Brett Cooper

I felt like that survey was just a little bit weird, but still, maybe the feminists saw it and they went, oh no, oh no, we have to do something.

And so The Cut published an article this week titled, The Secret to a Great Marriage Crushes on Other Women.

people.

Now, first of all, I'm like, this is not the time in our culture to release this article because like, have you people learned nothing from the secret wives of Mormon wives sleeping around with other people, opening up your marriage, crushes, I mean, not just the secret wives of Mormon wives, Lindy West, what we talked about a couple of weeks ago, her, her husband, her husband's other wife.

It is a mess and nobody's happy.

Anyway, sorry, had to moving on from that.

that you might see this article, you might think, okay, Brett, this is some clicky headline, they do this all the time.

You might think that maybe the author is talking about the fact that humans will always notice the attractiveness of other humans.

Maybe they are talking about finding a celebrity attractive.

You know, celebrity crushes, whatever it is, no.

No, it is none of those things.

It is having crushes on real people in your real life, like your coworkers, while you are married.

Just listen.

So the author, who was a married woman with children, said this.

She said, at my last job, I had a crush on a coworker named Phil, whose name has been changed so as not to embarrass him, or more importantly, myself, honey.

You are already embarrassing yourself by writing this article.

Phil looks like a swarthier Jake Gyllenhaal and the first time he spoke to me, I remember being genuinely confused as to how this person had ended up in print media since he was too attractive to know what the phrase nut graph meant.

I did not and do not know Phil well.

By the time we stopped working together, we had exchanged maybe 40 words

I'm sorry, this is so weird.