Brian Redban

Here we go.

So, of course, Trump would call an operation that requires massive missiles to deeply penetrate a mountain to destroy a nuclear facility Operation Midnight Hammer, which I don't even feel creative saying it at all because I'm sure me, just like millions of other people, all thought the same thing.

Anyways, the older I get, I feel like the more I'm turning into an old black lady, especially during the wintertime.

I always feel like I need a little Afghan or a little shawl around my shoulder and I'm always saying, Lord have mercy on

For some reason, my cell phone thinks that my nuts stink, and I beat my dog.

I get these little alerts on my phone that says, don't abuse your animal.

There's other ways to discipline it.

And it's because I sing to him and say stupid shit like... Oh, my God.

Holy shit.

Holy shit, Matthew.

Let's check in with Nick Rochefort.

That's one fucking suicidal Pomeranian right there, I'll tell you that much.

That fucking poor dog just walking around.

Not even walking around, probably dying to run away right now.

He's happy you stopped talking.

The dog is the most interesting part of your entire set.

You really just, like, do you practice this, Matthew?

Do you, like, try?

I haven't actually been on stage in about three weeks because I've been busy, like, work working.

What have you been doing for work work?