Ari Matti

I've always struggled with my masculinity.

I think it's because I like bubble baths, which is really confusing because now ice baths are cool.

It's like, what, you get in a tub of ice, you're manly and you're stoic, but you had some soap and you're a pussy.

I don't know how to treat people, man.

I saw this homeless guy the other day and he asked me for money.

I opened my wallet, I only had $2, so I told him no.

Then the next day I came back and he was dead.

And when something like that happens, it really, like, fucks with you, but it teaches you to appreciate things in life.

Like, I am so grateful I didn't give that guy any money.

Because he's fucking dead now, and it's a tale as old as time.

You know what they say?

A bird in the hand beats two in a dead homeless, guys.

In a bush.

I've been getting a little freakier in the bedroom, uh,

Recently, I had sex in the Amazon position.

Yeah, it's pretty hot.

It's when I'm on top and she's at her phone looking at throw pillows.

All right, thank you, guys.

I don't know.

I was just, yeah.