Ashley
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Go about my life, go back to school. Everything's perfect. Seven months down the road, my parents decided they're going to clear out that side yard. My mom was rescuing turtles or something at the time. And so she wanted this space for these tortoises. I pull out these bushes. Lo and behold, this thing has petrified. So it's just lying there. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
So I hear my mom come inside and she's like, I don't know who would poop in our side yard.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
And my dad is going, I don't know. It must've been a contractor. He's of course thinking that this had to come out of a man. I'm like, what did I do? So I go out and I'm like, what happened? What are you guys doing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Why didn't it get washed away? It's the desert. They don't get enough rain. It snowed and just like froze it and then it was there. It turned into an icicle. I agreed. I was like, it must have been one of these workers, one of the roofers maybe.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
To this day, I am now 38 years old, about to be 39. I've never spoken a word of this, but to one person. We feel so lucky.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Literal dirty work.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
I think that's the female take. I can promise you my husband would have been like, cover it in epoxy. Let's save it. Let's just put it in a case. That's record.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
One, it kind of made me never want to take it again. But even later on with future injuries, I realized it makes me so sick. I can't take opiates at all.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Not since having my kids.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
I think you're making the right decision. There are moments, especially after losing my husband, where that adrenaline rush and that ability to just turn off everything around you seems so tempting. But when you're in that level of grief, the last thing you need is the temptation to just do 180 just because it feels good. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Thanks to you guys. I know everyone does this. I have not been an armchair from day one.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Yeah, we do. When Steve got sick, we were going through chemo and that takes forever. Our first chemo deal was eight hours of a day. We didn't know what to do. We were bored and I was looking for a podcast and I came across you guys. And so we were sharing our little AirPods and It's what we did during his two or three chemo appointments that he had before he passed. It was nice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
It got us through and got us some laughs.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
I'm from Dallas. Oh, you are. Maybe that's why. It's the hair. Were you a Cowboys cheerleader? No, my roommate from college was, though.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Not the most recent one. Do you remember the one that was on the Country Channel years and years ago? That was her season. Making the team.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
My husband did as well. Just kind of kept it in the family.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
We worked for just about every dealer you can think of. We've bought and sold several dealerships over the years, anywhere from a Hyundai to Ford to BMW, Subaru, Mazda, all of them. When we moved to Colorado, we're buying into this BMW and a Mini store. And my husband was very good at fixing dealerships. taking them from being very low profit to being super high profit very quickly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
And so when he got sick and passed away, they kind of shoved me into his role because I knew how his brain worked and what his plans were.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Always. That's your repeat customer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
So this takes place in Albuquerque. Actually, I think y'all were filming Employee of the Month when this took place.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
I was in high school. And mind you, I lost sleep last night. I have not told but one person this story in 23 years since it happened.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
I'm about 16. I had wrecked a motorcycle. Had to have surgery. Along with surgery comes pain medication. Happened to wake up the day after the surgery. I'd also come down with mono.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Street bike. I raced all through high school and partway through college.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Not drinking enough water. My throat hurts. I'm trying to get food down, taking Tylenol on top of it for a fever. It's just this whole perfect storm of things. About nine, 10 days in, I haven't pooped.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
I'm like super duper impacted. My doctor's like, you need to put her on some stool softeners. That should help. And if that doesn't work, try a laxative. So we do that over the course of a couple of days. Finally, I'm like, I got to go. Of course, it's the day that my parents have 15 people over for Bible study. My bathroom is the guest bathroom. I managed to go in there, give birth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
It's essentially labor because it's hard. Two weeks worth. Oh, my God. My best friend was like, you should make a Play-Doh model so they can see. So I get this thing out. I look in the toilet and I'm like, this isn't going anywhere. Sure, sure. Try to flush it. It's not budget.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Now I'm like, okay, I can't go out there and ask for a plunger. I can't leave it here. People are going to want to use this bathroom. I'm looking through the cabinets going, maybe I can break it up and get it down. I find this solo cup. It's under the cabinet that I had left under there from one of my secret parties. Decide I'm going to fish this thing out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
It's bad enough if my parents have to see it, but if all my friends' parents from church have to see it. So I fished this thing out and I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to open the window and toss it, I guess.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents
Can you believe that was in your body? I don't know how I didn't have some kind of rectal prolapse. Giving birth was not even as bad. We'll say that. So I take the screen off the window, toss it out. On our side yard were all these juniper bushes. And so no one ever went over there, tossed it in there and thought, it'll rain, it'll snow, it'll go away. The problem is gone.
Call Her Daddy
Alix Earle: Secrets, Sex & Scandals (FBF)
Hi, I'm Ashley, and I'm Alex's stepmom. Alex is so great with all the kids, and having a free babysitter is always nice.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
It's embarrassing.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Honestly.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I want a new segment called, What's Up With That? Where you just deliver a piece of news. This segment, What's Up With That? Telepathy. What's up with that? I don't know. Next thing.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Yeah, yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
And then you say. What's up with that? Hey, what's up with this? Hey, but what's up with this? Do you hear they invented a new battery?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Spaghetti definitely made the story a lot more...
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Oh, no, you can't eat 200 years worth of spaghetti in one sitting. They'll kill you. I hope Russia doesn't drop a spaghetti bomb on top of us.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Hello, Mr. Ouchie. Look at that. Do you remember? He's like, I'm so sorry.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I don't know.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Right here. No, I know, but where? Ouchie?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Poke his toe and stuff. Ouchie.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Me too.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I know. I wish I would have gotten a video of this. Just dressed as this. It was so scary. You guys pulled up when it was happening. We pulled up. Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
That would be so cool, dude. That would be so rad.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I mean, not a goopsie daisy. You say goopsie daisy? It's oopsie daisy. It's goopsie daisy.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
No, it's not. No one calls it goopsy. Every everybody calls it a goopsy daisy.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
You all female prisoners got it easy. More like a hotel. I mean, Martha Stewart made a nativity scene in prison.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
You keep saying it with different inflections. Is it a prison or was it a prison?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Right now.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Too bad.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I'm not afraid of you anymore.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
You left like no space in between. Gotta bet that dog. How'd they find them dogs? How'd they find them dogs?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
They were looking around his shed and his two feet just still sticking out.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I bet you that's him.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I know you. I know the story. The ghost. The ghost. The haunted. Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
I think you said that.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
Did you feel that? Check your pants. Who pooped in here?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
It was a dead body under the snow. It was a dead body. Oh, no, no. It was a dead body. Did we tell someone?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
He may be dead, but he's our new friend Greg.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
He was alive the whole time. Alive the whole time. It was a Christmas miracle. Alive the whole time. It was alive the whole time. Merry Christmas. That was really good. That was incredible.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
121 - The Drones Have Been Here Before, Telepathy, and New Nuclear Tech
It's going to be way better.
That Was Us
Kate's Fertility Treatment | "Katie Girls" (303)
Hello, friends. Hey, guys. Hey, it's Jack.
That Was Us
Kate's Fertility Treatment | "Katie Girls" (303)
Let's give it to Mims. Go ahead, Mims. Go ahead, Mims. She has to get a cake for her friend. That's right.
That Was Us
Kate's Fertility Treatment | "Katie Girls" (303)
She, I know she wants to, oh, what city? It's not San Francisco.
That Was Us
Kate's Fertility Treatment | "Katie Girls" (303)
He tells her that they've never met anyone like her and they never will. And when he shows up at the door, he says the same.
That Was Us
Kate's Fertility Treatment | "Katie Girls" (303)
Mims. Yes. I think. I hope I'm right. Is it blue?
That Was Us
Kate's Fertility Treatment | "Katie Girls" (303)
Ashley, you dominated. Thank you so much. Thank you. I really enjoyed this. Like I said, I've watched a few times, and I do still intend to send you all an email or voice note. Yes. Because I just love the show and it's just resonated with me on so many different levels.
