Andy Bernard

And I have this memory like it was yesterday of, I don't know if you ever had this experience where you're running fast and then there's no ground beneath your feet and you're just sort of windmilling your feet with no ground underneath it.

And then I very clearly remember seeing, well, not clearly because I don't remember exactly, but it was like 17 or 18 miles an hour before I like sort of flew into the air, which for reference is like getting thrown out of a golf cart.

Uh-huh.

Not too bad.

Hmm.

And then, so like my,

My quarter eyes totally shredded off my legs.

So I landed on my elbows and forearms.

And Dan Gore, who was one of the people watching, said you could tell I was really hurt because I immediately popped off the ground and said, like, I'm fine, I'm fine.

This is what people do when they're really hurt.

I did get really mummified.

I had to go to my cousin's wedding like an hour afterwards.

Oh, no.

They used...

You know, like that gauze, not even like bandage, but, you know, that gauze that you can see through.

And they wrapped it all around my arms and legs, which were pretty skinned.

And then I got on the plane.

And then when I arrived in Portland, I went into the drugstore and bought a ton of like nonstick gauze and stuff.

And then I had seen that all the scabs had formed like in the bandage.

Anyway, that's gross.