Arthur Brooks

When you treat somebody like a pathogen, the way that you stimulate the insular cortex in an entire population is by talking about them in terms of disgust to stimulate that part of the brain. As such... making them utterly anathema and worthy of the greatest barbarity. Justifies mistreatment.

When you treat somebody like a pathogen, the way that you stimulate the insular cortex in an entire population is by talking about them in terms of disgust to stimulate that part of the brain. As such... making them utterly anathema and worthy of the greatest barbarity. Justifies mistreatment.

That's exactly right, because it's the same way that you'd throw away, you'd hose off your shoes after stepping in something awful, or you'd throw away something that's rotted in your fridge, or you'd kill somebody who's an actual pathogen in your society by talking about them in this pathogenic way, stimulating this very, very volatile part of the brain.

That's exactly right, because it's the same way that you'd throw away, you'd hose off your shoes after stepping in something awful, or you'd throw away something that's rotted in your fridge, or you'd kill somebody who's an actual pathogen in your society by talking about them in this pathogenic way, stimulating this very, very volatile part of the brain.

That's exactly right, because it's the same way that you'd throw away, you'd hose off your shoes after stepping in something awful, or you'd throw away something that's rotted in your fridge, or you'd kill somebody who's an actual pathogen in your society by talking about them in this pathogenic way, stimulating this very, very volatile part of the brain.

Okay, take those two things and put them together. That's contempt. When you express contempt for somebody, that's interpreted as hatred. And that's what people do when they get into these suboptimal routines in their marriage. And they'll be like, you always say that. Really? Really? Again? Sweetie, really? And she interprets that as he thinks what I said is worthless. He thinks I'm worthless.

Okay, take those two things and put them together. That's contempt. When you express contempt for somebody, that's interpreted as hatred. And that's what people do when they get into these suboptimal routines in their marriage. And they'll be like, you always say that. Really? Really? Again? Sweetie, really? And she interprets that as he thinks what I said is worthless. He thinks I'm worthless.

Okay, take those two things and put them together. That's contempt. When you express contempt for somebody, that's interpreted as hatred. And that's what people do when they get into these suboptimal routines in their marriage. And they'll be like, you always say that. Really? Really? Again? Sweetie, really? And she interprets that as he thinks what I said is worthless. He thinks I'm worthless.

And that's what leads to this communication breakdown of I love, but she hates. No, I love it. He hates. And then you get divorced. People can literally get divorced because they don't know that their eye rolling is expressing hatred for their partner, which is almost in a way that.

And that's what leads to this communication breakdown of I love, but she hates. No, I love it. He hates. And then you get divorced. People can literally get divorced because they don't know that their eye rolling is expressing hatred for their partner, which is almost in a way that.

And that's what leads to this communication breakdown of I love, but she hates. No, I love it. He hates. And then you get divorced. People can literally get divorced because they don't know that their eye rolling is expressing hatred for their partner, which is almost in a way that.

When you get hatred from another person that you're supposed to love, that is as painful in the limbic system of the brain as physical abuse. That's the same part of the brain. That's the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex in the limbic system that's affected when you're being rejected. That's what motivates social rejection and sadness.

When you get hatred from another person that you're supposed to love, that is as painful in the limbic system of the brain as physical abuse. That's the same part of the brain. That's the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex in the limbic system that's affected when you're being rejected. That's what motivates social rejection and sadness.

When you get hatred from another person that you're supposed to love, that is as painful in the limbic system of the brain as physical abuse. That's the same part of the brain. That's the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex in the limbic system that's affected when you're being rejected. That's what motivates social rejection and sadness.

That's the affective part of all pain, as a matter of fact, that comes from that and is super acute. When you're getting, and you don't say, Holly, did you roll my eyes? No, no, no. You spoke volumes that you didn't think that you were, you didn't even mean it. And so what he does is what they do in the Gottman Marriage Lab is they treat, they teach people. Here's the beautiful thing about it.

That's the affective part of all pain, as a matter of fact, that comes from that and is super acute. When you're getting, and you don't say, Holly, did you roll my eyes? No, no, no. You spoke volumes that you didn't think that you were, you didn't even mean it. And so what he does is what they do in the Gottman Marriage Lab is they treat, they teach people. Here's the beautiful thing about it.

That's the affective part of all pain, as a matter of fact, that comes from that and is super acute. When you're getting, and you don't say, Holly, did you roll my eyes? No, no, no. You spoke volumes that you didn't think that you were, you didn't even mean it. And so what he does is what they do in the Gottman Marriage Lab is they treat, they teach people. Here's the beautiful thing about it.

Most couples just need to say what they really think, which is actually, I love you. I really, really love you. Really? Well, I really, really love you too. So let's not accidentally be telling each other that we hate each other. That's how the contempt comes in. And that's one of the examples of suboptimal habits that can ruin a relationship.

Most couples just need to say what they really think, which is actually, I love you. I really, really love you. Really? Well, I really, really love you too. So let's not accidentally be telling each other that we hate each other. That's how the contempt comes in. And that's one of the examples of suboptimal habits that can ruin a relationship.

Most couples just need to say what they really think, which is actually, I love you. I really, really love you. Really? Well, I really, really love you too. So let's not accidentally be telling each other that we hate each other. That's how the contempt comes in. And that's one of the examples of suboptimal habits that can ruin a relationship.