Ben Kissel

What does that have to do with sucking your own dick?

Just to say, I'm a person that sucks its own dick.

Here's my driver's license.

I suck my own dick.

Oh, wow.

So they want to be like on a government registry.

And they're on.

I sent it right to Steve Miller, guys.

So here's the next.

This one's brutal.

I dated a man who had osteogenesis imperfecta, typically referred to as brittle bone disease by dumb bitches like me.

This genetic disease affects your collagen production and causes your bones to break super easily.

This man had steel rods in both legs, and at 26 had lost count of how many fractures he'd suffered after 200, not including all the bones he'd broken during his own birth.

I make hella suck-on-your-own-dick jokes, and he'd always look a little embarrassed when I did.

Until about a month into dating, when he finally said to me, I can do that, you know.

I got way too excited and immediately asked him a million questions about it.

Not do it?

I even asked him if he broke two ribs just to be able to do it, but he somehow did not get that reference, you know?

Too real, maybe?

I also asked him, does it feel like getting your dick sucked or does it feel like sucking a dick?