his hair? Is it the hair or the body that you think is so distinctive?
you tell me more about the body because that's weird no but i mean like i think people you know how like you see these actors um and there's like more they seem like normal guys and then for whatever reason like in a movie or tv series they have to take their shirt off and they're just like jacked with like a 12 pack you're like why this has nothing to do with the character development this is just a person who just works out constantly
you tell me more about the body because that's weird no but i mean like i think people you know how like you see these actors um and there's like more they seem like normal guys and then for whatever reason like in a movie or tv series they have to take their shirt off and they're just like jacked with like a 12 pack you're like why this has nothing to do with the character development this is just a person who just works out constantly
And I have to say, Walton, in this whole press tour, he has oftentimes not been wearing a shirt. I mean, let's be honest. He's oftentimes not wearing a shirt. Unclear why that's the case. And it's clear the man spends a lot of time in the gym. A lot of time in the gym.
And I have to say, Walton, in this whole press tour, he has oftentimes not been wearing a shirt. I mean, let's be honest. He's oftentimes not wearing a shirt. Unclear why that's the case. And it's clear the man spends a lot of time in the gym. A lot of time in the gym.
Yeah. I mean, look, I think it's funny that you're talking about the Hudson Valley thing because I think people don't even know that because of the whole AD episode that I think in a lot of ways also put on the map.
Yeah. I mean, look, I think it's funny that you're talking about the Hudson Valley thing because I think people don't even know that because of the whole AD episode that I think in a lot of ways also put on the map.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Again, clarification, I live in both places. But there was a weird capitalist side to me. I was like, oh, I bet that's probably good for real estate values. Which was kind of fucked up. That's literally exactly what I thought of a beat after I saw the episode. But yeah, I thought it was tight. His house was cool.
Again, clarification, I live in both places. But there was a weird capitalist side to me. I was like, oh, I bet that's probably good for real estate values. Which was kind of fucked up. That's literally exactly what I thought of a beat after I saw the episode. But yeah, I thought it was tight. His house was cool.
Wait, but wait, so wait, first of all, okay. Three years ago. That's crazy. But when did you run into him? I didn't even know that you had met him at one point.
Wait, but wait, so wait, first of all, okay. Three years ago. That's crazy. But when did you run into him? I didn't even know that you had met him at one point.
You are a collaborator. You love a collab. You love having Kareem X something. I love collab posts.
You are a collaborator. You love a collab. You love having Kareem X something. I love collab posts.
Right, but does he seem so happy just because his teeth are crazy? It looks like he's smiling even when you can't see his teeth.
Right, but does he seem so happy just because his teeth are crazy? It looks like he's smiling even when you can't see his teeth.
Yeah, I don't think God gave him those teeth.
Yeah, I don't think God gave him those teeth.
By the way, when that happens, totally random aside, when that happens, when you have something like that in childhood, you get a fake grill. and presumably your teeth at that time fit the size of your head. Your head is a smaller head because you're tiny. And then what happens is you get older, do you get bigger teeth installed? You swap out the teeth?
By the way, when that happens, totally random aside, when that happens, when you have something like that in childhood, you get a fake grill. and presumably your teeth at that time fit the size of your head. Your head is a smaller head because you're tiny. And then what happens is you get older, do you get bigger teeth installed? You swap out the teeth?
Otherwise, the idea that those teeth, which by the way are huge for his head right now. They are huge teeth. So at seven, he had the same size teeth? Otherwise, that would be maniacal if he had done that.
Otherwise, the idea that those teeth, which by the way are huge for his head right now. They are huge teeth. So at seven, he had the same size teeth? Otherwise, that would be maniacal if he had done that.
You are a collab post kind of guy.
You are a collab post kind of guy.
Yeah, he would be great.
Yeah, he would be great.
Why are you obsessed with his body?
Why are you obsessed with his body?
Did you pitch it to him? You should have pitched him this idea. The Joker? I should have pitched him the Joker?
Did you pitch it to him? You should have pitched him this idea. The Joker? I should have pitched him the Joker?
I think that is worth sliding in the DMs unless you got his phone number to be like, hey, about that invitation, how's Memorial Day weekend? I'm showing up with my wife and child.
I think that is worth sliding in the DMs unless you got his phone number to be like, hey, about that invitation, how's Memorial Day weekend? I'm showing up with my wife and child.
Right, right.
Right, right.
Well, let me ask you a question. I feel like... Some of the people you've met along the show, you have become really good friends with. You think of Jerry Saltz. I would say you guys are legitimately good friends. How did you do that? Because then just rinse and repeat, replicate, scale that friendship-making enterprise, make it happen.
Well, let me ask you a question. I feel like... Some of the people you've met along the show, you have become really good friends with. You think of Jerry Saltz. I would say you guys are legitimately good friends. How did you do that? Because then just rinse and repeat, replicate, scale that friendship-making enterprise, make it happen.
It's interesting, isn't it?
It's interesting, isn't it?
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
100%.
100%.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Talk about where I'm going.
Talk about where I'm going.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no.
No, no.
Right.
Right.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
You have.
You have.
Oh.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
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I know how important it is to stay on top of the news. But let's be honest, sometimes it can be a lot to take in. That's why you should check out 5 Good Things. Every Saturday, we highlight the good stuff happening around the world. Because there's plenty of it, I promise. Hear 5 Good Things on Saturday mornings, wherever you get your podcasts.
Is that easily confirmable one way or another? Why does there need a lore and a backstory?
Is that easily confirmable one way or another? Why does there need a lore and a backstory?
Because it's just too real and you're like, oh shit. The mortality thought kicks in and you're like, oh shit, this could happen.
Because it's just too real and you're like, oh shit. The mortality thought kicks in and you're like, oh shit, this could happen.
What do you mean? I've been in nature? I've left my premises?
What do you mean? I've been in nature? I've left my premises?
There are many ways to die. That is correct. Danger abounds.
There are many ways to die. That is correct. Danger abounds.
Yeah, no, that's right. One definite fear is an air conditioner falling. That feels brutal. Absolutely brutal.
Yeah, no, that's right. One definite fear is an air conditioner falling. That feels brutal. Absolutely brutal.
You added the G to that.
You added the G to that.
Yeah, like what percent, I've thought about this, what percent of air conditioners in the city do you think literally don't have any voltage attached to it? Where they literally are just, because by the way, I admit, I've done that. Yes. It's hot as fuck. You're like, oh no, I haven't thought about this problem at all until it's that one hot fucking day that you can't bear.
Yeah, like what percent, I've thought about this, what percent of air conditioners in the city do you think literally don't have any voltage attached to it? Where they literally are just, because by the way, I admit, I've done that. Yes. It's hot as fuck. You're like, oh no, I haven't thought about this problem at all until it's that one hot fucking day that you can't bear.
Oh, right.
Oh, right.
It's like, I'm just going to go to Best Buy. I'm going to buy the AC. You obviously don't have any tools. You slide it in. You're like, you just close the window. Yeah.
It's like, I'm just going to go to Best Buy. I'm going to buy the AC. You obviously don't have any tools. You slide it in. You're like, you just close the window. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
And you know the sad thing is, I don't even think it's necessarily the cost, although it is expensive. I remember I was lugging one up in an apartment when I had first moved to the city. And the super was like, oh shit, you got an air conditioning. I was like, yeah, I got one, man. It's fucking 100 million degrees outside.
And you know the sad thing is, I don't even think it's necessarily the cost, although it is expensive. I remember I was lugging one up in an apartment when I had first moved to the city. And the super was like, oh shit, you got an air conditioning. I was like, yeah, I got one, man. It's fucking 100 million degrees outside.
He's like, I can install that for you for like 200 bucks cash under the table. I'll come up right now and go, ooh, that's a little steep. And I just did it. I just never did it. But the sad thing is, I think if he was like, oh, it'll be really cheap. I was like, oh, but then I have to let you in. It becomes a whole.
He's like, I can install that for you for like 200 bucks cash under the table. I'll come up right now and go, ooh, that's a little steep. And I just did it. I just never did it. But the sad thing is, I think if he was like, oh, it'll be really cheap. I was like, oh, but then I have to let you in. It becomes a whole.
Look, you got to talk to Zoran about this, man, assuming that he wins. You could be like, I want to be the air conditioning commissioner of the city. We don't need a nightlife guy. What we need is an AC czar.
Look, you got to talk to Zoran about this, man, assuming that he wins. You could be like, I want to be the air conditioning commissioner of the city. We don't need a nightlife guy. What we need is an AC czar.
You don't know czars? We don't want czars. That'd be cool for a little bit.
You don't know czars? We don't want czars. That'd be cool for a little bit.
We already have the rat czar. We already have a rat czar.
We already have the rat czar. We already have a rat czar.
By the way, I don't know what that person is doing. I think they did a good job. You think?
By the way, I don't know what that person is doing. I think they did a good job. You think?
I see rat MFs all over the place.
I see rat MFs all over the place.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's right.
No, why?
No, why?
This can't be recent, by the way. This has to be in the last 20 years, maybe?
This can't be recent, by the way. This has to be in the last 20 years, maybe?
Yeah, we got to pull up the 23andMe to get some confirmation on this. I want to see the data. I want to see the facts. Someone run that, and then we'll come back and talk about it next week.
Yeah, we got to pull up the 23andMe to get some confirmation on this. I want to see the data. I want to see the facts. Someone run that, and then we'll come back and talk about it next week.
It's funny because one would think actually the better solution is to try to stop cement from falling in the first place, as opposed to having just a wooden shield everywhere.
It's funny because one would think actually the better solution is to try to stop cement from falling in the first place, as opposed to having just a wooden shield everywhere.
Or just make better concrete. What's wrong with that, guys? Come on. Let's get to the point of causation. Look, we're diagnosing symptoms, not the cause, and that's the problem with the American government.
Or just make better concrete. What's wrong with that, guys? Come on. Let's get to the point of causation. Look, we're diagnosing symptoms, not the cause, and that's the problem with the American government.
I will. Now I fit in with the political dynamics. I finally found my place in upstate New York. Because you're a socialist? No, just because I'm progressive, but reasonable.
I will. Now I fit in with the political dynamics. I finally found my place in upstate New York. Because you're a socialist? No, just because I'm progressive, but reasonable.
Progressive Republican.
Progressive Republican.
What the hell is that?
What the hell is that?
Okay, yeah, that's like a compassionate conservative, i.e. George W. Bush.
Okay, yeah, that's like a compassionate conservative, i.e. George W. Bush.
I know, I know. We should be laughing about that.
I know, I know. We should be laughing about that.
We should get that URL handle.
We should get that URL handle.
SocialistRepublican.com SocialistRepublican.com, yeah.
SocialistRepublican.com SocialistRepublican.com, yeah.
Yeah, it's just your bio. It links to your Instagram account.
Yeah, it's just your bio. It links to your Instagram account.
I'm in. I'll run your campaign. It'll be great.
I'm in. I'll run your campaign. It'll be great.
It'd be so much fun. Yeah, Andrew Kuo. By the way, can we go back to this bachelor party? I've been actually very curious. By the way, we spoke yesterday and I was like, oh, by the way, how'd your weekend go? And then before you started, I go, oh, wait, wait, just save it for the pod.
It'd be so much fun. Yeah, Andrew Kuo. By the way, can we go back to this bachelor party? I've been actually very curious. By the way, we spoke yesterday and I was like, oh, by the way, how'd your weekend go? And then before you started, I go, oh, wait, wait, just save it for the pod.
Yeah, I genuinely want to know and I didn't want to pretend and fake my reaction for this recording just for entertainment purposes.
Yeah, I genuinely want to know and I didn't want to pretend and fake my reaction for this recording just for entertainment purposes.
I'm shocked. I'm actually shocked that it worked. And let me ask you this question, Karim. How upset are you is that the call-in number is connected to you, so you actually have to filter through and forward and download the audio files and then send it to Dale, and then we're going to have to go through it. You've inserted yourself into a work process that I'm sure does not make you thrilled.
I'm shocked. I'm actually shocked that it worked. And let me ask you this question, Karim. How upset are you is that the call-in number is connected to you, so you actually have to filter through and forward and download the audio files and then send it to Dale, and then we're going to have to go through it. You've inserted yourself into a work process that I'm sure does not make you thrilled.
Oh, okay. Were you...
Oh, okay. Were you...
And you're like, I want the one with the rims too, right?
And you're like, I want the one with the rims too, right?
I'm asking a question.
I'm asking a question.
Blake was going so slow.
Blake was going so slow.
He was passenger. Was he even in the passenger seat or was he in the back seat?
He was passenger. Was he even in the passenger seat or was he in the back seat?
Yeah, because he destroyed his Dune buggy. But he's got that Google money, so he's fine.
Yeah, because he destroyed his Dune buggy. But he's got that Google money, so he's fine.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, God forbid you had gone off the cliff. Then I would have been forced to, I don't know, write a bunch of story posts for the Subway Takes Instagram to be like, oh, our...
Yeah, yeah. I mean, God forbid you had gone off the cliff. Then I would have been forced to, I don't know, write a bunch of story posts for the Subway Takes Instagram to be like, oh, our...
I went into immediately crisis control.
I went into immediately crisis control.
The fentanyl is definitely more tragic. The cliff is way more hilarious.
The fentanyl is definitely more tragic. The cliff is way more hilarious.
Oh.
Oh.
No, that's sad. Okay, that's actually sad. Yeah, that's actually sad. I went to high school with the guy who started HQ Trivia. Obviously, we all know the story there, and that was sad when it hit the news.
No, that's sad. Okay, that's actually sad. Yeah, that's actually sad. I went to high school with the guy who started HQ Trivia. Obviously, we all know the story there, and that was sad when it hit the news.
You're literally a cartoon if that were to happen.
You're literally a cartoon if that were to happen.
yeah yeah like i think when it's you know look we all can't live forever and there will be a time when we all pass but i think your funeral will be a funny like fun party i think it'll be a funny funny funeral yeah i think so i think so i mean i think i do hope that if i die well which i will it is in a funny manner a funny entertaining manner
yeah yeah like i think when it's you know look we all can't live forever and there will be a time when we all pass but i think your funeral will be a funny like fun party i think it'll be a funny funny funeral yeah i think so i think so i mean i think i do hope that if i die well which i will it is in a funny manner a funny entertaining manner
Yeah, it's like the guy who started Segway, and then he literally, I think, took a Segway off a fucking cliff. And I was like, wait, is this like an Onion article? And it's like, no, this guy literally did it, and it was by mistake. I mean, obviously, you know, condolences to the family, but that is actually hilarious.
Yeah, it's like the guy who started Segway, and then he literally, I think, took a Segway off a fucking cliff. And I was like, wait, is this like an Onion article? And it's like, no, this guy literally did it, and it was by mistake. I mean, obviously, you know, condolences to the family, but that is actually hilarious.
Everywhere he goes. So, okay, let's actually have a real conversation about this. And this is obviously, as I've mentioned before, I have a strong affinity towards Lev. So this is not by all... a knock on him, but we're going to talk about this in a theoretical way.
Everywhere he goes. So, okay, let's actually have a real conversation about this. And this is obviously, as I've mentioned before, I have a strong affinity towards Lev. So this is not by all... a knock on him, but we're going to talk about this in a theoretical way.
I similarly have a friend who's also very much into drone footage, has traveled the world, travels with his drone, makes a lot of content. Can we just agree, for sake of conversation, that yes, it creates beautiful content, but isn't that just the drone? It's not like you're so great at flying the drone.
I similarly have a friend who's also very much into drone footage, has traveled the world, travels with his drone, makes a lot of content. Can we just agree, for sake of conversation, that yes, it creates beautiful content, but isn't that just the drone? It's not like you're so great at flying the drone.
The drone is just flying, capturing content, and it looks beautiful because it's just a great vantage point, like you're a bird. How much of that is operator artism? I would agree with you.
The drone is just flying, capturing content, and it looks beautiful because it's just a great vantage point, like you're a bird. How much of that is operator artism? I would agree with you.
the rockies are doing the work the rockies are doing the work yeah i mean so but again left puts left puts in a lot of effort into his music choices i knew you were gonna fucking say this i knew so he gets like free license like edm music and it like gets it automatically to like different shots and then the beat drops and it's like oh my god look at the skyline every video sounds like ibiza
the rockies are doing the work the rockies are doing the work yeah i mean so but again left puts left puts in a lot of effort into his music choices i knew you were gonna fucking say this i knew so he gets like free license like edm music and it like gets it automatically to like different shots and then the beat drops and it's like oh my god look at the skyline every video sounds like ibiza
Yeah, and by the way, there's no way you even remember the number. I'm looking at you right now. You don't have it written down. You're not in front of a computer. You wouldn't even be able to tick off the number if you had to.
