Brené Brown

And if a really good song comes on like Boston or ACDC, I'm gonna crack the window in my car and hold my pen like I'm smoking a cigarette and driving, like for sure.

It was so habitual for me that...

I knew the difference.

And so for folks who have to go into a physical, you know, the physical detox is, sometimes that requires a rock bottom because I don't know that you knowingly, even with a fresh start date, opt in for that, the brutality of that physical experience.

That is rough.

Does that make sense?

One thing I was thinking about that I wanted to talk to you about as I've been reflecting on my sobriety is how...

And this goes back to, I talked about this in the TED Talk on vulnerability in 2010, how when we use alcohol, drugs, gambling, social media, whatever your drug of choice is, when we use substances or processes to numb the darkness, we by default numb the light.

And it's not like we can choose to, hey, I'm going to get rid of all the hard emotions but stay completely open and receptive to the positive emotions.

It doesn't work that way.

And one way that plays out in recovery that I think is really interesting that no one talks about, which is terrible, is if someone –

that you know is in recovery loses their job.

Immediately, people form a tight circle around that person, reach out, go to meetings.

But we know from the research that if someone gets promoted or engaged or something really exciting happens, they're as or more likely to relapse.

Really?

Yes.

Because they're so overwhelmed by the positive emotion that

that they've also been numbing.

And the community doesn't surround that person in that moment because there's not a hard time.

So they're alone in these incredibly excruciatingly vulnerable feelings of joy, optimism, and gratitude, which they also don't have experience feeling.