Bob Parsons

That was for an inner child workshop. And I was just trying to get rid of my PTSD and deal with it.

That was for an inner child workshop. And I was just trying to get rid of my PTSD and deal with it.

Oh, God, it had to be in the 90s sometime.

Oh, God, it had to be in the 90s sometime.

Oh, God, it had to be in the 90s sometime.

Well, the condom story is when I was a... It was a junior or a senior in high school. I had never been with a woman, you know what I mean? We talked about it day and night, but I had never, never, never, never been with a girl.

Well, the condom story is when I was a... It was a junior or a senior in high school. I had never been with a woman, you know what I mean? We talked about it day and night, but I had never, never, never, never been with a girl.

Well, the condom story is when I was a... It was a junior or a senior in high school. I had never been with a woman, you know what I mean? We talked about it day and night, but I had never, never, never, never been with a girl.

And this is, I'm growing up in East Baltimore, so my buddy Danny Thorne, who's a year or two older than me, who was my total advice on, you know, he told me everything I needed to know about women. Most of the stuff, totally, totally wrong. Like he told me, he said, you know, when you go down on a woman, right? And I say, I don't even know what it looks like. He says, you go down on a woman.

And this is, I'm growing up in East Baltimore, so my buddy Danny Thorne, who's a year or two older than me, who was my total advice on, you know, he told me everything I needed to know about women. Most of the stuff, totally, totally wrong. Like he told me, he said, you know, when you go down on a woman, right? And I say, I don't even know what it looks like. He says, you go down on a woman.

And this is, I'm growing up in East Baltimore, so my buddy Danny Thorne, who's a year or two older than me, who was my total advice on, you know, he told me everything I needed to know about women. Most of the stuff, totally, totally wrong. Like he told me, he said, you know, when you go down on a woman, right? And I say, I don't even know what it looks like. He says, you go down on a woman.

There's a lot of ways to do it. He says, you move all that hair to the side. This is back before they shaved, right? Move all the hair to the side. And you kiss. You're going to see something that looks like the baby Jesus kiss it. So anyhow, that was the advice I grew up with. Nice. So Danny was getting home-based action from this girl named Toni. And Toni, she lived with her mom.

There's a lot of ways to do it. He says, you move all that hair to the side. This is back before they shaved, right? Move all the hair to the side. And you kiss. You're going to see something that looks like the baby Jesus kiss it. So anyhow, that was the advice I grew up with. Nice. So Danny was getting home-based action from this girl named Toni. And Toni, she lived with her mom.

There's a lot of ways to do it. He says, you move all that hair to the side. This is back before they shaved, right? Move all the hair to the side. And you kiss. You're going to see something that looks like the baby Jesus kiss it. So anyhow, that was the advice I grew up with. Nice. So Danny was getting home-based action from this girl named Toni. And Toni, she lived with her mom.

It was her and her mom. And her mother was going out of town for the weekend. And so Danny arranged with Toni that he and her would have the upstairs. And Toni's girlfriend, Pauline— said that she was ready to plunge ahead and I'd be just the guy that she wanted to do it with. So I thought, oh my God. It's here. So I'd go ahead and it sounds good to me.

It was her and her mom. And her mother was going out of town for the weekend. And so Danny arranged with Toni that he and her would have the upstairs. And Toni's girlfriend, Pauline— said that she was ready to plunge ahead and I'd be just the guy that she wanted to do it with. So I thought, oh my God. It's here. So I'd go ahead and it sounds good to me.

It was her and her mom. And her mother was going out of town for the weekend. And so Danny arranged with Toni that he and her would have the upstairs. And Toni's girlfriend, Pauline— said that she was ready to plunge ahead and I'd be just the guy that she wanted to do it with. So I thought, oh my God. It's here. So I'd go ahead and it sounds good to me.

So the first thing I did the next day was a Monday. I remember I went to the pharmacy, and I had just enough money to buy one condom, so I bought one condom. And so I'd go home at the end of the day, and I'd have his condom squirreled away, you know, and I'd pull it out, and I'd sit it on my dresser, and I'd look at it, and it'd look at me, you know, and—

So the first thing I did the next day was a Monday. I remember I went to the pharmacy, and I had just enough money to buy one condom, so I bought one condom. And so I'd go home at the end of the day, and I'd have his condom squirreled away, you know, and I'd pull it out, and I'd sit it on my dresser, and I'd look at it, and it'd look at me, you know, and—

So the first thing I did the next day was a Monday. I remember I went to the pharmacy, and I had just enough money to buy one condom, so I bought one condom. And so I'd go home at the end of the day, and I'd have his condom squirreled away, you know, and I'd pull it out, and I'd sit it on my dresser, and I'd look at it, and it'd look at me, you know, and—