Brianna Gomez
Appearances
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
If you were to add up the countless minutes and hours and moments that you've wasted overthinking, having anxiety, worrying about the things that you can't control, think of how much of your life and your time and your energy you have wasted in today. I hereby claim that you are letting this go, that we do not identify as that kind of person anymore.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
obsessing over how cool it's going to be planning your red carpet looks when you haven't even auditioned for a movie yet. You know what I mean?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And so this happens to me all the time when I go to events or when I want things a certain way, there's something I've been looking forward to, I'm hosting something and I had a certain idea of how I wanted it to go and then it doesn't go my way and now I'm panicking. Now I'm anxious, now I'm totally overwhelmed and
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And my boyfriend was kind of laughing at me the other day and he's like, girls are so funny because you guys like to put yourselves in these situations where, and he said this like with all love, we were just kind of laughing about it, but he was saying that we like to put ourselves in these situations where we are totally overstimulated, we're totally overworked, we're totally overwhelmed, but it's like we wanted it that way.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And he was using the example of how a lot of girls cry on their birthdays and he's kind of like, why is that? And it's funny because it's true because on my birthday, I plan out everything.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I've been looking forward to it I've been thinking about it obsessing over it forever and then it comes and it doesn't go the way I wanted it and I'm so bummed out and every girl cries on her birthday which shouldn't be the case it should be enjoyable and it should be fun and it should be about you and you being happy but instead most of us are like distraught on our birthdays because something didn't go according to plan and we want it to be perfect and we hold on to this idea of perfect and wanting things to be a perfect way and then it doesn't happen and
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And we totally lost it. And I am going to dive all into how to release control and how to detach. But I just want to reel it in for a second. There is a difference between analyzing and over analyzing. There's a difference between being ready and stalling. And there is a difference between thinking and overthinking. And it might be a very fine line, but just do yourself a favor.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
When you are having a moment of distress or overthinking, ask yourself, which one are you doing? Are you thinking or are you overthinking? and learn how to discern the two. Overthinking is quite literally like a flame. And when you have an idea in your head, that's the spark.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
They don't recognize that because now I have this platform and this podcast where all I do is talk and yap to a bunch of people I just met on the internet, but we're all just best friends. So we're actually not strangers. This is a safe space. This is a community that we have built and I'm so happy you're here. I asked you guys what episodes you wanted to hear in the number one podcast.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And this spark, it can either turn into a light, it can be a bright idea, a light bulb, a candle that's lighting the room, or it can literally burn your house down.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
okay and you need to learn how to contain it keep it as a light keep it as something good keep it as an idea but when we add a little too much fuel to the fire suddenly the buildings burning down and it's too far gone and there's nothing you can do to contain it again and it's like a wildfire and spreading everywhere that is how anxious thoughts are for a lot of us right you just kind of do that snowball effect once it starts going a little too far
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
It keeps rolling and piling up and you can't catch up and it just keeps doing that snowball effect because what us overthinkers love to do is shove it under the rug. We love to shove it under the rug when we are feeling anxious about something. We might have social anxiety, for example, right? You go out in public, you're shaking, your palms are sweaty, you can't speak or whatever.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
It makes you super anxious, does not feel good. And instead of coming home and And addressing that within ourselves, trying to heal it, trying to kind of reflect and ask ourselves, you know, what was that? Or how can I heal from that? How can I make it better? How can I make that stop? We just accept, you know, I just have social anxiety. That's just the way I am.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And we shove it under the rug and we save it as a later problem. And the next time we step out, the anxiety feels even worse. Or when we're worried about something, instead of talking about it, some of us like to kind of brush it away, shrug it off, and then it just piles up. Because we keep building on top of that.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Because instead of working through our anxieties, this generation, we love to distract ourselves. Instead of going home and journaling or meditating or seeing a therapist, you go home and you lay in bed and you scroll through TikTok or you turn on your favorite Netflix show, you enter another world and you're with these characters instead of focusing on what's in your life right now.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And I don't mean to be rude, right? Because there's nothing wrong with a little TV or TikTok to get your mind off of it. But when it comes to the point where you are literally ignoring the signals of anxiety that your body and mind is sending to you and you're just distracting yourselves with external factors instead of working on yourself, that's when we have some issues to address.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
