Betty Guadagno

Wow.

But the last two years of my active addiction, my life evaporated.

I lost all my teeth.

These are paid for.

And I would have, I had like these huge holes all over my face and my arms because every time that I got high, I thought that bugs lived inside me.

So I would pick myself open with razor and I would cut myself with razor blades and I would burn myself trying to get the bugs out of me.

Like it was crazy.

That's how I know that addiction is a disease.

Like I have the dis-ease of addiction because who would consciously choose to use substances when that is the outcome?

I knew that was going to happen every time.

And I was obsessive and compulsive.

I had to do it anyway.

And so then in 2019, yeah, I took too much and I overdosed and I had this really spiritually transformative experience in my overdose.

And I had overdosed lots of times before in my life.

And I had hit bottom lots of times before in my life.

But this particular time,

something miraculous happened.

And the first part of my experience felt like a life review.

And I'm not just a person who experienced trauma in my life.

I'm a traumatized person who maliciously, intentionally traumatized other people.