Brené Brown

Like, this is mythologies of comfort.

These are not... This is not how we work as humans.

Not even close.

And...

You know, I mean, this actually takes us back to Greg Popovich.

As a coach, one of my favorite things that he did was when looking at who he wanted on his team, obviously taking talent into account, he said he looked for players who enjoyed other people's success, who were sitting on the bench cheering when their teammates scored.

And in psychology, that's called empathetic joy, right?

And the idea that you could be as excited for somebody else's success as you were for your own is just a core signal that you are interested in being a good teammate.

And I think you could pay just as much attention to, do you hurt when other people are hurting?

I mean, and let me ask you this, because this is an important distinction.

I want us to dig in here.

Do you hurt when other people are hurting?

And is that different than do you show up for other people when they're hurting?

Is it a difference between cognitive and affective empathy?

Yes.

Say more.

Do you have to hurt when other people are hurting or do you have to hold space for other people who are hurting and be with them in their hurt?

I think we're both all in on the latter.

You do not have to feel other people's feelings to care about their feelings.

And sometimes it's easiest to show care for their feelings when you don't feel it personally.