Brian Redban

I used to be an MMA instructor, and they were students in the class.

I used to be in good shape.

I've gained 35 pounds since I started doing comedy.

Okay.

Shout out.

Mostly eating at night.

And this is a sad thing to do, man.

When you're not on the other side of the microphone, this is a sad place to be a lot of the time.

It was an alcohol DUI.

No, they just pulled me over because it was 11 o'clock on a Saturday in the summertime in Long Beach Island, and it's a beach town.

And I used to joke, you could never arrest me if you wanted to, because I could beat him up, and turns out he could arrest me.

Wow.

He got me.

Did you say anything to him when it was going down?

Yeah, you know, I tried to do my best.

They put their knee on my neck, but you didn't see me complaining.

Wow.

They were scumbags because they were trying to book me as fast as they can because they said we got to get out there and get more people.

They were fucking pieces of shit.

Well, it was just below the legal limit, or just above, rather.