Yeah, and by the way, there's no way you even remember the number. I'm looking at you right now. You don't have it written down. You're not in front of a computer. You wouldn't even be able to tick off the number if you had to.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I do like how you're, I do like how your pronunciation.
Yeah, I do like how you're, I do like how your pronunciation.
And did he, wait, whoa, because this has been what now, three or four days after, or just only a handful of days. Did he create like a 30 second video and then he circulated among the group thread after the trip to be like, look guys, look what I captured.
And did he, wait, whoa, because this has been what now, three or four days after, or just only a handful of days. Did he create like a 30 second video and then he circulated among the group thread after the trip to be like, look guys, look what I captured.
fuck how many i'm at by the way i'm at like around 290 followers just wanted to give that like where's lev uh rank um versus where my audience development is at i i think he's getting i think he's hitting close to three thousand oh then what is he complaining about that seems like a lot for just basic ass content also he just started this like six months ago oh no he's ripping he shouldn't be complaining that's that's good but his wife bought him this drone with his own money uh
fuck how many i'm at by the way i'm at like around 290 followers just wanted to give that like where's lev uh rank um versus where my audience development is at i i think he's getting i think he's hitting close to three thousand oh then what is he complaining about that seems like a lot for just basic ass content also he just started this like six months ago oh no he's ripping he shouldn't be complaining that's that's good but his wife bought him this drone with his own money uh
What was the actual height of that? 150 feet is very, very high, dude.
What was the actual height of that? 150 feet is very, very high, dude.
Your point is that it was risky and you were like, this motherfucker could die.
Your point is that it was risky and you were like, this motherfucker could die.
Well, yeah. Times 6, it's probably 60 feet. 60 to 72 feet.
Well, yeah. Times 6, it's probably 60 feet. 60 to 72 feet.
That's pretty tall. That's pretty tall. Yeah, for sure.
That's pretty tall. That's pretty tall. Yeah, for sure.
So basically what it means is that your hat where you're like, oh, I went to Rick's bachelor party in Denver and I survived. There were times where it was not clear that everyone was going to make it back.
So basically what it means is that your hat where you're like, oh, I went to Rick's bachelor party in Denver and I survived. There were times where it was not clear that everyone was going to make it back.
Yeah, it manifested everyone's survival.
Yeah, it manifested everyone's survival.
And this just proves that when you go on a trip with men, you need merch.
And this just proves that when you go on a trip with men, you need merch.
Men should have more merch.
Men should have more merch.
Yeah, at least one. Were people into it?
Yeah, at least one. Were people into it?
Okay, so it absolved your sins for being such a dick on the group thread?
Okay, so it absolved your sins for being such a dick on the group thread?
I want to see this hat. Next episode, you should wear it so at least I can see it.
I want to see this hat. Next episode, you should wear it so at least I can see it.
Awesome.
Awesome.
I'm actually so excited for this new segment.
I'm actually so excited for this new segment.
Yeah, we may have to go back and post and change that.
Yeah, we may have to go back and post and change that.
Wait, Wes Anderson is the creator of Wes Anderson?
Wait, Wes Anderson is the creator of Wes Anderson?
Because, yeah, he's the audio expert of the three of us.
Because, yeah, he's the audio expert of the three of us.
I can't kill myself. Um,
I can't kill myself. Um,
Okay. Well, look, I, um, well, let me ask you this question though.
Okay. Well, look, I, um, well, let me ask you this question though.
What that Wes Anderson is trash.
What that Wes Anderson is trash.
Yeah. Um, I would say a hundred percent disagree as well. I would, I would say, yeah, I would, I would, so I have a hundred percent agree with you. A hundred percent disagree with our Oklahoma man. Um, but I think the question I have is if you remove all the set design and you remove the aesthetic, um, Does Wes Anderson still have a signature? I would argue yes.
Yeah. Um, I would say a hundred percent disagree as well. I would, I would say, yeah, I would, I would, so I have a hundred percent agree with you. A hundred percent disagree with our Oklahoma man. Um, but I think the question I have is if you remove all the set design and you remove the aesthetic, um, Does Wes Anderson still have a signature? I would argue yes.
I think a lot of people would say no. And I think that's why people have a beef that the aesthetic trumps the storytelling because it's so distinct. I would argue that for whatever reason, the camera you have on you right now has a distinct kind of Wes Anderson feel as well with the sepia tone you have. That's just my windows. That's just your window. They're just too dirty.
I think a lot of people would say no. And I think that's why people have a beef that the aesthetic trumps the storytelling because it's so distinct. I would argue that for whatever reason, the camera you have on you right now has a distinct kind of Wes Anderson feel as well with the sepia tone you have. That's just my windows. That's just your window. They're just too dirty.
Please call your landlord and have them wash. But I think that's the beef is that it's all the aesthetic kind of tweak, right? The set design, the costuming, even like the haircuts and use of like...
Please call your landlord and have them wash. But I think that's the beef is that it's all the aesthetic kind of tweak, right? The set design, the costuming, even like the haircuts and use of like...
No, no, no, no, no. Let's not do that because I run that email account and I don't want to.
No, no, no, no, no. Let's not do that because I run that email account and I don't want to.
facial hair is very distinct among every single film right like people just have weird bandages on their eyes and it's never explained why it's like why does this guy have an eye patch there's no reason for this character development but regardless i would say no wes anderson is not trash um he just has really figured out what he what he does and he really doesn't paint outside of those lines i know but i think they're his lines they're his lines unless he's got an incredible set designer that doesn't get enough credit
facial hair is very distinct among every single film right like people just have weird bandages on their eyes and it's never explained why it's like why does this guy have an eye patch there's no reason for this character development but regardless i would say no wes anderson is not trash um he just has really figured out what he what he does and he really doesn't paint outside of those lines i know but i think they're his lines they're his lines unless he's got an incredible set designer that doesn't get enough credit
Yes.
Yes.
I mean, he would Scorsese it for sure.
I mean, he would Scorsese it for sure.
Well, Jordan Peele would also Jordan Peele. He has a specific kind of vibe, right? Clint Eastwood. No, please. I don't want to talk about Clint Eastwood. He makes good movies. Does he? Yes. I don't know. That's a different conversation. The Mule. I actually never saw that. Awful. Awful.
Well, Jordan Peele would also Jordan Peele. He has a specific kind of vibe, right? Clint Eastwood. No, please. I don't want to talk about Clint Eastwood. He makes good movies. Does he? Yes. I don't know. That's a different conversation. The Mule. I actually never saw that. Awful. Awful.
I know. I actually had to watch that, obviously, for cultural purposes. But no, that was not a good movie at all. He's just yelling the entire time.
I know. I actually had to watch that, obviously, for cultural purposes. But no, that was not a good movie at all. He's just yelling the entire time.
That's like Clint Eastwood's acting ability. He just yells.
That's like Clint Eastwood's acting ability. He just yells.
New number? Or the idea is that every week we change the number. It's a moving target.
New number? Or the idea is that every week we change the number. It's a moving target.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. So we landed on that. Let's, I want to, I want to hear the, this is fun, but what's the next one? Or unless we're only doing one or two, let's do, let's do more.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. So we landed on that. Let's, I want to, I want to hear the, this is fun, but what's the next one? Or unless we're only doing one or two, let's do, let's do more.
Odds are he went to film school.
Odds are he went to film school.
Dude, I'm voting for you. What is this going to be? Republican Socialism? What is the URL? Where do I sign up for the mailing list? SocialistRepublicans.com. Dude, I'm voting for you, man. I love that platform.
Dude, I'm voting for you. What is this going to be? Republican Socialism? What is the URL? Where do I sign up for the mailing list? SocialistRepublicans.com. Dude, I'm voting for you, man. I love that platform.
Okay, got it. It's a real mouthful.
Okay, got it. It's a real mouthful.
By the way, just so you know, which makes me realize how much focus you spent on the merch drop, is that we did actually drop that merch. It was not one of our more successful endeavors.
By the way, just so you know, which makes me realize how much focus you spent on the merch drop, is that we did actually drop that merch. It was not one of our more successful endeavors.
I mean, I think they know that they've got that skill and that's why they've called in.
I mean, I think they know that they've got that skill and that's why they've called in.
Yeah. Unless you ran it through AI or something, but yes, I agree.
Yeah. Unless you ran it through AI or something, but yes, I agree.
Although the one thing I haven't had a chance to forward to you, Kareem, and I think you'll very much appreciate this, is I literally just received an email in the Subway Takes Gmail account from a guy who's saying, I want the merch. I need merch. I specifically want merch with Lil Metro on it. How do I get it? Tell me how I get it. Send them the link.
Although the one thing I haven't had a chance to forward to you, Kareem, and I think you'll very much appreciate this, is I literally just received an email in the Subway Takes Gmail account from a guy who's saying, I want the merch. I need merch. I specifically want merch with Lil Metro on it. How do I get it? Tell me how I get it. Send them the link.
can agree with our friend here that you're never a whole person because it's always a work in progress yeah but you're somebody okay i get that but those are all just like external things you don't think you should know like at your core like your beingness like you're a human being like the the the essence of your spirit you don't think you're ever a whole and you figure that shit out god i would fucking hope so
can agree with our friend here that you're never a whole person because it's always a work in progress yeah but you're somebody okay i get that but those are all just like external things you don't think you should know like at your core like your beingness like you're a human being like the the the essence of your spirit you don't think you're ever a whole and you figure that shit out god i would fucking hope so
I'm 100% disagree on that, actually.
I'm 100% disagree on that, actually.
I could actually not disagree more with the sentiment.
I could actually not disagree more with the sentiment.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, but now I'm enlightened.
Yeah, but now I'm enlightened.
Well, it sounds like you haven't read The Power of Now.
Well, it sounds like you haven't read The Power of Now.
I'll sleep on it.
I'll sleep on it.
All right, I'll come back and let you know how I feel about it in a week.
All right, I'll come back and let you know how I feel about it in a week.
Yeah, that seemed really successful. That was a good idea to do that segment. I'm into that.
Yeah, that seemed really successful. That was a good idea to do that segment. I'm into that.
Great idea. Maybe we should do it earlier. Like, yeah, earlier in the episode. Yeah, I think that makes sense.
Great idea. Maybe we should do it earlier. Like, yeah, earlier in the episode. Yeah, I think that makes sense.
Oh, so yeah, that's the carrot we dangle. This is called programming strategy. Okay, I got that.
Oh, so yeah, that's the carrot we dangle. This is called programming strategy. Okay, I got that.
Yeah. And then we're like, oh, that's genius.
Yeah. And then we're like, oh, that's genius.
And then usually it's like, oh, that didn't work out. Yeah. We should try something different.
And then usually it's like, oh, that didn't work out. Yeah. We should try something different.
No, I think we should open up with a catch-up. Be like, oh, what's good? And this is selfish. I genuinely did want to know how your Denver bachelor party did go. I'd be annoyed if I had to wait 30 minutes to have that conversation with you. I'd like to hear what's up. I'd like to talk about Dale's no-sleeve shirt because that's just a great conversation before we get to the public takes. But...
No, I think we should open up with a catch-up. Be like, oh, what's good? And this is selfish. I genuinely did want to know how your Denver bachelor party did go. I'd be annoyed if I had to wait 30 minutes to have that conversation with you. I'd like to hear what's up. I'd like to talk about Dale's no-sleeve shirt because that's just a great conversation before we get to the public takes. But...
I'm 100 million percent going to send them the link. Send them the link.
I'm 100 million percent going to send them the link. Send them the link.
I love that, Dale, you gave us nine options. You gave us nine options to select from. Usually when people are like, yo, there's three directions here. You gave nine. And just so you know, I clicked all nine. I had a wonderful time listening to all nine. It was really the highlight of my day, actually.
I love that, Dale, you gave us nine options. You gave us nine options to select from. Usually when people are like, yo, there's three directions here. You gave nine. And just so you know, I clicked all nine. I had a wonderful time listening to all nine. It was really the highlight of my day, actually.
The Buble out the gate, take number one, I was like, oh, shit. I was like, we're about to seriously go on a journey. I could tell it was going to be a great experience clicking all nine links.
The Buble out the gate, take number one, I was like, oh, shit. I was like, we're about to seriously go on a journey. I could tell it was going to be a great experience clicking all nine links.
That's fun. That is fun, actually. That's pretty fun.
That's fun. That is fun, actually. That's pretty fun.
Look, I love the envisioning. This is the vision I have, is that there's a fan out there who is listening to the show while driving to work. They're like, oh shit. They pull her to the side of the road. They pause the episode. They rewind it. They're listening intently. They write down the number. Like, I got to remember this.
Look, I love the envisioning. This is the vision I have, is that there's a fan out there who is listening to the show while driving to work. They're like, oh shit. They pull her to the side of the road. They pause the episode. They rewind it. They're listening intently. They write down the number. Like, I got to remember this.
SubwayTakes.org? Or we lost that URL and now it's just a fourth wall thing.
SubwayTakes.org? Or we lost that URL and now it's just a fourth wall thing.
I'm envisioning that super fan who's so enthusiastic that they need to write down the number so they can call in.
I'm envisioning that super fan who's so enthusiastic that they need to write down the number so they can call in.
Final destination.
Final destination.
Yeah, he was the OG. I have no idea, actually.
Yeah, he was the OG. I have no idea, actually.
Yeah, for sure. Who's his team? Who's his team? Should we reach out?
Yeah, for sure. Who's his team? Who's his team? Should we reach out?
We don't reach out to anyone, but the person we will reach out to is Devin Sawa.
We don't reach out to anyone, but the person we will reach out to is Devin Sawa.
What's the answer?
What's the answer?
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense for you.
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense for you.
Well, I mean, the bit is that he doesn't know. Between him and Matt Damon, he obviously didn't do any of the work, right? We all agree with that.
Well, I mean, the bit is that he doesn't know. Between him and Matt Damon, he obviously didn't do any of the work, right? We all agree with that.
Okay. I like that take.
Okay. I like that take.
Are you? No. That's crazy. First of all, that's crazy.
Are you? No. That's crazy. First of all, that's crazy.
That was our least successful, although actually I don't know, but one of our definitely non-successful endeavors where we spent, God, I don't know, was it like $10,000 on that shoot?
That was our least successful, although actually I don't know, but one of our definitely non-successful endeavors where we spent, God, I don't know, was it like $10,000 on that shoot?
Well, yeah. Well, the problem is Matt Damon doesn't really act anymore, I feel like. I don't see him in anything. And Ben Affleck's still in a bunch of shit.
Well, yeah. Well, the problem is Matt Damon doesn't really act anymore, I feel like. I don't see him in anything. And Ben Affleck's still in a bunch of shit.
We should do that and then get a brand deal with Dunkin'.
We should do that and then get a brand deal with Dunkin'.
I'm thinking business right now. Yeah, I like that.
I'm thinking business right now. Yeah, I like that.
With Kareem Rama.
With Kareem Rama.
Yeah. 6 p.m., man. This is crazy. We recorded until 6 p.m. This is a real work day.
Yeah. 6 p.m., man. This is crazy. We recorded until 6 p.m. This is a real work day.
Look, guys.
Look, guys.
There are so many birds around me. It's unavoidable. You're always going to get the soundtrack of nature. Get used to it.
There are so many birds around me. It's unavoidable. You're always going to get the soundtrack of nature. Get used to it.
Yeah, you should, though. I don't see why you can't just break it down during a Tiny Gun concert and just be like, yo, we're trying out some new things. New thangs.
Yeah, you should, though. I don't see why you can't just break it down during a Tiny Gun concert and just be like, yo, we're trying out some new things. New thangs.
Yeah, new thangs. And you just do that. And people are like, oh, my God. It's like the Riz Ahmed.
Yeah, new thangs. And you just do that. And people are like, oh, my God. It's like the Riz Ahmed.
Like Linkin Park?
Like Linkin Park?
There's an opening for that. There's a big opening for that. I think people want that. People want that, Kareem.
There's an opening for that. There's a big opening for that. I think people want that. People want that, Kareem.
Yeah, we lost all that money. I don't think we ever made money on any of that back.
Yeah, we lost all that money. I don't think we ever made money on any of that back.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Bye.
Okay. Bye.
Sick.
Sick.
Yeah, you survived.
Yeah, you survived.
What?
What?
Oh, okay. Never heard of it.
Oh, okay. Never heard of it.
Well, who picked it?
Well, who picked it?
I don't know who these characters are, but continue with the story.
I don't know who these characters are, but continue with the story.
Big Dick Man?
Big Dick Man?
Oh, Big Dick. Oh, okay. Your M's and N's sound very similar.
