Brett Cooper

Like, am I...

Am I a bad conservative?

Am I a bad conservative commentator?

Like the only joy that I get out of these types of events these days is looking at the Grindr surge in the area after the events take place to get a good laugh.

But like this time, there weren't even enough people there to have a Grindr surge.

Anyway, moving on from that, just had to throw that in there.

Like I said, I knew that CPAC was some big event, conference.

I have never attended.

I don't think I've ever been invited.

I'm not sure.

I don't remember if I have.

And literally guys, my only experience with CPAC in any capacity whatsoever is that four years ago, one of my best friends, one of my bridesmaids, she attended CPAC.

She went to network for her job.

She ended up having her drink spiked and woke up outside of her hotel, like in the grass outside of her hotel.

Like it is a true story.

horrifying story, but yeah, I never went.

I definitely did not go after that was her experience because again, horrifying.

And then on top of that, until this weekend, I did not know what the acronym stood for.

I did not know that it was put on by a super PAC.

Like genuinely, I was living in the dark.