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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network.
This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
hello there everybody we are excited to announce you know we were the first podcast to ever do madison square garden we were the first podcast ever on netflix and we're coming back to netflix as you know and now we are proud to announce we are going back to madison square garden for the third year in a row completely unprecedented the world's greatest arena tickets go on pre-sale special two-day passes available on wednesday morning at
10 a.m. Eastern Time. That's Wednesday, April 8th at 10 a.m. Use the promo code KILL26. KILL26. And you can get special two-day passes or you can get a one-night pass, but you might as well come both nights. You're going to be in New York City. Make a trip to the greatest arena in the world. Support your favorite show on planet Earth and see all
your favorite talents of the future, the past, and the present at Kill Tony live at Madison Square Garden. Tickets go on sale Wednesday, 10 a.m. Don't mess it up.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of To Kill Tony. Get up for Tony Hitchcock! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Yippee! Make some noise for Lorraine right there, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah! Oh my goodness, how exciting. How we fuckin' feelin' tonight, huh?
You're at the number one live podcast in the world, Kill Tony, brought to you by Shopify, Takovas, and ZipRecruiter. Oh my God, it feels good in here.
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Chapter 2: What exciting announcement is made about Madison Square Garden?
How about one more time for the best damn band on the land, everybody? Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, Carlos Sosa, Michael Gonzalez, and Nachos Belgrande. The great Matt Muehling on the electric guitar, John Dees on the keys, and this, believe it or not, live in the flesh is Dee Madness, ladies and gentlemen. Oh my goodness, what an exciting episode we have for you tonight.
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Thanks for listening to Kill Tony. Listen to and follow Kill Tony on Amazon Music or just ask Alexa, play the podcast Kill Tony on Amazon Music. Also with the Amazon Music Unlimited, you can now listen to your favorite music podcasts and audiobooks all in the Amazon Music app. Look, I've worked with some big names, CEOs, founders, Fortune 500 types, and you know what they all have in common?
At some point, they Googled themselves and did not like what they found. Maybe it's a competitor narrative that's taken on a life of its own or A bad quarter of your company that somehow became its whole identity or a leadership story that the press decided to write for you without asking. That's where net reputation comes in. And no, this isn't about hiding anything.
This is about making sure that when the board, your investors, or your next big client search your name, they see the full picture, not just the one paragraph from 2021 that will not die about that time in a comedy club.
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Chapter 3: What unique experiences does Jeff Ross share about his comedy career?
Yeah. Wow. How far did you make it until you realized there was a baby in the back? Halfway around the block. Oh, my God. Was it a dad or a mom? Both. Oh, my God. It was the family, man. Holy shit. Yeah, it was weird. And how did they react? Did you realize before leaving the car or did someone call you?
Oh, yeah. So, no, every now and then somebody leaves something in the car and there's the bike lane. So you got to, like, watch that mirror real heavy, look in the mirror for the bike lane. I just see the parents like, oh, shit.
Yeah.
I'm like, what's going on?
And then you hear the, I'm like, oh, yeah. It's extra crazy because they had to hand you the keys or something, right? Exactly. And you look like the last guy anyone would want to leave their little baby with. Luckily, you guys were dressed the same, so it was perfect. Gosh. Absolutely incredible. Probably wear the same brand diapers, too. Aaron, what do you do for fun? What do I do for fun?
Mainly like hunting, golfing, working on cars, going fast. What do you hunt for?
I've done deer pretty much my whole life because I was born and raised in Michigan. That's pretty much all that's there. Deer, ducks, squirrels, simple shit.
Do you play music or anything? Why do you look like that? I don't have an answer for that. It's just free will. Don't like going to get haircuts. Haven't had it in like six years. I just go for as easy as possible. Like, I hate putting effort. Tell us what else you do in life in which you're going for easy as possible. Easy as possible? You have one ply toilet paper?
Jeff, what were you going to ask? Joke writing.
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Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to personal stories and experiences?
Um... What else? Ladies, titty fucking. Are you in your 30s still doing that? It's like we're playing an accordion, right? A shake weight, right? We're opening a pickle jar. Maybe I'll use my mouth if you're lucky. What else? Getting cummed in the face. That's not a facial, guys. It's not. I know in your time, probably. But what else? Why does it always smell like bleach? I'm waiting.