That's when we know you are so anxious and scared of your anxious and scaredness that you're not addressing it within yourself, but the only way out is through, okay? I feel like we think that if we just keep pushing anxiety away, not talking about it, not addressing it with ourselves, that it will just be something that we learn to live with, which is sadly the case for some people.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
But again, I need you to know that this is not the reality you have to live in. And a reason why anxiety and overthinking is so unbelievably common these days is one, social media and internet technology in general plays such a huge role. Think of how much stressful and totally alarming information we take in on a daily basis.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Within 90 seconds, you can have seen the scariest news, some world disaster, some natural disaster, some crazy thing that stresses you out, something to make you paranoid. You can see all of these things within a 60 second span because we just have that short form content available at our fingertips. Now you're stressed out. Now you're anxious.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
winner which honestly breaks my heart was a topic suggestion that was how to deal with overthinking anxiety etc and that really resonates with me so i do have a lot to say about that and i know we live in a world where that is so chronic
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Even if you're not consuming negative media, just all of this information you're consuming, the average human intakes about 74 gigabytes of data to our brains a day.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
and then it's just piling up and it's literally like cognitive overload because we're taking in all this information on top of the worries and the stressors that you are already having in your life now we have all this additional information adding on to it then you add on the distraction so your mind is completely full and you're also trying to distract it so instead of working through the problem you're kind of just adding on to the problem or taking away from the solving of the problem
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
We went on a bit of a tangent there, but needless to say, you have to work through it instead of run away from it. And I know it's scary and although it might seem obvious that the clear answer, the right thing to do is to work through your anxieties and to address them.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
But the easier thing for many people to do is to let it build up, to just learn how to live with this crippling anxiety and crippling overthinking because it's easier than saying something. it's easier than addressing it and putting in the work and exposing yourself to the things that you're afraid of.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
But just so long as you keep running from the things that you cannot control, the things that you are afraid of, the longer that it will have a grip around you for the rest of your life. Whatever it is that makes you anxious, you can try your best to run from it and hide from it and avoid it for the rest of your life. That does not mean it's going to go away.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
It doesn't truly get better until you address it and face it and look inwardly and fix it within yourself. But when something makes us anxious, our mind is essentially feeding us these lies that we're not good enough, that we're not strong enough to overcome it, that the worst thing in the world is going to happen, right? We instantly assume the worst.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And then that signals to our body, that's when your throat closes up, you can't breathe, your palms get sweaty, however it is your body reacts, and that tells our body that we are not good enough, that we are not strong enough. But again, you can hide and avoid it all you want. that will not make it go away. The only way out is through. Think of a scary cliche movie, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
There's a monster somewhere in the movie and is the movie from start to end the main character hiding in a corner from the monster not doing anything about it? There would be no movie, girl. The movie is when there's that turning point where they become strong enough to get the upper hand and they go and confront this monster with the newfound bravery and they slaughter it, whatever, and they win.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
The monster has to be killed. The monster cannot live within you for the rest of your life. In order to win this battle, you have to come face to face from it. You can't keep hiding from it. And if anxiety and overthinking is our monster, you have to come face to face with it in order to defeat it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
people on an everyday basis who we would never even guess they deal with chronic anxiety, chronic overthinking, chronic stress, and we have no idea because it's something that's become so normalized in this world. It's become so normal to be like, oh, I have anxiety, I have stress, I'm overthinking, let's just deal with it. Let's just move on, not even mention it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You cannot keep hiding in a corner because if you're hiding in a corner, curled up in the ball, the monster, the anxiety, the overthinking has already won. You have to take control back over your life. So now that our perspectives in check, Let's talk about what we are going to do starting today to fix this. Number one thing I will always recommend is having an outlet, you guys.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And I don't mean a distraction, okay? Distractions are just temporary fixes. So like I was saying, watching TV, TikTok, that might be a temporary thing to maybe calm you down or distract you during an anxiety attack and do what you have to do to get yourself grounded, get yourself back to earth. But in the long run, are those things going to heal you?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Now, the reason having an outlet is so crucial is because like I said, we are taking in all of this information, this cognitive overload every single day and we have no output. It's entering our mind on top of all these other anxious thoughts and intrusive thoughts and it's going nowhere. So what you need to do, number one thing I will always recommend is brain dump.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Whatever is stressing you out, whatever is literally eating you alive, write it all on paper. And I know you might think that might make it worse, like bring more attention to it. But we have all of this junk building up in our brains. You have to let it out somewhere. So on a piece of physical paper, write down everything that is on your mind. And this is different for everybody.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