That Was Us
Kate's Fertility Treatment | "Katie Girls" (303)
Yes, I still will do that. Well, thanks for being on this journey with us.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
It's going good. I'm a huge fan. I found your show a couple months ago and it's helped me through some things that I didn't even know I needed help through.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
So my question is... Basically, how do I set some boundaries with my in-laws and have them respect the grandparent role? Or is this a me problem? And if so, how do I work through it?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
He is... On my side. He's a coward.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I think he tends to be a complete and total coward. And I don't feel this way either. I don't think that any of their behavior is malicious. And I think that he looks at it in a different light than maybe I do. And I don't know if it's just because
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Um, maybe his parents just feel like they are able to be way, way, way more involved than whereas my parents are involved, but they kind of take a step back and let us do our own thing and only give advice or recommendations.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Undermining my parental decisions.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
For instance, around Christmas time, we were trying to lay our one-year-old down for a nap. He was very overstimulated with, you know, just the holidays, the people, the gifts, everything. And just trying to give him a little bit of quiet time away because it was... You know, it was about nap time. It was time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
For sure. And, you know, went to go get him quiet, walked out of the room to go make him a bottle, turned around to go back in. And one of my in-laws, you know, went in and picked him up and said, I didn't want to hear him crying. It's Christmas. And, you know, I'll take care of him. And brought him right back out and just kind of, you know,
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
undermined us in front of the entire family of, no, we're going to take control and we're going to handle this.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I did make an announcement. I said, okay, I think it's time for someone to have a little bit of quiet time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I mean, there've been, there've been countless other situations and, you know, trying to, you know, take control of, well, you know, when he's, when it's time for school, you know, and his time for him to go to school, he's two now. So we've got a couple of years, um, but requesting that they are the ones to homeschool him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Um, where in my head, no, he needs to go to school and he needs to be around, you know, other kids. And if I do decide to homeschool him, that will be me doing that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I, in a way, did, but I probably didn't do it as effectively. I probably left the door a little bit like, oh, yeah, we'll see.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Yeah. And see, and I think like, For instance, there have been several times that I've shut my parents down and said, this is a boundary, do not cross it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I have no problem doing that, but I feel different doing it to his parents.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I think it's the childhood dynamic, honestly. I think that's what it is.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Yeah, and see, so my husband is a first responder. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Yeah, no, but he – so he works a lot. Typically, he works at two different departments, so he works – Um, 48 hours on 24 hours off. Um, we're blessed enough that, you know, they live close. Um, and they take care of watching him, um, on the days that, you know, I'm, I'm working and he's not home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Um, so I, and that's been, it's been that way since, you know, basically since he was born, I returned back to work. So they do have a lot of access to him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
And I know we've been looking into possibly doing like a preschool program a couple of days a week, you know, morning time from like eight to 12 or eight to one or something like that. And I know I mentioned it and there was kind of like this, like, no, like we love having him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
And, you know, but I think it's beneficial for especially he hasn't been around other kids like in a daycare type setting. like, I think it's important for his own, you know, emotional development to be around other kids. Then, you know, I think that that kind of got overlooked in the, in the fact of, but wait, no, we want him like, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Yeah. And I think he feels a lot of, you know, I think it goes back to his childhood, not really being able to properly voice how he feels. That's fair. Him and I have worked through that within our relationship, and we've gotten to a good place with it. But I know there's still that wall up when it comes to how to talk to his own parents.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
And with difficult conversations, typically. I get that. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Oh, they, they a hundred percent are.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. I, I, like I said, I know that they're, you know, anything that they do, it's not malicious at all. We're so grateful and I'm so grateful for everything with them. You know, but I'm just trying to figure out that healthy, healthy boundary. And I think, I think you got, got it spot on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Okay, so first off, I just want to say I'm really nervous, but I love your show, and I've actually just finished your book, Building a Non-Anxious Life, and I just want to say thank you. That really put some things into perspective for me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
No, I'm not really a sports kind of gal, to be honest.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Okay. So I'm going to try to say this as clearly and concisely as possible because I know there's a lot to get into. So my question is, is how do I move forward after discovering my husband's porn addiction and debt that he was hiding? from me related to that. So at the end of January this year, it's about five weeks ago, my husband confessed to me out of the blue.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
I had no idea that anything was going on. I had no suspicions. I had no concerns. I will say we are people of faith. And in the last year, we've been getting more involved in our church, volunteering and just kind of going on a deeper level with that than just kind of the shallow base of just going to Sunday and then doing whatever we want to the rest of the week.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
And so I thought we had come to a really good place. And then he confessed this, that he... felt like he wasn't going to be able to rid himself of this until he came to me with it. And he confessed that he had been struggling with porn his whole life and that he actually has about $5,000 of credit card debt that he racked up on OnlyFans. And so we got into all of that and...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
How do I move forward after discovering my husband's porn addiction and debt that he was hiding from me related to that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
I know you're always saying behavior is a language. And 24 hours, like the very next day, immediately, his entire behavior had changed. And I didn't realize how we had gotten so far from where we began as far as how we interact with each other, what our daily life looks like. And then I didn't realize until he changed it that...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
he had been pulling away for a long time that he wasn't as affectionate as he used to be. Um, and you know, I thought that was partly just, you know, being, you know, we've been together for five years. Um, we're a blended family. We have, uh, one baby together. We have children from other marriages, but, um, our, our, our baby is about a year and a half old.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
And so I just kind of thought it was, you know, just what happens after postpartum, you know, just kind of, you grow apart, you don't, you don't talk as much, you're stressed out, whatever. But, Um, so anyway, he, he has changed his behavior like 180 degrees. Like he's, he's more immediately the next day, he's more affectionate with me. He's talking to me. He's more open with me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
He's like trying to reassure me. He's more involved with the kids rather than just like putting his earbuds in and doing chores or whatever he's doing. He's like more involved with them as well. He's, you know, not getting irritated anymore. with like the baby throwing fits like he was before and just really, really night and day.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
And then two weeks after his initial confession, which mind you, I had asked him, do you have any, like, did you have an affair? No. Um, is there anything else I need to know? No. Two weeks afterwards, I've just kind of like had this like nagging feeling and I kept getting, you know, like the lightning bolt things in my mind and I continue to get those. And
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
And I've had two other serious adult relationships before him. And both of those cheated on me. Both of those had porn addictions as well. And so I just kind of have been through this before, I guess you'd say. And so I decided to go through his phone history. And there was a couple numbers that he would text. every once in a while, like a few times a month.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
And I could see, I don't know, I couldn't read the text, but I know that they were exchanging pictures. And so I confronted him about that. And he admitted that those were people that he does know, girls that he does know, that he would basically solicit for pictures. And, you know, they would talk, whatever. He says he never met up with them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
He says he never engaged in anything physical, that it was just, to him, it was just another mode of getting more content or something. I don't really know. So that kind of, I think that part hurt more because, like, I tried to explain to him, like, do you understand how dangerous that is? Like, it's one thing having a porn addiction to me. Like, it is bad, and I know that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
But, like, I know he's not going to be with those people. But for him to text people that are actually local to us, that's a problem because it could go, it could venture into the, Hey, let's meet up. Hey, you know, like let's do this, you know, whatever. And I will say that the texts and stuff that I did find, everything was from before the first confession. Like there hasn't been anything since.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Does that make you feel better? It does make me feel better that I feel like, he's doing everything he can to show me that he's different. Like he, he says that he feels like he has killed this sin from himself. Like that he has, you know, he laid it down to die.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
I mean, I'm for sure sick of it. I thought that was one of the things I was just like, again, because like he knew my history. Yeah. And he knew, like he knew everything. Like we've been more open with each other than.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Yeah. And he was hiding that all along. And so we have been talking on a deeper level.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Well, it's been more than that over the years. That's what is in collections now because he could no longer keep up with the minimum payments.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Without me, you know, asking like, why are you paying so much on this card?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
I mean, probably not. Because you've also been through the aftermath before.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Well, that's something I've asked over and over and over again.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
So, what do I do moving forward? Because, like, I mean, it happens. I don't... I'm not just going to throw away the marriage. You know, like, he is... I don't know. To me, he seems genuinely... repentant for what he's done.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Shocked by My Husband’s Confession
Well, I don't want to be so naive as to say he's just cured.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
Hey, Dave. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited to talk to you guys.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
So my husband and I are looking into maybe starting a new business. We are totally debt-free with a paid-for house. We have one year of emergency funds saved up. Wow. Nice. Yeah, we've been following you and doing you for seven years since we got married, and so we just got debt-free not too long ago and paid our house off about a month ago. Oh, wow.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
Thank you. So I love food. I love making food. People... really seem to, like, respond well when I post things on Facebook, sharing things, and they have actually come to us wanting us to maybe start a food truck or, like, a cafe of some kind. We talked to our CPA, and he was leaning more towards a food truck. He said that, like, the overhead was less. They were less likely to...
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
like not go under because of all the overhead. But my concern with the food truck we have been looking into then is, of course, you know, it would still be considered a depreciating asset, correct? Like even if we paid cash and saved up for it, it's still depreciating versus like a brick and mortar. I guess if we're owning it. If we don't own it, we're still paying rent.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
So I just didn't know if you were winged one way or the other.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
I've always wanted to be more of a chef. Like the food and part of it is more like my dream and passion. My husband is, was in the food industry for a while and he actually was the business side of it. So as far as that, I think the brick and mortar having like a small cafe, I'm thinking something kind of small scale of like the Cracker Barrel.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
I'd love to have like a little store inside and be able to combine healthy, like whole food, plant-based foods with more like regular foods, like a blend of the two. So people that, my husband eats burgers and fries and steak.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
It does, yeah. Now that you've talked me through that, it does, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
Oh, my question for you is, should I sell my rental property to pay off my student loan debt?
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
How much student loan debt you got? A lot, $338,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
So excluding like the rental property, it's around $95,000 to $100,000. How long have you been in law school? Since 2019. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
The rental property is worth the same amount as my debt, $338,000. That's the current value.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
Okay. So you get $100,000, $150,000 out of it, right? Correct.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
So I currently have a storage unit with some stuff in it that I've been trying to sell all of that stuff out.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
Oh, for sure. Especially if I sold the property, I've been torn between selling it and moving into it. And so I just, what, where do you live in here? Um, currently I live with my parents, but, um, I was about to start renting.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
Yep. So I probably said I wanted to be a lawyer as a kid.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
Yes, and it definitely did not. And it didn't. It was the opposite.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Chase Money, Chase Freedom
I would say it's the specific niche. It's real estate law.
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
I had a question. I currently am on step one of your, I'm reading your book, and I wanted to know, I have two jobs together that total about $76,000, I would say, a year. Good for you. I have a 403B, a 401A, and a Roth IRA, all with my employers. My question is, should I stop contributing to them because I do have $169,000 in student loan debt,
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
I have about $300 in credit card debt, and then I owe my mom and my father together about $1,800. So I wanted to know if I need to take care of that first and then start back contributing after.
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
I have $1,400. And then I have saved, because I don't have a car, so I put $1,500 aside for a vehicle.
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
I haven't decided because I try to be smarter than I was. I let them take my vehicle because it was a mess. So now I'm going into it, but I don't want to go into it stupidly, so I'm trying to be smarter.
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
Other than the emergency fund of $1,400, that's it. Okay, so you have $1,400 and $1,500 for a car.
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
Yes, I do have four children, so I do kind of budget them into my... That's budgeting.
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
So I have an undergrad in community health and a master's in human resources, which I should never have done, but I know that now.
The Ramsey Show
Discipline Is the Key to Building Wealth
Yeah, I'm currently in HR. Both of my employers are in HR.
The Ramsey Show
Slow and Steady Wins the Race Every Time
Okay, my husband and I are trying to decide if we should go on an African safari hunt or to keep saving for a house.
The Ramsey Show
Slow and Steady Wins the Race Every Time
So here's a little situation and background. So we got married this past year and decided for our 10-year anniversary that we are going to go on an African safari and hunt all the jazz. And then a month ago, we entered a raffle and found out that we won a nine-day all-inclusive hunt in South Africa. And it's a $20,000 value. It includes like the hunt, lodging, food, everything.
The Ramsey Show
Slow and Steady Wins the Race Every Time
and, Lord willing, like two animals per person. But after we did our research, it does not include airfare, transportation, gun rental, but the kicker is the taxidermy and the shipping of the taxidermy. In total, all of that comes out to $12,000 to $15,000 out of pocket, which doesn't include like extra excursions or spending money. It's a lot of money.
