Andy Zaltzman

Fundamentally, Keir Starmer could save a drowning puppy from a river and give it back to its distraught eight-year-old owner, and most of the British media would report it as Keir Starmer tries to feed weeping child to carnivore.

It's hard for him.

It's hard.

Well, yeah, so reform did pretty well in the local elections, but they do seem to have plateaued somewhat.

No sign that they can get beyond the 25 to 30 percent of voting voters who support the things that reform support that are massively unpopular.

So it's hard to see how reform can become popular.

more uh more popular but yes so a reformed councillor has has quit um because it turns out that being a councillor is quote dull and boring um alice that's uh i mean is this a just a rare blast of actual honesty from a politician

And we can't move for dead possums on the roads over here, Alice.

I mean, who would have thought that the everyday drudgery of trying to actually help people in the area you represent and trying to find some actual money to pay for some actual stuff to be done was less fun than barking on about immigrants ruining the country and twerking an imaginary statue of King Arthur.

No one could possibly...

have foreseen that his uh his leader nigel farage is facing a parliamentary investigation after receiving a a five million pound donation from a thai-based crypto billionaire with which he instantly bought a one and a half million pound house uh for and is now facing a parliamentary investigation for not declaring the uh the gift which happened before he was an mp um

But I guess, you know, he who has never received a £5 million donation with no strings attached from a dubious offshore crypto billionaire and then bought a house with the money, cast the first stone.

You know, we've all been in very similar positions.

So if Starmer is turfed out of office at some point later this year, it will continue this insane prime ministerial churn.

To put it in context, Prince George, the son of Prince William, who's the son of the current king, who was the son of the previous queen, Prince George, born in 2013, Keir Starmer would be his seventh prime minister ever.

And he's not even 13 years old yet.

So I mean, it's possible that he might receive his seventh prime minister on the day of his bar mitzvah.

Sorry, that's not public domain.

Prince William has, well, he had five prime ministers by the time he was 34.

By the time he was 13, he'd only had two.