Arthur Brooks

your partner should be your best friend or you should be best friends with your partner but marrying a best friend is not no strategy you got to go through one two and three you got to have a ton of attraction you have to have lots of anticipation euphoria you have to go through the bonding stage of rumination on the other person and then you have to arrive at best friendship through that particular process that's just leapfrogs right to the end yeah exactly right

So this is why a lot of the stuff that we see in modern life is screwing up relationships so much. So dating apps, for example, they short circuit this process. They don't let you get into later stages because you're rejecting people at the storefront. Rejecting too many people at the storefront. That's why you can't solve for love.

So this is why a lot of the stuff that we see in modern life is screwing up relationships so much. So dating apps, for example, they short circuit this process. They don't let you get into later stages because you're rejecting people at the storefront. Rejecting too many people at the storefront. That's why you can't solve for love.

So this is why a lot of the stuff that we see in modern life is screwing up relationships so much. So dating apps, for example, they short circuit this process. They don't let you get into later stages because you're rejecting people at the storefront. Rejecting too many people at the storefront. That's why you can't solve for love.

Plus, people are putting together dating profiles looking for themselves. You curate your choices on the basis of your tastes. And you want somebody who matches your tastes. Do we not mate assortively, though? We have a pretty minimal level of compatibility. And then what really attracts us is complementarity.

Plus, people are putting together dating profiles looking for themselves. You curate your choices on the basis of your tastes. And you want somebody who matches your tastes. Do we not mate assortively, though? We have a pretty minimal level of compatibility. And then what really attracts us is complementarity.

Plus, people are putting together dating profiles looking for themselves. You curate your choices on the basis of your tastes. And you want somebody who matches your tastes. Do we not mate assortively, though? We have a pretty minimal level of compatibility. And then what really attracts us is complementarity.

And dating apps don't actually give us complementarity because you're not like, I want somebody who completes me. I'm a Democrat. I want somebody who's a Republican. You don't say that. It's like, I'm not going to... I mean, the big majority... 71% of Democrats won't date a Republican. 41% of Republicans won't date a Democrat. Why is the difference? Quiz me this, Chris.

And dating apps don't actually give us complementarity because you're not like, I want somebody who completes me. I'm a Democrat. I want somebody who's a Republican. You don't say that. It's like, I'm not going to... I mean, the big majority... 71% of Democrats won't date a Republican. 41% of Republicans won't date a Democrat. Why is the difference? Quiz me this, Chris.

And dating apps don't actually give us complementarity because you're not like, I want somebody who completes me. I'm a Democrat. I want somebody who's a Republican. You don't say that. It's like, I'm not going to... I mean, the big majority... 71% of Democrats won't date a Republican. 41% of Republicans won't date a Democrat. Why is the difference? Quiz me this, Chris.

Why the difference between Democrats and Republicans in a sort of political meeting?

Why the difference between Democrats and Republicans in a sort of political meeting?

Why the difference between Democrats and Republicans in a sort of political meeting?

It's actually simpler than that. So that's good. That's good stuff. Okay. It's about gender. Ah, okay. Who's choosier, men or women? Women. Uh-huh. Who's Democrats, men or women? Women. Ah. Men are more likely to be Republicans. They're like, yeah. It's like, Democrats, I don't know. Show me a picture.

It's actually simpler than that. So that's good. That's good stuff. Okay. It's about gender. Ah, okay. Who's choosier, men or women? Women. Uh-huh. Who's Democrats, men or women? Women. Ah. Men are more likely to be Republicans. They're like, yeah. It's like, Democrats, I don't know. Show me a picture.

It's actually simpler than that. So that's good. That's good stuff. Okay. It's about gender. Ah, okay. Who's choosier, men or women? Women. Uh-huh. Who's Democrats, men or women? Women. Ah. Men are more likely to be Republicans. They're like, yeah. It's like, Democrats, I don't know. Show me a picture.

I think my last date was in 1989 or 1988 or something like that. The Euro's born. Fantastic. Nice. I know. Thanks. Thanks, man. That's okay. And, and, and, but the, the dating app, you set it up so that it's like, I like Sriracha and I want somebody like Sriracha. I want somebody who thinks Austin's cool. And pretty soon you're looking in a mirror. also not hot. You're getting your sibling.

I think my last date was in 1989 or 1988 or something like that. The Euro's born. Fantastic. Nice. I know. Thanks. Thanks, man. That's okay. And, and, and, but the, the dating app, you set it up so that it's like, I like Sriracha and I want somebody like Sriracha. I want somebody who thinks Austin's cool. And pretty soon you're looking in a mirror. also not hot. You're getting your sibling.

I think my last date was in 1989 or 1988 or something like that. The Euro's born. Fantastic. Nice. I know. Thanks. Thanks, man. That's okay. And, and, and, but the, the dating app, you set it up so that it's like, I like Sriracha and I want somebody like Sriracha. I want somebody who thinks Austin's cool. And pretty soon you're looking in a mirror. also not hot. You're getting your sibling.

That's not what we want. We think we want that because we're narcissistic, but we actually don't want that. The happiest couples have lots of difference. They have lots of interlocking personality parts.