Oh, Big Dick. Oh, okay. Your M's and N's sound very similar.
I'm ESL. That is your excuse. I'll give you that.
I'm ESL. That is your excuse. I'll give you that.
So yeah, he was the fixer. He was the Michael Clayton of the trip. He was the Michael Clayton of the trip. What did he prepare? What was on the itinerary as cruise director?
So yeah, he was the fixer. He was the Michael Clayton of the trip. He was the Michael Clayton of the trip. What did he prepare? What was on the itinerary as cruise director?
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I do. He's such a handsome man.
I do. He's such a handsome man.
I do, because in my mind, every time I've seen LeVon, he's always wearing a leather blade.
I do, because in my mind, every time I've seen LeVon, he's always wearing a leather blade.
Oh, LeVon. I've always assumed... Oh, like the bakery. I've always assumed that when I see him, he's going to be wearing a leather blazer. I don't care if it's in the middle of summer, if it's in the middle of winter. In my mind, when I envision him, he's always wearing a leather blazer. And that, to me, is the peak of being swarthy and cool.
Oh, LeVon. I've always assumed... Oh, like the bakery. I've always assumed that when I see him, he's going to be wearing a leather blazer. I don't care if it's in the middle of summer, if it's in the middle of winter. In my mind, when I envision him, he's always wearing a leather blazer. And that, to me, is the peak of being swarthy and cool.
Yeah, now it's permanently encoded in my brain.
Yeah, now it's permanently encoded in my brain.
Yeah, he's extremely jacked. Right before we started hitting record, I was commenting on the fact that Dale is not wearing sleeves, and his arms look huge. But I don't know if that's just the immediate post-workout pump or if he's always that jacked. I don't really know.
Yeah, he's extremely jacked. Right before we started hitting record, I was commenting on the fact that Dale is not wearing sleeves, and his arms look huge. But I don't know if that's just the immediate post-workout pump or if he's always that jacked. I don't really know.
Yeah, who can pull that off? I don't know anyone that can pull that off except him.
Yeah, who can pull that off? I don't know anyone that can pull that off except him.
But would Dale's not have any sleeves?
But would Dale's not have any sleeves?
And that would be a great look. Look into it, Dale. You should look into that.
And that would be a great look. Look into it, Dale. You should look into that.
I know. Marcus, please. We're doing business here. Big business.
I know. Marcus, please. We're doing business here. Big business.
Okay, he's quiet.
Okay, he's quiet.
What was not nice about it?
What was not nice about it?
Right, okay. So it wasn't like the Blue Lagoon where there's like a five-star spa, hotel, restaurant connected to it.
Right, okay. So it wasn't like the Blue Lagoon where there's like a five-star spa, hotel, restaurant connected to it.
Oh, there's also a lot of places in New York you can get gonorrhea from, so let's not bash them unnecessarily.
Oh, there's also a lot of places in New York you can get gonorrhea from, so let's not bash them unnecessarily.
I did, and actually it was the flattering location from what I recall. Well, it's still Bath House. It's still Bath House. Let's take down the brand.
I did, and actually it was the flattering location from what I recall. Well, it's still Bath House. It's still Bath House. Let's take down the brand.
Yeah, I don't know if they want to sponsor an episode.
Yeah, I don't know if they want to sponsor an episode.
Well, that's just because you live young, wild, and free.
Well, that's just because you live young, wild, and free.
And you know what was crazy? Because I read that in page six or whatever, and then literally an hour later, I got an email from Bathhouse where they didn't say anything about what was happening. They intentionally disregarded all the buzz on the internet. All they said, the allegations, again, just allegations, And all they said was like, hey, we're doing great.
And you know what was crazy? Because I read that in page six or whatever, and then literally an hour later, I got an email from Bathhouse where they didn't say anything about what was happening. They intentionally disregarded all the buzz on the internet. All they said, the allegations, again, just allegations, And all they said was like, hey, we're doing great.
By the way, I think there's heavily discounted passes available if you want to come through this weekend. And just acknowledge the news.
By the way, I think there's heavily discounted passes available if you want to come through this weekend. And just acknowledge the news.
That's how you know they're guilty. Because if they weren't
That's how you know they're guilty. Because if they weren't
By the way, how can you get syphilis and gonorrhea? I don't know how STDs actually work, but it feels like you can't just get it by sitting in a pool of other dirty-ass people, can you?
By the way, how can you get syphilis and gonorrhea? I don't know how STDs actually work, but it feels like you can't just get it by sitting in a pool of other dirty-ass people, can you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think there's piss in that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think there's piss in that?
That's disgusting.
That's disgusting.
Right, right.
Right, right.
She probably has syphilis. Yeah, I get that. I get that. By the way, I'm sure those ads always had hot girls in them. I'm pretty sure the marketing genius is like, oh, let's just throw some chicks in that.
She probably has syphilis. Yeah, I get that. I get that. By the way, I'm sure those ads always had hot girls in them. I'm pretty sure the marketing genius is like, oh, let's just throw some chicks in that.
Yeah. And by the way, I think you're right. I think the moment you start seeing Instagram ads pop up for a company, rest assured that company is failing and not doing very well.
Yeah. And by the way, I think you're right. I think the moment you start seeing Instagram ads pop up for a company, rest assured that company is failing and not doing very well.
They're like, let's get the marketing funnel going. Things are looking real dire.
They're like, let's get the marketing funnel going. Things are looking real dire.
So what you're saying is we're not going back there?
So what you're saying is we're not going back there?
I know. That's the first time I went there is where we had me, you, and Hasan, front of the pod, Hasan Ali Khan. And we had a man's... Was it like a men's retreat? Is that what you would call it? Or men's work retreat where we just hung out, the three of us, late night and had a chat?
I know. That's the first time I went there is where we had me, you, and Hasan, front of the pod, Hasan Ali Khan. And we had a man's... Was it like a men's retreat? Is that what you would call it? Or men's work retreat where we just hung out, the three of us, late night and had a chat?
Yeah. What caused you to change? You just started wanting for the fancier things and you're like, oh, this is a little too grimy, too real for me? No, bro.
Yeah. What caused you to change? You just started wanting for the fancier things and you're like, oh, this is a little too grimy, too real for me? No, bro.
Right. You can't get the eucalyptus leaves. You can't hang out and get the borscht. You don't have the time for it. You're a man on the go. You're a man in a hurry.
Right. You can't get the eucalyptus leaves. You can't hang out and get the borscht. You don't have the time for it. You're a man on the go. You're a man in a hurry.
Right, and where does a great husband fit within all that?
Right, and where does a great husband fit within all that?
Okay, got it.
Okay, got it.
Yeah, where'd you guys go?
Yeah, where'd you guys go?
Yeah, and you also did a date night right before, too. You bookended the trip by being a good man.
Yeah, and you also did a date night right before, too. You bookended the trip by being a good man.
Oh, okay. Got it. I mean, it's not the old Pastis, but the new Pastis works.
Oh, okay. Got it. I mean, it's not the old Pastis, but the new Pastis works.
No.
No.
Holy crap.
Holy crap.
One state.
One state.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fascinating.
Fascinating.
They are thin socks.
They are thin socks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Literally.
Literally.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Is that easily confirmable one way or another? Why does there need a lore and a backstory?
Because it's just too real and you're like, oh shit. The mortality thought kicks in and you're like, oh shit, this could happen.
What do you mean? I've been in nature? I've left my premises?
There are many ways to die. That is correct. Danger abounds.
Yeah, no, that's right. One definite fear is an air conditioner falling. That feels brutal. Absolutely brutal.
You added the G to that.
Yeah, like what percent, I've thought about this, what percent of air conditioners in the city do you think literally don't have any voltage attached to it? Where they literally are just, because by the way, I admit, I've done that. Yes. It's hot as fuck. You're like, oh no, I haven't thought about this problem at all until it's that one hot fucking day that you can't bear.
Oh, right.
It's like, I'm just going to go to Best Buy. I'm going to buy the AC. You obviously don't have any tools. You slide it in. You're like, you just close the window. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And you know the sad thing is, I don't even think it's necessarily the cost, although it is expensive. I remember I was lugging one up in an apartment when I had first moved to the city. And the super was like, oh shit, you got an air conditioning. I was like, yeah, I got one, man. It's fucking 100 million degrees outside.
He's like, I can install that for you for like 200 bucks cash under the table. I'll come up right now and go, ooh, that's a little steep. And I just did it. I just never did it. But the sad thing is, I think if he was like, oh, it'll be really cheap. I was like, oh, but then I have to let you in. It becomes a whole.
Look, you got to talk to Zoran about this, man, assuming that he wins. You could be like, I want to be the air conditioning commissioner of the city. We don't need a nightlife guy. What we need is an AC czar.
You don't know czars? We don't want czars. That'd be cool for a little bit.
We already have the rat czar. We already have a rat czar.
By the way, I don't know what that person is doing. I think they did a good job. You think?
I see rat MFs all over the place.
Yeah, that's right.
No, why?
This can't be recent, by the way. This has to be in the last 20 years, maybe?
Yeah, we got to pull up the 23andMe to get some confirmation on this. I want to see the data. I want to see the facts. Someone run that, and then we'll come back and talk about it next week.
It's funny because one would think actually the better solution is to try to stop cement from falling in the first place, as opposed to having just a wooden shield everywhere.
Or just make better concrete. What's wrong with that, guys? Come on. Let's get to the point of causation. Look, we're diagnosing symptoms, not the cause, and that's the problem with the American government.
I will. Now I fit in with the political dynamics. I finally found my place in upstate New York. Because you're a socialist? No, just because I'm progressive, but reasonable.
Progressive Republican.
What the hell is that?
Okay, yeah, that's like a compassionate conservative, i.e. George W. Bush.
I know, I know. We should be laughing about that.
We should get that URL handle.
SocialistRepublican.com SocialistRepublican.com, yeah.
Yeah, it's just your bio. It links to your Instagram account.
I'm in. I'll run your campaign. It'll be great.
It'd be so much fun. Yeah, Andrew Kuo. By the way, can we go back to this bachelor party? I've been actually very curious. By the way, we spoke yesterday and I was like, oh, by the way, how'd your weekend go? And then before you started, I go, oh, wait, wait, just save it for the pod.
Yeah, I genuinely want to know and I didn't want to pretend and fake my reaction for this recording just for entertainment purposes.
I'm shocked. I'm actually shocked that it worked. And let me ask you this question, Karim. How upset are you is that the call-in number is connected to you, so you actually have to filter through and forward and download the audio files and then send it to Dale, and then we're going to have to go through it. You've inserted yourself into a work process that I'm sure does not make you thrilled.
Oh, okay. Were you...
And you're like, I want the one with the rims too, right?
I'm asking a question.
Blake was going so slow.
He was passenger. Was he even in the passenger seat or was he in the back seat?
Yeah, because he destroyed his Dune buggy. But he's got that Google money, so he's fine.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, God forbid you had gone off the cliff. Then I would have been forced to, I don't know, write a bunch of story posts for the Subway Takes Instagram to be like, oh, our...
I went into immediately crisis control.
The fentanyl is definitely more tragic. The cliff is way more hilarious.
Oh.
No, that's sad. Okay, that's actually sad. Yeah, that's actually sad. I went to high school with the guy who started HQ Trivia. Obviously, we all know the story there, and that was sad when it hit the news.
You're literally a cartoon if that were to happen.
yeah yeah like i think when it's you know look we all can't live forever and there will be a time when we all pass but i think your funeral will be a funny like fun party i think it'll be a funny funny funeral yeah i think so i think so i mean i think i do hope that if i die well which i will it is in a funny manner a funny entertaining manner
Yeah, it's like the guy who started Segway, and then he literally, I think, took a Segway off a fucking cliff. And I was like, wait, is this like an Onion article? And it's like, no, this guy literally did it, and it was by mistake. I mean, obviously, you know, condolences to the family, but that is actually hilarious.
Everywhere he goes. So, okay, let's actually have a real conversation about this. And this is obviously, as I've mentioned before, I have a strong affinity towards Lev. So this is not by all... a knock on him, but we're going to talk about this in a theoretical way.
I similarly have a friend who's also very much into drone footage, has traveled the world, travels with his drone, makes a lot of content. Can we just agree, for sake of conversation, that yes, it creates beautiful content, but isn't that just the drone? It's not like you're so great at flying the drone.
The drone is just flying, capturing content, and it looks beautiful because it's just a great vantage point, like you're a bird. How much of that is operator artism? I would agree with you.
the rockies are doing the work the rockies are doing the work yeah i mean so but again left puts left puts in a lot of effort into his music choices i knew you were gonna fucking say this i knew so he gets like free license like edm music and it like gets it automatically to like different shots and then the beat drops and it's like oh my god look at the skyline every video sounds like ibiza
Yeah, and by the way, there's no way you even remember the number. I'm looking at you right now. You don't have it written down. You're not in front of a computer. You wouldn't even be able to tick off the number if you had to.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I do like how you're, I do like how your pronunciation.
And did he, wait, whoa, because this has been what now, three or four days after, or just only a handful of days. Did he create like a 30 second video and then he circulated among the group thread after the trip to be like, look guys, look what I captured.
fuck how many i'm at by the way i'm at like around 290 followers just wanted to give that like where's lev uh rank um versus where my audience development is at i i think he's getting i think he's hitting close to three thousand oh then what is he complaining about that seems like a lot for just basic ass content also he just started this like six months ago oh no he's ripping he shouldn't be complaining that's that's good but his wife bought him this drone with his own money uh
What was the actual height of that? 150 feet is very, very high, dude.
Your point is that it was risky and you were like, this motherfucker could die.
Well, yeah. Times 6, it's probably 60 feet. 60 to 72 feet.
That's pretty tall. That's pretty tall. Yeah, for sure.
So basically what it means is that your hat where you're like, oh, I went to Rick's bachelor party in Denver and I survived. There were times where it was not clear that everyone was going to make it back.
Yeah, it manifested everyone's survival.
And this just proves that when you go on a trip with men, you need merch.
Men should have more merch.
Yeah, at least one. Were people into it?
Okay, so it absolved your sins for being such a dick on the group thread?
I want to see this hat. Next episode, you should wear it so at least I can see it.
Awesome.
I'm actually so excited for this new segment.
Yeah, we may have to go back and post and change that.
Wait, Wes Anderson is the creator of Wes Anderson?
Because, yeah, he's the audio expert of the three of us.
I can't kill myself. Um,
Okay. Well, look, I, um, well, let me ask you this question though.
What that Wes Anderson is trash.
Yeah. Um, I would say a hundred percent disagree as well. I would, I would say, yeah, I would, I would, so I have a hundred percent agree with you. A hundred percent disagree with our Oklahoma man. Um, but I think the question I have is if you remove all the set design and you remove the aesthetic, um, Does Wes Anderson still have a signature? I would argue yes.
I think a lot of people would say no. And I think that's why people have a beef that the aesthetic trumps the storytelling because it's so distinct. I would argue that for whatever reason, the camera you have on you right now has a distinct kind of Wes Anderson feel as well with the sepia tone you have. That's just my windows. That's just your window. They're just too dirty.
Please call your landlord and have them wash. But I think that's the beef is that it's all the aesthetic kind of tweak, right? The set design, the costuming, even like the haircuts and use of like...
No, no, no, no, no. Let's not do that because I run that email account and I don't want to.
facial hair is very distinct among every single film right like people just have weird bandages on their eyes and it's never explained why it's like why does this guy have an eye patch there's no reason for this character development but regardless i would say no wes anderson is not trash um he just has really figured out what he what he does and he really doesn't paint outside of those lines i know but i think they're his lines they're his lines unless he's got an incredible set designer that doesn't get enough credit
Yes.
I mean, he would Scorsese it for sure.
Well, Jordan Peele would also Jordan Peele. He has a specific kind of vibe, right? Clint Eastwood. No, please. I don't want to talk about Clint Eastwood. He makes good movies. Does he? Yes. I don't know. That's a different conversation. The Mule. I actually never saw that. Awful. Awful.
I know. I actually had to watch that, obviously, for cultural purposes. But no, that was not a good movie at all. He's just yelling the entire time.
That's like Clint Eastwood's acting ability. He just yells.
New number? Or the idea is that every week we change the number. It's a moving target.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. So we landed on that. Let's, I want to, I want to hear the, this is fun, but what's the next one? Or unless we're only doing one or two, let's do, let's do more.
Odds are he went to film school.
Dude, I'm voting for you. What is this going to be? Republican Socialism? What is the URL? Where do I sign up for the mailing list? SocialistRepublicans.com. Dude, I'm voting for you, man. I love that platform.
Okay, got it. It's a real mouthful.
