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312 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

Thank God, though, it wasn't a party you were throwing at your house. That's true. Where your mind went, Dax, though, is actually what happened. So the officer told me that the reason he even found out about this is that the parolee did believe it was a sting.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

So I did get some more details on the man because at this point I'm spinning out of control. The officer's trying to calm me down, but also he's an officer, so he can't just be like, nah, everything's fine. He tells me that truly he committed so many crimes in four or five states to the point where he's about an 80-something-year-old man. He has lived most of his life in prison.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

So I did get some more details on the man because at this point I'm spinning out of control. The officer's trying to calm me down, but also he's an officer, so he can't just be like, nah, everything's fine. He tells me that truly he committed so many crimes in four or five states to the point where he's about an 80-something-year-old man. He has lived most of his life in prison.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

So I did get some more details on the man because at this point I'm spinning out of control. The officer's trying to calm me down, but also he's an officer, so he can't just be like, nah, everything's fine. He tells me that truly he committed so many crimes in four or five states to the point where he's about an 80-something-year-old man. He has lived most of his life in prison.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

I've never heard an officer talk this way, but he started saying, I don't believe in punishment, but I believe this man deserves punishment. Like, it's disgusting what he's done. And then he gave me his name and a photo. He encouraged me to look up what he had done. Oh, my God. It was bad.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

I've never heard an officer talk this way, but he started saying, I don't believe in punishment, but I believe this man deserves punishment. Like, it's disgusting what he's done. And then he gave me his name and a photo. He encouraged me to look up what he had done. Oh, my God. It was bad.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

I've never heard an officer talk this way, but he started saying, I don't believe in punishment, but I believe this man deserves punishment. Like, it's disgusting what he's done. And then he gave me his name and a photo. He encouraged me to look up what he had done. Oh, my God. It was bad.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

Yes. And this officer was a little funny. He said to me, I don't think you have to worry because of his age. He can't really drive. He can't really see that well. He does have an ankle monitor. He's not allowed to leave his house. But make no mistake, if you do find yourself in a room with him, you are engraved in.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

Yes. And this officer was a little funny. He said to me, I don't think you have to worry because of his age. He can't really drive. He can't really see that well. He does have an ankle monitor. He's not allowed to leave his house. But make no mistake, if you do find yourself in a room with him, you are engraved in.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

Yes. And this officer was a little funny. He said to me, I don't think you have to worry because of his age. He can't really drive. He can't really see that well. He does have an ankle monitor. He's not allowed to leave his house. But make no mistake, if you do find yourself in a room with him, you are engraved in.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

Apparently, he doesn't even really understand phones because he was in prison so long. So he actually never saw the photo of my daughter, but he did see the words, you're invited. And so he's eighth birthday party.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

Apparently, he doesn't even really understand phones because he was in prison so long. So he actually never saw the photo of my daughter, but he did see the words, you're invited. And so he's eighth birthday party.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

Apparently, he doesn't even really understand phones because he was in prison so long. So he actually never saw the photo of my daughter, but he did see the words, you're invited. And so he's eighth birthday party.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

This really is. The officer offered, because he could sense he was not going to put me at ease, to geolocate the person the day of the party. I was like, can you just send a whole troop here to the bowling alley? But then realized that might be much. I hang up with him. That's the plan. Text him day of.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

This really is. The officer offered, because he could sense he was not going to put me at ease, to geolocate the person the day of the party. I was like, can you just send a whole troop here to the bowling alley? But then realized that might be much. I hang up with him. That's the plan. Text him day of.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

This really is. The officer offered, because he could sense he was not going to put me at ease, to geolocate the person the day of the party. I was like, can you just send a whole troop here to the bowling alley? But then realized that might be much. I hang up with him. That's the plan. Text him day of.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party

But then I face this super serious moral dilemma of do I tell the parents who are coming to the party...