ArrDee

Do you know what I'm saying?

I see it.

I don't know, because it's always like...

Or the grass could be greener on other sides.

Yeah, I hate it.

I say to my mum all the time, like, I cannot deal very well with sympathy.

Like, I hate people feeling sorry for it.

It's not my thing.

That's why I'm always like, I said to you when we first got here, like, I've always been super comfortable with these open, vulnerable conversations because if I sat here like this, like, and how does that feel?

Like, I remember I was put through loads of different, like,

therapy people and like we have something over here called cams in the uk where it's like child psychology like there'll be people i'll go see i hated all of them because they'd speak to you really softly and like and then they try and take you down this path and i used to i mean i was

a troubled kid in it but I used to intentionally I'd know the path they were trying to take me down and take them down this road and then they'd realise that I was having them on and that would be when I explored it because I can see what you're trying to do and you're pissing me off I don't want to be here full stop I've been forced to be here and you don't know me so like yeah I've never been good at dealing with that I can see it I can see it but I think the challenge in this is that because this is all about you and us being able to

Do I think I got what I needed?

What you needed, yes.

Probably not.

I definitely didn't feel like that at that time.

At the time, just that encounter.

was more than what I needed.

I didn't know it was what I was missing.

It's like the only way I can describe it is like as a child you have this massive hole in your kind of heart or head or like weird distant memory that you don't really know and you have no idea what it is.