For some people, it might be a list of all the things they're afraid of, all the people who they think
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
are not going to like them whatever that may be or for other people it could be a list of things that they have to do they have to get done that's just eating them alive it can be so different for so many different people there's not a right or wrong way to do this but right set a three minute timer if you don't think anything is going to come of it just give me three minutes of your time look at the paper and just write and you will be surprised how the pen just starts flowing okay
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Write it down in something. If you want to take it even a level further, rip the paper after you are done because whatever you wrote on that paper, it does not define you. But it's just helpful to get it all out of your mind and empty it out. It's literally a brain dump. Like think of it as taking the trash out or I don't know. peeing after you just drank a lot of water.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You just need to let it out of your system. The reasons why temporary solutions are not good is because yes, it may distract you and make you happy in the moment, but then the second you're faced with an interaction or situation that triggers your body, that triggers your anxiety, what are you gonna do?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You're gonna react the exact same way that you did last time because you did not grow from it, you did not learn from it, and you didn't put in the work to heal or address the situation within yourself. So having a mental outlet is huge. I will always recommend journaling, even if it's not just the brain dump, but just writing out whatever thoughts you're having. Get a journal. I don't care.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Journal. Literally do not care. If you struggle with journaling, there's a five minute journal, but I literally love just like pen to paper. Whatever comes out, just give it a try. I promise. And when we think anxiety, we often think our minds, but you have to remember that your body reacts to anxiety as well. And you can actually channel your anxious energy into other physical activities.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And today, I am here to tell you, one, it's okay that you have this anxiety and this overthinking, but also there is a reality where that's not the case.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
That's why people love the gym. It's literally their therapy. And I'm not saying to replace therapy with the gym, but it can be therapeutic for your body. And it's a great way to channel all the negative energy that you're feeling in this physical
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
anxiety that you're harboring into physical exertion because when i'm anxious at least i feel really overstimulated i feel like i have a lot of energy and i just need to let it out kind of like the jitters but in a really bad way and so if i work out or if i dance or if i go on a run or a walk whatever feels the best for you that's a great way to exert some of that negative energy out and especially if you struggle with the type of anxiety where maybe
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You can't sleep at night, right? You can't focus or think straight. Channeling your energy into a physical activity can really help your body kind of learn a new pattern. So instead of when you're anxious, biting your nails or drinking alcohol, whatever the short-term fix is for you, try replacing it with going on a walk, going on a run. Dancing doing jumping jacks.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
It's really silly, but I promise it will work and I know you might be rolling your eyes But give it a try Maybe you haven't found the thing that works for you But if I'm having super bad anxiety and I can't stop overthinking and I just like go on a nice little nature walk Get some fresh air be by myself It's honestly so helpful and that brings me to another tip which is practicing solitude. I
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Some people, for the life of them, cannot be alone. They literally cannot be alone with their thoughts. I'm going to need you to practice that, baby. I'm going to need you to practice because it's so important. And that's where a lot of anxiety stems from is honestly just not being able to sit alone with your thoughts. It's something that we all have to learn how to do.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
There is a world that you can live in where you are not held by the constraints of your anxiety and your overthinking and you are actually free and you are actually detached and you actually can go with the flow of things because you are not living at the mercy of this anxiety and overthinking.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And solitude is not the same as being lonely, right? Solitude is practicing intentional time with yourself, whether that's journaling, whether that's going on a walk and just listening to nothing, but kind of just your own thoughts, talking it through in your brain. It can be meditation. It can be yoga. It can be just like literally lay down on your bed, sit down, close your eyes.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
