Billy Crudup

So if somebody is going to give me an opportunity, I should get off my ass and do it and keep my cost of living low.

That's another big thing.

I was actually just.

Oh, this is exciting.

This is a treat for you.

Oh.

Prada sunglasses, $548.

Striped blouse from the row, $1,600.

Hermes Birkin bag, $38,500.

Realizing halfway home from Santa Monica that despite how cute you look, you're going to Tonka in the car.

priceless there are some things money can't buy for everything else there's faster card i don't even know what tonka means but does that mean shit yourself yes it is that i can do another i can do a better take oh okay let's go get those this is like that thing i wrote realizing halfway home from santa monica that despite how cute you look

Hold on, hold on.

I'm a professional.

You know, if you pay me a little money, I'll take it very seriously.

Guarantee, in the 13 years I did it, I never had to say $38,500.

Realizing halfway home from Santa Monica that despite how cute you look, you're going to... I can't do it.

Oh, my God.

We have a friend, Naomi and I, who is desperate to write a book called Shit Happens about all of those kinds of stories.

There was another one that I really liked where somebody thinks they're going to pass wind and something else where it's, I gambled and lost.

People say I trusted a fart.