The Ramsey Show
Slow and Steady Wins the Race Every Time
Um, we're in baby step three B. So in our first year of marriage, we are debt free with our fully funded emergency fund. We are targeting to purchase a house April of 2026. So in one year, and we're on track for 87,000 for a down payment. And we have a sinking fund for our vacation this year of $2,600. So we see three potential options. If you could help us with our first marital financial hurdle.
The Ramsey Show
Slow and Steady Wins the Race Every Time
jazzed honestly okay but like so we we don't know so we're thinking we could either take the trip and either pull from our house fund or i guess your perspective is we wait to purchase the home or he's like well you know we could take the trip but don't you know don't taxidermy or ship anything and just take really nice pictures and i'm like well i would like to have a zebra rug you know like that'd be pretty cool
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I was like abstinent that year and I was really focusing on myself. So I was like, this could be a next step to that. And it most certainly was.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
No. I am now. Have you gone back and watched any old seasons? So I did watch season six, obviously, because, you know, I knew by that point that I was, I had just filmed. And then before I went, I watched season four mainly to see what they wore because we had to make sure we didn't have like logos and things like that. So I was like, oh, let's see what they wore.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. So the reason it seems awkward in that scene when everyone's like, what is happening? She's in this beanie and she's like sitting here, you know, very serious. And I've been so giddy the entire time. Right. So the night before, ironically, me, Tyler, Nick D went out to like a bar down the street from the complex. We all were staying in for like the reality part of it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And we had, like, a few drinks. And then we came back. And then he was, like, sitting on the couch. And his tone was kind of weird. And I just was like, okay. Like, I drink red wine, too. So I'm, like, kind of sleepy. And he's like, I need to talk to you. And I'm like, okay, about what? And so I sit down. He's like, sit down. Oh, no, he said sit down.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I'm like, when someone says that, it immediately makes me anxious.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so I'm like. And this is worse when they text you it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Later, later. Just pause and don't say it, you know? So I sit down and I'm like, what? And so he's just like sitting there staring in the weirdest way. And I go, please tell me you don't have an STD. Nope.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
You know, because that would be, I'm sorry, not against anyone who does, but, like, that's something I should know, again, prior to getting married and being sexually active, right?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
There's no... Yeah, and so he's like, no. And I'm like, oh, okay. I'm like, what, you got some kids or something? Oh, no.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
No, he doesn't laugh. And my heart sank to the ground. I feel like I'm put back there right now as I'm telling you the story. And I'm like, what do you mean? And so he begins to deep dive into the conversation a little, not fully. I won't say deep dive. He begins to allude.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And just to kind of get a gist of like the conversations that, you know, people have in the pods and just like what the dynamic was with the women like in the lounge and things like that. Because I was like, oh, like, Worst come to worst, I'll just leave with a bunch of girlfriends, which I love. Total girl's girl.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
To the fact that he was a sperm donor for, you know, a lesbian couple who was married and, you know, he was afraid to tell me because he didn't want to lose me. And I was like, that's robbery. You robbed me of my choice because in the pods, like all factors are at play. You know, and I was so caught off guard. We talked from like 11 until 4 a.m. about the situation.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But I didn't really ask the questions I really wanted to in that moment because of shock. And because I was just trying to get around the fact of how we had all of these kids conversations and this is happening to me. And I also was kind of like, oh, no, you know.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He was like, well, yes. And I was like, how many? And he was like three. And he said I was a sperm donor for, you know, a lesbian couple. And at that conversation, we didn't deep dive into like to what capacity. Right. And so I, again, wasn't asking the right questions in that moment. I mainly was just trying to figure out how he like a mission is a lie. Let's let's be clear about that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And I remember just being hurt by all of it because I just didn't know because even if it was just a mere sperm donor situation. at the time, that's still something I should have known. Right. So from there, you know, he was saying he doesn't want to talk about it on camera or, you know, he doesn't want to hurt that family or like have people searching for them.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like these kids have to go to school, like whatever, whatever. So I'm like, there's no way I can continue in this experiment if we don't talk about this in some capacity, because I've been giddy the entire time. And my energy is this low right now. The viewers are going to see it. When you meet my friends, they're going to see it. They know me. We have to talk about it in some capacity.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So the next day I leave, I get my stuff, I move back home to my own apartment. They are like, you know, come back and just have the conversation to whatever way you guys feel comfortable on camera.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
like what do you know about they didn't say if they did or didn't they didn't they didn't say if they did or didn't um he more so was like this is what i told her and this is what's happening and she's like leaving me is what to to his knowledge and so we come back and we have a second conversation about it kind of like on camera and we hit the first one to where i'm shocked and everyone's like oh she's so calm she's so gracious i'm like yeah because the
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
um and now I have time to how angry were you I was pissed I was pissed I was pissed because everyone like honestly there's another guy which sounds so shallow of me but there's another guy in the pause I had a kid and I knew that wasn't what I wanted for my life so I didn't even consider him right granted I didn't have a connection with him but I didn't even if I did I don't know if I would have done it yeah and
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. And it's like, well, even if we don't mention it on camera, they're going to find it. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
There's no there are three of them. You can't hide like you cannot hide. They're going to find it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So ironically, that's funny because people are like, you know. He, he tried to warn her. He tried to warn her. You know, he, he alluded to that. That was my question. Actually. I asked him if I were to sit down with your ex right now or flings or people you dated, how would, what would they say about you? Because for, for two reasons, one, good question.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Dating in D.C. Stupid question. Literally.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I like to, yeah, I want to see if I can see remnants of that behavior and begin to look for it. Um, not that I'm searching for it, but just to begin to pay attention to, I want to see how you're going to answer because it's a red flag when men blame everything on a woman. Yeah. Well, she was crazy.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So for me, it was refreshing for him to say like, yeah, they probably would say I wasn't the best. And he's been vocal about that. Like I wasn't the best dating at all, you know? And so for me, that wasn't a red flag.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So like, you know, it was actually December 22nd. I remember the exact date. Four o'clock in the afternoon. And I just was like, I left like a date with this guy and I would just call my god sister. I remember like tearing up and being like, I just feel so... like not connected to anyone. And I feel like I'm wasting my time and my soul, my body, all of it. And I just, I'm not a casual girl.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
yeah that's a red flag yeah like 100% like I feel like in past relationships I've been top tier but on reflection I know there are things that I did that didn't help right and so if you can't even say that like if you can't even say like yeah it takes two to tango then that's a problem so whereas other people seen it as a red flag I seen it as a green flag in that moment and
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. And so then like fast forward, we have that minor conversation to where I'm like truly hurt and want to give the viewers a little glimpse of what I know to some capacity. And then they show us again when it's dark and we're having another conversation. And I ask him, do they know what you look like? And he says, oh, my God, I don't think so.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He pauses, looks to his left, and goes, tell, that's a tell. Immediately I knew. Immediately. I don't think so.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
What the hell does think mean? So immediately from there, when he says that, I knew. So that evening we had another conversation. And that's the conversation that I learned it all.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. And even my mom was just like, this is a very sticky situation, Ashley. So how you guys approach it needs to be, you know, right. Cause she's like, they will taunt these kids in this family if they want more, you know, more information.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And I'm like, yeah, but at the same time, if it does come out and I don't talk about it, they'll think I'm shocked, which they end up thinking, I don't know, like, Why they think I wouldn't know this. But regardless, I felt it had to be said in a way. So it was hard for me to navigate.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I'm just so used to being very transparent that it was hard for me to navigate that conversation, too, to try to make sure I didn't divulge anything. Like he said, you know, there are three of them as a lesbian couple, like, you know, whatever. Offline, you know, he shows me pictures. That was more questions for me.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And as I began to talk to him, his friends, his mom and his family is when I began to get a fuller picture of what was actually going on. And that's when I found out that, you know, the ex-wife had left and Tyler stepped in. The ex-wife's name is on the son's birth certificate. I've never seen the twins birth certificate. And when the ex-wife left, she was pregnant with the twins.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And Tyler grew up without a father. His father's like dying of bone cancer. He wasn't even invited to our wedding. And Tyler's like, when I gave my sperm, I gave it to a family, not for you to be a single mom. And that's when he jumped in. That's what.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And for me, I guess the reason that it was easier for me to understand what's talking to friends and him and, you know, going deeper is going deeper. is my godbrother's gay. He was in my wedding. He was a bridesmaid. And, you know, at one point when I didn't know how my life was going, you know, we laughed and joked about it. I could never do that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I could never donate my eggs to a close person because if it comes out looking like me or something, I couldn't be around. Whereas Tyler did. He was around for holidays. And for me, that's how my godbrother is. He's at every holiday, everything with me. So he was around, you know. He let them call it. They knew him as their bio dad. And it's very taboo and very odd to think about.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But I don't think there's any rule book to how adoption, sperm donating or egg donation should go. I do think that it was a mistake on his behalf to blur those lines so heavily because of the kids, not even just the woman, but the kids. And I know she wanted him to mainly be a part for the boy. Mm hmm. You very rarely see him with the girls here and there. It's mainly the boy.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And Tyler stepped up and he was like, sure, I'll be their dad. He's like picking up from daycare sometimes. They're friends. They lived in the same building. They lived in the same building on top of that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I tried to be, I wanted to see like what sex in the city was like, you know? And I was just like, I can't do, I just, it's cool if you want to do that. If that's your thing, I love that for you. But I just am not her. You're not a Samantha. I'm not. I love her though. She's my favorite. Um, but not Carrie really, but you know, Samantha's close second. Um,
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So 100%. And for me, like when I specifically seen the boy, it like kind of broke my heart a little bit because he looks a lot like him. And I just like loved him immediately through a picture because I love Tyler so much. So it was very awkward for me to navigate as well. But this is the reason why. It came a point where Tyler, so a lot of the pictures, they're younger, like whatever.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He was never, ever, ever around on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthly basis. There were times he wouldn't see them at all. Like he lived in Arlington. They've never been to his apartment, like things like that. He tried to back back and like back off at certain points. And I know that she wanted him present.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And he was trying to navigate like how to be there for him for them and also be her friend as well. And like they were in the army together. Like I said, like this is not just a stranger. And so I think it would be it's hard for people to digest, too, because in a normal sperm donor situation, I mean, you can pick and choose your involvement.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But most of the time you aren't that involved unless it is like a sister or like a friend or whatever. Right. So he came to a point where he, whenever she would be in a new relationship, you know, with the new woman, she wants to have a family with a woman. And he would always be on the outside looking in. He has no rights. He can't say where they go to school. He can't say anything.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He can't discipline. He can't do anything. So to him, he's like, I pop up and I'm an uncle and I play with them and I kiki. I wear these dad t-shirts that your grandma, the grandma, her mom is giving me, you know, and put on this, you know, face. But this is not my family. I'm on the outside looking in it. And originally I did this to help someone else.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And then I put myself in this very uncomfortable situation. And that's why I tell people I think he was a good guy that got too deep and didn't know what to do next. So when he finally decided to cut the situation off, of course, it's awkward and it hurts him as well to know about the kids. But he felt like it was better to do it now than to wait any longer. And he's like, I want my own family.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like, I want my own things. Whereas she's probably like, well, damn, like you were around. You know why do this now? They just have two different perspectives, I would say. And I think that. Even Tyler's friends and parents. And again, it's kind of a little difficult for me to talk about this because I wasn't there. I'm only going off of the things that I know and the things I'm trusting.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And if anything ever comes out differently, I'll do like a resettlement and give you guys a scoop.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