and be alone with yourself the practice of solitude is so underestimated but so powerful and so healing and i want to emphasize do not be afraid to be a burden to other people okay your thoughts your mental well-being is never ever ever a burden so please please please confide in your loved ones
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Confide in your friends and your family, maybe a teacher or a counselor, a co-worker, literally anybody. Be open and honest with people because you'd be surprised how many people are going through the exact same thing, okay? So I just want to be an advocate for that. talking to people about what you're going through, being open and honest. You are never alone.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You can always message me if you're going through something. I have a community also if you want to be a part of the hot and unbothered community. We can all reach out to each other on there. I have a group chat on my Instagram. We can talk, be there for each other. You are never truly alone, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
So be afraid to lean on other people, to open your heart out to others, to ask for help because sometimes just talking to a friend for a while or ranting, working through it together is so so powerful and so healing, but also I want you to know that it is still at the same time important to practice solitude.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I know a lot of people who will talk to others about their problems, but they don't really sit with it and kind of work it through with themselves. You know, they'll analyze the situation with other people, talk it out with others, but then when it comes to that alone time, they just can't do it. So I want you to know that the two are equally important.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Even if you do have external support, it's important to be able to look inside of yourself and kind of set anxiety, figure out where it's coming from and assess what you need to do about it. And I guess I should have said at the beginning, but what does trigger your anxiety? Ask yourself. Is it public speaking? Is it relationship anxiety?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I'd say, transparently, that as of lately, like within the last two years, I struggled with relationship anxiety pretty badly. And that stems from something that I went through years ago in my toxic relationship, but kind of just carried over. Also, identifying where you think this anxiety came from. Working through a therapist is very, very helpful. I highly recommend it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I'm going to dive into everything today, what overthinking is, where it stems from, how we can deal with these anxieties, how we're going to heal and show up as our best, most confident selves every single day. But before we dive into today's episode, you guys know I love to share a podcast review. I received a hot and unbothered testimony from some lovely girl named Anastasia.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
But most things that we go through stem from somewhere. Other things, they may not. Maybe this is just something that you were born with. Either way, it doesn't have to be your truth. But I want you to figure out what triggers your anxiety or your overthinking. What do you find yourself overthinking the most about? So for me, I get anxious or I overthink without reassurance.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Yes, I can ask for reassurance from the people around me and they know that, but there's other times where I'm just being totally, impractically anxious. Nothing happened for me to be anxious over, yet I'm just suddenly flip switch and I'm anxious. There's something that I need you all to practice and that is called self-soothing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And I have every intention of doing a anxious attachment style or overall attachment styles of relationships episode, if you guys wanna hear that, but self-soothing can work in every regard actually. So when you're feeling anxious, sometimes we don't always have someone to calm us down. So we can't use that as our only thing that we rely on.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
If you have a friend or somebody who knows how to calm you down, but you can't expect them to always be available for you at every single second. So you have to learn how to self-soothe, which is essentially learning how to calm your anxieties, calm your body's signals down on your own. And there's a lot of different ways of self-soothing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Basically for me, it's like checking in with myself and talking to myself and being like, okay, what happened to make me feel this way? Say I'm being anxious and overthinking. Let's check in with ourselves, okay? Because did anything happen or go wrong that could possibly make him mad at me or make him hate me? No. Has he given me any reason to think that that might be the case? No.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Have I done anything to make that the case? No. So why am I overthinking? But if you're having a more physical anxious reaction that you need to self-soothe, breathwork is a huge one. There's a 3-4-5 rule of breathwork. But there's so many different amazing breathwork patterns to practice. But it's you breathe in for 3...
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
hold for four and then exhale for five seconds and then you repeat and that kind of just helps your nervous system help get your breathing regulated help calm you down and just take a second but again this could be anything journaling walking having a warm cup of tea it can be stretching meditating praying, making more lists, making more brain dumps, whatever works for you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
But learning how to self-soothe is such a powerful skill because it really teaches you that, okay, I do not need anyone else to calm me down. I can self-regulate and figure this out within myself.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
