Bill Eddy

And what's interesting, the word that I didn't come up with this, other people came up with in divorce settings, where let's say you're divorcing someone with high conflict personality, And they're like, I hate you, I hate you don't leave me kind of personality. And so, you know, I'm divorcing you and they're like, you know, rage at you. And then, no, I'm really leaving.

And what's interesting, the word that I didn't come up with this, other people came up with in divorce settings, where let's say you're divorcing someone with high conflict personality, And they're like, I hate you, I hate you don't leave me kind of personality. And so, you know, I'm divorcing you and they're like, you know, rage at you. And then, no, I'm really leaving.

And what's interesting, the word that I didn't come up with this, other people came up with in divorce settings, where let's say you're divorcing someone with high conflict personality, And they're like, I hate you, I hate you don't leave me kind of personality. And so, you know, I'm divorcing you and they're like, you know, rage at you. And then, no, I'm really leaving.

Then they switch and beg and plead. And I've got cases where people say, and, you know, my ex-to-be just seduced me and somehow I went along with it because it felt real good. And it's back and forth from the high conflict person and they call it hoovering. You go, hoovering? Where did that word come from? The hoover vacuum. What happens is they vacuum, they suck you back into the relationship.

Then they switch and beg and plead. And I've got cases where people say, and, you know, my ex-to-be just seduced me and somehow I went along with it because it felt real good. And it's back and forth from the high conflict person and they call it hoovering. You go, hoovering? Where did that word come from? The hoover vacuum. What happens is they vacuum, they suck you back into the relationship.

Then they switch and beg and plead. And I've got cases where people say, and, you know, my ex-to-be just seduced me and somehow I went along with it because it felt real good. And it's back and forth from the high conflict person and they call it hoovering. You go, hoovering? Where did that word come from? The hoover vacuum. What happens is they vacuum, they suck you back into the relationship.

And it's very common. with some of the high conflict personalities. They can't stand to lose you. And when rage doesn't work, then they try to seduce you back in. And some people have allowed themselves to get back in. And that's not good. You've got to be ready for that. Don't be surprised by that. And don't give in to that if you're sure it's over.

And it's very common. with some of the high conflict personalities. They can't stand to lose you. And when rage doesn't work, then they try to seduce you back in. And some people have allowed themselves to get back in. And that's not good. You've got to be ready for that. Don't be surprised by that. And don't give in to that if you're sure it's over.

And it's very common. with some of the high conflict personalities. They can't stand to lose you. And when rage doesn't work, then they try to seduce you back in. And some people have allowed themselves to get back in. And that's not good. You've got to be ready for that. Don't be surprised by that. And don't give in to that if you're sure it's over.

If you're not sure it's over, get couples counseling and see where it might go.

If you're not sure it's over, get couples counseling and see where it might go.

If you're not sure it's over, get couples counseling and see where it might go.

I wouldn't say it's the majority of cases for sure, but it's a common symptom with high conflict people. And you hit on it. It's like they can't handle the pain. And so they really bring the person back in. But if this is the direction you're going, you need to let them start coping with the pain, either step by step or if it's dangerous, all at once. But don't go back if you can help it.

I wouldn't say it's the majority of cases for sure, but it's a common symptom with high conflict people. And you hit on it. It's like they can't handle the pain. And so they really bring the person back in. But if this is the direction you're going, you need to let them start coping with the pain, either step by step or if it's dangerous, all at once. But don't go back if you can help it.

I wouldn't say it's the majority of cases for sure, but it's a common symptom with high conflict people. And you hit on it. It's like they can't handle the pain. And so they really bring the person back in. But if this is the direction you're going, you need to let them start coping with the pain, either step by step or if it's dangerous, all at once. But don't go back if you can help it.

Yeah. I think in some ways, to some extent, that's high conflict parents who see everything in all or nothing terms, see their kids as offended by other kids or they're protecting their children. And I am concerned about it. And I also agree it isn't just social media. In many ways, I've been watching this since families got smaller. So I remember growing up, most families had several kids.

Yeah. I think in some ways, to some extent, that's high conflict parents who see everything in all or nothing terms, see their kids as offended by other kids or they're protecting their children. And I am concerned about it. And I also agree it isn't just social media. In many ways, I've been watching this since families got smaller. So I remember growing up, most families had several kids.

Yeah. I think in some ways, to some extent, that's high conflict parents who see everything in all or nothing terms, see their kids as offended by other kids or they're protecting their children. And I am concerned about it. And I also agree it isn't just social media. In many ways, I've been watching this since families got smaller. So I remember growing up, most families had several kids.

The divorces I do now often have one or two kids. And that's been true in many ways since the 1970s. And a lot of it has to do with birth control. So don't just blame social media, also blame birth control. That when people could decide how large a family they have, they decided to have smaller families.

The divorces I do now often have one or two kids. And that's been true in many ways since the 1970s. And a lot of it has to do with birth control. So don't just blame social media, also blame birth control. That when people could decide how large a family they have, they decided to have smaller families.