Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redneck coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get it for Tony! It's Clay! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? And that's the best damn band in all the land. Make some noise for them, huh?
Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, Carlos Sosa, that's tres leches on the horns. You had Michael Gonzalez in the mix, that's Nachos Belgrande. Joining the band tonight, the banjo player from Mumford & Sons, an unbelievable artist, Winston Marshall, ladies and gentlemen. Huge part of the Kill Tony family. We know him. We love him. The homie. Big swish for Matt Muehling on the electric guitar.
John Dees on the keys. And believe it or not, that man sitting right there, that's not Adam Ray. That's D Madness live in the flesh, everybody. The back bump. The eyes and ears of the band. What an episode we have for you. This is indeed the number one live podcast in the world, brought to you by Shopify, Talkspace, and ZipRecruiter. This is Kill Tony.
And here is a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that make the whole thing possible. Hello there, everyone. This podcast is sponsored by Saley. Whether you're hitting the road for a comedy tour or just trying to escape the country for a vacation, getting off a long flight and realizing your phone doesn't have internet is an absolute nightmare. That's where Saley comes in. Red band.
Tony, I love Saley. Think of it as your new travel buddy. It's a super simple eSIM app that keeps you connected in over 200 places around the world. And if you don't know what an eSIM is, it's just a digital SIM card. That means no more swapping out those tiny plastic cards, no more waiting in line at the airport, no more getting scammed by weird kiosks outside the train station.
You just download the Saley app once, pick an affordable data plan, and you're instantly connected. Say goodbye to those insane expensive roaming fees. Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saley data plans when you use code KILLTONY at checkout. Download the Saley app or go to saley.com slash killtony.
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Chapter 2: What are the sponsors mentioned in this episode?
There you go. Very exciting. Send it along. We go wrangle that person. And while we wrangle the first comedian, we're gonna have one of our great regulars do a brand new set. Sometimes this guy does over a minute. He never calls out sick. He never misses a set. You're watching one of the great comedians of the future grow in front of your very eyes.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a guy that was once known as the Dark Storm of Atlanta. He's now known as the Dark Storm of Austin, Texas. This is a brand new set from the great Dedrick Flynn, everybody.
Guys, what happened to silly people? Like, everybody in this country just want to be upset or the saddest or the maddest, and I just want to be silly. And uncross your arms, niggas. Silly up. You see what I'm talking about? Why are you judging? You ain't come here to have a good time. You laughing through YouTube.
What happened to the silly laughs that used to... We used to have goofy-ass laughs at comedy. Niggas be like... Y'all don't even do that no more. Do y'all remember silly Jews? Do y'all remember when Jews were the silliest people in America? Larry David and Seinfeld and Sarah Silverman's fine ass. Y'all remember that?
Just fucking Ari went into the wilderness for a year because he couldn't be silly anymore. And we just need to just let that out. I don't know why. It's because I just wanted to say that so I could do this silly joke real fast that I wrote down. Uh, just to get y'all out of the mindset, dating your ex is a lot like reheating french fries. All right, I'm gonna do the next one.
Sir, you ever been hit with the rocket ship effect?
The rocket ship effect. You know what that is? That's when you see somebody that's attractive and they walk up towards you and you're like, oh, that's a 10, 9, 8, 7.
All right, y'all, that's my time. I love y'all. He's done it again. One minute, 22 seconds from Dedrick Flynn. Very funny. I love it. Hell yeah, Luis J. Gomez. Dedrick, always so funny. You're fucking hilarious, but you are dressed like a bumper sticker on a pickup truck in Texas. USA. Very patriotic. I just got here from Nigeria and was trying to pretend he's a pickup truck. I love the Yankees.
I hate your hat. Welcome, Dedrick. You got a little rabbit's foot over there?
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Chapter 3: Who are the guests joining the show tonight?
Then it would still be around and real today, right?
But I'm a little suspicious, you know? I think, like, Greenland is an iceberg. Turkey, it's full of cats. And then whenever the immigrants come to the border, Hungary is like, sorry, we're full. but it was easy growing up with immigrant parents. Actually, they were clever, you know? They knew enough kids at school were calling me a fat retard.
Why would they pay money for me to hear that from a professional? I used to be fat, but still stupid, so the school system's broken, but fat shaming works.
All right, Tom Frank. How you doing, Tom? It's a good day to be alive. All right.
Is it, though?
With you guys? Yeah. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Longer than I should be. Want to answer the question? Yeah, like six years on and off. Okay. Six years. And why do you look like an old-timey explorer? You look like you'd be standing at the front of a ship ready to take over some African country or something like that. I just got back from a festival, you know?
What was the festival? Peak State. You know Brent Pella? Nope. Oh, yeah? What's that festival? He made a movie at a festival about a festival. It's pretty cool. Doesn't sound cool at all. How many people go to this festival? Like 500.
Wow.
That's pretty big. Is there music? What goes on at the festival?
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Chapter 4: How does the show format work for the comedians?
That's pretty crazy, right? To think that fucking your boys makes you fight better. How did they find that out? And how embarrassing was it when they realized there's like no correlation between anal with the boys being better soldiers? That's just gay, I don't know. All right, Chris Gerasimo, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome. Welcome, Chris. Good set. You got your cheap Tony is gay joke in there.
No, it was fine. Made Louis laugh really hard, this giant fucking seven-year-old retard. for no reason whatsoever. It's a loophole in the show, according to you guys, where you just go, hey, Tony loves anal, and everybody laughs. So fun. How exciting. Instead of it being a real show about stand-up comedy, there's just a blatant loophole, and you just let people get away with it.