and just becoming more self-aware of yourself, what triggers your anxiety, and what works for you when it comes to de-escalating these situations in such a great way to take back the reins of your life, take your power back, and get a grip on your anxiety.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And while communication with others is so huge and so crucial, it's equally as crucial, if not more, to have this communication within yourself, that self-check-in, that self-soothing. It really does wonders, and I'm going to dive into... Something I like to call exposure therapy, and it doesn't have to be crazy, but ask yourself, what are you anxious of? What are you afraid of?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
She's a 12-year-old gymnast who has suffered from depression and mental blocks. She said she was constantly being excluded from all the kids at her school and had nearly no friends. Her weekly highlights include watching Hot and Unbothered, taking notes from the podcast, and listening, and she's so grateful that words can't even describe it. She said,
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
What do you overthink about? And if it's something such as talking to people, right? You have really bad social anxiety. Your homework is to go out into the world and be the most opposite of social anxiety person you've ever met. Social anxiety is now officially afraid of you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And you like to say hi to all the different people in the world, compliment that girl's skirt who you like, who wasn't even looking your direction. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
We are going to release control and we are going to free ourselves from this prison of anxiety, overthinking and stress. If you have or are currently struggling with anxiety or overthinking today is the day that all of that changes. So if you are with me and you want to learn how to level up your life and unlock the hottest, highest and healthiest version of yourself, this is the podcast for you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
She watched it and immediately rated the podcast five stars. She said, one month later, I got out of my depression by herself without any help except for the fact that it wasn't really me. It was you. You helped me find my worth and get rid of all my toxic friends. I sent them a paragraph about how toxic they were, left the group chat and blocked them for good.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
For the next month or so, I felt like I had no friends, but thanks to you again, I now have a handful of true friends. I love you so much. You are like the older sister I never had and the magical goddess. Thanks to you, I'm finally myself again and I know my worth better than anyone else. I now truly love myself and it's all thanks to you in the best way possible.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That is so, so healing. So personally for me, like diving more into my faith has helped me so much with anxiety. My relationship anxiety has gotten so much better. And I just know now when I'm faced with any issue or anything I'm afraid of, I can ask for help and use my faith to kind of go through that.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Thank you again and again for making this podcast a reality. You've inspired me to write my own book about my personal experience with depression, which is...
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
i'm so proud of you girl i literally cannot thank you enough and i'm so proud of you for identifying your situation realizing that you deserve better and learning how to get out of it using the hot and unbothered methods i am so so proud of you and i have a whole episode on fake friends which i think is the one that anastasia is referring to but that just means the absolute world to me seeing you guys make these changes and implement these lessons from my episodes
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And I don't talk a lot about my faith on here just because there's a lot I'm still learning. But I would love to one day, if you guys are interested, dive into that. But I just want to wrap it up by saying you are in control of your own life. You decide who you want to be and stop giving your life away to the hands of anxiety and overthinking and I believe in you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You don't have to be the same person you were yesterday. You are brand new today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did,
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
please rate it five stars and don't forget to leave a podcast review to be featured in next week's episode don't forget to follow me on socials at brianna gomez with two b's that's where you can join our hot and unbothered group chat on instagram i'm also on tiktok snapchat you name it uh follow the podcast at hot unbothered on instagram and tiktok i love you guys so so much and i will see you next free day bye
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I just want to add that I do know that there are some forms of anxiety that might feel unbeatable or like you are alone or you really need some help. Please, please, please do not be afraid to reach out to a therapist or a doctor, some sort of professional. I am no professional and I know that it's not that easy to just snap your fingers and have your anxiety instantly healed.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
But these are just some things that helped me and I hope can help you if not completely heal it, just make it a little bit easier. But again, please reach out to a professional if it is getting to a point where you feel like you really need help. Um, yeah, I love you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
into your daily life because you do truly deserve a life that is fruitful and a life that is full of relationships and people that fuel you instead of drain you so I'm so so proud of you and I love you don't forget to rate the podcast five stars by the way before we dive in because you guys it was just number We reached number eight trending in the U.S.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
education podcast, but it's in all other countries, so we can hit the charts in all countries, you guys. It was so cool seeing it climb up to eight, and I know that we can make top five if we try, so feel free to interact with the podcast. Share it with someone you love because today this applies to anyone.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
