Arthur Brooks

So one of the problems that really ambitious people have is that they don't know how to live with themselves.

So ambition, striving, busyness...

is really a way that people anesthetize themselves because they're very, very uncomfortable.

So, you know, I'll give you an example.

One time I was talking to a great friend of mine who traveled constantly for work, constantly for work.

And his wife was just in his grill.

It's just like he had kids and she says that I miss you.

And you always, every year you tell me that this year is going to be different.

And I realized getting to know this guy really, really well, the problem wasn't that his job made him travel too much.

The problem was he didn't want to be home.

He didn't want to be home.

He wanted to be distracted because his life stressed him out so much.

this is what it's like to be a striver is is like having this unbelievably chaotic life and and and you need to distract yourself all the time and so sometimes your ambition will be distracting you sometimes your success will be distracting you sometimes your overriding need to be special or to be applauded by others is your way to distract yourself from all the things that are actually going on all the storms and things inside your head

Right.

And when you have a down moment, then you panic.

And that's when the screen comes out.

Or for that matter, that's when alcohol and drugs come out.

There's very interesting data from the OECD that show that above average, busier than average people are above average risk in alcohol.

in alcohol abuse so you don't think you think of somebody who's an alcohol abuser as an alcoholic as somebody who's down and out you know you know a bum right no it's more likely to be an investment banker it's more likely to be a wealthy successful podcaster and and the reason is because successful strivers anesthetize themselves with drugs and alcohol with pornography with screens with anything that will actually make you like don't leave me alone in here man

I don't want to be alone in there, which is why they're strivers in the first place.