Ari Matti

The guy's blind and is like, don't do stand-up comedy. Yes, 100%. Okay, you stated the very obvious there. How much, wait, no, I'm curious. How much money do you make doing stand-up comedy, Tony? Okay, all right. Is it $3,000 a month?

Actually, you've lost a lot of weight.

Actually, you've lost a lot of weight.

Actually, you've lost a lot of weight.

I had a fucking orange and a bunch of grapes, actually. I just drove from Dallas. I was doing a show there, drove here. All that you ate today was an orange and a bunch of grapes.

I had a fucking orange and a bunch of grapes, actually. I just drove from Dallas. I was doing a show there, drove here. All that you ate today was an orange and a bunch of grapes.

I had a fucking orange and a bunch of grapes, actually. I just drove from Dallas. I was doing a show there, drove here. All that you ate today was an orange and a bunch of grapes.

I woke up at like 3 p.m.

I woke up at like 3 p.m.

I woke up at like 3 p.m.

Because I'm a comic.

Because I'm a comic.

Because I'm a comic.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Where were you last night at 2 a.m.? I was at the Capitol, dude. I fucking... Yeah, no. I just drove here. I got super drunk last night after the show.

Where were you last night at 2 a.m.? I was at the Capitol, dude. I fucking... Yeah, no. I just drove here. I got super drunk last night after the show.

Where were you last night at 2 a.m.? I was at the Capitol, dude. I fucking... Yeah, no. I just drove here. I got super drunk last night after the show.

I took the bus last week and I sit in the back of the bus and I think I'm alone on the bus until at one point I look to the front and there's another guy there and he has the down syndrome. I'm not saying nothing bad about him. He just got it. And he notices me too. And he starts playing the game with me of whoever looks away first is a pussy. And you know me, dog.