If you know anyone who struggles with anxiety or overthinking or worrying, there are so many people in this world that need to hear this message because it has gotten out of control. Without further ado, Let's dive in.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
So I first want you guys to know whatever past truths that you have about yourself, whatever skewed perceptions you have that are limiting you from becoming the person you want to be. Maybe it's that you're too shy, you're too nervous, you're too timid. Throw it out the window. These self-limiting beliefs, I need you to take them and throw them out the window because today that is not true.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
These things are not going to define you. You are brand new every single day and in this moment, you can be whoever you want to be. So when I'm saying these things to you and I'm telling you to, you know, how we're going to fix our anxieties, how we're going to stop overthinking. I need you to stop being like, no, I can't do that. That's not me.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I need you to enter this episode with an open mind, okay? And I just pray that for you. And I hope that you can see this from a new lens because whoever you were five seconds ago before you started this episode, you can be brand new right now. So these past truths, these self-limiting beliefs, they do not define you. You are brand new in this moment. And that's the number one step
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
to becoming a non-overthinker is deciding that you don't have to be the same person. You don't have to be that anxious girl. You don't have to be that shy girl. How do you think I'm sitting here talking to you on your screen? It's because I decided I wasn't going to be shy anymore.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I wasn't going to be afraid because if I want to accomplish these things and these dreams and goals I have for myself, I can't be the same person I was yesterday. I don't have to be the shy, crippling anxiety girl whose hands would sweat and who would get choked up and her voice would shake when she had a talk in front of a small group of people.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
welcome to today's episode of hot and unbothered
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Now I can be this girl who wants to share her message and her growth journey with the world and see other girls grow and now I can talk to millions of people because I have a purpose and I have a reason and I am not the same person I was back then with the anxiety and this would never happen. I would not be here speaking to you
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
if i let myself limiting beliefs define me so whatever you don't like about yourself whatever you are afraid of that does not have to be true starting right now so that's step one is choose your identity every day we have the choice of who we want to show up as and that is such a beautiful gift that we get and oftentimes as humans we feel like we are put in this cage and in this cage roams our anxieties
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
and our fears and our worries and our anxious thoughts, but you don't realize that the door to this cage is unlocked the whole time. You spend your whole life living in this cage surrounded in these treacherous waters with scary anxious thoughts and overthinking and intrusive thoughts that you don't even realize that the whole time you can just turn the door and walk through it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You were just assuming that it was locked. You were just assuming that there was no way out. When the whole time you hold the key, all you have to do is be brave enough to step out of it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Be brave enough to step out of this box because you've been living with these lies your whole life, these anxious thoughts that you keep feeding yourself, that you were too timid to even see the life that's outside of it. So that's the perspective I need you to have, is that the sky is truly the limit.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
You might think that you are stuck in this box, but there's a door and a way out the whole entire time. You just have to have the courage, to step outside of it, to step into a different reality, and to enter a world where these anxieties and fears do not exist. Now, when it comes to overthinking, let's define what overthinking really is, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Because there's so many types of thinking, so many thoughts we have on an everyday basis, and what are the differences between overthinking and regular thinking? There's such a fine line, right? So in a lot of ways, overthinking can be the amount of time that you let yourself think about something. So there's thinking about something, then there's obsessing over it, worrying about it, fearing it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
hello beautiful people and welcome back to my podcast if you're new here my name is brianna gomez and i am your host of hot and unbothered the ultimate podcast for leveling up our lives for identifying our dream ideal versions of ourselves and taking out the space in between because we are going to start today to show up in our dream lives you guys and a lot of that starts with mental health.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
There is a big difference. And this can go with so many things. There's such a large scope in which we think of things in life. You know, you can have anxious thoughts about boys. You can have it about public speaking. It can come down to relationship anxiety. It can come down to personal anxiety, social anxiety. There's so many things you can be anxious about. This goes for literally anything.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
The amount of time that you allow yourself to think about something. So for me, the other day, silly example, someone said hi to me and I didn't think they were saying hi to me because I didn't recognize them immediately and I ignored them. And then afterwards, I realized and I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't say hi to him. And I let, you know...