By the way, just so you know, which makes me realize how much focus you spent on the merch drop, is that we did actually drop that merch. It was not one of our more successful endeavors.
I mean, I think they know that they've got that skill and that's why they've called in.
Yeah. Unless you ran it through AI or something, but yes, I agree.
Although the one thing I haven't had a chance to forward to you, Kareem, and I think you'll very much appreciate this, is I literally just received an email in the Subway Takes Gmail account from a guy who's saying, I want the merch. I need merch. I specifically want merch with Lil Metro on it. How do I get it? Tell me how I get it. Send them the link.
can agree with our friend here that you're never a whole person because it's always a work in progress yeah but you're somebody okay i get that but those are all just like external things you don't think you should know like at your core like your beingness like you're a human being like the the the essence of your spirit you don't think you're ever a whole and you figure that shit out god i would fucking hope so
I'm 100% disagree on that, actually.
I could actually not disagree more with the sentiment.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, but now I'm enlightened.
Well, it sounds like you haven't read The Power of Now.
I'll sleep on it.
All right, I'll come back and let you know how I feel about it in a week.
Yeah, that seemed really successful. That was a good idea to do that segment. I'm into that.
Great idea. Maybe we should do it earlier. Like, yeah, earlier in the episode. Yeah, I think that makes sense.
Oh, so yeah, that's the carrot we dangle. This is called programming strategy. Okay, I got that.
Yeah. And then we're like, oh, that's genius.
And then usually it's like, oh, that didn't work out. Yeah. We should try something different.
No, I think we should open up with a catch-up. Be like, oh, what's good? And this is selfish. I genuinely did want to know how your Denver bachelor party did go. I'd be annoyed if I had to wait 30 minutes to have that conversation with you. I'd like to hear what's up. I'd like to talk about Dale's no-sleeve shirt because that's just a great conversation before we get to the public takes. But...
I'm 100 million percent going to send them the link. Send them the link.
I love that, Dale, you gave us nine options. You gave us nine options to select from. Usually when people are like, yo, there's three directions here. You gave nine. And just so you know, I clicked all nine. I had a wonderful time listening to all nine. It was really the highlight of my day, actually.
The Buble out the gate, take number one, I was like, oh, shit. I was like, we're about to seriously go on a journey. I could tell it was going to be a great experience clicking all nine links.
That's fun. That is fun, actually. That's pretty fun.
Look, I love the envisioning. This is the vision I have, is that there's a fan out there who is listening to the show while driving to work. They're like, oh shit. They pull her to the side of the road. They pause the episode. They rewind it. They're listening intently. They write down the number. Like, I got to remember this.
SubwayTakes.org? Or we lost that URL and now it's just a fourth wall thing.
I'm envisioning that super fan who's so enthusiastic that they need to write down the number so they can call in.
Final destination.
Yeah, he was the OG. I have no idea, actually.
Yeah, for sure. Who's his team? Who's his team? Should we reach out?
We don't reach out to anyone, but the person we will reach out to is Devin Sawa.
What's the answer?
Okay.
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense for you.
Well, I mean, the bit is that he doesn't know. Between him and Matt Damon, he obviously didn't do any of the work, right? We all agree with that.
Okay. I like that take.
Are you? No. That's crazy. First of all, that's crazy.
That was our least successful, although actually I don't know, but one of our definitely non-successful endeavors where we spent, God, I don't know, was it like $10,000 on that shoot?
Well, yeah. Well, the problem is Matt Damon doesn't really act anymore, I feel like. I don't see him in anything. And Ben Affleck's still in a bunch of shit.
We should do that and then get a brand deal with Dunkin'.
I'm thinking business right now. Yeah, I like that.
With Kareem Rama.
Yeah. 6 p.m., man. This is crazy. We recorded until 6 p.m. This is a real work day.
Look, guys.
There are so many birds around me. It's unavoidable. You're always going to get the soundtrack of nature. Get used to it.
Yeah, you should, though. I don't see why you can't just break it down during a Tiny Gun concert and just be like, yo, we're trying out some new things. New thangs.
Yeah, new thangs. And you just do that. And people are like, oh, my God. It's like the Riz Ahmed.
Like Linkin Park?
There's an opening for that. There's a big opening for that. I think people want that. People want that, Kareem.
Yeah, we lost all that money. I don't think we ever made money on any of that back.
Okay.
Okay. Bye.
Sick.
Yeah, you survived.
What?
Oh, okay. Never heard of it.
Well, who picked it?
I don't know who these characters are, but continue with the story.
Big Dick Man?
Oh, Big Dick. Oh, okay. Your M's and N's sound very similar.
I'm ESL. That is your excuse. I'll give you that.
So yeah, he was the fixer. He was the Michael Clayton of the trip. He was the Michael Clayton of the trip. What did he prepare? What was on the itinerary as cruise director?
Yeah, that makes sense.
I do. He's such a handsome man.
I do, because in my mind, every time I've seen LeVon, he's always wearing a leather blade.
Oh, LeVon. I've always assumed... Oh, like the bakery. I've always assumed that when I see him, he's going to be wearing a leather blazer. I don't care if it's in the middle of summer, if it's in the middle of winter. In my mind, when I envision him, he's always wearing a leather blazer. And that, to me, is the peak of being swarthy and cool.
Yeah, now it's permanently encoded in my brain.
Yeah, he's extremely jacked. Right before we started hitting record, I was commenting on the fact that Dale is not wearing sleeves, and his arms look huge. But I don't know if that's just the immediate post-workout pump or if he's always that jacked. I don't really know.
Yeah, who can pull that off? I don't know anyone that can pull that off except him.
But would Dale's not have any sleeves?
And that would be a great look. Look into it, Dale. You should look into that.
I know. Marcus, please. We're doing business here. Big business.
Okay, he's quiet.
What was not nice about it?
Right, okay. So it wasn't like the Blue Lagoon where there's like a five-star spa, hotel, restaurant connected to it.
Oh, there's also a lot of places in New York you can get gonorrhea from, so let's not bash them unnecessarily.
I did, and actually it was the flattering location from what I recall. Well, it's still Bath House. It's still Bath House. Let's take down the brand.
Yeah, I don't know if they want to sponsor an episode.
Well, that's just because you live young, wild, and free.
And you know what was crazy? Because I read that in page six or whatever, and then literally an hour later, I got an email from Bathhouse where they didn't say anything about what was happening. They intentionally disregarded all the buzz on the internet. All they said, the allegations, again, just allegations, And all they said was like, hey, we're doing great.
By the way, I think there's heavily discounted passes available if you want to come through this weekend. And just acknowledge the news.
That's how you know they're guilty. Because if they weren't
By the way, how can you get syphilis and gonorrhea? I don't know how STDs actually work, but it feels like you can't just get it by sitting in a pool of other dirty-ass people, can you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think there's piss in that?
That's disgusting.
Right, right.
She probably has syphilis. Yeah, I get that. I get that. By the way, I'm sure those ads always had hot girls in them. I'm pretty sure the marketing genius is like, oh, let's just throw some chicks in that.
Yeah. And by the way, I think you're right. I think the moment you start seeing Instagram ads pop up for a company, rest assured that company is failing and not doing very well.
They're like, let's get the marketing funnel going. Things are looking real dire.
So what you're saying is we're not going back there?
I know. That's the first time I went there is where we had me, you, and Hasan, front of the pod, Hasan Ali Khan. And we had a man's... Was it like a men's retreat? Is that what you would call it? Or men's work retreat where we just hung out, the three of us, late night and had a chat?
Yeah. What caused you to change? You just started wanting for the fancier things and you're like, oh, this is a little too grimy, too real for me? No, bro.
Right. You can't get the eucalyptus leaves. You can't hang out and get the borscht. You don't have the time for it. You're a man on the go. You're a man in a hurry.
Right, and where does a great husband fit within all that?
Okay, got it.
Yeah, where'd you guys go?
Yeah, and you also did a date night right before, too. You bookended the trip by being a good man.
Oh, okay. Got it. I mean, it's not the old Pastis, but the new Pastis works.
Oh, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, look, now I'm doing it too. That's great. And by the way, I love that you're giving me credit for getting things done. We have to agree that I did not get a guest for this episode.
That did not happen.
Well, look, it's not really me. I think we've decided that it's someone else.
That's true. That's true. What I'm going to blame it on is that it was a holiday weekend. People were not responsive. And so now it's just a boys episode.
Where are they going to comment that? Where do the comments go?
Oh, okay. That's nice.
Okay. All right. Are we ready for this feedback?
Oh, yes. So people can call in.
Yeah, sorry.
You just Googled it and they're like, oh, you can get one?
Yeah, I mean, I can give you the number. I mean, what's the number?
Star 67.
Yeah, do you have the number? Oh, wait. Are you saying that you don't have the number?
I don't think that's a thing. This is so confusing. Look, Google's a mess.
By the way, someone hit us up with a Google bag. By the way, what do you want people to do with this phone number? What would they say if they left us a message?
Is it a good number?
What do you mean?
Yeah, but is it a good number? No, it's not.
I would rather have no number than a New Jersey number, honestly.
I don't give a shit. No, it's not.
Can we actually talk about Garden State for a second if we have the time?
great that's a good number actually is it a good number it is a good number it's like not like a weird mix of numbers it's a nice kind of um number that flows yeah it's nice yeah and i was i was there was a couple really good numbers last time when i was trying to get google voice but for some reason i was banned but now we have it this is big time this is huge this is big time what if we what if we don't get that many messages though that's fine okay we just have to keep plugging it on it on every show
Because I just, because I was just talking, while I was just talking about this, like, that era of New York City, like, the shins and whatever, all this shit, like, is that a movie that you think is, like, iconically representative of, like, an era, like, girls type shit?
Like, or is it just, like, oh, wow, like, it's actually a terrible movie that has no cultural significance, and I'm so glad we're past that phase. Mm.
Like it brings a smile to your face? In what sense?
He's in the doldrums. He is definitely in the doldrums. Hollywood hasn't worked out for him. He has to come back home.
I think we're having a conversation about the decline of print media. We should have that conversation.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And I also remember you were playing a lot of hoops. I was hooping. Yeah, you really were hooping because I was talking about you were hooping.
No, but you're also hooping in your bed. Did you have a hoop behind your house or something? You're shooting hoops with random kids. I remember you telling me that story too. You'd just be hooping.
Oh, was it? Okay. I never moved to Minneapolis.
Oh, so you're saying the all-drinking diet is what got you slim?
Yeah, right. Just to make sure you're not eating anything else. Yeah.
Oh, that's nice.
Are you obsessively checking your weight or just like you do it once a week and you step on the scale?
Every morning. Wow.
Right, right. I mean, man, what was the catalyst for this? You just saw yourself in a picture being like, oh boy, I kind of have an interesting no-shape shape.
Well, that's a perspective thing. The baby is small. You can hardly be blamed for looking gigantic next to it.
No one can see the photo, Karim.
Oh, yeah. You look husky, I would say, in that picture.
Yeah, right, right. By the way, I will flag that we were actually in the print magazine on the Sunday. No, no, I heard.
Okay, got it.
But they're just like, oh, your fat mass is too high.
They don't even give you a number. There's like, oh, sir.
Yeah, that's really fat. That's really high.
Yeah, I think you have to be sub-10% to see abs, and mid-teens is probably pretty good.
Oh, man. But is this the language they use? They say just like excellent or they say high?
Why? Why would they send photos to you? Because I'm mentioned in the article. You are mentioned in the article. That's true. That is true. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I think... It was very funny for that to happen.
my visceral fat high what is it with like what does that mean visceral fat like you're angry fat it's so visceral what does that mean no i think that's like in the belly that's like the oh yeah that doesn't sound very good how does it know all of this though i don't know i don't know yeah because i did the same thing at equinox and where you just stand on like basically like these magnets on a on a weight pad and i'm like this how are they getting so specific you know percentage points to like two decimals it doesn't seem like that makes sense
Maybe. I mean, I'm sure we could look this up. I mean, it's definitely a smart scale.
Did you just come up with that idea, concept yourself? Or had you read that somewhere? Because that's actually a really smart idea.
It's like, it's just wading through an ocean of fat.
Yeah, that's not called gluttonous. That's just called you're just a sedentary, unhealthy human. Phoning it in. Yeah, you're phoning it in. That's right.
I think the thing that was most fun about it was getting some messages on LinkedIn from people that I haven't spoken to in a while wishing me a congratulations because they had seen it in the Times and I thought that was really nice. That is nice. You know, that was particularly nice. LinkedIn people. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm so glad we're a first degree connection. Thanks for reaching out.
Right.
Wow. You had the dry popcorn. Yeah. So dry.
Right.
You would never want to get married in front of anything other than a custom piece of wood. What about the pyramids? Is that what you're doing? Are we going to the pyramids? That would be sick, first of all.
Check back in in a year. Yeah, look, I guess that's a question of perception. There was a time when I was talking about everything and I kind of caught myself as like, ooh, there is a really bad, snarky, cringy version of what I'm saying. And I hope to fucking God she doesn't do that take.
Did she? I should review this whole thing. That could be a whole episode, man. I should review this whole thing.
Yeah, that was a cool vibe. I get that.
They are very cool.
Dude, they're so lit. I mean, again, all three are very creative. As you know, that was the theme of the article was that only creative people allowed. But yeah, man. Look, I aspire to be that age and still doing my thing. That's actually the biggest takeaway from those three guys.
They've been in the game for decades and they literally, if you talk to them and hung out with them, you'd be like, oh shit, these guys are dope.
What, with them or just generally speaking?
Right, right. No, look, if we're not cool like 40 years from now, we've definitely fucked this up. And by that I mean all three of us, Dale included. We're going to be the other three wise men. That's the aspiration, man. I don't aspire for money. I aspire to always be cool when I'm older. Same. You don't want to be washed. No, that's the worst thing.
And that's why, you know, you got to spend time with young people.
Exactly. Punk, dude.
Always punk.
Is it punk? Fuck yeah. Nice, dude. If you actually knew what it was, you wouldn't say that, but I'm glad that you think it's punk.
No, it's a hat from one of my favorite golf courses. So it's actually the anti-punk. No, that's sick.
Golf is sick, dude.
Just because he's doing business or him just... Shit, man. That's so tight.
Yeah, the tea box.
Look, we're very creative.
Shout out Luigi. I didn't say that. I didn't say that either, man. That was Dale. No, dude. Golf is tight. I think it's tight just doing the stuff you're into. And right now I'm into golfing.
Oh, dude. Let's ride, baby. Let's ride.
Yeah.
Because my primary residence is in the city, obviously. That's according to the New York Times.
Oh, that like a bump to you're like this is bizarre.
um you're shook I'm literal speechless I don't know how to respond to that well because first of all it's like I don't know who this person is and I don't want I don't know if I've met this person um so I don't want to be derogatory toward towards that choice but it's a choice it's a derogatory choice it's a choice I mean it's a real choice are they are they are they from Denver
Yeah.
Be honest. Are you actually friends with him? Or are you just trying to be nice because it's a recording? No, no. He's my good friend.
Oh, got it. Whispering.
Okay.
Oh, midstream.
And pulled ahead. So your friend John really wanted to go to Denver.
Oh, Eric. Okay, got it.
Yeah, yeah. Because you realized your whispering wasn't working, so you just came out. So I went to the town square. You went to the town square and started shouting from the rooftops.
Yeah. Look, I think the Times is trying to capture the creative energy of the city and highlight people who are really creative, creative directors, creative designers. Creative producers. Creative producers. Look, I get it. I get it. But no, it was a really funny thing. I did buy the paper, by the way. Of course. Are you going to frame it? No, I'm not going to frame it.
Wow.
They're like, you're being too mean.
And so now everyone thinks they have to accommodate Kareem. Well, here's what I did. Wow. Here's a nice special... Well, here's also what I think. So they think you're big-timing now. So the whole trip, they're going to be checking in with you. Kareem, are you okay? Are you okay with this trip? They're white, which means they're selfish. Right. That makes sense. I agree.
Right. Okay.
Yeah. Well, it sounds like your whispering failed.
Yeah, which really makes me question how good of a convincer you are. It sounds like you're actually not that great at it.
I'm pretty good. I have seen you pitch. That's why I'm shocked that it's gone. It's not even like you went to an okay destination. Denver is crazy. I would keep that to yourself.
Okay, that's lit.
you're not going to have a good time.
Yes, that's true.
Why not great friends? Why did you correct yourself? No, no.
But it actually was kind of hard to find a paper upstate.
Yes.
Yeah, man. Question related to this. Etiquette. Is everyone chipping in to cover the costs of The Bachelor? Is The Bachelor shelling out any money on this trip? Or what's happening? Because I think that's what used to happen. I don't know if that's what happens anymore.
