Brett Cooper

She's been married for four years and she has a crush on a New York Times critic whom she's met a few times through friends.

It is harmless and invigorating and reminds you you're alive and kicking and yearning and thinking.

Her husband doesn't mind, as is the case in my relationship, and it serves as fodder for in-couple jokes.

It's harmless and invigorating.

So thinking about being attracted to, fantasizing, that's what having a crush is, fantasizing about somebody who is other than your husband, that's harmless?

No, actually that's very harmful to you and him and your relationship.

Again, there has got to be another way to get you through the 4pm slump.

How you know that you are still invigorated and yearning and thinking is by going on a date with your husband.

Do you want me to pay?

Do you want me to get you a gift card, send you out to a nice Italian restaurant with a little candle in the center and a glass of wine?

I will happily do that if it keeps you from cheating on your husband.

Anyway, she goes on.

She continues to share more and more women in her life that she's met who have various crushes on friends, baristas at the coffee shop that they go to every morning, coworkers.

And then she concludes the article by suggesting that her female readers, women in monogamous, monogamous marriages like herself, have these crushes on rotation like an NBA roster.

And just wait, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but the roster jokes, the sports commentary will come back and will be relevant in the next 10 minutes you will see.

So this is her conclusion.

I call bullshit on all of this.

This will never end well.

It is not harmless.

It is the wrong kind of invigorating.