i'm just going tyler i'm just yeah yeah and so they basically said the same thing like you know yeah he was around he let him calm down but like they were young like whatever and he just didn't feel like that was his family and again it looks bad but it's if you realize it's always holidays it's always an event it's always something like he's around on the floor playing with them it's never like an intimate moment with these kids it is he was always supposed to be an uncle and even the ex-wife said it you know and then this is the
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Just because I live vicariously through her, I guess. And just like the boldness of her. So I tried to be that girl and it just wasn't fulfilling for me. So that year I was like, okay, I'm going to focus on myself. I'm going to focus on my career. I'm going to focus on my relationship with God. And I just want to kind of
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I will say she wrote me on Instagram and apologized to me and Tyler and said she's praying for us and she didn't never meant for it to go this way. And she won't say too much on this form. She made a public statement and then deleted everything.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And then posted a bunch of photos of him with the kids. Yep. That's that one. Yep. But she also wrote me and apologized and said that, like, it's completely understandable if I never want to respond. And, you know, she's sure my world is crazy right now. She never intentionally meant to cause me any pain. Like, she won't say too much in this message. But, yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so I'm like, well, you're kind of causing it, too, because you came out there and did that. But I did welcome the message. I told her, I'm surprised, but I welcome this. Because regardless if we never talk to you or the kids again, like, it's still a thing. And so I wouldn't mind having a sit down with you. Like, I want to know what the motive is here.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like, even his mom, like, when I talk to her, she's like, it is exactly what he's saying. And it used to be so uncomfortable for her, you know, because she posts all her grandkids. And so it's like, what do I do? She's seen them maybe twice. Wow. You know, they don't know her in the way that people are trying. She's reposting pictures and things like that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I think that, again, if you have met Tyler for five minutes, this is the thing that really gets me is the assassination of his character. And I'm not here to defend him. I just have to say this. If you meet him for five minutes, you will see how genuine he is. He's a people pleaser and I hate that about him.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He really is. And it's not a good trait to me because you will sacrifice yourself for other people. And that's why he's hurt and shocked by what the mom is doing. Right.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
No. So when so when he decided to cut ties, she was upset.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
100%. 100%. And he had a conversation with her. I don't know the exact time frame, let's say a year or two before when he started slowing down and, you know, coming around and basically said something along the lines of, you know, I just don't have a connection with these kids. And she's hurt because she's like, well, why? Why don't you? Because they're still kind of your kids.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
cancel all all ties to anyone so that meant not even going on out on dates because it just that could lead to anything you know and we'll look at it you never know so i was just like i'm gonna totally cut off everything and then what's meant to find me will easier not to buy the cookies at the grocery store it really is the cookies yeah and then like see them sitting there and like ah
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like, why don't you have a connection? He's like, you know, this is your family. And this is what I originally signed up for. I know I stepped in to try to help. I know I said I'd be there for the twins. You were by yourself. You know, it twins made it worse, you know. And so biologically, these are still his kids. So he feels a certain way. But he's like, I can't do this. And she's like, why?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
She was disappointed. And I can see, you know, why she was disappointed as well. But he's like, you know, I just don't want to have any connection with you or them. Because if I talk to you, although you've been my long term friend, there's no way I wouldn't be able to not talk to the kids. And I think it's best if I remove myself.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I think he was involved around like even the ex-wife kind of said like he was around, but kind of in like an uncle capacity. And I don't think that, you know, she wanted him around as much. Like even when she got divorced, she tried to fight for custody.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And that's when Tyler went for the sperm donor mom's like side and basically was like against her to make sure that that woman could keep all of her kids and that the ex-wife couldn't take the kids. I think. She wanted him in a bigger capacity once she left. I'll say that. It's not that he wasn't around before that. He was.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But she wanted him around in a bigger capacity because now she's by herself, which sucks. And now she's engaged with a whole other woman. So it's time. So there's that. They scrubbed that Instagram too. So they're not the only ones scrubbing.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So, a topic that's aired on the show?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So, ironically, we knew it would be mentioned, but I... Always knew this would be a big thing once it aired, even if he was just a regular sperm donor. Like I knew and it wasn't like blurred lines. I knew it would be a big thing because humanity has trouble comprehending and understanding anything taboo or out of their norm. So I was the one saying she's coming.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I guarantee you when he was like, she would never do that. She would never do that. So there was no conversation with her or anything like he because I was like, maybe reach out. I know that y'all are in the best terms and maybe reach out and just say, hey, this is coming out. So like we couldn't even do that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
She came up with the whole TikTok of all the pictures of Tyler. And I, again, am repeating what I know. The grandma is like. You'll never see pictures of I'll say it this way. You'll never see pictures of her daughter with her wife or with her LGBTQIA partner ever. So that's where the dad T-shirts and dad's dad's son come at play. And this is what I've seen my firsthand.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Maybe. Yeah. Nick struggles with that. Yeah. The cookies part.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And this is what I've heard from people who know both parties. Right. Because they were an army. So they have mutual army friends. She never liked that about.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
so now there are videos like that's your dad you know who that is you know who you're playing with that's your dad right so grandma's projecting and that's and I genuinely feel like and if Bri ever sees this like I think that that's why the sperm donor mom reached out to me and apologized because I think she's in an uncomfortable situation of feeling like people are adding pressure on her to be this person that I don't think she is right
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
If Tyler's a bad guy, why would you want to do it again? You know, why? That'd be a mistake. It's like you sleep with the guy once and it's a mistake. I mean, maybe sometimes you go back. But a kid is a whole different thing. You try not to make that same mistake.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
the sperm donor mom sperm donor mom yeah what's sperm donor mom I don't know it was just that one thing and then she reached out and she apologized and Tyler was honestly that was the hardest part is just seeing Tyler struggle during a time that should have been just about our love story so I think once she apologized she kind of felt bad and like she seemed that you know and I said like yes getting beat up on social media is never fun is what I told her
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
so they've both apologized the grandma and no no just just her she apologized to me only not even tyler grandma's not apologizing no grandma's not gonna apologize is grandma still posting no no she apparently made her page private and because tyler had a really really bad day and it was a really really hard time and i know that tyler reached out to brian that second from the dog's page because there she's he's blocked wait who's this again
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Our dog's page. So our dog Kobe has a Instagram page. Tyler reached out to the sperm donor mom on the dog page and basically was like, look, like, what are you doing? Like, stop, like, stop, stop this. And I guess she was concerned with like him being attacked, you know, and then she made her she deleted everything, which was appreciative. But at the same time, everyone already has it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
It's already social media. Like it's five seconds.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
entire thing about yourself and you're not gonna have to deal with any of the repercussions of it nope none and it's cloudy the thing about Tyler too that he kept saying that I kind of was like okay actually show a little sympathy even though I was pissed is like he's like I've done enough like I've already like eventually the kids will probably forget me but like
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I don't want to do anything else to this family. So like, I don't want to really talk about this, Ashley, but I will because I want you. But like, and I don't want you to quit this experiment. But at the same time, I don't want to go in too deep.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I like double stuff, but it turns out any Oreo is pretty good. I freeze them.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So that's why I also kind of am sitting there and contemplating and thinking as I'm talking in those scenes that you see, because I don't know what I'm allowed to say. And the very thing that we tried to avoid happened. The kid's birth certificate is online.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So the very people who are creating TikToks with their false journalism, TikTok, I just got a TikTok for the first time and I wish I never had it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
It's law now because someone sent you a screenshot with a contact named Tyler. I can do that right now. I can do it. I can say, tell my God.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Text me. Text me some stuff right now so I can make it look like, you know, and put their contact name in it. Show me the number, blur it out, right? So that's that. And people take the TikTok journalism and run with it. Now people are writing me like, girl, have you seen? Who do you think has a better view on what the hell is going on? You or me? This is a year later.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And frankly, no matter what he came with, when I said I do, I said I do to all of it. That's what marriage is. And we're in a generation where... Unconditional love is not a thing. And there are conditions with people. And to me, they haven't found their person and it shows.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Even when they loved us, remember that moment? When they loved us. Like, we still have like 50% that love us, but like, you know, when they loved us and they were like, oh, Ashley and Tyler for like OG 90s love in early 2000s, I'm kicking my feet on the wall. Like, All of that. They stare like something's wrong with them. We're going to find it. Well, you know, it's too good to be true.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And also that was me. Tyler is the kind of person, I also want to say that, I am the one, not that Tyler doesn't have his own faith, but I am the one. You led that. I led it. And we talked about it in the pause. It wasn't shown, but like about how important my faith is with me. He was like, he doesn't know how to pray sometimes. And I was like, there's no right way to pray. You just have to start.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so that's why it looks like we're doing it so much because I was trying to get him to feel comfortable around me to be intimate in that way.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
My heart is great. My heart is doing very well.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, one of his friends, Oliver, after the wedding came up to me and said something along the lines of, I really also, I wanted to say thank you. This was a beautiful wedding, beautiful reception. He was like, I just wanted to say also thank you for helping lead Tyler, you know, back to God. And like, you know, that was always important to me as a friend. He was in the army as well.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Well, yeah, apparently, you know, it did work for me, but it was hard. You know, it's boring as hell.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And he was like, me and Tyler would have conversations about that. But he, you know, I don't know if he was comfortable enough speaking the way he does now. And so I was like, oh, that was a compliment to me. And I love that he said that. So, yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I learned so much along that journey while I was abstinent. Also was like reading self-help books like this book called Welcome Home by Najwa Zebian. And I just learned that when you're centered within yourself, when people come and when people go, you still remain. And so you don't have to feel lonely because you have you and no one has you better than you.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So my father was married to my mom from age one, baby until 10. They got divorced when I was 10. And my father, as he's gone viral for his suave-ness. Yes, he has. It's all, hey, daddy, usher song is going viral with it and it makes me want to throw up. Yes, yes, yes. I can see it. He's a charming guy. Yeah, definitely charming. He was a womanizer. Yeah, so...
