Brad Stulberg

I think the first is just the mindset shift that you're never going to get better unless you start with acceptance.

So it's the first principle of Buddhism is acceptance.

In many ways, it's suffering exists, which is accept suffering.

Stoicism teaches us that we have to be able to see our situation clearly to do anything about it.

All the more recent evidence-based programs for behavioral change all start with acceptance.

So I think a lot of people can tell themselves a story that if I just pretend it's not so, it won't be.

And what I'm here to tell you is that the research says that eventually you're going to hit bottom and you might as well realize it now than wait six months to hit bottom and then do something about it.

And the last strategy that is perhaps the most powerful is to have people in your life that you love and trust that can say, like, you're seeing things wrong.

You're delusional right now.

And then you actually have to listen to those people.

Oh, thank you.

That's one of my favorite parts of the book, too, probably because I also struggle with it.

So, you know, I write these things to help myself figure them out in many ways.

So making things happen is, to me, effortful focus.

And it is driving.

It is screwing the wrench tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter until the bolt locks in.

And what the research shows is that strategy gets you very, very, very far until it becomes the very thing that gets in your way.

So these coveted flow states, I'm sure you've talked about this on the podcast before, where everything's clicking, you're in the zone.

A big part of those flow states is effortlessness, right?

So once you get really close to breaking through, to peaking in something, the thing that got you that far, the making things happen, the trying, actually becomes the one thing that keeps you attached to your ego, to your sense of self, that you have to learn to let go of.