You loved it, too. I saw your Adam's apple get three sizes bigger with it. You fucking freak. Welcome, Chris. How are you? What is Gerasimo? Is that Italian? What is that? It's Greek. Greek. Yeah. All right. It was the whole minute. Yeah. Perfect.
I mean, Tony, why don't you pay attention?
We'll be right back.
No, I don't. He was seething off that gay joke, and he was like.
Yes. Serious. I couldn't hear anything before or after. Tony, your neck looks like you tried to make a meme of yourself in chat GBT. He's Chris, by the way. I'm Tony. Oh, yep. That'll hold the joke back for sure. Chris, it looks like you're always gulping. Chris, how long you been doing stand-up? Three years now. Where at? I'm from Windsor, Canada, but I live in Toronto now.
Ooh, big upgrade there. How's Toronto treating you? It's fun. I got... The Kill Tony boys. You got Jared and Kansai. Yeah. Yep. Those are your homies. You do shows with them a lot? Yeah. You get a lot of Kansai's ramen? Actually, my mom met Kansai because she stayed at my place and he bowed and my immigrant mom said, get up and laughed at him. I thought that was pretty racist, but...
Chris, what do you do for a living? I work for a non-profit that has career days in high schools. So I travel around running career days.
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Chapter 5: What experiences shaped your identity as an immigrant in Texas?
I rode a car and a plane within the first time, within the same week, right? I came to America in Dallas, Texas. I lived in Irving and then now I live in Ulis. I mean, my first job was Whataburger. I feel like I'm a Texan, even though I'm an immigrant, right? I feel like America is land of immigrants, and I feel like I'm very Texan, even though I was born and bred.
This audience hates this. They're like, fuck you, dude. We're building momentum. Lewis refuses to let anything build. He's from the Legion of Skanks, where they interrupt each other every five seconds for no fucking reason. Can I take my jacket off? It doesn't make any sense.
Can I take my jacket off?
You want to take your jacket off? What, are you going to sweat? What are you sweating?
No, I don't sweat. I actually... Tell me you have an OJ tattoo, for the love of God.
No, no, no, no, no. This guy's got a 9-11 tattoo, 100%. Okay, go ahead. Whatever you're doing, go ahead. The arms are less hairy than anybody would have expected.
I have the hair on my chest.
Oh, there it is, yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. Wait, now that you got the jacket off, you're feeling yourself a bit, do the knock-knock joke again. Could I? Can I just come back out?
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Chapter 6: How do your parents feel about your stand-up comedy aspirations?
We cut this. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. All right, Sir John. So you said your first job was at Whataburger. What exactly is your job now? I work as a solutions architect for an IT company. So I just help customers find solutions to technical problems. Yes. Ari Shafir.
That's such a build-up from Whataburger to that.
I mean, I've had a lot of jobs. Like, I always worked. I grew up, like, you know, wanting money. So I always worked.
And I started my way up. And, you know, I mean, hopefully one day I can be a worker. I can work here.
Where exactly? Like, right here. You want to fix the neons or something? What are you pointing at?
I can find a solution for that, too, if you need. But I want to be on this stage. I've never done comedy in front of this many people. It's amazing. Good for you, dude. That's awesome. You're doing it. And I came today.
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Chapter 7: What challenges have you faced while pursuing comedy?
I signed up. This is my 15th time signing up. I signed up once a month, every month, last year. And I kind of, like, stopped coming this year. But it was 420 on a Monday. I was like, my driver license has a 420 on it. I got to come.
What has a 420 on it?
My driver license starts with 420 and ends with 69. So I think I'm born to be a comedian. I swear to God, I'll bring it out. I swear to all my Hindu gods, I'll bring it out. Yeah.
I like your style, man. You're so genuine, and you're kind of like a sweet boy. It's incredible. I am. Right? It's like, you know, I'm just happy to have the opportunity. I started at a Whataburger, worked my way up. I took a car and a train or whatever to get here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's kind of like you, Tony, if he's brown but had no confidence.
Yeah.
Amazing. Sir John, what's your love life like? Do your parents only allow you to date Nepalese girls?
They did.
Who have you been promised to?
They thought they wanted that, and then, I mean, I started dating this girl in high school, my girlfriend, high school sweetheart.
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Chapter 8: How did your family react to your comedic journey?
We've been dating for eight years. Wow. So we've been still together, and my parents love her more than me, probably. It's a white girl?
No, she's Indian. So, like, I just went south of the border. I was, like, close enough. That's as close as it'll get up in Dallas.
Yeah, I mean, Nepali girls are probably all my cousins anyways. I was like, let me get a little bit less incest going, you know?
Yeah, amazing. I want to know what that sex smells like.
It smells great.
Nepali is an Indian sex. Oh, my God, I can't even imagine. If you want to join us, like, yeah. Now, what are your... What are your... Good job, Red Band. Very good. That was good. That is correct. What do your parents think about you doing stand-up comedy?
They were iffy about it, and they were like, I mean, you have a good job. Why are you going out Wednesday at 10 p.m. to go do an open mic? But, I mean, they support it. They think it's like a, they don't really understand what it is, and they don't understand what I really want, like this dream that I have, but one day they'll understand. And I'll show them.
But in the beginning, it was rough, and now you're... Even still today, my mom's like, why are you driving through? I live in Dallas. I drove here. She's like, why are you driving in the rain? But, I mean, now she's going to see. In three weeks, I'm going to be on Kill Tony.
She's going to see. You're so deep into it. So deep is also the name of your brother. My brother's name is Nurgin. And he's actually... My brother's name is Nurgin. I'm surgeon. He's Lurgin, and you're surgeon? Nurgin. What is your mom, Dr. Seuss?
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