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so for me, it was the greatest thing I could have done because I've always been confident, but... I am a people person and I really began to love just my alone time and not consider it as lonely, but consider it as me time and just feeling whole as me.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Ironically, in 2021, I found out I had two brothers that I didn't know about that he had during the time period that he was married to my mom. And we already knew about one of them, but we didn't know about these two. Ironically, one of them went to high school with me. The same one that went to high school with me lived in my neighborhood. And his brother was one of my really good friends.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So he wrote me on Instagram in 2021 and was telling me and I was like, this guy's trying to talk to me from high school. And then I open it and it's a voice note of like, I did my ancestry and your dad's my dad. And I'm like, I'm so sorry that to hear that I have enough loved ones in my life. I don't need any more. Like, you know, and I felt bad, but I just didn't. I'm 30. Like, I don't need this.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So then he wrote me again. And then his brother called me who I knew from high school. And he was like, you might as well give him a chance because he's never going to stop. And boy, am I glad that I did because I met them and we hit it off immediately.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And I told them one day, like I think like the second time we hung out, I was like, fuck, I wish you guys weren't cool because I really didn't want to do this. But we ended up, we're super close now. Ironically, I've only known them for since 2021. Wow. So my dad, where everyone's like, oh, your dad, I can't wait till her dad gets on Tyler. My dad don't have no room to talk about anything.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So my dad and I's relationship was strained for years and years and years. And it took probably the last five years for us to get close. And I'll tell you why. I've learned along my growth journey that you just have to meet people where they're at. Some people would die that way. My grandpa died that way.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
When you meet people where they're at and you accept people for who they are, you have a better relationship with them because you're not trying to change them into the image that you want them to be. And I used to always want the dad on the TV. Like I used to want that so bad. And then I realized that's just not my story.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so my dad is the guy who owns yachts and restaurants and we drink for free and I bring my friends and we party. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
My mom's great. My mom's my confidant. My mom's my best friend. My mom is my reason. You know, she is, wow, I get emotional about my mom, but she is everything to me. And whenever I say, like, I have a role model, it's my mom. So, yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Uh, she was just really, really strong. My brother, she had my brother at 18 and, um, his dad wanted nothing to do with him. So she raised me and my brother, but like, she raised me to be very bougie. And I'm like, how did you do that? Like, I can barely like, you know, like take care of myself, but you were, you had me in everything. You, you never missed a beat.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like, you know, you, you, anything I ever wanted, I had, and I don't know how she did it. She always says the Lord, but I don't know how she did it. And she is like super woman to me. I, I, My brother has like five degrees. He has a doctorate. Like we beat the stereotype, right, of being raised by a single mom.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so that's why I sympathize with Tyler and why he handled that the way as well, because I know what that's like. And my mom never let us really see her cry. Like, you know, she always says like I was her motivation. I was really wise at a young age to call me an old young lady.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And my mom, that's why I wanted to make sure at my wedding that she was honored and she was the one to give me away to Tyler because she did the heavy lifting. While my dad and I have a great relationship now and we have fun, she's my person and she is the one who did it all. That was a great moment when you walked down the aisle and your mom was definitely like, I got it from here.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Thank you so much. Yeah. It was pretty iconic. And I felt bad when I was kind of like, my dad's lucky to be here. It's a bitchy moment, but it also is kind of like for real though.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I was. I was. Sorry, dad. I was. I was so confused on what was... I'm about to walk out here.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
The cameras got to him. And then I think he was just overwhelmed by seeing me too. And you know what I really think? I don't think he ever thought he would be there. And so he was overwhelmed by seeing me in that moment and seeing that I was an adult and he probably still views me as a kid.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Some people shouldn't be parents. That's just what it is. Some people just aren't. They don't have that gene.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, I think they're like seven and five or something.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. So even during filming, I think I say something along the lines of like, I had to figure out what, when I chose to say, I'll give this another try, you know, with Tyler, I had to also think about what happens if they do come. Right now they're removed because you removed yourself.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Is this a bad day or what? My favorite night out is a night in now.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But what happens if they do turn 18 and there's no rules to this and they say, I am going to contact you, you know, or even 16, 15, whatever. They have social media, they have iPad. These kids working better than us. So I'm like, what does that look like? I could not in good faith say yes to a marriage unless I was OK with that coming. And I asked him what that's like for him.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And he's like, he's willing to have that tough conversation with them on why, you know, you were supposed to have two moms. That is always what the plan was. And things got blurry and things got too deep. And I'm sorry if you were ever hurt in that process when you were young, he says. And I was like, do you think you're really going to be able to say that to him?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He's very confident in that way because he just doesn't see what he did as a negative thing. He does see the misfortune and how it went about in the end. He's like that lady loves, loves some kids. Like, you know, they're taking care of it. Like he doesn't feel like they're in an uncomfortable or, you know, bad home or anything. So for me, I would welcome it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like that means I will only have to have one, you know, I don't have to like go through that. But like that happened before me. He didn't have kids on me. This is all before me. So I have to kind of take his lead on where he wants to go with that. And I don't want to ever put him in an uncomfortable situation because of things that I want.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So, or not saying I want that, but I'm just saying, or things I'm okay with or have looked into.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
My mom always says, once you get the kid in your hands, it's all worth it.
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E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So you know he had to go skydiving after all this. So I was like, this is not even a choice.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
100%. And at this point, we should have just filmed it, unfortunately.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. And I, I think that again, we did try to do it to, to protect the kids. And I, and I, I don't really feel bad for making us talk about it because, again, I think it would have been worse. But for some reason, viewers think that when we go into this experiment that, like, well, you put your lives up here, we get to judge everything.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Well, yeah, to a capacity, like to an extent, yes, because we also still have personalized families that didn't sign up for this stuff. So there are things about my mom or about other things that I or my dad or grandma that I wouldn't share on camera, even about myself. There are things that... Production always tells us, like, share what you're comfortable sharing. Right.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so I think that they're very the viewers are very, very entitled. But I get it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. And so like it's like, OK, guys, like, yeah, maybe we should have talked about it. But aren't you glad you got a glimpse? No, you want more. So, yes, we I definitely we had so many, so many conversations on camera. And also it's a sentence I say that wasn't shown where I say something along the lines of during our like my beanie moment where I'm like, look, you know, yeah, that was a mood.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. I'm like, look, I'm not saying that I'm going to go through with this all the way. I'm saying that along my way of trying, we don't have that long for these days. Our days feel like weeks at a time in this scenario. I'm like, all I know is I don't want to argue every day. I don't want to be malicious every day. And that's a big testament to my growth because I was...
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I can hold a grudge, you know, but I didn't want to do that. I wanted to make sure that the little bit of time we had, I needed to use all of it. So we were doing this like one hour a day thing where we would talk about it one hour a day. And after that hour, that's it. Like we'll table it. Let's go do this date. You know, let's go hang with friends. Let's
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I am. All right. Oh, she is. Yeah. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Because I didn't want to live in that moment. Our love story was so much more than that blip. And not saying that the children are a blip because they'll attack me for that. But like I'm saying then that blip of dishonesty and that blip of omission. And I'm a big person of trust. And so it was it that was hard for me because omission is a lie.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And I wanted to make sure that this was just a mistake and not a character flaw.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
That's a great question. I think just continuing the conversation, I will say that the pods or just the whole experiment taught us a lot. I've never had this creative communication with any guy in my entire existence. I think that in the pods, they encourage you to have the tough conversations because you have such a short time to get to learn someone.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So you know their traumas before you know their likes and their fun things. So every day, that's what we were doing is literally just continuing the conversation. And I also told him, I was like, there are gonna be days I'm not in the best of moods either. How are you gonna navigate that? Maybe I just like, I'm having a day where I'm trying to figure out like, what is this gonna be like?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like, what, like, What is it going to be like when it airs? I considered that. He didn't really, I don't think he was very naive to what this was going to be when it aired. As far as the trust and like how to rebuild, there's no rule book for that either or a blueprint. I wish there was. I just had to like deep dive or take a leap of faith and just say like, okay, this, I see this man. Hmm.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And I know him and the people who ever meet him, it could be at Target and the way he treats people. There's no way this is the guy you guys are mischaracterizing online. People are good, but they ain't that good. And damn sure not for a year. Nope.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, this is a conversation I have with him a lot. Like even in work or wherever, like there are boundaries. There are boundaries. You can be a good person. I hate when he's like, oh, he's like, I'm just friendly. No, like you can be a good person and still have boundaries. You can say no to your friends. Like. when they need something some days.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
There are also times where you're not mentally available or emotionally available. You still pour into people and now you're drained at the end of the day. And I'm taking care of you, you know, like, no, tell people I'll check in with you the next day. So I'm teaching him how to be mean, not mean, but set boundaries and to stick to them and to be OK with that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And notice that setting boundaries does not mean you're not a good person or that you're not there for someone. It just means that you have to prioritize yourself.
