Anna Lembke

And it was just, you know, wonderfulness for him.

So because that cycle was so entrancing for him, he started to do it more and more.

And he kind of came to rely on it as a physiologic crutch for managing his mood.

But over time, what he found was that

The cycle got shorter and shorter and the anticipation and pleasure that he got from it got less and less to the point where as soon as he opened the box and got what he had ordered, it was over.

And then he'd be online again trying to buy the next thing.

And eventually he ended up with rooms in his house full of stuff that he didn't need or want.

and tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt.

And yet even then, he couldn't stop.

So what he started to do as kind of a last resort is he bought like these cheap items, key chains, mugs, caps, cheap sunglasses, things he didn't need or want.

And then as soon as he got them, he would return them.

Wow.

Because he didn't have any money.

But he couldn't break the shopping cycle.

Jacob was a Stanford scientist.

And by the way, let me just emphasize that I got permission from my patients to relay their stories.

And I use pseudonyms and hide other identifying features.

So Jacob was a Stanford scientist who came to me seeking help specifically for a severe sex addiction, so sex pornography, compulsive masturbation.

And what he described was in the 90s, he used pornography and he

masturbated, you know, as much as daily, but it was never unmanageable.