Bill Burr

That's all I know.

No whores.

No inspirational workout videos, you know, where some guy is trying to inspire you to work out, but he's really just wanted to take his shirt off.

You know, what's funny about those fucking Instagram people is beyond the fact that they're doing that or the inspirational celebrity.

Well, they're just every day, you know, acting like they have life all figured out and now they're going to pass these gems on to you.

Hey, next time you're thinking outward, look inward to find the real you so your truth can be fucking sent to the stratosphere.

Shut the fuck up.

And the other one I love.

I love the celebrity fucking standing outside his private jet with this serious look on his face.

How about a smile?

You fucking cunt.

standing there yo this is how we do this is my louis vuitton luggage what a fucking moron kind of asshole buys five thousand dollar fucking pieces of luggage so some asshole can throw it in the bottom of a fucking united flight you know i i don't you'd have to fly private for the rest of your life and watch your luggage just going easy easy

Or you could just get a fucking bag that's designed to get the shit kicked out of it.

You can keep all your fucking jewels inside of it.

Oh, my God.

If I see one more cunt do the photo shoot with all their cars and then the fucking private jet in the background.

What is that?

And, you know, just to fuck.

Just put it under.

I'm rubbing it in your face that I have more money than you.