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E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
used to say when I was younger is like a wise young lady. I don't know. I think that my intuition and like my discernment is good. And I think that I'm someone who always strives to not be a good person. That's so cliche, but like I'm someone I have good intentions. And I want people to treat me how I treat them. And I have a big heart and I'm very loyal and I've been burned by that a lot.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But it never stops me from being that way. And I also just try to understand people, even for my friends. And then also hear what my friends say about me. Like I've had friends say like, oh, you're too blunt. I'm like, well, that's just who I am. But no, that's you need to treat that friend in a different way. You know, whereas another friend, you can be blunt, you know.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I'm not emotionally available. I can't.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So like for me, I've never been a reality TV kind of girl. I've always been more of like a series kind of person. So I was a skeptic from day one, which I think they welcomed because you don't have to believe in it fully. You just have to be open to it. So I
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Good. I'm Sierra and I'm 38 and my boyfriend tells me I talk too much.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
That it's because it's something that it's usually has to involve feelings or something I'm trying to share about how I feel about a situation or something I'm passionate about. And then I end up going more and more into the information and maybe run on in my words.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He listens, but I know he's like, for lack of better words, ADD. And after the first couple of sentences, he stopped listening, especially if I say how I feel. And he's like, OK, she feels that way. And like his brain has moved on to the next.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
How long have you been dating this guy? 14 months. OK. And it is a really I mean, I know there's always room for improvement for everybody, but it is a really healthy relationship, I will say. And it's good. It's just I know that there's things that I have to work on. I've been working on myself for 20. I've been in and out of therapy for 20 years.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So I've always worked on myself and I know that I always have more to work on. But I also don't know if he like past stuff like he doesn't want like something about feelings, conversations triggers him. I don't know.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He loves me in a way that I've always wanted to be loved and didn't think that it existed. He accepts the love I have to give and the way that I give love. He accepts that and takes my love and we do have good communication just Sometimes when I get on the topics he's not comfortable with or my feelings, it's a little rocky.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I was open to the idea of it, but I didn't know if that person really came out and wasn't someone I was attracted to, how that would really make me feel. I've always been a soul searcher. I've always been someone that tried to look at people's heart because I feel like even with me, people in dating, they always view me for my outer appearance. I'm like, do you know who I am?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, I mean, he makes me on a daily basis. I mean, we do life together. We, I don't know how to go into detail, but really, you know, just your everyday life. Like we don't have regular issues on a daily. Well, I will say we have a 19 year age gap. So that's something I also wanted to talk to you and Natalie about because I know you guys have an age gap. Is he older? Yeah, he's 57 and I'm 38.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Okay. So he was married for 30 years. And so, and I've never been married. So obviously it comes from two different backgrounds. So I don't know. I feel like maybe past issues, like he just, when that conversation's going to come up, it triggers him to want to because of the marriage. She, I don't know how detailed I'm supposed to go, but she was an alcoholic.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so she couldn't have conversations with him without having the liquid courage.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
He is in a lot of ways he is and it is funny you said that it is like harder with some generations like they are the way they are and I'm trying to integrate into like because I'm really big into I've been in art therapy I read read your book on top of tons of other books that have to do with emotion reaction you know how the mind and emotions work how we are affected by those around us how we take things how we react to things really big on psychology stuff so mental health is huge to me and I've
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I'm way different than I was 10 years ago, 15 years ago.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Sarah, sorry to cut you off. Did you did you say that his ex wife was an alcoholic? So just listening to you, it could be just maybe something to explore. It could be that now he correlates women expressing themselves differently. and their feelings to the trauma of his ex being an alcoholic and that being the only time that she would feel comfortable to express herself.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So it's a little bit of trauma there. And I used to date an alcoholic, so I can definitely be a testimony to that. You don't want to talk to them when they're in that state. Right. And so now with you being a new woman, he's taking his past experiences and unfortunately putting it into his new relationship.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And maybe that's something that you guys could explore when he's emotionally and mentally available to do so.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yes, he is in therapy. So what brought him to therapy? So between the wife and ex-wife and me was a relationship and about six years. And she passed in a very unfortunate accident. And then really shortly after, he's messaging me and I was very open. And I was like, you are in a very, very traumatic time. And it's very soon. And we talked about everything. And I voiced all my concerns.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I'm so much more than that. You don't even know. You're missing out so bad on just like the other qualities that I have. So I really wanted to find that in a guy because dating, I've always gone for looks and those relationships clearly haven't worked. So although I was a skeptic, I was open to it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And that hasn't posed any issues. He's followed through with all of his words, everything he's ever said to me, he's shown me. Like he didn't, just like I said, I don't want to be a band-aid basically to this trauma that he experienced. And I have not felt like one.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Are we wearing a ring? No, because I was walking around town. Someone will take a picture.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. So that was what took him to therapy was that trauma of losing his mate. And so that's why he's in it. But of course he talks about his parents and his children and, you know,
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
other things but he is in it um i do want to try a couple of therapy because he does have a little bit of a block just when it comes to like things topics on my feelings and it's not that he's against my feelings or doesn't care but it does something is triggered and he does shut down a little bit and he just doesn't like he only wants to hear it once yeah sometimes i get a little bit like uh like in my past i've not expressed myself i've just shut shut up and do what you're told and
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And I just knew that in order for me to really fall for someone that came through those doors and they weren't my type, that connection would have to translate into the in-person. It would have to be something about their aura, their energy that would really make me still feel that love that I felt across the wall. And the connection was so heavy.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. But I think it's something that we should really look into because I think it really helps combat.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, I think that my insecurities being younger, being like, oh, like, you know, I don't know how to put it, but. you know, I'm just younger. And I was like, you're just like, no, I don't know. I've been around longer, you know, not that he says that, but like, well, that's my point.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
We do that pretty good. It's just the feeling part.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Wow. So now that the show is out and, you know, we're just kind of able to finally soon. Well, not yet, but soon able to post each other and what we just want to like be public. We just want to be public. We want to travel and post our travel. I've been on so many sneaky links this year with my husband, but no one knows. So, yeah, we're just ready to kind of like continue building.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So I reached a point when Tyler and I were dating behind the wall that I was just like, I don't care what he looks like. I swear I don't. Like, it's like I could break this wall down right now and just like, you know. So when we finally seen each other, I was like, whew, OK, this is great. You know, like, oh, yeah, like, you know, I'm like, hmm. you know, looks don't hurt, you know.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So it's a dual thing. It's a dual effect. Like the plus side is like we're in this little bubble. No one knows about us. No one can harm us. Right. But then there's the damn like I do want to show you off and I do want to like be happy to be married and something I've always wanted and only very few people know. Yeah. And so, yeah, I'm ready for just the simple things.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Like, I want to just post out to eat. I just want to, you know, just travel and enjoy being newlywed. Yeah. So originally he was saying like in a year, which we quickly found out was not a thing. Like, no way.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
It went so fast. I'd say in two years, we'll try, you know, we'll start to begin the process. I do want a kid before 35 and 32. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
um i want to care before 35 i'm still working on my patience also to make sure that i am you seem very patient so wow thank you i've been really working on it i've been reading a lot it's working whatever you're doing is working yeah because usually like when i'm with my friends all my friends have kids now all but most of them have kids and i'm i have a godson who's born on my birthday he's 14 now so he he doesn't want anything to do with me right now but it's fine
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But when I'm around my friend's kids, it's just like, okay, this was fun. And then my best friend Casey, she's used to all the loudness. They always know when I come over, like Auntie Ash or whatever, I'm like, okay, all that ruckus in there. She ignores it. She blocks it out. She doesn't even hear it. I do. I get annoyed. I'm like, okay, this was fun, girl. Thanks for the wine.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Stephen was you don't even show they don't even show how many times I've talked to Stephen while filming and just like trying to encourage him and because you know he was having doubts at one point also just like Stephen was this great guy that everyone knew Monica and Stephen were getting married and so to find out we get back to Arlington and he does this thing I unfollowed him I was he was despicable to me and
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And the only reason I followed him again is because Monica gave him grace. And she was like, don't hold a grudge against him. I was like, you calling dogs off?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I don't even know if he was there. I don't know. He keeps saying he was. I don't know if he was at the sleep test. All I do know is when it comes to this experience, similar to my own, any sort of betrayal and trust is huge. Mm-hmm.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And it's even worse when it's with another woman in that way, because it's like, dang, like, you know, and it almost makes women afraid to share that they've been hurt before in that way. Because it's almost like men are like, oh, you're used to this. I'll do it to you. You'll stay, you know? And then he was very emotionless when he left. He's like, well, sorry, I wasted your time.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Let's be real, you know, it doesn't. But I don't think that it would have been a determining factor if he wasn't my, you know, ideal type. You know, if it was too far off, it would have been different. It would have been a struggle. I think my mom and my friends would have been like, Yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I'll never live this down. He's apologized to me so many times.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
It started in Congo with that conversation with women are going to give me oral sex when they find out about me. They're going to be offering it.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I was like, oh, okay, this is not the Steven that I knew that was talking about Ryan Gosling in movies with me in the pond.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, no. But they're not also. No, I was trying to get you. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I do know that there was no extra fight that everyone thinks there was. I mean, there was a fight off of camera. And also people think that we have cameras in our rooms when we go to sleep. They should. You guys need to put cameras in the apartments.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I asked her that. And she was like, I didn't want to even film there. I'm like, girl, you tripping because I cleaned my place before I left. Oh, yeah. And then had my mom come dust. Because, you know, when the sun comes in through the blinds, you get dust everywhere.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
She was... I think we all were in a hectic panic because we found out very soon that we're casted before we leave. They keep you in suspense. And so I think that maybe she... Alex, love you, girl. You know I do. But she's late to everything. It is a character flaw. And I told her, do better in 2025. And if you don't do it in 2025, do better in 2026. I told her that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
I think it's the family bond. It's 100 percent the family bond. They both really, really, really, really love their families. And they both have had different experiences with resilience for their parents. And I think that's where they bond it. And I think when we got to the real world, there was a disconnect.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
It was 68 degrees. Yeah. Yeah. Taylor's was 50. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
But again, attraction, like you ever see like a guy that's like not that cute and everyone wonders why you think he's cute because of something?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And so the conversations that I had like before I went or just even while I was in there is just show up as who you are and what's meant to find you will. And yeah.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, I did. I've had, and by connections, I'll say I've had great conversations when I was in there. I would say, okay, Tim. Tim was my second. Oh, Tim, okay. That would have never worked.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Very serious. And in there, he wasn't though. In the pods, he wasn't. He was more kind of like,
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
fun and we're like all having fun behind the wall drinking and playing games it was cool and then i just think for me being such a progressive kind of woman and like i want to work and i want to do these things i think he has a very southern mentality about certain things and so i began to shy away from that but i thought he was a cool person for sure but they're just conversations and not connections yeah
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah, that makes sense. I think another part of it is when we're in there, we don't have any outside influence. So we have no phones, no mom, no best friend. And so you're able to be, yeah, maybe a different version of yourself. It almost seems like you have...
