Brenda Dennehy

I had doors smashed around me.

Violence was used to get money, to assert control and to ensure his addiction came first.

That wasn't confusion.

That wasn't illness alone.

That was choice, entitlement and ego.

I want to be very clear.

I don't believe addicts are inherently bad people.

I do believe, however, that addiction does not excuse abuse.

Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway still matters.

Choosing to harm someone to serve an addiction still matters.

What's rarely spoken about is that the behaviour often doesn't end just because someone claims recovery.

To this day, despite being in recovery and in a new relationship, this person continues to try to interfere in my life and preventing me from moving on.

The control, the entitlement and the need to dominate did not magically disappear.

Yet again and again, I've encountered the same response, socially, legally, systematically, but he's an addict.

As though that explanation wipes away accountability, as though the people harmed are expected to carry the consequences quietly and indefinitely.

From my experience and supported by professionals and legal terms I've dealt with, ego plays a massive role.

A refusal to accept consequences.

A belief that their suffering should outweigh everyone else's, including their children's.

Addiction and ego can and often do coexist.

Compassion for addicts matters.