So then he's not paying for everyone to fly to Italy then?
Right. No, I like that. I like that gesture. That's what adults should do. I really do think adults should do that. They should be accommodating and hosting their friends.
Of course. Those who can should.
Yeah, it'll still be a good time. All right, so I guess I like Rick again.
Yeah. Well, look, I think the reality is now you're gonna have a really good story. Because it's completely insane that this is where you're going for a bachelor party. I've just never heard it. It sounds like more like you're going to like a like a industry convention, you know, for like a SaaS company. It's like, why are you in Denver? It's like a bachelor party.
I know.
Yeah.
What does that even mean?
Got it.
Yeah. And you're just like playing EDM and you guys are just like dancing with each other.
Yeah. It's going to be fun.
It'll be great. Wait, are you going to have a bachelor party? No. Maybe. Why'd you say no so definitively? What happened there?
I'm also so certain that it's not, first of all.
What? The one to Italy and then the one to Ireland and then the... And then Paris. Yeah, that is going to be a sick trip.
It's going to be great content for the pod.
Nice.
Me? I got calls. I got baby shit to do. You have to prepare the tub? I got to prepare the tub. But I also got to set the vibe because it's like a home birth. Well, I asked you that question. I asked you that question. You did. Yeah, which is a good question, right? It was a great question. For the audience, the question was, what kind of music am I going to play during the event?
and hadn't really thought about it. And by the way, I don't know if I'm allowed to disclose this, but you were playing Bob Marley, which I thought was a really... Of course you could disclose. I thought that was a very interesting choice because I've never known you to be a big Bob Marley fan. And I think I was going to ask you, it's like, yeah, you don't even smoke weed.
Okay.
Okay. Which is where Bob Marley is famously from.
And then how long did you let that playlist play for? You let the algo take over? Or were you just like, we're going to play the hits, maybe one or two hits. I was DJing. Okay, nice.
Yeah, they're like, oh, Kareem, do you want to cut the umbilical cord and do skin to skin? You're like, no, I'm DJing right now. I'm busy. I'll get back to you in 20 minutes.
Oh, did it feel like cutting meat? Is that a weird question?
Yeah. Do you get to keep the scissors? Is that part of the memorabilia? No.
Am I going to get a moil? I think he might just be au naturel, dude. That's tight. I think that's back. I think that's back in 2025. I think guys are holding on to their foreskins. What's up? Well, and either. Yeah. Yeah. I just like the word moil, to be honest with you. It is a fun word.
Did she know what you were talking about?
Yeah. Do you think they go to school for that? I would hope so. They're not just practicing as they go.
Your penis?
Oh, so you have a fucked up penis. Is that what you're saying?
Oh. I don't need a description.
Oh, you're not symmetrical is what you're saying. not clean. I don't know what that means. I've never looked at my penis and been like, oh, that doesn't look very clean.
Well, look. It's high and tight. look, Kareem, you're doing well. You're doing well business, career. You can get that fixed if you want to. I'm sure you could find a person that specializes in adult correctional, corrective penis surgery. Be like, yo, I just want to nip and tuck this area right here. That is what it needs. Maybe you should do that for your 40th birthday.
Yeah.
Actually, maybe I'll get that for you for your 40th.
but i don't i just don't know what the point is because i'm already married i already have a baby i don't really need my penis anymore that's true you're definitely not using it but i think it's more that like when you look down you're like oh no they they fucked up well first i have to lose about 20 pounds so i can see my penis right that's right that's really the main reason why you're doing this like i need to get a smart scale i already had the smart scale oh wow you've always been smart i like that
Yeah, look, I mean, if you haven't seen it in a while, look, that's when you know that you've got to get your shit together.
Oh, shit. Yeah, man. Look, the foreskin is back, dude. That's what I hear is really hip these days based off of all the chatter in the community. Chad. Chad? Chad. What about Chad? That's your son's name. Oh, God. I'm actually trying to figure that out with my mom. She's been sending me just the most wackadoodle emails with Chinese names.
But I got to. I don't know enough Chinese to get the name right. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And she just sends me an email with just, it's just a paragraph, but it's so long. It's so long.
Yeah, we still want it to be tight. You want like a good first initial. True. Right. You have a good first initial. I have a great first initial. She was giving me all these terrible ideas that start with the letter Y. I was like, a Y dot? That's not going to work. Z dot could be cool. It's funny you say that. She has given me a Z dot. I was like, oh, that might work. An L dot. No?
You don't like the L dot? I don't like the L dot. L dot's too weird. Really? Okay.
A Z dot's really, you don't see that a lot.
It's like, yo, that's my son, Z1000.
Dude, I once went to Vermont on a ski trip, and I was staying at the Stowe... Whatever is a nice hotel on that place in Stowe, like right on the mountain. And... My ex at the time, or my girlfriend at the time, who's obviously now my ex, we went there together and she had to go pay for something at the gift shop. And she was like, oh, can you put it on our room?
And the person behind the register was like, oh, room 1713. He looks at my name, he goes, KU0? It's like, wow.
would why would why would any name ever have a zero in it that doesn't make any sense i love that story um this person in stowe obviously was probably very very white had never seen a last name like mine was probably very confused like i just have to assume that you know you're dating someone that is a robot because otherwise this name would make no sense
Yeah. No, I like that. I mean, you don't think it's even a little bit self-congratulatory at all?
Shit, dude. Don't get that. They have this weird sticky rice bowl thing. Don't get that. You'll be really disappointed. Do you know what the hack is if you're trying to be lean? Get the omelet with the salad.
Yeah, that's the obvious hack. High protein salad.
Where'd you guys go for that?
Okay, yeah. That's all the same type of restaurant, by the way. Yeah, it's like old people restaurants. Yeah, like sort of a fake French bistro, sort of pan continental.
Yeah, who's going to Sweetgreen? You love Sweetgreen.
I know you don't love Sweetgreen. I refuse to go to a Sweetgreen. I don't think you've ever even stepped foot in one before. No, I used to for a bit. Oh. And then I was like, this is fucking shit. You're like, wow, I want to spend $30 on a pile of kale.
She's terrifying. She's a real legend. She is a real legend.
All right. Well, have fun. Okay. I'll see you next week. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Well, that's why I haven't really sent the article to people other than people.
It's just weird, right? It's like, hey, guys, by the way, FYI, what's good?
By the way, it makes you think that she was the one who wanted it. You literally told me. Well, actually, funnily, I don't even think I had thought about it. I was actually the one who was like, oh, maybe we should do this. Does that blow your mind? No, you threw her under the bus. Well, now I'm coming clean and I'm letting people know.
No.
First of all, just one of two homes. Just want to be crystal clear that I still obviously maintain a residence in the city. I'm still a city dweller. But every single podcast we do, you are upstate. Well, I mean, I'm on baby mode right now. Like, I can't leave this immediate premises because the baby could arrive at any time. So it's really the baby's fault, not mine.
That's a lie. That is a lie.
We don't need receipts. I can just say that.
Yes, I did.
Yeah. No, it's funny. The lady who wrote it, Sada Bahasan, who, you know, shout out front of the pod, who wrote the article, said, No, she actually asked me that question. I think this will get really corny. But as someone who didn't move to New York until in my mid-20s from a small town in Midwest, I was like, oh, having a love story that's in the Times feels like such an anomaly.
It's such a big city. Isn't it crazy that you'd actually happen to find a person that you'd want to get married to and have a great story? And I was like, oh, that'd be nice if that could be um that was like the dream of a 25 year old um romantic and apparently at 42 still romantic so there you go apparently apparently did did you worry at all about how you were perceived
Yeah, but I think you just got to let that go, man. It's no big deal, dude. I don't know. You talk to a lot of people in the press. Do you manage yourself? You're like, fuck it. I'm just going to be me. Because that's what I did.
I love it.
Well, the problem is now you're like a father and a husband. You're the least important person in your family. You get the least amount of attention.
Maybe. Yeah, that's true. You're a fun dad, I assume.
Well, I was going to ask, so are you not going to do avows for your wedding then? I don't think I'll do avows. I'm kind of a private guy. You are a private guy. I'm kind of a private guy. Yeah. Are you also just worried that you wouldn't get the same Sunday paper treatment that I got and that would just be embarrassing to you?
Well, I think now they may mention me in yours if you And a little callback, a little link back? Yeah, potentially. But yeah, look, feel free to ride my coattails. I'm happy to plug you in with the people there. Obviously, you know the editor and the writers. Feel free. Just let me know. Let me know what's good.
Yeah, you are a simp. I've always said that about you.
yes yeah that's true it's um you've definitely done it in a very specific order of baby first then marriage and then the ring i've quite not ever seen that order ever like i did love um when you send the invites out for the wedding which by the way you didn't send to me which i thought was very fucked up and i'm still a little salty about it i let karina handle it and she's not doing a good job
He's not producing it well is what you're saying.
It shouldn't be hard. All I'm saying is I never received a wedding invitation before someone had proposed and had the ring. That was a new order that I had not seen. Very you. Very inverted, but it was great. Very excited for you, obviously. We're coming, obviously, to Egypt.
Well, to be crystal clear, this is a home birth.
Right. A one-sided fight. It was a one-sided fight.
And you won, I guess, is the way you would phrase it.
Okay.
Okay, that makes sense.
They titted first, okay.
Yeah, I like that.
So yeah, look, that'll be exciting for you. Maybe you won't get quite the press that I got. As you know, I'm a press magnet. By the way, FYI, I'm up to like 250 followers on my Instagram. Are we going to do this in every episode? I'm just saying that from an audience growth perspective, this has been one of the most successful weeks of my life.
I've literally gained, I think, 50 followers in the last seven days. It's been absolutely crazy.
It might be. It really might be. I should probably get married next week again just to keep on building the audience. It's been very effective for me.
Is that bad? Again, is this bad behavior? Is that not good social protocol? Do I have to follow? Okay, so I have to go through and actually see who's followed me and then see if I know them and then follow them back.
Do you have a tub in Manhattan? No, I don't actually. I have a stand-up shower. Okay, okay. So, you know, you get what I'm saying.
It's everything in one.
And that's where you know if friendships are real or not. And I really apologize for that, Dale. I would never want you to feel that way at all. I apologize. I'll go through and do that right after this recording.
Yeah, Andrew, yours is a little weird too. Yeah, but I couldn't find, I couldn't get my name. Someone else had already taken my name, which I thought was really unfair.
Yeah, but there's only one that's really my friend slash nemesis because he gets all the shout outs.
You're right, you're right. By the way, I will say, according to the New York Times, I do live in two residences. Oh, let's talk about that, New York Times. That's what the article said, so you can't fight with the press. That's the truth.
Which one? Me or the other one?
Yeah, well, Dale's a cool guy.
A crop tee, if you can pull it off as a man, is extremely slutty. It's one of the sluttiest looks you can have as a man.
It's a wife lover.
Actually, dumb question. What's a muscle shirt?
Okay, right on. But is it cut so that it goes deep so you can kind of see the rib?
Yeah. Look, I jumped headfirst in. I did, as you may recall, I did hit up you and Hasan, front of the pod, Hasan Ali Khan, on our group thread to get feedback on what my username was going to be.
Yeah, the deep hole. Everyone loves a deep hole.
Yeah, it's like, oh, fuck these sleeves, man.
Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That's definitely attitude for sure. I get that.
By the way, on this tattoo thing, I haven't gotten the latest on your tattoo removal journey. Are you taking all of them off or just a handful? Are you going full Pete Davidson, spending like 200 racks, just taking them all off? What are you doing? What's the plan?
What's the S then? What's the S at the end?
That's only IC is what you just said.
Oh, very specific, actually.
Oh, so you didn't even give him clear guidance. There were no comps. No. Oh, wow.
I was like, is this godaddy.com or like...
Oh, wow! So people just think you're like really into snakes on roses.
And why that is the thing? Because you want to return to the grave with a clean body. Oh, is that like a religious thing or that's just like a vibe thing? Yeah.
no i'm um i'm a i'm a good boy yeah uh you did you did have a phase though what's a bad boy phase i did have a bad boy phase but what do they call that what do they call the asians that are kind of hood oh that is called oh fuck what is that called look that up there's a specific it's not blazing is it no no that's when you're mixed that's tiger woods
I love Ian. How's he doing? I haven't seen him in like a minute. Is he doing wonderful?
It was... Name. Well, for girls, it's ABCs. Or ABGs. I can't remember. Asian baby girls. That's like the flip side of the Fast and the Furious. That's like Devin Aoki is like an ABG. But yeah, what was...
I'd be like, it's like almost like, it's like bad boy Asians from like San Gabriel Valley.
It is going to bother me too, actually. Let me just look it up as well.
I know.
Yeah, just like off. Yeah.
That's not correct.
I will remember it for next time.
Wow, that's a really good storytelling device. I like that.
Yeah, and you 100% agree to that, right?
Yeah, I don't know if I agree with that.
I mean, a lot of people are showing hole these days, man. Very popular.
10 years sober which is pretty good and he's i mean he's always had that infectious ian finance energy yeah i mean dude i remember the first time that i met him which i don't know if that was the first time you had met him when he was yeah that was the first time really okay got it when he came on um the last stop which is a deep cut for the subway takes heads know what i'm referring to but when he showed up on set and just realized wow this guy is a real um firecracker
He was so funny. So how did the episode go, man?
Yeah, look, I think that would be a big draw. By the way, I think if you're so nostalgic for the 90s, does that just mean that you're a little washed, a little old, a little bit out of touch? Did you guys touch on that as a topic?
Well, I phrase it as a question.
Well, I mean, it was a bit of a push-pull, I'll admit.
Wait, did you not... You're not on the Platinum Medallion?
Okay.
Okay. How do you define interesting?
Okay, got it. All right. Okay.
Well, to be fair, you are also picking on like the world's worst versions of a modern day coffee shop. Like those are devoid of anything.
I don't go to coffee shop chains. I don't even know what's happening there.
I eat at all of them. All of them.
Yeah. I feel like you for sure were the guy that was in the playpen area. You remember when they had the amusement park that was attached to the McDonald's?
Yeah, I hear him. I'm wearing headphones. Yeah, I can hear myself.
It sounds kind of lit. I'm not going to lie.
The sphincter is loose and my shoulders have dropped. I'm breathing deeper. You're right. Yep.
45.
You could eat as much fruit as you wanted.
Yeah, there's no ball pits at the McDonald's on Sixth Avenue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You convinced me. Great, great.
They're warm and fuzzy. Yeah, yeah. I guess how do you think we're going to look back on the 2020s? That's now? Yeah, like in 20 years, how do you think we're going to look back on the 2020s?
Wait a second. You don't look back on the millenniums? That's pre-Willingsburg not being a mall.
You came here when I came here. I'm like the 20... Why am I saying 20? 2008. i came in two thousand twelve oh wow all right so you're like uh fuck seriously oh so you're barely a new yorker barely yeah famously barely a new yorker so i'm really the new yorker here on in this conversation is what we're saying yeah
Wow. By the way, it's funny. So I actually had to do something today. And I'm actually a little bit ashamed to reveal it, but I think I have to because I'm trying to live more honestly in my life. Is that today... I canceled my Equinox subscription membership because I was like, oh, I'm not in the city enough to justify the enormous cost of going to an expensive gym. And I was like, oh, shit.
What's up? What's up? What's up? I just want everyone to know I've got about 200 followers. The audience development is developing.
Does it actually mean that I really am an upstater? Is that like I can't even go to the Equinox anymore? I was like, oh, this just, you know, I'm no longer a member. How fucked up is that? It's really crazy.
Yeah, that's... Look, it's... You know, everyone's like, oh, there's no more third places. You know, that's like a whole thing. Like, you know, the New York... All these articles about third... Yeah, yeah.
What's your third place?
Dude, that's... First of all, that is sick. Banks have gotten really good lounges. What's their deal? Is it like free kombucha on tap? What are they doing over there?
um every day i check it i'm like yo if i get like one new follower a day it feels like it's a good day so it's good it's i mean we all gotta start somewhere dude yeah yeah yeah we all gotta start somewhere that's right that's right you gotta start from zero i did i was shocked i was shocked
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
that sounds like a band also from the 90s.
It is a band from the 90s. And like, what's the crowd like at the Capital One Lounge?
Yeah, I could say that. I could see that.
Oh, well, that's... I mean, you can't even stay there. I mean, and do you think that's why there was no one there? Because I'll be honest. If I had walked in... No, no, there were a lot of people.
Oh.
Oh, so you were people watching from the safe confines of the Capital One Lab.
Strong body, strong mind. And if you've seen me IRL, you know I got that strong bod. What's good?