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
10-15 minutes pass and I'm still like oh my gosh I feel so bad like I need to go back and say hi to him and like my friend was like you're still worrying about that you're still hung up about that and I did I let myself feel bad about that when at the end of the day there is nothing I could do to go back in time and fix it right and so I needed to learn you know what let's just let this go for now next time I see him I'll explain why I didn't recognize him why I didn't say hi whatever
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Instead, I was like, oh no, biting my nails. This is such a silly example, but I got that feeling like, oh no. And that's what anxiety can be. It can be over the tiniest, tiniest things that another person may not even understand. It might not even cross their mind. But to me, I am like, oh no.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I feel absolutely terrible and again there was nothing I could have done but I found myself moments and moments later still worried about it and so I kind of just had to reassure myself and be like okay I will take care of it next time I see him I will make sure that I say hi and explain to him why I didn't recognize him I thought he was talking to my boyfriend whatever
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
But then I've had other social interactions where something goes wrong, I embarrass myself, whatever happens, and I am thinking about it days and days later. I should have said this. I should have done this differently. What if they thought XYZ of me? Girl, let it go.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
That's the most important thing is recognizing that we can't go back and change things and you're just going to have to live with it. And I'm going to get into the different tactics of how we are going to release these things. But that's one great example of overthinking is when it literally haunts you days and days and days later.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Something that really helps is to remember that if it won't matter in five years, why spend over five minutes thinking about it? So if something happens and you're getting a little worked up about it and it's becoming an anxious overthinking thought, Let yourself sit with it five minutes, 10 minutes max, and then let it go. Because again, soon this will not matter. It will all blow over.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
So stop wasting your time and energy on things that aren't going to matter in the long run. Another big difference between overthinking and regular thinking is the intention behind it. And what kind of thinking are you really doing? I overthink when it comes to planning, right? I like to plan out every single detail of things, which is important, right? Planning things is necessary.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Say I'm planning a birthday party, okay? Just regular generic example. I'm planning a birthday party. Yeah, I'm going to write out my guests, what I need, maybe make an inspo board, invitations. But then I find myself hyper fixating. Okay, there's planning and then there's hyper fixating.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
I feel like, you know, you can get carried away with the vision boards and the who you want to be, having all the success and the mindset and the morning and night routines, but a lot of it is totally up here in your head. So today I'm going to teach you
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Like I have an idea in my head about something and this has been this way ever since I was a little child from as early as I could remember and it used to be even worse. Like I would write it down. I would write it in my notes when I got my first iPod touch. It was insanely out of control and then I would spend this time hyper fixating and just zoning out
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
and spending hours just envisioning how this thing would go, trying to plan it. I've wasted so much time of my life, quote unquote, planning when I'm really just overthinking. But I tell myself like, no, I'm just planning. I'm just being prepared. I'm just visualizing. It's fine. And I'm like, okay, there's visualizing and then there's hyper fixating.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
There's planning for something and then there's getting really anxious and worried and over planning about it. You know what I mean? And so I think it's really important to know the difference when you are planning something, when you are thinking about something and learn where to draw the line. It's a very thin line, but one needs to be drawn.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
So if you're like me and you get very carried away with overthinking and again, the party planning thing is just an example, but this goes with anything. This goes with trying to predict how a situation is going to go. Maybe a speech. If you have to talk in public, it goes with literally everything.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Hyperfixation is very different from preparation and you need to know the difference between the two, where to draw the line and set that boundary with yourself and be like, okay, wait, I'm overthinking. I'm hyperfixating. Let me take a step back. This is enough. And there's very different types of self-talk.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Another way to analyze whether it's thinking or overthinking is assessing the effectiveness of it. So by this I mean planning. Are you preparing in your head? Maybe you are meditating. You're just, you know, thinking mindfully. And then there is the overthinking which can come in forms of comparison. It can come in forms of obsession, jealousy, depression, negativity, gossip, criticism.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
Those things are not effective. So when you are thinking and you find yourself kind of spiraling on a little trail of overthinking, ask yourself, is this effective? And what is this doing for me? Because if I'm planning my party and I'm like, okay, well preparing, but then if it gets past a certain point where I'm overthinking every single detail and I'm becoming a control freak about it,
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
now i'm obsessing so there's a difference between the two and as women especially at this day and age it's tough to draw that line but i just want you to practice mindful thinking and learn how to kind of check yourself when you find yourself spiraling a bit and be like okay Is this benefiting me? Is it benefiting anyone? Is this effective? Is this intentional?
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
some things that a lot of you probably struggle with and i actually struggled with i literally grew up with crippling anxiety and shyness i was so shy i did not want to speak i had really terrible social anxiety it was pretty gnarly i would say i would have people speak for me and i feel like a lot of people
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And intentionality is one of my big goals for this month and this year in general, because again, I like to focus on the future. I like to anticipate what's to come when life is happening right now, right in front of you. I like to be a planner ever since I was little.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
If there was a day I was excited for, I would plan out meticulously every single little detail down to the minute what I was going to be doing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
And then the actual exciting day would come, but I would be so exhausted from all of that planning aka overthinking that I was doing where I didn't even have the energy or the fuel to be excited or happy or live in the moment because I have been anticipating it and so anxious about it for so long. And that's why I think it's so important to live in the present moment.