Nobody's been able to dispel that mystery. But the one thing I know that never changes as I get older is the shame I feel after coming in the shower by myself. My name's been Vanessa Scuduto. Thank you, guys. Appreciate it.
Vanessa Scuduto. Welcome, Vanessa.
What's up?
How long have you been doing stand-up, Vanessa?
I honestly didn't think I'd be doing it this long. So like seven plus years, I don't have an anniversary.
Okay.
Yeah, I know, right?
That's the story of my life.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of using the PayPal app?
Download the PayPal app to get started. An account with PayPal is required to send and receive money. A PayPal balance account is required to hold and use a balance.
Feels like every product claims real protein these days. But real doesn't start on a label. It starts at the source.
Chapter 6: How does Jeff Ross humorously describe his recent experiences?
like real California milk from California farm families. It's real dairy delivering high-quality, complete protein with all nine essential amino acids to help build muscle, give you energy, and keep you satisfied longer. So keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk.
You guys having fun out there?
Chapter 7: What are the comedic insights shared about dating and relationships?
If anybody wants the dried paintbrushes autographed, he's going to the restroom right now. The lucky hallway has a chance. All right, your next bucket bowl goes by the name of Michael Scott, everybody. We're gonna keep it moving with the stylings of Michael Scott. Here he is. I got a Roomba recently. He's black, he cleans my house. It's a sweet deal.
What is the black base model for every object that's supposed to improve our lives? Why is it always black? I gave mine a pair of white gloves and a bow tie. I push clean on him and he goes up and down the halls.
Chapter 8: How does Dedrick Flynn reflect on his life and career in comedy?
Master keep my batteries charged. The other day I hit clean on Toby. Oh, his name is Toby. I couldn't name him Kunta. My mom comes over, I'm like, watch your feet. Kunta's trying to get by. So the other day I hit clean on Toby. He goes towards the end of the hall and he's cleaning and he starts beeping and goes back to recharge his batteries. And I nearly spilt my sweet tea.
I get up and I go, the hell you will. Nobody said you could take a break. So I got up and I watched him clean my house until he died. And when he died, I bought a new one at an auction for three-fifths the price of one of those black ones. Wow, Michael, stop pushing it to the limit of time with an incredibly racist set that only you could do. Only me. Amazing. You can get away with it. Yeah.
Incredible. Remind us all, Michael, how long you been on stand-up? Nine years, four months. Nine years and four months. Amazing. And most of that here in Austin? No. Bakersfield, California, a little bit in Fresno. I moved here December 30th of 23. Okay. Awesome. What do you do for a day job? I got fired from one, but I still have a valet job. You're working valet too?
This is the official show of valet drivers. I've gotten a lot of comics hired, like quite a few. Okay. You called Aaron McPherson earlier. He didn't get up here in time. I got him a job there. But I noticed you called a different Aaron right after, and I thought that was funny. You called a white Aaron. Yeah, I pulled names out of a bucket. Yeah, I know it wasn't you.
And I don't know what happened to them. I didn't actually call them. I hand off the piece of paper, and if they're not where they're supposed to be or whatever, then I have to pull another name. I know. It's not like rocket science or anything crazy. I know there's a lot of conspiracies about this bucket, but it's just pieces of paper. Oh, there's D-Madness, everybody.
Peek-a-loo!
Your Roomba just came back. So, Michael Scott, tell us more about your life. What else is going on? Your Roomba plays a hell of a bass. I got to tell you. It is absolutely incredible. Did somebody tell him I was black backstage and then he came... Oh, I got to make it back for this one.
uh yeah i don't know what's going on in life mike in life uh you have a girlfriend no no when's the last time you went on a date uh let's say three months maybe what happened there not great just uh i mean it was all right you met her online or something like that on a day just had a show just met her uh hung out got messed up and you had drinks yeah and then what you went back to your place yeah and then what happened
The fucker. Oh, wow. What a romantic man. Straight to insertion. Yes. I was already unbuckling as we were driving. Amazing. Amazing. And then you never talked to her again after that?
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