I'm so yoked, dude. I had to switch t-shirts because the other one didn't fit me. That was the one originally.
Yeah, that's right. Is that actually true? No, I actually did a weird random aside. What I was doing right before this is I was getting baby photos done at the house. So there's a photographer who's wrapping up with Malou right now. So I actually did have to put on a fit. And then I was like, oh wait, this t-shirt's too tight.
Yeah, in the baby photos. And I was like, oh, this isn't going to age very well. And so I put on a more appropriately sized shirt.
It was too tight. It was too tight.
You know, I don't actually know the brand. I remember picking it up randomly when I was home in Detroit, and I think it was Brandless, actually.
No, it's like a boutique in downtown Birmingham. You wouldn't know about it, but it's cool.
Homo sapien? What do you mean? No, homosexual. That used to be the thing on the playground back when we were kids. You call me a homo?
Really? I was pretty popular in elementary school.
And then you'd be like, oh, homosexual.
I think that's fine.
Why? Because someone can see my forearms? All of a sudden, I'm not taking the shoot seriously?
I'm definitely not wearing a collar. That's right.
Yeah, but I don't know. Since when do collars signify me taking it more seriously? There's plenty of guys who wear collars that still look pretty fucking sloppy, let's be honest. You've been to Miami. You know what I'm talking about.
Wow. Dale, do you hear that? I can't believe he would say that to two men on a podcast recording. They're both wearing t-shirts. That's actually insulting.
I don't wear t-shirts. I have noticed about you. You only wear a collar thing, and then you just unbutton it all the way down to your navel.
I know. I can see. I can see exactly what you're doing.
Look, just because you have really small calves, underdeveloped calves, and you're afraid to show them off, that's really a Kareem thing.
That's right.
Do you? I've never seen them. I wouldn't know.
Right. But real talk, if we're actually talking about for real, for real, what I have found, and I'm not saying that this has to be the way you would do it, but the way that I've made friendships as an adult is I will get that text at a dinner party or a party or a function or whatever. And what I'll do is I'll literally just hit them up, whatever, and just invite myself to wherever they are.
And if they're down, then I know we've made friends. What do you mean you invite yourself to wherever they are? It's like, hey man, what's going on? What are you up to? And they're like, oh, I'm doing this, blah, blah, blah. What are you up to? And people are sometimes just being polite. And I'll just be like, oh, cool. I'm going to come with. Oh, I would never do that.
And then I see how they were.
And what did that person say in response to that?
Yeah, I was going to ask, by the way, is this like a foreign person? This person can't be American. You're firing back voice notes back and forth. No, they're American. Oh, and is this on WhatsApp or is this on text? Text, iMessage. Crazy, crazy. And so what happened? Did you guys end up linking up? Like what? Where'd you leave it? It fizzled. It fizzled. Yeah.
Why are you so shy and being so aggressively just being like, hey, where are you at? I'm coming to hang out.
Okay, got it.
Okay.
That feels really intimate, but that's okay. I mean, 2025 is about male intimacy.
And be like, hey, I'm going to walk my cats. I'll link on the corner of X and Z. I can just take a walk with him. I don't have to take my cats with me. Yeah, but I feel like you want to bring a companion with you as well. He's bringing a companion, you bring a companion. It's like equal levels, you know?
Oh, no, I got that story. But yeah, so how was it?
Exactly. Wait, that's so, yeah, I forgot.
And you'd get the weird haircut with the puffs and the tufts.
That feels kind of off-brand for you, if I'm being honest.
I guess you do kind of have a little puff and a tuft.
Yeah. Yeah. I would think something a little bit brawnier though. Like a Doberman? Maybe not. Maybe something that's, you know, just, yeah, a little, not like Husky. Like I would never describe you as a Husky man, but I would be like, yeah. That's literally what you're, you're literally doing that right now. I don't know.
I'm saying that you're, you know, you're a man, you know, you're a man of a certain spatial taking up of, you know, that's how, that's a scientific term of taking up space. So I would think that you'd get a dog that similarly would also take up space.
Yeah. Look, I'll let you have that.
No, it's it. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking at him right now. He's sleeping on the couch. I'm not really doing shit. He's kind of a little big. He is a little bit of a big it's it's definitely like a bougie kind of basic dog. But he's cute. He is really cute. He is really cute.
No, he's not. But I think I'm friendly. I think the energy is kind of the same. I think I'm a human version of that. I'm a pretty nice, friendly, outgoing kind of person, I would say. People have said that about me. 100% disagree.
Yeah, that sounds good. Enjoy. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks for having me, buddy. Of course. I'll see you soon. I'll see you right after this. Okay. Goodbye. Bye.
Who sucked whom's face?
I feel like it was Blake for sure. That feels very Blake coded.
Wow. This is like very high school. Was this at like Hotel Chantal or something? It literally, I think, was at a hotel. Yeah, that makes 100% sense.
Isn't that all relationships until you get to the final relationship? Isn't that...
Yeah.
Yeah, I was thinking that it's basically just like sex plus. It's sex plus.
Yeah.
What was the answer on that one?
God, the right before the wedding one's tough. Right before the wedding is really tough. Yeah, I get that. You're in a position where you don't want to say no to something. You know, like someone's getting on their knee and they're doing the whole thing.
Right, right, right. The classic building blocks that you call the improv sketch.
Right. Which, by the way, thanks again for the book. You're welcome.
Was it a picture book? Nope. Oh, nice.
Okay. What was the book called?
Oh yeah. How, how was, I mean, look, I'd only be getting a few little excerpts on page six. Um, so I don't know, obviously the whole arc, was it a good read? It's a great read. Yeah.
I thought you were going to say it was going to make you want to have a seafood tower.
Dude, I would fucking... I'd show up for sure, man. You should do it. We should do it together. Yeah, I'm down. Let's do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I like the idea of building a physical place where vibes are happening. I think that's a bit of a lost art nowadays. And I think that's why Balthazar is honestly so fucking iconic.
Remember when we had that idea for a podcast studio slash coffee shop slash record shop slash, and that's how we're going to make all this money doing that? That was a terrible idea. Horrible, horrible fucking idea. But, you know, you live, you learn.
Wow, that's so nice of you to give such a wonderful greeting. I'm doing great.
I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry. You're not. Dude, I literally just had this conversation with Malou yesterday. I actually had a conversation. I was like, look, I have to describe myself as being someone who maintains residences in both Manhattan and the Hudson Valley in order to ensure to let people know that I'm still in it. You know what I mean?
That's a compliment, actually. I'll take that.
Is it the hair? Is it the body? Is it the vibe, the aura of it all? What is it about him that gets you?
I have a question, though. When did he come on your radar? And have you always been... Is it Walton or is it Walter? It's Walton. It's Walton? Okay, got it. It's a sick name. It is because you're like, oh, is that misspelled? Are you mispronouncing it? Is it wrong? When he goes to Starbucks, people are not writing his name down correctly.
100 million percent.
Well, I think that's just because, you know, you're the type of guy that can get so much done that it seems like, like an octopus, you have your hands, your tentacles, and so many things. One could not possibly do it all, but, you know.
Yeah, he was. I mean, look, we almost had him for Subway takes. We did almost have him for Subway takes. Couldn't make the schedule work, but c'est la vie, you know?
No, no. He's like a character guy that you see. And what do you think about his hair? Is it the hair or the body that you think is so distinctive?
you tell me more about the body because that's weird no but i mean like i think people you know how like you see these actors um and there's like more they seem like normal guys and then for whatever reason like in a movie or tv series they have to take their shirt off and they're just like jacked with like a 12 pack you're like why this has nothing to do with the character development this is just a person who just works out constantly
And I have to say, Walton, in this whole press tour, he has oftentimes not been wearing a shirt. I mean, let's be honest. He's oftentimes not wearing a shirt. Unclear why that's the case. And it's clear the man spends a lot of time in the gym. A lot of time in the gym.
Yeah. I mean, look, I think it's funny that you're talking about the Hudson Valley thing because I think people don't even know that because of the whole AD episode that I think in a lot of ways also put on the map.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Again, clarification, I live in both places. But there was a weird capitalist side to me. I was like, oh, I bet that's probably good for real estate values. Which was kind of fucked up. That's literally exactly what I thought of a beat after I saw the episode. But yeah, I thought it was tight. His house was cool.
Wait, but wait, so wait, first of all, okay. Three years ago. That's crazy. But when did you run into him? I didn't even know that you had met him at one point.
You are a collaborator. You love a collab. You love having Kareem X something. I love collab posts.
Right, but does he seem so happy just because his teeth are crazy? It looks like he's smiling even when you can't see his teeth.
Yeah, I don't think God gave him those teeth.
By the way, when that happens, totally random aside, when that happens, when you have something like that in childhood, you get a fake grill. and presumably your teeth at that time fit the size of your head. Your head is a smaller head because you're tiny. And then what happens is you get older, do you get bigger teeth installed? You swap out the teeth?
Otherwise, the idea that those teeth, which by the way are huge for his head right now. They are huge teeth. So at seven, he had the same size teeth? Otherwise, that would be maniacal if he had done that.
You are a collab post kind of guy.
Yeah, he would be great.
Why are you obsessed with his body?
Did you pitch it to him? You should have pitched him this idea. The Joker? I should have pitched him the Joker?
I think that is worth sliding in the DMs unless you got his phone number to be like, hey, about that invitation, how's Memorial Day weekend? I'm showing up with my wife and child.
Right, right.
Well, let me ask you a question. I feel like... Some of the people you've met along the show, you have become really good friends with. You think of Jerry Saltz. I would say you guys are legitimately good friends. How did you do that? Because then just rinse and repeat, replicate, scale that friendship-making enterprise, make it happen.
All right.
Okay.
We know how important it is to stay on top of the news. But let's be honest, sometimes it can be a lot to take in. That's why you should check out 5 Good Things. Every Saturday, we highlight the good stuff happening around the world. Because there's plenty of it, I promise. Hear 5 Good Things on Saturday mornings, wherever you get your podcasts.
Right.
Alright, so we're going to do the take and then we're just going to keep talking. Okay, good. Alright. So what's your take? Wait, give me again. Okay. I saw this flash. This is going in the episode.
I mean, I started selling used cars. That was one of my biggest hustles. You sold used cars? Yeah, dude. You flipped them. Yeah. eBay or in person or what? In person. So what I would do to pay for college, one of the many hustles is I would just buy a car on Craigslist, like let's say a 1997 Cadillac Seville, which was like three grand. I'd buy it.
And the next, I wouldn't even transfer the title. Next day, I would just relist it on Craigslist for like $4,000. And I would sell it. I had no modifications, no title transfer. I'd skip the, there's a word for it when you skip the title transfer. And I would just make $1,000. And back then, I mean, $1,000, that was paying for a lot of ramen noodles. Dude, right now $1,000 is killer, bro.
thousand bucks is not worth much anymore i don't know bro in a tariff world i'll take a thousand i mean i'll take it everybody that's my new take everyone on earth could use a thousand bucks that's a good take and it's true but a thousand bucks in new york is one matcha latte and like a gourmet hot dog those sound like needs No, those are wants.
That everybody... How do you decide... Actually, that's a good question. How do you decide what to pursue between your wants and your needs? I'm here on Earth. Constantly trying to avoid earthly desires. Yeah. You seem like the type of guy who has a good head on his shoulders.
Yeah, that's why you buy the Range Rover instead of the Toyota Camry. No, because selfishly, the Range Rover, you're like, look, I'll look cool, I'll be swaggy, but I can also fit seven. Whereas if I get the Toyota Camry, I can only fit...
I've seen your clothing. I know what's going on. Yeah, but this helps a lot of people. It helps the garment workers. See? I have to buy it. Yep, here we go. It helps. Don't even get me on fashion. Arabs in general because they're like, he's stylish and cool and maybe I can be stylish and cool as well.
I'm trying to get everyone off the mud. I want to be a good role model. That is actually something I really think about all the time. You know, I try to make content That is positive, not uplifting.
I just don't want to put out negative vibes into the universe. Same, dude. So, like, everything I do, I run it through that filter of, like... It's almost like that great rule, which I'm sure you have as well, but, like, not doing any advertising that promotes tobacco, alcohol, or gambling. Sure. I don't do that. And one time I tried... To justify it to my mom? Yeah.
So Bush is infected with what, like Conqueror Syndrome?
I was like, what if I'm in an ad for a tequila company, but I'm not drinking? Yeah. And I'm also saying, I'm not telling people to drink, but I'm standing next to it. And she's like, who's paying? I'm like, the tequila company. She's like, you can't do it. And I go, all right, I get it. You know, trying to justify it. Right. But that's putting some negativity into the world.
Damn. Man's got me all the way back in. Is this us?
All right. So here they have the most delicious Semek Meshwe I've ever had in New York. I can't wait. Oh, my God. It truly tastes like it came out of the Nile. I haven't eaten all day. Out of the Mediterranean. Me neither. I haven't eaten all day. I'm very excited. We're going to Hamido's. You like that one? Very good. The lips are so nice and thick. Cheers. We're here, bro.
Don't mock me on my show, bro.
wow that's the meshway baby that tastes like this is something else thank you so much thank you here i'll serve you you're gonna serve me i'll serve you yeah basha i'll serve you that's your dog's name famously famously do you have any nicknames growing up rami salami oh that's a white nickname though that was a white nickname yeah do you have any like ones that weren't making fun of you i ought to be nicknamed
Misho. Misho, that's nice. Did you have one? Kimo. Yeah, Kimo. But the problem is, I would still go by Kimo, but... Yeah, it's not ideal. It's not ideal at all. Yeah. You know when my dad moved to this country? He spelled my name on the passport, or on my birth certificate. K-R-E-M.
Yeah. Wow. And I would go, and I asked my dad, why did you do this? Yeah. He was like, it's easier to spell. I said, bro, it's literally... He's right. It's crap. But it is easier to spell? It is easier to spell because there are two fucking letters missing that are necessary for the name to be Kareem. And so I got it legally changed. And you changed the last name, too? I changed the last name.
That's an interesting story. When my dad moved to the States, his last name was Abu Rahma. Yeah. Yeah. It was like Sayyid Ahmed Abu Rahma. So he removed Abu Rahma and just went with Ahmed. So I was Kareem Ahmed. You were Kareem Ahmed. I was Kareem Ahmed. And I never really liked it because what really bothered me is it was two first names. Oh shit, you have two first names. I do.
Yeah, yeah, it's a really bad disease. There's no vaccine. Who else is bad? Who else is bad? I'll say it. Bibi. Yeah, Netanyahu? Yeah.
I hate two first names. My uncle is Yusuf Yusuf. Two first names. I don't like two first names. And I'm sorry that I insulted your name. You first name shamed me, yeah, but... Maybe it was a beef problem. Yeah, you're gonna have beef with a lot of people, man. How often do you go to Egypt? Every year.
That's a painful memory. Because my dad would always get so mad that he had to buy the phone card because it was like $40 for 10 minutes. That's expensive, bro. $3 a minute? Yeah. And then you barely know Arabic? Crazy. You know? Crazy. Say hi to your grandma. Hi. Oh, wow, your loser son doesn't speak Arabic anymore? And then it's quiet.
John C. Reilly. I love that. He hit me with the Inshallah. That's, yeah. It was cool.
It'll just be like everyone's Muslim. Well, Stepbrothers is an allegory about two young guys who are lost. And then they find Islam. And then they convert. And that's all of John T. Reilly just saying inshallah to you.
Because, yeah, man. I thought it was just my mom, but the conversion lore that happens in Muslim families is the same. I got one the other day that said that Trump's daughter, it didn't say which one, but it said Trump's daughter does the Shahada conversion. My mom sent it to me. And I literally, I'm like, mom. Tiffany. That's why I didn't talk to her. That's why I didn't talk to her.
I go, you don't actually believe this, do you? And she goes, it's on the news. I go, this is www.islamnews4real. Okay, because CNN has more logical headlines. I tried to explain to her that I could set up that website and start making my own fake news. And she was like, oh, really? Set one up for me. She wanted me to send a brush. She wants to do fake news? Yeah, for her. For her.
So she wants to spread the... What she knows. Yeah, which is a lot of... Mamaganda? Mamaganda.
No, you know what? They're pretty crispy on the outside, and then they're a little soft on the inside. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I've thought about this a lot I'm like really glad that I'm Egyptian and not you know no shade on the other no shade on the other ones but Egypt has a pretty good reputation all things considered the pyramids are still working for us well they've been coasting on the pyramids for a long time forever there's nothing new they're dropping a new pyramid they just did they dropped a little one they made a new little pyramid?
