Bernie

What, are you just going to watch me? Jeannie Smith? I've been waiting for you all night. That's not creepy, Jeannie. Okay, well, here I am.

Yep, got it. Act surprised for your parents. Good night.

Yep, got it. Act surprised for your parents. Good night.

Yep, got it. Act surprised for your parents. Good night.

Wait! I want to exchange it. I don't think it works that way, kid. I mean, it could, but I don't know how. I don't know if we'd do receipts, but your parents probably could exchange it. They'll figure it out.

Wait! I want to exchange it. I don't think it works that way, kid. I mean, it could, but I don't know how. I don't know if we'd do receipts, but your parents probably could exchange it. They'll figure it out.

Wait! I want to exchange it. I don't think it works that way, kid. I mean, it could, but I don't know how. I don't know if we'd do receipts, but your parents probably could exchange it. They'll figure it out.

Oh, um, that is sad info.

Oh, um, that is sad info.

Oh, um, that is sad info.

I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this.

I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this.

I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this.

Not what I, whatever, it's fine. Jeannie, let me ask you something. Do your parents get along? No, they've been fighting a lot. Hmm, do they seem like they're happy together?

Not what I, whatever, it's fine. Jeannie, let me ask you something. Do your parents get along? No, they've been fighting a lot. Hmm, do they seem like they're happy together?

Not what I, whatever, it's fine. Jeannie, let me ask you something. Do your parents get along? No, they've been fighting a lot. Hmm, do they seem like they're happy together?

Then why do you want them to stay together? I don't want things to change. Why? Things sound like they suck here right now. Besides, divorce can be dope. It can? Yeah. Two houses, two Christmases. Sometimes they'll fight over you and try to buy your love, which can be hella fun. Maybe you'll remarry and you'll get step-siblings or half-siblings. You an only child? Yeah, I hate it.

Then why do you want them to stay together? I don't want things to change. Why? Things sound like they suck here right now. Besides, divorce can be dope. It can? Yeah. Two houses, two Christmases. Sometimes they'll fight over you and try to buy your love, which can be hella fun. Maybe you'll remarry and you'll get step-siblings or half-siblings. You an only child? Yeah, I hate it.

Then why do you want them to stay together? I don't want things to change. Why? Things sound like they suck here right now. Besides, divorce can be dope. It can? Yeah. Two houses, two Christmases. Sometimes they'll fight over you and try to buy your love, which can be hella fun. Maybe you'll remarry and you'll get step-siblings or half-siblings. You an only child? Yeah, I hate it.

So the opportunities sound fruitful. Look, I know this sucks. Like, even though it has nothing to do with you, it affects you. And it's really unfair. But there's another really good thing about divorce that I didn't mention. The best part.