Bozoma Saint John

It's just that I wish I had been motivated differently.

Oh, man. I think at that time I was motivated by just my own need for my own life. You know, not really focused on anybody else's. And that sounds very selfish, but that's where I was. You know, it was not, I was a mother and a wife, but I was so only focused on myself.

Oh, man. I think at that time I was motivated by just my own need for my own life. You know, not really focused on anybody else's. And that sounds very selfish, but that's where I was. You know, it was not, I was a mother and a wife, but I was so only focused on myself.

Yeah. At that time? Yeah. I mean, it's like, you know, there was so much that... had happened on my path to motherhood. And it's another one of the things that like, you know, now I talk about so openly because we also paint motherhood like it's supposed to be like this great, amazing thing that like, oh, you get pregnant.

Yeah. At that time? Yeah. I mean, it's like, you know, there was so much that... had happened on my path to motherhood. And it's another one of the things that like, you know, now I talk about so openly because we also paint motherhood like it's supposed to be like this great, amazing thing that like, oh, you get pregnant.

And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, all this love shows up from nowhere. And you're just like encapsulated by this person. It's like, no, that actually doesn't happen all of the time.

And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, all this love shows up from nowhere. And you're just like encapsulated by this person. It's like, no, that actually doesn't happen all of the time.

Moments of that might happen.

Moments of that might happen.

And sitting there and being like, oh hell, I made a mistake. This is not what I wanted in my life. You know? And struggling with that. And there were so many times where I thought, about that. It was like, wow, is this life what I actually wanted? And so then at that moment in December of 2013, I was like, oh no, I have to make the life that I want. I have to make it.

And sitting there and being like, oh hell, I made a mistake. This is not what I wanted in my life. You know? And struggling with that. And there were so many times where I thought, about that. It was like, wow, is this life what I actually wanted? And so then at that moment in December of 2013, I was like, oh no, I have to make the life that I want. I have to make it.

I have to be an active participant in it. You don't just sit back and let the life happen to you. You have to make it.

I have to be an active participant in it. You don't just sit back and let the life happen to you. You have to make it.

This might sound funny, but I think logic is what surprised me most. The logic of things. You know, the writing down. It's almost like the writing down of the plan. You know, things that make sense. Because you're like, oh, I'm going to do these things. I'm logically going to take these steps in order to get to that thing, right?

This might sound funny, but I think logic is what surprised me most. The logic of things. You know, the writing down. It's almost like the writing down of the plan. You know, things that make sense. Because you're like, oh, I'm going to do these things. I'm logically going to take these steps in order to get to that thing, right?

And all of his regrets, everything that he wanted to do that he didn't get a chance to do was based on the logic of the steps to get to that thing that he never got to.

And all of his regrets, everything that he wanted to do that he didn't get a chance to do was based on the logic of the steps to get to that thing that he never got to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making the to-do list. And then, yeah. And then it's like, oh, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do that. All based on logic. Life is not made of logic. Life is magic. It's the accidental encounters. It's the things that you can't explain.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making the to-do list. And then, yeah. And then it's like, oh, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do that. All based on logic. Life is not made of logic. Life is magic. It's the accidental encounters. It's the things that you can't explain.

The feeling that you get in your belly that makes you feel alive and glittery, or it makes you super sad, or you don't want to get out of bed, and the sky just looks gray. And then maybe one thing happens, you're like, oh, OK, I can do it. You know, that's life. And being open to that is actually what gives you the experiences.