Arshia Kapadia

So I remember my eldest uncle, who I call Mamujaan, he came into the room at this point.

He came over and he held me and he said, Arshi, take all the time you want tonight.

No one will disturb you.

I remember standing in that room, wondering what to do.

People kept drifting in and out of the room to pay their last respects to her, but also to check in on me, but they left me alone mostly to my own thoughts.

They say the darkest hour of the night is right before dawn.

I was dreading dawn.

I was hoping the sun would never rise.

The night was stretching endlessly ahead of me, and at some point, I think I dozed off.

And then, I heard the birds chirping, the first glimmer of sunshine through the curtains.

I got up from the floor and I walked over to Ami's dressing table.

I looked at her precious lipsticks and I wondered, what will become of you now?

Then I heard my eldest uncle, Mamujaan, quietly tiptoe into the room.

He came over to me and he said, it's time.

In that moment, all I wanted to do was run back to Ami's dressing table, grab one of her favorite lipsticks and paint her red lips one more time just before she left the house.

So I asked my uncle, may I?

And he said, sorry, beta, but that's not allowed.

Just say a quiet prayer and let her go.

So I said, surely we belong to the Almighty, and to him we shall return.

And they took her away.