I think that BB might be infected by a djinn. That might be it. He has a dark spirit.
yeah well they didn't drop it they dug it up really? no they always drop new ones almost every three years or so they go oh we found another one Oh, we found another guy wrapped up. I'm kind of sick of mummies. All right, so I want to do takes on takes. So I need your take on the takes that have been on the show. And you have to play me, which is 100% agree, 100% disagree.
You see how difficult my job is. It's a very difficult job.
Yes, this whole country is built on 100% agree, 100% disagree. You can't be like a kind of agree guy here, which is why I made the show like that. We're going to start off with something problematic. Yeah. Gay men dress worse than straight men.
But bad theater, you're like, okay, I'm a hostage. I agree with you on that take. There's two types of people in this world. People with cases on their phones and people who go raw dog taste buds. Gang shit. Tears. 100% agree. That's so sick.
I actually haven't thought about this much, but I think this might be a problem. You know how in the coal mines you get the black lung? I spend a lot of time underground. I might get the black lung. You might get the F-train lung because you've been on it. Wait, this is so bad. I never thought about how being underground could be affecting my health. All right, let me give you another one.
Therapists should not be hot. 100% agree. 100% agree. Yeah, it should be about the work.
Yeah. And that's the problem with a hot therapist is you want them to like you no matter what. Even an ugly therapist, you want them to like you.
I know, but that's, you know, I ask God every day to forgive me for having a hot wife. Yeah.
So you feel bad for him, that he's essentially an American human refugee on Earth.
Anything else you're thinking about?
That's that's that's the how many layers of heaven are there? How many levels? I think there's seven. Okay, that's the highest level of heaven. You know how I don't know how many levels there are? Yeah. Because my mom's always like, if you want to make it to the top one, you have to do these things. I go, I'm good with the bottom.
I can think of countless examples of bad people. I'm not even going to rattle them off.
No, they're like, you can get whatever you want in heaven. I'm like, great. I just need level one. I don't need plus. I don't need premium. I don't need the highest level tier. I'm good with Hulu with ads. It's fine. I'll take heaven with ads. It's fine with me.
No, I agree. That feeling. Here's the thing. It's kind of like, I don't want to keep bringing this back to Islam, but it's kind of like Ramadan.
And when you pee, it's the iftar. Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, like you're fasting all day by not peeing. By not peeing.
You get to pee and you're like, oh, my God. And then at the end of the day, you go, oh, God, that feels so good to pee.
It changed it so quickly. How quickly did it change your gut from ingesting to operation change my pants? It's a five-hour situation. Five-hour situation.
do this and you're going to feel so good at night well that's one of the only times I ever feel like sometimes I forget that I'm a soul in a body sometimes I realize after I take that leak that's when I realize I have a body and it feels good to have a body I don't take it for granted anymore you ever have that moment where you wake up and you go oh look these are my hands and that's what happens after that long day of holding it in I go
Man, it feels good to be a human.
you got a new show coming out. First ever animated. First ever Rami Youssef animated. Tell me about how difficult that was. I can only imagine that this human being, it's a lot easier to control this body than it is to control a bunch of other bodies.
Did you get to stand in the booth? I love watching those videos of people doing voice.
Every father has.
I was about to say, that's literally, I see myself every day, the baby gets older, I see myself turning more and more into a dad. I'm a stereotypical dad where I'm... I don't have manic energy, man. I'm a really relaxed... No, you're chill. I'm the chillest guy, but now I find myself being like, is that a choking hazard?
Where all of a sudden your brow is furrowed and you're like, who left the lights on? Dude, every... I think that's about being a dad, right? I've never in my life... I've been poor so many times. Always left the lights on. I've never in my life complained about how expensive things are. And now I'm like... I was talking to my wife. I'm like...
why is the sea bass so expensive yeah she's like because because sufi needs to eat sea bass no and i go we don't eat sea bass no you and me why are we eating salmon but the baby's eating sea bass and then she's getting way goo yeah yeah no i think you become a father you prioritize tilapia and you're just like this is what it's we're a tilapia and shrimp family
And kind of just, you know, key food salmon family. I don't know what happened to me because I used to be cool and now I'm my own father. Yeah, all of a sudden sushi's a ripoff. It's an awful deal. You're like, I'm paying $40 for all these tiny pieces. Dude, dads are so funny like that. Dads go to wholesalers. When I was young, my dad would take us out to All You Can Eat Chinese. Uh-huh.
But he had stipulations. When we went to All You Can Eat Chinese, we were only allowed to eat crab legs and shrimp. But if I came back with a plate of spaghetti, well, not at the Chinese place, but if I came back with a plate of orange chicken, he would make me bring it back. Because he was like, I'm paying $20 for All You Can Eat. You better be eating good.
He's like, we have orange chicken at home. Wow. Yeah.
Oh, my God. Imagine an all-you-can-eat buffet in Egypt. Have you ever thought about that? No. Dude, people would not leave. I don't know if they'd like it, honestly. I think they would love it. Are you kidding me? You think? Yes. But the problem is they wouldn't leave.
Or there would be a lot of to-go.
to go bags not even boxes like a literal duffel no they would have a duffel bag of beans when they go to the airport you know an Egyptian family in the airport has 85 bags for three people they're just leaving the buffet just rollers a roller case with we would bring we would bring so much food from Egypt in the suitcase to back to the back to the states yeah all the time like what
Just loose, loosey?
I don't think you can bring them now anymore. Like, I tried to bring some sunflower seeds, some lib.
No, no, they'd say we have to confiscate these.
You don't know what's going on with that. They're eating beans. The show, though, is really, really funny. I saw the first couple of episodes.
I gave notes. I didn't give notes.
Let's say I didn't give notes, but what I did do was say, I like it. You said, what do you think? I said, it's good. No, no, there was one time. You were that reserved about it. You sent me a cut and you said, should we put this music in the beginning?
Yeah, it's so damn funny. Did you sing the songs?
That's who I get. Bob Dylan. No. You don't get Bob Dylan? You get a little bit of a Bob Dylan. Well, we both have, like, Dylan-esque froze, but...
after 9-11 happened did your dad put up a bunch of American flags yeah the whole block did but I think we had one or two more just to be like hey you know for good measure we got a huge one huge one like really large you know the ones that you see in like a used car dealership yeah yeah yeah that was in our yard all of a sudden and I didn't get it like I was like dad what the hell is that when did you guys start selling used cars
Talk about where I'm going.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no.
Right.
Mm hmm.
You have.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
No.
Holy crap.
One state.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fascinating.
They are thin socks.
Yeah.
Literally.
As much as I respect you, this is excruciating.
So how do you eat? How do I eat? With your hands. No, no, but how do you use a knife and fork?
As a person?
Morally slippery?
Smoky people.
Do we have to get on another one? We go back.
Oh, to go home?
Put these on. Your viewership is going to go, don't you think?
Do they?
I think they've got a little bit of skin flake in the middle. Before I had glasses, because now I'm so old I have to wear glasses all the time, I used to look at people with dirty glasses and go, dude, come on. A little bit of self-respect, please. Just get a tissue and wipe them clean. And now my reading glasses are like old people's glasses. They've got the skin flake. They've got the thing.
But don't you use it? Your thumbs are really important digits.
It's really bad.
It's really disgusting.
Well, no, I used to, but now I am one of those people. So I'm kind of, I've got a newfound empathy for the...
but the skin stuff like if someone you know like if i forgot my glasses and you have to borrow someone's reading glasses and you get them it's like it's like it's like the facial toe jam it's really disgusting it's quite disgusting and really hard to cope with but then because they've lent you their glasses see yeah i'm just getting rid of this i'm just getting rid of the skin i don't know do they look good on me they look really good on you i think they look better
Look, put these back on and then see.
No, it's because you can see your eyebrows now and you've got great eyebrows. No, thank you so much. You don't wax or thread, do you?
As I can tell from your glasses.
I'm blind. I'm not reading my... See, this is the one... This is the one good thing about being clinically blind is that everyone looks fantastic. I look fantastic in the mirror, actually.
Yeah, until you see a photograph of yourself and you go, whoa.
And what does naturally beautiful mean?
In 2004? Oh, my God. So I must have slipped way down the list since then, since it's 2025. So 21 years ago, I was the third most naturally beautiful woman in the world.
Okay, well, you think that made my currency go up or down, but that was 21 years ago.
Oh, yeah, definitely. I want to get two or three more.
It's really, really expensive.
But it also means you have to work, which I'm not so keen on doing. I want to be at home in my garden with my chickens.
With my gun?
My garden.
My garden, because I kill things and I want to learn to not kill things.
An epidemic of Australians?
Well, they're all in Berlin. Are they moving here?
Are you worried about this?
Like a vacuum cleaner. But see, you still wouldn't solve the pollution problem. No, I agree. Unless you had a leaf blower the size of Texas. I'm just saying in general. But the stupidity, this is the thing, it's a metaphor for what's wrong with us as a species, is we blow shit from one side of our lawn to the other side, and then the wind is just going to blow it back.
Avocado toast with chili flakes, but good coffee.
I think so. Vegemite toast. We don't really have a national food.
We have a lot of beer. We have cold beer. As opposed to the English warm beer. Not that I drink beer.
A seven-story bar? Yeah, I said, I'll probably pass. Why are there so many Australians here now?
They're naturally beautiful.
And they're all actors.
They're chefs. We do the Pacific Rim. We do good food. What's the Pacific Rim? We're situated geographically in Asia, but yet a lot of our culinary traditions are French and European. So we pull our... global warming is having something to do with the reduction of the amazing fish. But we have amazing fish.
I am so comfortable.
Oh, you see, you don't have strap hangers.
Yeah.
What? Is it? You haven't lived.
But they did this study in the Tube in London. And they said that the Tube seats were fine. It's bed covers. You know the coverlets that you get on a bed in a hotel. They are far more filthy than the seat covers in the Tube.
So if you go to a hotel... Do not sleep on that bed cover. Pull it off, put it in a plastic bag, and fumigate yourself.
Sorry, have I been elbowing you in the head? Sorry.
You're a bit of both. We're colonized by the British, so it's okay. Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate.
You just put them through your nose.
No. I'm up top.
Well, the 50-whatever state of America.
United State of X.
Yes. What's your take? What annoys you? Talking to people on trains?
Why don't you want to reveal it?
And what does that solve?
I know, hair dryers.
But you suck it, you've still got to get the bag at the end and put it somewhere.
It actually, my rage went through the roof in Washington, where I think there's the highest concentration of leaf blowers anywhere.
Yeah, yeah. And they banned them. So now you can, if you, if, I think it's because this is terrible. This is truly, truly terrible. They did a study back in, I don't know, 2010 or something, that 30 minutes on a leaf blower, this is going to make you really sick.
has more pollution than driving a pickup from texas to alaska 30 fucking minutes it's really bad so they've banned them in washington but i don't think it's that's the only place they're bad but they're no but they're everywhere and i my my gardener in australia i said if you use a leaf blower it's over you should be ostracized yeah yeah i said my kids i'll pay my kids two bucks an hour okay three bucks an hour to rate the leaves and make sure their hearts are in good condition how old are they
Well, they're now 24, so they don't listen to me at all. No, no, they deserve $3 an hour. Yeah, exactly. They're 25 years old, they're going to work for $3 an hour.
Are you in camouflage so that no one knows who you are?
So you never do this without...
My take is that leaf blowers need to be eradicated from the face of the earth.
No, I think we do need more podcasts. You think more? I think we need more. I think we need to triple the amount of podcasts that we get. Because where else are we going to get people talking to people? Not here. People not necessarily not here. No, people who aren't yelling at people. People actually speak to one another and listen a little bit on podcasts.
I am a podcast fan.
I do because I end up being on the train a lot in England.
Yeah, I live in the country.
What, done a podcast?
This is the world's shortest podcast. I think more podcasts.
I think men should have to menstruate every month. No, twice a month.
Every day.
Male chickens? They do. Male chickens. They're called roosters. Yeah, I think the world would be a kinder, more compassionate place if men had to give birth. I mean, it would be a game changer.
It happens very slowly.
Yeah, I've done it four times, well, three times.
Three and a half.
Well, it has to.
Yeah. But after that, it's just like, and it just comes out.
It does. But after it's all over, like when it happened to me and I'm fortunate, I had three easy, relatively easy births. I just wanted a cheese sandwich. It was the first thing I wanted. It's like, yeah. Easy to please. I want to have another baby and a cheese sandwich.
It was on the beach, on the boardwalk. He was blowing one leaf. So maybe he was trying to blow the sand.
Okay, but what if it's a black guy who's dressed so badly?
It doesn't happen?
No, that's probably true. What if a black woman tells you you look cool?
That is so rude. I have four kids, and the stalk didn't bring them. Did you plan ahead?
I'm wearing two white sneakers.
How do you know? Is that a come on line?
Yeah, a hard shoe. Did this gentleman used to wear white sneakers and then maybe he, what, maybe he hadn't changed his socks?
So he'd been blowing that leaf probably from five blocks away. It had finally got onto the beach. And his employer had said, if you don't fucking get rid of that leaf, you are done.
Okay. Of his own volition or just people, just women, or men, or whoever just swarmed all over him? Look, I'm not sure because I will say that... I've been propositioned three times on the way here in my white sneakers.
But see, I don't wear socks.
You're also not cool. That black dude would not say that you were cool.
That's true. Well, yeah. Mine are kind of dirty.
Absolutely. Dirty. But see, that's he didn't qualify. Dirty white stinkers need to fuck all the time.
I would say about seven. But can you get another seven in before you reach the next star?
And I've sworn way too much. Now, okay, so if you're doing ADR, right, and there's a lot of swearing in the movie, and they ask you to say a word to replace a cuss word, what will you do?
Yeah. Or I just think they should just beep it. Like in the movie? Yeah, they should just go beep so that you know that someone is cussing rather than saying farm you melon farmer.
You have to have a word that replaces like felucca. Which is, I think, one of the sexiest words ever. Do you know what it is?
No, see, this is the thing. Not only are leaf blowers ugly and they're noise polluting, then your neighbors hate you because in the end all you're doing is blowing the leaves onto your neighbor's lawn. So it's really bad for neighbor relations. They're really bad for your health, not only your ears. Oh, I didn't know this.
Yeah, on the Nile of Egypt, which is where I'm from. But look. Are you from Egypt? Yeah, I was born there. I've been on many a felucca. Oh, yeah. But look, when you say felucca, look. Felucca. If I was on the other side of the train here and I looked at you and I went, Falooka, it'd be on, right?
I'm wearing white sneakers, so I probably wouldn't. I'm married. So am I. But if you said Falooka to me... You know. Felucca. Felucca. We have to say it softly. Felucca.
And the other one is peach.
That could be a... See, we need more podcasts.
On this train? Are you here because of Black Bag?
No, I've made a film with Steven Soderbergh again after, oh God, however many years. It's a spy movie and Fassbinder's in it. And Tom Burke, who I'm also on stage with, not right this minute, but in London. But I have to go back and get back on stage. And I'm not wearing white sneakers, I'm wearing Birkenstocks. Which are super, super duper sexy.
And actually, I don't like socks with sandals at all. But Birkenstocks with socks... I think that's really cool. So you're in a spy thriller. I am. It's called Black Bag, and it's about this couple, Fassbender and I, who are high-level operative, intelligence operative. So it's a big stretch for me to be an intelligence operative cast against type.
And then he realizes that I'm a suspect in this terribly dangerous thing.
Yeah, along with a lot of other people. And they're totally devoted to each other in their marriage. But, you know, it's this thing about if you can lie about everything in your job, then what's the truth?
Oh, because I said felucca to you?
But I think the rise of cardiac problems has gone through the roof because people are not doing the physical exercise.
How much longer will you be married, perhaps? What? You've been married for four years and you can't remember it's four... I've been married 28 years and I can remember that.
And were you together for a long time before you got married?
Do you have anniversaries?
Oh, maybe it feels like it's a year.
Yes.
Make your fucking kids do it.
Okay.
You deconvert.
So she re-became a Christian again?
It's true. The rake, you have to move it. Your lats are getting weaker and weaker. It's like with phones. We're using this digit is now the most powerful digit around.
Oh, wow. So you brought her back?
Which is a fabulous place.
I can understand that. The mosques in Turkey are pretty spectacular.
As is this sun. So you spend most of your day underground, like a mole.
Last time I was here. My son's at NYU, so I traveled. But this is good because people still do weird stuff. Whereas in London, honestly, people are just on their phones.
Yeah, on buses and people giving themselves pedicures or saying weird stuff or what they're reading, reading books upside down.
No, this person was actually reading. Really? Or maybe they were reciting something else. Yeah. That's interesting.
See? The carriage is like a Quaker church. Everyone gets a chance to speak.
And so everyone can chime in.
People were quite, yes, yes.
