Ashlyn Harris

Yeah, I'm sure. And I think it goes to something really important, which is personal growth, spiritual development, whatever you want to call it, is hard and messy. And perfection is not an offer.

And I think just knowing that and even hearing Jay Shetty talk about making mistakes and getting his shins cut off by a laser as he walks into the bedroom with his phone is useful because people need to know It's not a straight, unbroken, upward trajectory. That's not what this is about. There was a great tweet, or I guess we call them exes now, or whatever. There was a great ex, yeah.

And I think just knowing that and even hearing Jay Shetty talk about making mistakes and getting his shins cut off by a laser as he walks into the bedroom with his phone is useful because people need to know It's not a straight, unbroken, upward trajectory. That's not what this is about. There was a great tweet, or I guess we call them exes now, or whatever. There was a great ex, yeah.

There was a great ex the other day from a Zen Roshi, Roshi Joan Halifax. She's this incredible human being, and she posted a picture that was basically a bunch of squiggly lines just going nowhere. And then the caption was, the path. That's the thing. This is messy. We are messy animals, and that's okay.

There was a great ex the other day from a Zen Roshi, Roshi Joan Halifax. She's this incredible human being, and she posted a picture that was basically a bunch of squiggly lines just going nowhere. And then the caption was, the path. That's the thing. This is messy. We are messy animals, and that's okay.

And what I think is important to know is that growth is possible, but it is impossible without making a bunch of mistakes. And if you can get that into your head, you're better off. So how do you get that into your head? There's a bunch of research that I've become increasingly interested in about the possibility of reprogramming your inner dialogue. Most of us have really nasty inner weather.

And what I think is important to know is that growth is possible, but it is impossible without making a bunch of mistakes. And if you can get that into your head, you're better off. So how do you get that into your head? There's a bunch of research that I've become increasingly interested in about the possibility of reprogramming your inner dialogue. Most of us have really nasty inner weather.

I sometimes joke that if anybody said to me the types of shit that I say to myself, I would be punching that person in the face, and yet I talk to myself in quite a scathing, venomous way, and I know this is not unusual. So what can we do about it? Well, you can get into the habit. You can develop – and again, this is a data and evidence-backed assertion.

I sometimes joke that if anybody said to me the types of shit that I say to myself, I would be punching that person in the face, and yet I talk to myself in quite a scathing, venomous way, and I know this is not unusual. So what can we do about it? Well, you can get into the habit. You can develop – and again, this is a data and evidence-backed assertion.

I'm not just making this up, nor is it an original observation. But what I've learned is that you can get into the habit of talking to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. And – There are some little hacks that make this easier. One of them is to actually refer to yourself by your name. So, Jay, I know you just got distracted in meditation, but...

I'm not just making this up, nor is it an original observation. But what I've learned is that you can get into the habit of talking to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. And – There are some little hacks that make this easier. One of them is to actually refer to yourself by your name. So, Jay, I know you just got distracted in meditation, but...

Dude, as you know, getting distracted is a part of meditation. If it was possible to clear your mind, then we'd have lots of people walking around with no thoughts. But that isn't possible. What is possible is to focus your mind for a few nanoseconds at a time and then start again and again and again. And we are very good at giving advice to other people, but not taking our own advice.

Dude, as you know, getting distracted is a part of meditation. If it was possible to clear your mind, then we'd have lots of people walking around with no thoughts. But that isn't possible. What is possible is to focus your mind for a few nanoseconds at a time and then start again and again and again. And we are very good at giving advice to other people, but not taking our own advice.

And so this technique, which is called distance self-talk, where you use your own name to create some distance, can allow you, Jay, or me, Dan, to give ourselves the advice that we're so willing to give other people and then actually to hear it. Does that make sense?

And so this technique, which is called distance self-talk, where you use your own name to create some distance, can allow you, Jay, or me, Dan, to give ourselves the advice that we're so willing to give other people and then actually to hear it. Does that make sense?

I think it's absolutely complementary. You know, as you know, in meditation, you are one of the benefits is that you're more self-aware. You're more aware of all of these wild thoughts careening through your head. And so it's easier to wake up. Now, I mean, I get lost in meditation. you know, homicidal fantasies and, you know, unspeakable fantasy, other kinds of fantasies. That's just the mind.

I think it's absolutely complementary. You know, as you know, in meditation, you are one of the benefits is that you're more self-aware. You're more aware of all of these wild thoughts careening through your head. And so it's easier to wake up. Now, I mean, I get lost in meditation. you know, homicidal fantasies and, you know, unspeakable fantasy, other kinds of fantasies. That's just the mind.

But I'm more likely now to have some self-awareness. I mean, another word for that is mindfulness, to be able to see what's happening between my ears, behind my eyes, without necessarily being caught up in it. And so the sooner I can wake up to the fact that I'm in the middle of a jag of self-judgment, Then I can bring in these other tools.

But I'm more likely now to have some self-awareness. I mean, another word for that is mindfulness, to be able to see what's happening between my ears, behind my eyes, without necessarily being caught up in it. And so the sooner I can wake up to the fact that I'm in the middle of a jag of self-judgment, Then I can bring in these other tools.

Oh, yeah, you know what I need to do right now is have a talk between the sane part of myself and the insane part of myself. And as you said before, the inner critic comes to the ball masquerading as wisdom. But it's not wisdom. It is your ancient fears. And it is the dysfunction of the larger culture. So you might be telling yourself you need to look better. Well, that's not your voice.