Arsenio Hall

Somebody reminded me in Vegas, I go to see Bruno Mars.

And the dude backstage says, I remember when you put him on.

And I forget things like that.

Bruno Mars was like an embryo.

You know, I mean, he was born on your show.

You delivered him.

Oh, he was performing and slipped in some placenta.

Yes, that Bruno.

But, you know, his dad and the people around him were kind of secretive about his actual age, but I think he was like five.

And I still have people come up and say, dude.

And the cool thing also is they're not always black.

Sometimes it's a white dude who's a lawyer who says, we used to stay in and watch you.

Then we'd go out on a Saturday night back East.

Yeah, I knew I could get him though, because I had a lot of black women on the staff.

You know?

And I said, if he's going to do a show, it's going to be this show.

I got a lot of sisters named Tookie on the staff.

You know?

At the same time while this is going on and I'm experiencing this life, I'm leaving the lot, you know, and there are other people on the lot like Ted Danson doing Cheers or Mary Hart doing Entertainment Tonight.

I leave the lot one night and the guards ask if they can search my car because some instruments are...