Ari Matti

I had a fucking orange and a bunch of grapes, actually. I just drove from Dallas. I was doing a show there, drove here. All that you ate today was an orange and a bunch of grapes.

I woke up at like 3 p.m.

I woke up at like 3 p.m.

I woke up at like 3 p.m.

Because I'm a comic.

Because I'm a comic.

Because I'm a comic.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Where were you last night at 2 a.m.? I was at the Capitol, dude. I fucking... Yeah, no. I just drove here. I got super drunk last night after the show.

Where were you last night at 2 a.m.? I was at the Capitol, dude. I fucking... Yeah, no. I just drove here. I got super drunk last night after the show.

Where were you last night at 2 a.m.? I was at the Capitol, dude. I fucking... Yeah, no. I just drove here. I got super drunk last night after the show.

I took the bus last week and I sit in the back of the bus and I think I'm alone on the bus until at one point I look to the front and there's another guy there and he has the down syndrome. I'm not saying nothing bad about him. He just got it. And he notices me too. And he starts playing the game with me of whoever looks away first is a pussy. And you know me, dog.

I took the bus last week and I sit in the back of the bus and I think I'm alone on the bus until at one point I look to the front and there's another guy there and he has the down syndrome. I'm not saying nothing bad about him. He just got it. And he notices me too. And he starts playing the game with me of whoever looks away first is a pussy. And you know me, dog.

I took the bus last week and I sit in the back of the bus and I think I'm alone on the bus until at one point I look to the front and there's another guy there and he has the down syndrome. I'm not saying nothing bad about him. He just got it. And he notices me too. And he starts playing the game with me of whoever looks away first is a pussy. And you know me, dog.

If you want to fuck with me, I'll fuck you back. So I stare this motherfucker down. And we keep going. I miss my stop. Now who's retarded, huh? And it was one of those buses, you know where the middle part has this slinky accordion? So every time the bus would turn, me and my guy would lose each other. And then every time it straightened out. There he is.

If you want to fuck with me, I'll fuck you back. So I stare this motherfucker down. And we keep going. I miss my stop. Now who's retarded, huh? And it was one of those buses, you know where the middle part has this slinky accordion? So every time the bus would turn, me and my guy would lose each other. And then every time it straightened out. There he is.

If you want to fuck with me, I'll fuck you back. So I stare this motherfucker down. And we keep going. I miss my stop. Now who's retarded, huh? And it was one of those buses, you know where the middle part has this slinky accordion? So every time the bus would turn, me and my guy would lose each other. And then every time it straightened out. There he is.

The only moment when he broke eye contact was because in one of the bus stops from the middle door, a lady enters the bus and she has, I don't even know how to say this, but she's got... They were so big that the tits were on the bus. She almost missed it. You know what I'm saying? And me and my guy, we like both at the same time, we like both look at the tits.