Ben Orlando

by yourself but if you have somebody or friends and you can really kind of work those things out together um it's so much more helpful because we're not we're not meant to be alone yeah absolutely um you mentioned your your childhood um and i know your relationship with your with your dad

I am grateful to him for what he gave me.

Like he was, he was stable as a father in terms of providing and being there and, you know, present for a lot of things in my life.

Um, and at the same time, he, uh, wasn't, uh, able to connect emotionally a lot of the time or wasn't aware of, you know, what he was doing or his anxieties.

And so, uh,

For me, I had an unpredictable relationship with anger and it was hard for me to express myself.

And in terms of relationships, this is, I mean, I, I had like some relationships when I was younger, early twenties, but like, I didn't know what I was doing.

I didn't know

I didn't know about boundaries, you know, it's like, or expressing myself.

If I was angry, how I expressed that.

And so I held it and then it built up, turned into resentment and came out in other ways.

Cause I was so unaware.

I couldn't even see like anger building up and resentment.

Um, and I just stuffed in and be silent and detached.

And, um, but you know,

My relationship with baseball, I played Little League.

I was a great center fielder.

So, I mean, I made...

I made I threw I threw I threw a guy out at home and literally can that was unheard of.

That was awesome.