Brad Stulberg

And if you're wrestling with it, then it's separate from you.

And if you're wrestling with it, then it's separate from you.

So a big part of what I try to do as a writer actually is to help people name things that they're experiencing.

So a big part of what I try to do as a writer actually is to help people name things that they're experiencing.

Because once you can say, oh, that's heroic individualism, then instead of just being it, it can be something that you're experiencing or something that you're struggling with, but you're separate from it.

Because once you can say, oh, that's heroic individualism, then instead of just being it, it can be something that you're experiencing or something that you're struggling with, but you're separate from it.

And therefore you can see it more clearly and take wiser action as a result.

And therefore you can see it more clearly and take wiser action as a result.

Yeah, well, the neutral feeling is important because if you're really charged up, that's going to influence the action that you take.

Yeah, well, the neutral feeling is important because if you're really charged up, that's going to influence the action that you take.

So if you're like in this state of anger or resentment, well,

So if you're like in this state of anger or resentment, well,

you have to let yourself calm down first, because if you're angry, you're gonna give your friend an advice that would say, yeah, go punch her in the face or go punch him in the face.

you have to let yourself calm down first, because if you're angry, you're gonna give your friend an advice that would say, yeah, go punch her in the face or go punch him in the face.

Whereas if you can try to come at it a little bit more mutually, then again, you can be a little bit wiser.

Whereas if you can try to come at it a little bit more mutually, then again, you can be a little bit wiser.

And in the book I write about all these decisions that people end up regretting tend to be like heat of the moment decisions, right?

And in the book I write about all these decisions that people end up regretting tend to be like heat of the moment decisions, right?

The one that is the most commonly discussed is like extramarital affairs.

The one that is the most commonly discussed is like extramarital affairs.