Ari Matty

So I met up at my usual spot, Frazier's.

You're a fucking psycho.

Let's see.

This is a little difficult on my phone, but let's see here.

I got a winner, right?

wow okay this has gone on way too long but i gotta tell you this is unbelievable unbelievable flirting there's a saying in estonian that the guy who ends up fucking the girl always comes from the corner that's you dude with that game i love it i don't know about that but didn't you all think the saying would be way cooler than that

So I live out in the country.

I just found out what code switching is.

It's so fun.

Like, it's a new way to get out of speeding tickets, code switching to a little pretty girl.

But I'm aware of it now.

So my little sister plays on a special needs baseball team.

It's called the Challenger League.

It's a great name.

But...

I coach on it sometimes, and I'm just there because some of the moms can't handle some of them, so I get to get sacrificed off the survivor tribe to wrangle.

But one day, the pitcher on the team didn't want to throw the ball.

Now, his name's Donnie.

He's the smallest guy in his family.

He's 6'2".