Andy Tegel

So now that you have that full breakdown, take a little time to think about how things are handled in your home.

Does everybody share the load in each category?

Takeaway three, interrogate why you carry the mental load you carry or don't.

For example, maybe you feel entitled to do a little less of the cooking because you bring home a little more of the bacon than your partner.

Maybe you know you're carrying a lot more around the house, but that feels just a little easier than trying to explain or offload all the planning, prepping, decision-making that goes into any one family activity.

In one survey, Leah and her fellow researchers found that women in the U.S.

were responsible for over 70 percent of the domestic mental load.

And she says there are whole categories of work that she's found men and fathers don't bother to carry at all because they know their partners already have those things covered.

Assumptions like that one stem from some pervasive cultural myths that Leah says do everybody a disservice.

When we get back from the break, Leah will teach you how to audit your mental load and hopefully get you on the path to less stress about book club politics and more guilt-free dreaming about that solo vacation.

You're listening to Life Kit and it's time for Takeaway 4.

Your time and energy are limited resources.

Make a mental load budget to make sure you're not exceeding your daily capacity.

Here's Leah's quick breakdown for how to do that.

So refer back to those categories you've already been thinking about.

Which are your favorite?

Which are the absolute worst?

If you're partnered or have a roommate or kids or all of the above, are there perhaps any simple trades to be made?

Whole items to throw away?

Maybe you have a friend or coworker who has been really overdrawing your emotional support lately and it's time to kindly pull back.