André Duqum

I think it's a big theme certainly with a lot of successful high-performing individuals is that oftentimes the things that drove us to that place were either a fear of not being worthy or loved or – yeah, so it's fascinating to examine where that still lives within us.

Mm-hmm.

it's such a persistent and enduring illusion delusion that our ideal life is someday in the future like there will be a point when i finally accomplish x y and z and i will satisfy this unending hole within myself that will finally be enough you know and it feels like also sometimes one of those lessons that you need to learn the hard way yeah like

It's, it's how many bumper sticker quotes do we need to say before, you know, we, we realize what a lot of these cliches are saying about it being the journey, not the destination, et cetera.

Um, yeah, I'm just curious what, uh, how often that, that realization needs to be met and experienced firsthand in someone's life before being, you know, heard on a podcast and finally get it.

Uh, but yeah, it just seems like such a big theme for all of us.

It's fascinating to examine how many of our behaviors are being driven for a search of safety, whether it's through the relationships, the type of people we look for when we date, our career, all aspects of life.

And in that aspect, I'm curious how anxiety is actually like an adaptive response.

How is it an intelligent response?

system.

Because from your perspective, I just love to hear that as it's obviously an epidemic, right?

We have the loneliness epidemics, we have this anxiety crisis.

And amidst a time where we have more external wealth, abundance and comfort, we have widespread internal poverty, so to speak.

And so I'm curious what your thoughts are on anxiety, how it's an adaptive response.

It makes me think of the whole world of defense mechanisms and the way we meet life, right?

with resistance fundamentally.

You write that cynicism is more seductive because it's easier to critique the world than it is to change yourself.

What are the cascade of potential defense mechanisms that one might find themselves enacting in any arena of life and why are they important to examine?

Sarcastic, perhaps, sometimes.

Yeah.