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. And I mean, I hope I hope if that's what he got out of that, you know, experiment, then that's good for him. I think there are a lot of people like that, that went there not only just to find themselves, but just to, I guess, see just to see if this was something they were able to do.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And I think that once real life hit and we're all like in each other's presence again, you see the physical, you see people become their past selves before they enter the pods. And that can cause a disconnect from the person that you met, you know, in there because it's like, wait, now we're shifting.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And that goes for both parties, whoever, you know, I think the ones that work are the ones who stay consistent.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So I dated an athlete. Sorry, don't want to judge all of you.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
My friend from high school who I don't even talk to that often sent it to me on Instagram was like, oh, you'd be perfect for this. And I was like, I don't know. So I called my godbrother and I was like, do you know about this show? Because I wanted to make sure it wasn't something like a little ratchet or, you know, something like that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Nicky D. Yeah, like a real athlete. Nick D. So I knew him since I was 13. We dated since I was 19, almost a decade. And then from there, I thought that was leading to the altar. And, you know, there was some infidelity there, of course, boo.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Yeah. So after that, though, it took... That one time for me to realize, too, that like I not only deserve better than this. I started to see other things, too, that like, oh, this isn't my person. Damn. Like, did I waste all of this time? You know, so I think I got comfortable and didn't want to move on for a while. And then I was like, no, this isn't a choice.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
You know, like this is what you you have to do this. So from there, I just casually dated for four years like I never found. I'm very, very, very picky. Mm hmm. I don't even choose dinner easily. I know that about myself. I am an overthinker as well, which people deem as a bad thing, but it can be a great thing. And so, yeah, my dating.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Besides that, when I was in long term relationships like, you know, with him and then whenever we break up again, it'd be flings, but nothing more. So this is my next really big one since that.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
Uh, it was an overwhelming feeling, honestly, because it's funny. I know a lot of the times in there I say, mm-hmm, because it's like, that's what I usually, you know, I heard it all before kind of thing. Like, will you really be this person?
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And it was refreshing also to hear because I believed him when he said it, it was, it didn't seem like BS and it was something I always wanted someone to make me feel and I didn't
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
feel like an option with him I felt like the only option like the only choice like you know and that was a gratifying feeling especially because I am like one of the most loyal people you're ever you'll ever find in your life like for my friendships I've had friendships for 25 years so I liked that the person I ended up falling for wasn't the same that I have dated in that aspect and crying and stuff like I was like what like and the thing is I cry so much in like the pods but
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
So he was like, oh no, this would be the perfect one for you to do because like it's solely based on like love and like friendships and things like that. So I was like, okay. So I literally got out of bed and recorded my like intro video in front of my closet door, like no makeup, no anything. Very bold of me. And yeah, so I just kind of like dove in.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
My friends are like texting me like, that's the most I've seen you cry since I've ever seen, like since I've known you. And I'm not a big crier. I cry for like movies or like someone else's life, you know, but not about my own. I'm more like a let's focus kind of person. So he brought that side out of me.
The Viall Files
E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley
And it was a very vulnerable state for me to be in and very scary at the same time, especially when you've been hurt before. So it's a risk.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ich habe nicht zwei Gedanken zu meinem letzten Bombensturm gegeben. Ich war fertig und bereit.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ähm. Grant's performance on social media for the last several weeks.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ich habe nur gesagt, dass du Entertainment sagst. Ich meine, du sprichst von dem Show, das ihr zusammen gemacht habt. Ja, das war immer so. Sie hat dir einen Traum erzielt. Ja.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
He left my apartment to go take a business meeting, which was not a business meeting, and then came home to me. The two of you clearly worked through that, though.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
We were very on and off, like I said. And the last time we broke up before the show, we go back and forth on who's begging for who and what the position is. Last time we broke up before the show, he was chasing me down, trying to prove like I can trust him X, Y, Z. And I'm very much like a signs from the universe person. So I was like manifesting like, should I be with this man?
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Like, what do I do? And one of my close friends was casting for the show. And I kept seeing him post it and he posted his like last call and I was like, fuck it, just like submit us. And then I got a call from California and I was sitting there with him and I was like, he was like, don't answer it, like we're not doing it. Und dann hat sie angerufen und hat ein Wortmeldung gelesen.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Und ich habe immer gesagt, ich weiß nicht, wie ich mich über meine eigenen Kinder fühle, aber ich war so, als hätte ich ein Kind. Naomi war auf der Liste. Und das Wortmeldung kam von einer Frau namens Naomi. Und ich war so, wir rufen zurück.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ich wollte vollständig Klarheit. Ich hatte keine Ahnung, was ich wollte. Ich wollte, dass er gut ist für mich und ich wollte, dass er sich prüft. Aber die Realität der Situation war, dass ich wirklich nicht denke. Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020 Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Untertitelung. BR 2018 Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020 Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
I mean, you pursued me for months and I wasn't letting you back in. I wasn't allowing it. Finally, I came back. You had flown out to my family. You've met up with all my friends while I was gone for a month and basically explained your side of the story, how much you regretted it, how much... You loved me and wanted to marry me. You went and bought a ring. XYZ.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
So I basically came home and you had already gotten everyone on your side. You had done what you could to try to get me to forgive you. And so you kind of broke me down in a way where I was like, shit, like, Ich muss diesem Mann eine Chance geben, er kämpft so hart für mich. Ich weiß nicht, ich fühlte nur, als wäre ich nicht bereit, darauf aufzugehen.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Und dann sind wir wieder voll zusammengekommen, für diese paar Monate während der Weihnachtszeit. Ich fühlte, als würde er einen Eindruck zeigen und er machte eine 180. Und ich habe gesagt, ich habe das in einem Artikel veröffentlicht, das war nicht, wir konnten nicht wirklich darüber sprechen am Anfang. But then I just snapped. I couldn't do it.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
I knew I was never going to let go and I knew I wasn't treating him fairly and it wasn't making me feel good about myself. Did I beat his spirit to a pulp? I don't know, but... I was not in a good place and so that's why we broke up.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Was genau denkst du, was ich tue? Du tust so aus, als ob ich dich hier sitze und dich bescheide. Ich mache lustige TikToks, die die Hälfte nicht mit dir zu tun haben.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Und du hattest die Audazität, ein ganzes, ich weiß nicht, was für ein 10-Minuten-Video zu veröffentlichen, über das, wie viel du Natalie liebst und wie perfekt sie war, nachdem du die letzten sechs Monate versucht hast, mich zu verabschieden, dich zu verheiraten.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ja, es war alles nur für Spaß. Ich habe nie... Ich fühle mich so, als ob du... Und ich will es nicht mal so sagen. Du solltest glücklich sein, wie sehr ich deine Tochter liebe und Respekt und Empathie für die Mutter deiner Tochter habe, dass ich die Dinge nicht loslasse, die du mir gemacht und gesagt hast. Ich will es nicht schmutzig machen. Ich will nichts für dich schlechter machen.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
What I've been posting is like funny, just like joking, very lighthearted. It was never meant to attack you. And then it became a point where you decided to try and blackmail me into making a statement that you're a good father or you were going to release texts. And then you did. So I don't know how...
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
I would have loved to have gotten to a point where we broke up and I could sit here and justify why I would have taken you back to begin with. And been like, he's changed, he's a good man. And we just couldn't make it work, like whatever. But then you started doing all this shit on social media and spiraling and saying dumb stuff. Was für dumme Sachen sagst du, die ich dir gesagt habe?
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Du hast mich live auf TikTok geschreit. Du hast live gesprochen, wie ich so schrecklich bin. Und die ganze Sache mit Natalie. Was willst du, wenn du seit Monaten hier sitzt, um mich zu überzeugen, dass du dich so schlecht verletzt hast. Natalie bedeutet nichts. Du bist mit mir verliebt. Du willst mich heiraten.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
und dann umdrehen und sagen, wie viel du sie liebst und wie perfekt sie ist und dass sie der größte Regret von der Show ist.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Das ist lustig, aber das ist eine Lüge. Wir sind zerbrochen. Du schläfst voll mit anderen Leuten. Also was ist das für eine Rolle?
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Und auf meinem Live mit Natalie habe ich literal gesagt, er hat alles getan, was er konnte. Ich konnte nicht weitergehen. Period. Du tust so aus, als ob ich hier sitze und dich attackiere. Und nicht einmal habe ich hier gesessen und dich attackiert.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
So you saw me bawling my eyes out to Alexa and you saw I was checked out.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Nein, ich sage nicht, dass Grant überhaupt richtig ist.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ja, ich würde sagen, das ist ziemlich akkurat. Ich denke, es war wirklich erstaunlich, als ich den Show gesehen habe, weil ich offensichtlich nicht sah, was er an seinem ersten Bonfire sah. Also bin ich von ihm und den anderen Jungs erzählt, dass sie die Erinnerung an den ersten Bonfire haben.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Also sitze ich hier für die letzten neun Monate, als ob ich mich nur über ihn verletzt habe, nur über ihn verrückt zu sprechen. He originally told me that my first clip was me talking to one of the guys. So I this whole time thought like, damn, like I'm going to look so bad. I was just like shitting on him to one of the guys.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
And then I watched the show back and what you said, Natalie said, and see that it really was like nothing to me. The first one was just like me being emotional, venting to Alexa. And that's what really like set it off was very disappointing.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Bist du stolz darauf, wie du die letzten Wochen gespielt hast?
