Audrey
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Hey, hey, Charlie, listen, about career day.
What? Just for a second there, I thought about when we first met and how excited you were to write the great American novel.
I will kill him when I'm goddamn good and ready.
What was that? Nothing, my sweet.
Yeah.
I did.
Yeah, I'm trying.
What's up? Thank you. Thank you. So I guess my short question is, should I stay and try to fix my marriage or is it simply beyond savings?
Yeah.
Um, okay. We've been together for about 20 years, um, two young kids and he's also had a, um, binge cocaine addiction, um, The entire time. It's gone spans of a year not using, but it's been consistent. And we've tried rehab. He's tried rehab. We've tried counseling. We've tried everything. And it's continued to escalate.
And finally, about six months ago, when he brought it into the house, I kicked him out and separated and told him to leave. And so it's been six months. Um, we've done therapy, we've done family therapy, IV therapy, we've done all the therapies and we're just stuck. And the only difference is he doesn't live here.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. It's so.
And he sometimes sees the kids when he's not using, um, he only uses on the weekends it appears and he's high functioning otherwise, but not functioning for our family. And I'm stuck.
It does.
Yeah, no.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Thank you.
I'll give that a go. Yeah.
Well, I had a hard time going away, but when I did go away about a year and a half ago on a trip that was pretty important across the world, he was with the kids and used. And my daughter called, FaceTimed. She's young, but she FaceTimed. And I had to get somebody to the house to take the kids away. And that was kind of the thing that I said I would never be okay with. And it happened.
And,
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then it took me a year before he, you know, just continued to do it. And he brought it into the house when we were all sleeping and I caught him.
Yeah. There's more. There's more. How many times has he cheated on you? Exactly. Five years ago, I found out there was escorts too. Hmm. And so it's bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're both in finance, so finances are not bad. They're good.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
I don't know. I thought, you know, I guess naively I thought, I guess this happens and he's not doing it. He didn't do it. It would be like two years span and it wouldn't happen. And then it would happen and he would just disappear for 24 hours. Or 72 hours. And then we had humans. Yeah, yeah, usually about 24 for sure. It usually didn't go beyond 24.
That means you were really present in the ramp up.
Yeah. Wow. And he's mad at me. And so there's a lot of anger.
And, you know, there's a lot of everything's intermingled.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Get out.
Yeah.
I don't know. I guess I'm scared of him dying.
What if I can't do it?
Yeah. My dad died when I was eight.
He killed himself.
Yep. Yep.
I don't remember. I was eight.
Should I stay and try to fix my marriage or is it simply beyond saving?
Yeah, yeah. Like, he was abusive to my mom. She separated from him. They were separated at the time. And he was coming to get us to take us out for breakfast. And she found him in the garage. So I'm sure that's, I'm petrified of him dying. Yeah. But I know all the things. I am intelligent. I can do this.
Yep. I'm just stuck.
I have lawyers. I'm ready to go with things, but I'm just stuck.
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. I guess it feels with him. It is my fault because I, I didn't save him. I didn't.
Yeah. I mean, he's out and me and the kids are safe and we're at peace. And, you know, but I can't ever get rid of him because he's, He's their father.
He is.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, not for the same company, but not in the same place every day.
I hope not, but that fear is there. The stigma, yeah, I mean, as big as it is, it's still small. So yeah, I'm concerned about that.
He has been...
Validation.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. He holds a higher position too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Eight and 10.
I did. I did. After listening to a few of you. I have. That's the language I'm using with them. Okay. My 10-year-old knows... That it's drugs. They call it acting weird. When mom's away, dad acts weird. But it's just for a day.
Yeah. They're in therapy, too.
Yeah.
him.
Hey, oh my gosh. I'm a big fan.
Yeah, he does now.
Yeah.
But you're right. I gave it a try. Yeah.