Big Jay Oakerson

I tried, though.

Oh, did you?

No.

No, I did.

That actually happened to me recently.

I was moving my lawn furniture because my fucking Mexican fucking lawn care people never move the furniture back to where it's supposed to be, and I'm moving it back, and I felt my foot go into the ground, and I heard beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and these baby bunnies jumped out of a bunny's nest, which apparently they're underground.

I had no idea.

And yeah, they fucking... So Lewis reported those guys to ICE.

Yeah, the one jumped in my pool and went belly up, and I thought it was dead.

I scooped it out with the scooper, threw it in the garbage.

My girlfriend was like, are you sure it's dead?

I was like, I'm positive it's dead.

Did you try feeding it carrots?

She really did bring carrots out to these little broken bunnies.

I was like, they don't want your carrots.

Did they live?

Stop trying to WhatsApp these rabbits.

I thought they were going to die for sure.

It was on Memorial Day, and I called a rescue, an animal rescue place, and they were like, we're closed today.

Call the cops.