Bernie

Santa hands Bernie the magical scroll, which is now covered in chocolate goo. Bernie Jewish Mothers the list by licking her finger and wiping goo away.

Santa looks over at the list and, with a mouthful of cheese, swipes. The naughty list appears and is massive.

Santa looks over at the list and, with a mouthful of cheese, swipes. The naughty list appears and is massive.

Santa looks over at the list and, with a mouthful of cheese, swipes. The naughty list appears and is massive.

Santa nods again, hyper-focused on finishing the cheese crumbs in his beard.

Santa nods again, hyper-focused on finishing the cheese crumbs in his beard.

Santa nods again, hyper-focused on finishing the cheese crumbs in his beard.

Coal. Santa holds up a honking piece of black coal.

Coal. Santa holds up a honking piece of black coal.

Coal. Santa holds up a honking piece of black coal.

She clicks the name and the description pops up.

She clicks the name and the description pops up.

She clicks the name and the description pops up.

Bernie goes off on a tirade of justice.

Bernie goes off on a tirade of justice.

Bernie goes off on a tirade of justice.

As Bernie stands on her soapbox, Santa, mid-lollipop lick, freezes. His eyes spring open. We enter, and an ugly Christmas sweater unravels, turning into the dangling tzitzit of Talit. A menorah's seventh candle gets lit, and Benjamin's floating head appears.

As Bernie stands on her soapbox, Santa, mid-lollipop lick, freezes. His eyes spring open. We enter, and an ugly Christmas sweater unravels, turning into the dangling tzitzit of Talit. A menorah's seventh candle gets lit, and Benjamin's floating head appears.

As Bernie stands on her soapbox, Santa, mid-lollipop lick, freezes. His eyes spring open. We enter, and an ugly Christmas sweater unravels, turning into the dangling tzitzit of Talit. A menorah's seventh candle gets lit, and Benjamin's floating head appears.

We zoom out of Santa's eye as Bernie finishes her rant.