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
That's why we eventually, ultimately broke up. He very, very... Und das ist, was ich sage. Ich wollte, wenn das alles rauskam und wir alle darüber sprechen konnten, ich wollte, dass ich es beurteilen konnte, warum ich ihn zurückgenommen hätte.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Es war literally dein Geburtstag. Und ich habe dich getreut. Ashley, warum? Ich hoffe, dieses Jahr bringt dir große Dinge. Ich liebe dich.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
That's what I'm saying. I would have loved to have justified taking you back and being like, yeah, this man changed. And I felt that in the relationship, but I felt as though I still couldn't let it go. Should have been left at that period.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Right. And we do that. That's what we do. And then you did it probably the next week. But we're in the clear now. We're done.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Yeah. But what you've done since we broke up till now proves to me that you've still not changed.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
You're calling me, bitching me out while other girls are in your bed. You're like losing your shit on me. I just can't.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Erzähl mir eine von den gedrehten TikToks von dir. Ich habe das TikTok gesehen, wo du angerufen hast und sie war schreiend. Ich habe es gehört.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Do you want to know why I hung up the call? It was because she was texting me.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
She was watching the live. I hung up the phone on you because I watched her text messages come through.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
I reached out. I said, hey, keep an eye on Grant. I'm really worried about him and your mental health. Because you do come to me and say things and I'm worried about your mental health.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
I don't want you to do something and that's on me. So I reached out, I texted her and she called me. And we talked for 45 minutes that we're worried about you, that we need you to get off social media for your daughter's sake.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ich bin nicht rausgekommen und nichts gesagt habe. Really bad about you. I said, you tried. And I couldn't forgive you.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Was wolltest du mir tun? Was wolltest du mir auf Social Media tun?
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
So the whole article that Netflix released, where I went back to probably three times now, where I say, he did everything he could, but I couldn't move past it, was not enough acknowledgement.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Es ist einfach traurig, das alles auszuprobieren. Das war nie das, was ich wollte. Und es ist einfach traurig, zu sehen, wie viel Geld er bekommt. Aber es ist auch traurig, zu sehen, wie er es selbst macht. Und ich bin einfach traurig.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Ich denke nicht, was ich mache, vergleicht mit dem, was du gemacht hast. Und ich denke nicht, was ich mache, ist wie ein direkter Ausdruck, um dich besser oder schlimmer zu machen. Ich bin, wer ich bin. Ich bin sehr sarkastisch. Ich lache damit. Ich versuche, mit der Geschichte zu laufen.
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Aber um hier zu sitzen und zu sagen, dass es im Verlust war, warum hast du ein Video gedreht, das sagt, wie viel du Natalie liebst und das war dein größter Regret, war es
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020 Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
The Viall Files
E908 Going Deeper – Temptation Island Reunion
Du willst also, dass ich versuche, dass du ein verändertes Mann bist. Ich kann das nicht tun.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
And then when she was pregnant, it had come out that he had been cheating on her for the entirety of their relationship. Um, and so because he lives overseas, he's taken advantage of things that aren't legal in the United States that are legal where he lives.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
So like, um, I guess like massage parlors and stuff like that. And I think he was also meeting other women on the internet. So he was going to the local big city going on dates. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is at home pregnant and,
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
at home where so they live overseas okay so she lives with him yeah she will she doesn't anymore but she doesn't or she did that so when all of this came out she obviously moved back to the states had the baby my sister-in-law keeps a great relationship with my mom um so they can see my niece grow up but i have received and my husband has also received multiple dms from multiple women
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Telling us that I need to control my brother, that my husband needs to control his brother-in-law and stop him from spreading his STDs.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
I don't know. I haven't had that conversation with my brother. So because he lives overseas, it's difficult to communicate with him because he's sleeping when I'm awake. So I kind of just needed some advice when it comes to he's gone through waves of ghosting my parents. And my mom simply just wants to talk to him like, how is how is your day? How was work? How's life? That's the end of that.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
But he doesn't always respond. So I kind of just wanted some advice on how to kind of keep to maintain that relationship. And then also, I don't really have a relationship with him right now because I don't love, obviously, what he did. And then I also think that it's just difficult because of the time difference.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Yes. So they are not legally only for benefits. Once she gets a job, then she'll go through with all of that. But she hasn't been able to get a job because she's taking care of their daughter and then living with her parents.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Yeah. And this is like never, this all had just come out within the past like two years. Like if you would have said my brother would have done this, he was a little bit of a late bloomer in like the dating world. So I don't like, if you would have told me this 10, 15 years ago, I would have been like, yeah, no, he doesn't have, my husband was like, really?
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Like he has, we didn't, we weren't aware of this game that he had.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
My husband did. So my husband had said that he followed up with, he got a LinkedIn DM to have us to try and control my brother from spreading his STDs, which I don't know what they were. And I think he followed up and I think it was just like... STDs, plural?
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Maybe one, maybe two. I never had that conversation because that's not a conversation I'd love to have with my brother. But he followed up and I think it was just like a girl that was confused. She was just confused. She thought that my brother had loved her, that they were together.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
i have not my parents have um and my parents have kind of made it seem like he knows that he did wrong um but then he just goes home and keeps doing it okay because he did come to the states last summer and we had a big conversation and he did meet his daughter um but it was just like when you meet his daughter like he wasn't there for her birth no he was not okay
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
So he met his daughter, and I think he tried to get off, but he just couldn't. He couldn't.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Yeah. I don't know why he didn't really give me any explanation.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
I don't think he's very involved. My mom actually had spoken with him recently and she said that he was possibly trying to make an Easter basket for my niece, but I don't know to what extent.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
They're not. I think, I mean, my mom feels a lot of guilt. She feels like it's kind of her fault because, I mean, my parents, just because she raised him.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
no no and i don't think that he was coddled by my parents at all like he definitely recognized his mistake but um i've had conversations with my sister-in-law where she because i mean they're still married she has access to his joint their joint bank account and she can kind of see his spending and i mean she doesn't care obviously now who he's like with but she sees the charges on his bank statements so she can kind of track where he goes
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
brother but like you you have the advantage of not being the one who should be embarrassed by their behavior you know so i mean yeah if you're actually willing to do something you know i you could reach out my husband and i were thinking about going because he goes to like the nearest big city um often and my my husband and i were thinking about traveling and kind of like
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
I don't want to say interventioning him, but kind of. But then, you know, logistically, like, we don't know where he stays. We don't know what he's doing. Like, you know, so it would just be hard to track him down.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Yeah. I don't know if he would want my brother and I to... go over there. I mean, he probably wouldn't, you know, to see us, but you know, to confront him on this sort of thing at all.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
I mean, yeah. And it just goes back to, it's difficult because I mean, he's asleep right now and there's like a very small window in the morning where I'm awake and he's asleep.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
To give a little bit of backstory, obviously, my brother and I are five years apart.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Yeah. I also think that he's a very high functioning alcoholic. So that's definitely a problem that hasn't been addressed.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
He's older. He's older. Okay. Yes. We've gone through parts of our relationship where we're really close, parts of our relationship where we're not close. And he currently lives overseas. He's lived overseas for the past five-ish years.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Obviously, you know, through social media, like, you can tell that he's my brother. I post things with both of us, you know. But I pretty much said, like, hey, you need to stop this. Like, this is not... And usually his response is, like...
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
I feel like those the conversations that have been had, he's kind of like, I know, I know, I know, I'll be better.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
I don't think my parents are. Like I said, I haven't had any conversations and obviously that's probably something that I need to do. And if my husband and I talk to him, like we won't tiptoe around anything, but I don't believe my parents have. I believe my parents, when they confronted him, they were very direct and they were like, clearly, you know that this is wrong.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
To give a little bit of backstory, I found out I was pregnant in 2023. I have a 17-month-old.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Thank you. Congratulations on River. She's adorable. And so my sister-in-law actually found out she was pregnant the month after. So we have babies that are a month apart. It's great. I love it. Your sister-in-law being your- My brother's wife.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Well, and also like the conversations I do try to have with him and I try to ask him things that aren't necessarily like one word responses, but that's a lot of what I get. Like, you know, how's this going? How's that going? How's this going? And he's just like, great.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Yes, that came out. So they were going through the IVF process and she actually got an STD. So they had to clear all that up because they were going through IVF. My sister-in-law had some fertility issues, obviously. So she thought this was kind of like her only chance to have a kid. So she went through the IVF process. Everything had come out that he was cheating on her.
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E935 Ask Nick - Help! My Brother Is A H*e!
Yeah, no, that definitely. I mean, that helps.
Watch What Crappens
#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Paramount Plus brings you an exclusive all-access window into the life of America's biggest soccer star with its brand new docuseries, Pulisic. Go behind the scenes on and off the pitch as American captain Christian Pulisic navigates his stellar season abroad with AC Milan, leads the U.S. men's national team internationally, and prepares for the 2026 World Cup on home soil.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Catch the all-new Paramount Plus original docuseries, Polisic, presented by Michelob Ultra. Featuring soccer legends Clint Dempsey, Weston McKinney, Zlatan, Jurgen Klopp, and more. Streaming now on Paramount Plus. Sign up at ParamountPlus.com today.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
You're really lucky Juan's not here. I want her to say that at the round table. You're lucky Juan Dixon isn't here right now. The second she gets tapped.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And then... Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. It was a scene.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Hava Nagila Weber. Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And Ashley's like, well, for the record, I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. You know, if you felt like you wanted to get on the show and, you know, you needed a storyline, like who hasn't paid for a storyline or two?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And Ashley, meanwhile, is like, do you think she uses Cash App or Zelle, Venmo? I mean, what is it?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, Ashley's like, well, she uses alcohol to cope with some of her difficulties.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And Ashley's like, well, of course, you know, I did think about that in my mind. But, you know, nothing's great. But one of the things I wanted to ask her here today, and, you know, maybe I should talk to her picture. Hi, picture! So one of the journalists told me that...
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I'm a man. I'm a man. And I'm sick of bullshit. Because I'm a man who's sick of bullshit.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Well, there's a law. It's called thinking a battery. And so they got me. I'm going to get him on thinking a battery. And he's going to go to prison. And you guys, I'm very sad about it. And so I did something. I got creative. And I wrote a song.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I'm a man and I'm under stress and I'm sick of bullshit. I'm sick of the bullshit.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And Masha's like, covering all the bases here.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So she's like, it turns out that was Karen. And this was before the unfortunate passing of her parents.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So she's like, but she also stood on business, you know, no, no contrition, no apologies. And so, you know, now we're sitting here on the couch and everyone's had their opinion. All of a sudden it's a very different Mia, the way she tears up.