Oh, yes, definitely.
I once did drag at Stonewall to raise money because the Sandy Hook parents, much-needed... And they thought that's an amazing drag of Cate Blanchett. That's so good. But I'm really bad at playing myself. This is excruciating.
It's interesting, isn't it?
Ha ha ha ha.
100%.
Oh, God.
I know how important it is to stay on top of the news. But let's be honest, sometimes it can be a lot to take in. That's why you should check out 5 Good Things. Every Saturday, we highlight the good stuff happening around the world. Because there's plenty of it, I promise. Hear 5 Good Things on Saturday mornings, wherever you get your podcasts.
100%?
I know I could have used my phone, but, you know, as a millennial, some things must be done on the laptop.
No, you know this. Don't pretend you're like any better than anyone else. You know that millennials, some things must be done on a laptop. Like, for example, in my opinion, like renting a hotel room that you care about. You have to do it. You want to look at the big photos. You want to sit. You want to read the description. You want to compare pricing.
You can do that on an iPhone, but it's not pleasant.
yeah people like like there is a whole thing about how millennials like if you do if you're doing something important buying airplane tickets i i think if i'm buying a ticket just for myself no problem delta app boom book flight it's fine but if i'm buying more than one ticket It's like I'm going I want to sit down.
It's like it's like I think it's like a nostalgic feeling of like when you go used to go sit at your parents computer and make your big purchase or something. I don't know.
So you keep that thing on you, the second screen, you keep that thing on you so you can snipe. You can snipe out who's posting.
That's so tight. I'm not going to lie. That would have gone a long way for me many times. Yeah. Because I get easily duped
it's not new it's the oldest sandals in the world oh maybe this is what you're in montego bay or were you in like yeah okay yeah i think they built another one on the other side of the island that maybe that's what i saw if i would have looked if i would have looked at the instagrams it would have been like fat dudes posting about like guns and and deer and confederate flags and
and i would have been like oh that's just posting from there right and i assume you had a couple of pink guys pink skin guys from the uk there were several no no but not uk pink skins it was all american pink skins okay yeah that's always rough when you walk in and the purple nose boys i love the purple nose boys they're increasingly increasingly rare and i don't know if it's because we live in new york but
You know, like a guy that just drinks so much alcohol, his nose is purple.
But that bulbous, I'm talking about the bulbous.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to start considering that, that extra layer of diligence when booking. Yeah. But yeah, you get my point. So I was, I was, I was happy that I had my laptop. I could have done everything this week. Probably it would have been fine. You know, I've gone many days without the laptop and this is actually something I learned from, from Karina, uh, She's very phoned.
Like, she would work on her phone only. Like, she didn't really have a laptop. And I was like, how are you doing that? And so I started doing it. And I was like, oh, this is great. You know, like, I don't really use my laptop that much. But for certain things, I like to use it.
Wow. Yeah, I mean, Karina, I gave her my old laptop. And she doesn't use it. But she does have one. But technically...
it was a hand-me-down i don't know i i think because i don't know they're not businessmen like us maybe yeah we're like korean businessmen we're always hustling always on the grind and they are not korean businessmen by any means no no no it's funny she's like i got i'm going to do a little bit of work right now and then she'll go sit on my couch and she's on her phone i'm like oh okay it's kind of tight though
How can she do work on her phone when she's designing? I think it's... Doesn't she need CAD? Doesn't she need AutoCAD?
I mean, there's a lot of things that are sad about it, but what in particular? I didn't even look at Like, you know, like the watercolor thing? Yeah. It just looks like... it just looks like a graphic that they provided. That's amazing. That's so sad.
Yeah. I am looking at it right now. I pulled it up, but it legitimately looks like she was on paperless post.com and they were like, Oh, here's an option with like a tree. And she was like, cool, I'll pick that one.
Well, it was done on her phone, so I guess I don't feel that bad.
I mean, that's cool.
That's cool that she was able to do that. No, she got mad skills. Wait, so let's talk about that ASAP Ferg episode that everyone just listened to. I'm sure people have. It was nice to catch up, but I think people are here to hear about the damn podcast. Yeah.
It was fun. It was a fun day. It was me, Anthony, those who will not be named, and Rami. Okay. And I think they, yeah. And they wanted us. So I don't remember what month this was. It was a while ago, but they wanted to meet uptown at Harlem, which makes sense. They sat for the whole gang or Harlem boys, all the ASAP mob is. And so I was like, dude, it was like at like 11 AM or something.
So we took an Uber XL, which I like, you know, I was like, you know, we deserve an Uber XL. Yeah. I get that. Cause I here's the, here's the other thing.
about interviewing all this big talent is they're always showing up in uber xls and and i'm like well i'm also the talent i'm arguably as important as them so why am i not showing up in uber xls i also had four people in tow but it is it is funny that like once you get the uber xl you're like i have to you know i love taking the uber xl so we took the uber xl up to harlem
And met on like a hundred and I don't remember it. Let me check the emails. I can check the emails. Oh, nice. Let's see here.
Just type in Ferg.
I'm just using, I'm just typing in Ferg. Is that short for Ferguson, by the way? I think it is.
It doesn't say where it was happening. I mean, I could find it, but I don't want to hold people up. By the way, that's also crazy. That's so hot to be wearing cowboy boots. Well, that's the thing. He had his uncle with him, who was dope. He was really swagged out. And then he also had his cousin with him, who was also swagged out. So it was a lot of swaggy magic.
And then there was also his assistant. I forgot her name. Dude, this is too far away. I mean, it's September, October, November, December, January, February. Six months ago, so don't blame me. And he was really, really funny. It was a really easy episode to shoot. Usually it's a little difficult. But, you know, we got lucky in a number of ways. One, he was on time. I consider that luck.
when you're working with talent because most of the time they are not on time uh and i'm you know people have been literally an hour late plus and the ones that go plus i i leave i just say i'm not doing this yeah it's rude and an hour is the most i'm willing to give to a major celebrity but if it's more than an hour i'm i'm sorry tough luck we were lucky because he was on time
there was really good air conditioning on the train oh that's so nice yeah really good really good air conditioning on the train and it just wasn't busy it was just very it was a great shoot because we got on the train uptown and we just rode it downtown for like legitimately 45 minutes and we just kept going Just like we didn't have to get off. It never got full.
I don't remember what train that was, but it was fucking magical. I mean, it was like a weird train. Like it's probably the one, right?
Well, brother, here's the thing about me. The facts.
Oh, really? There's a world where maybe we wanted short episodes. I don't remember. There's two things that could be possible. One is that we record it for 45 minutes and cut it down to 12 minutes. Right. Right. Possible. Because we want it to. Right. Or we record it for 20 minutes and we cut it down to 12 minutes.
Yeah, people, you know, people have known, people have, are, are known to consider me someone who exaggerates or is just a little loose with the timeline. But I, I just don't know. I'm just assuming in my mind we shot for 45 minutes, but we may have not shot for 45 minutes. Have you spoken to Ferg since? I have not spoken to Ferg since, but what was, oh, let's see here. What's the word here?
What are you guys shooting? Yeah. I don't know. I'm still looking, but I can't find it. What was the question?
Oh, that's nice. But I forgot his cousin's name.
yeah it's in the episode dude this is i mean what am i supposed to do it's like this is so far away yeah i think gmail stops letting you search by the way that's a challenge with mobile gmail on mobile you can only go back so far in your emails you have to be on your desktop and i learned that too by the way right you need to have a computer if you're an adult doing business yeah i agree with that we should have gotten hyundai genesis's
They are Genesises. Yeah. Yeah. We need to get Genesises. Anyways, yeah, the episode was great. Ferg is tight. He's funny. He's really funny. And, you know, I think it comes through in the episode. No, I love the episode.
What was his take again?
Oh, yeah.
Not just that Tyler Perry type shit. Yeah. So my cats, I get a daily update from my cat, from my cat sitter. Yeah. They have broken an expensive and nice, like, fruit bowl.
And they're uncontrollable. Yeah. Or, and I actually, you know what? They were probably mad that we're not home.
What are you doing for the rest of the day? Uh, today I'm going to go to the beach. Okay. You haven't been to the beach yet. I haven't been to the beach yet because the first day we got here, we got here at like 4 PM.
uh or 3 p.m and then yesterday it was partially cloudy actually it was pretty it was pretty cloudy cloudy and rainy all day but now the forecast is supposed to be great for the rest of our stay so i'll swing by the beach i'll swing by the beach i'll read that book that you gave me by that guy gay what's his name gay gay hendrix i actually don't know his name i think his name is gay hendrix
It's literally Gay Hendrix I'm looking at right now. That's amazing. Future Hendrix. Gay Hendrix.
His name is literally Gay Hendrix. That's amazing. So I'm going to read the Gay Hendrix book that you gave me.
Abundance Mindset. I mean, I live it, so I'm curious to see if there's any lessons I'll learn. I'm sure there are lessons I will learn, but we'll see. You know me. I'm skeptical because I'm... I feel pretty aligned with my inner self and I know who I am really well. And I'm even the flaws in me. I know, like I'm like, I know what I am.
So sometimes I'm like, I don't need anyone to tell me who I am. Cause I already know, but I am going into it with an open mind as I do many things.
You know what I don't like about the book?
So bad. Uh, I do mind gay Hendricks.
Yes. I think that's. And then I think that the goldfish, it looks like clip art. Yeah. It looks like a paperless post invitation. It looks like your wife painted it. So the cover art for the book is a goldfish jumping from a small bowl to a large bowl. And the saddest thing about both bowls is that there's literally no accoutrement.
Yeah. Well, that's bad, but I think what's worse is that there's nothing... Here's the thing. Life is a bowl. There's no way to be free of the bowl, in my opinion. We live in a system. Okay. The only way to get out of the system is to truly... You're like, I'm opting out. I'm going to live off the land. I'm going to live in a hut and have a farm, and I'm just going to opt out.
If there's, you know, you can make your bowl huge. You can be a guy that does, I'm independent TV. I'm an independent music artist. I don't care about labels, blah, blah, blah. Like you can make your bowl bigger, but you're still in a bowl of capitalism. And like, you have to have money. So,
The thing that is sad, I mean, I don't mind the bulls because I'm jumping from one bull to another, but I want at least a little sand in my bull, maybe a little tree. A little house, a little sandcastle bull in the bull? Yeah, a little army man, a little army guy.
but like think about how much better the cover would be if he was jumping from a small empty bowl to a large bowl with accoutrement well yeah i mean that's like super fancy right i just don't know how you would fit all that on the cover of a book are you looking at the book i'm looking at the cover no i'm not i mean i know it by memory though because i i've seen it so many times why can't you fit it on the cover
It's already on there, dude. It's already on there.
I want everything to remain exactly the same, except in the large bowl. I'd like the large bowl to be a little more welcoming and a proper step up. It's almost like you're moving from a small house to a big house, and both houses are empty.
Yeah, it's like, what's the point?
I might cold email him, take your strategy and cold email him. I love a cold email. The colder, the better. I'd be like, I really like your book, but I don't think it's cool that the fishbowl is empty.
I don't think this goes on YouTube. I think this just goes on Spotify and Apple and such, right? This is a podcast-only special. And we're not calling this anything. This is just an accoutrement. It's the big bowl with dressing.
Oh, my God, dude.
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Cloutremont is definitely my word. I'm not even crazy. I'm not being, I'm not being silly.
Be honest.
I'm not being silly. That's crazy.
and per diem is my word too no i'll give you per diem although to be honest i start well i do all the i do all the budget so i start talking about per diems everyone's getting quite a bit as well actually yeah but you were you were talking about per diems not as a joke no yeah i was functionally discussing how we control our costs yes that's right and so yeah the per diem is mine and so is accoutrement anyways well we can we can find the first usage
What the fuck were you talking about?
Well, this goes in... You mean it goes in the Ferg episode?
Disney, holler at your boy.
Yeah, just put a little logo there.
I guess so. Okay. Alright. So we don't have a name left?
Okay, so it's for the heads. Let's let the heads... Anyway, I don't know. Let's let them discover it. Okay. Maybe you should introduce yourself. No one knows who you are.
They're going to be like, who's this guy that Kareem's talking to?
Andrew who? Well. steals my accoutrement crazy you're crazy that you would literally think that anyways i think this is great i think we're hanging out i think we're done i think i'm going to the beach what are you gonna do today i gotta figure out how i'm gonna i'm gonna do all these home renovations around the house That's fun.
By the way, I think that this Riverside is working well because right now it says that there's 992 out of 996 megabytes have been uploaded to the cloud.
So I think it's real-time uploading. It's 99% uploaded. Yeah.
So anyways, I guess we'll see You, dear listener, the next time we have a short episode, Subway takes on cut.
More eggs. which are expensive now. So that's nice. Eggs are so expensive. Dude, eggs are literally, they literally are expensive.
They're $10. For one egg? No, for like 12 eggs. Okay, right. Yeah, that makes more sense. But they used to be like $3. Oh, then that's too much. I mean, do you not look at the price of eggs? I don't think about it that much. Wow.
Let me know.
I've been doing every time he does. Every time he sends APB, I do it. I love it. I don't know if it's worked out well for me, but. He's so conservative. He is really conservative. He's a bit conservative. I'm more of a big swings kind of guy.
I don't think we can talk about that. That's for another episode.
I think this is it. This is the end.
Thank you. Okay.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, shout out to Tyler McCullough for the music. It's pretty good. I love it. He's a man. He's a great guy. Great guy. All right. He's a man. Okay. Okay, bye. Okay, bye.
We lost divinity.
Your safety is important to us. Please stand away from the platform edge.
Yeah.
But you want to be a vegan?
I mean, life is a lot different. You know, I have to prioritize new things now.
That's exactly right. That's the definition of hanging out for me.
Except for the animal fucking. Okay, alright.
Here we go.
I only see the numbers counting down on your screen. But it does say it's recording. Yeah, we're recording, I think. This is the inaugural episode of Third Rail. Well, we don't know what this is yet.
Okay, so we don't know what this is, but it's something that people will be listening to. This is the first time anyone has ever
I think we're doing a pretty good job. I'm in Miami right now. Yeah, how is it? It's great.
I mean, the weather's wonderful. I have a beautiful view of the beach, which I haven't seen in a long time. And the laptop that I'm recording on right now was just shipped to me via UPS for $350, which I think is actually a pretty good deal because I forgot my laptop earlier.
on my counter before i left the house on saturday i think it's just amazing that you can ship something across country in like two days actually it's not even across country it's down country it's down country yeah how much would the shipping have to be to where you're just like it i'll just buy a new laptop i mean i guess it's the same whatever the price of the laptop is a thousand dollars i guess
I guess that's a bad laptop. I mean, part of me considered going to Best Buy and buying one of those little weird laptops. Like an HP.
It is literally a plane ticket.
It's pretty much like an airplane ticket for... my computer who flew in some sort of airplane. Yeah. I mean, there's no way that the laptop was driven to Miami.
He flew in an airplane. Why is it a key? Because it's my boy, my, my son. Wait, but that is really funny because my original idea, like right when I landed and actually right when I got to the airport in New York, which is where I realized that I didn't have my personal belongings. I was like, okay, I can just buy an iPad and just, and just use that for the week.
But then I was like, I already have an iPad and I've had iPads my whole, like since iPads came out, I've never used iPads. for anything except for snorting coke and playing spotify and now watching my baby on the baby monitor so i was like I don't do the cocaine anymore, so there's not really a point of having two iPads.
I know, but now I just use the Spotify on my phone. I don't need an iPad on the table because the iPad was nice for controlling Spotify and doing lines off of it.
the ipad that was playing the music but i don't think i want to do that with the ipad that is i'm watching my child is that was that the ipad mini that feels like that's not really enough surface area depending on the pile of cocaine i feel like no i had the regular ipad okay that makes sense it was at my first apartment in manhattan but yeah i think that you're about right though it's probably like
I think it would have had to have been like, yeah, $650, $700, maybe $800 is when you go, all right, you know, we got to figure something out here.
I mean, I just got here this morning, and I was more so relieved because I don't, I mean, here's the thing. I have everything in the cloud. Like, there's zero litter left.
on my desktop it's uncluttered there's not a single piece of litter on my desktop everything is in the cloud so this laptop could fall off a building and i just replace it doesn't matter to me i learned a long time ago how powerful it is to have everything in the cloud then why do you need the laptop in the first place why you just because i don't have a i don't have a device you have a phone
What are you, a fucking medieval lord?
That's wild. I know, we're all wild. Warum dich ein bisschen Regen nicht auffällt. Warum Laufen zum Ritual wird. Also laufe und fühle das Runners High.
$500?
I have two, bro.
You walk through love.