Hot and Unbothered
how to stop overthinking NOW: guide to control your mind, manage anxiety, & find internal peace
we often become so carried away with what's to come that we don't look at what's right in front of us and the most important crucial moment of your life is what's happening right now and this goes for everything this can go even for success right because i feel like people who want to be successful they want to make a plan they have this idea okay i want to be a movie star okay and you spend so much time visualizing yourself as a movie star
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
If you started this year out with a laundry list of different goals you wanted to achieve, with different ideas you wanted to accomplish, and you haven't done any of it, you're not alone because now is the perfect time to start. Welcome to the Ultimate Spring Reset Guide.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
For me, for my work goals, I put set boundaries because there's a lot of change going on in my workplace. And yeah, I actually have a real job. I'm not just a podcaster as of right now. I have to learn how to set boundaries and just kind of stand up for myself. And I always end up at jobs picking up more work than I sign on for. So that's something that I'm working on is setting more boundaries.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Anyway, that's a really great way to start each month also is just setting all those different goals and then putting into detail how you're going to do it. It's really about making a game plan and helping yourself feel organized. When I think
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
of resetting it's like I want to reset everything literally everything I need to reset my room my bathroom my car my phone my social media like everything okay it might feel a little bit overwhelming because in all transparency you are not gonna be able to get this done in one day however a tip that I got from my good friend Mel Robbins she doesn't know me at all but one day I
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
We will be on each other's podcasts. You guys have asked me before what other podcasts I listen to and to be transparent, I try my best not to listen to podcasts in my niche. Like podcasts that are comparable to mine, I don't listen to them because I don't want to accidentally start listening.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
adapting ideas from them or feel like i'm trying to repeat like their concepts or anything like that not that i would intentionally copy someone else but i feel like when we ingest information sometimes we just say it again and i don't want to do that so that's why you asked me what podcasts i listen to i try not to listen to podcasts similar to mine in any way which might sound silly but sometimes i
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Just I'm craving a little podcast time every now and then. So if I listen to something, I listen to Mel Robbins sometimes. And I also listen to like sometimes like a Christian or like religious podcast. I like learning new things. But Mel Robbins, I was listening to just a few minutes of a recent episode she had.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Like, I just am so excited for you, honestly. I want to share with you guys all of the best tips to transform your life this spring, and it's just in time for summer, so that way you can walk into summer feeling refreshed, feeling like you have all this weight lifted off your shoulders, because we're not going to leave those problems for the summertime, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
she talks about the power of a brain dump and a brain dump I used to think was just like just writing on paper like things that are wrong just whatever thoughts come to mind but she kind of specified it to a brain dump where you're writing down all the things that are circulating your head that you need to get done which this happens to me literally all the time I'm always like oh no I need to call my grandma oh no I need to clean my room oh
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
oh no, I need to finish that scrapbook for my boyfriend for my anniversary in October, which that's a real one. I literally have it sitting right here haunting me and I haven't put the scrapbook supplies away yet because I've been like, oh, I'm going to finish the scrapbook. It's been almost six months, girl.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Anyway, I have this list of things in my head where it's like, oh my gosh, I need to go donate these clothes, I need to get back to this email response, this text, make plans with this person, visit this family member, and it all just kind of crowds. So what the suggestion is, is that you are going to get a paper and for just like five minutes, three minutes, just write.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
everything that's been bothering you that keeps popping into your head. There are only a few things that I started this brain dump, like thinking, knowing I was going to write, you know? And then by the end of it, I literally have this long list of things that I need to get done. And it's insane.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I have like, make this cover my cords, like my cords so my bunny doesn't eat them, fix my chair, reply to comments, donate PR, organize my trunk, organize my closet drawers, call grandma, you know, all these crazy things. And I feel, I did this this morning by the way, I feel so much lighter because now I feel like I have a clear vision in front of me of all the things that I need to get done.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And I can look at it and realistically be like, okay, obviously I'm not going to get this all done in a day. But now I've cleared some room in my mind to focus on the tasks at hand. And then I can come back to this list and I can cross things off as I do it.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Because of course my goal is to eventually get these things done, but I also don't want them crowding my mind for the next months on end when it's going to be a while until I actually get it done. So I suggest maybe at the end of each week, each weekend, looking at the list and seeing if you can cross one or two things off if you have some free time.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And the best part is you have no deadline on this. So you don't have to waste your time worrying about it because now you have it on paper. Release these thoughts from your head and just cross them off. And it's so amazing. Something I want you guys to focus on when creating your routine is routine versus ritual.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I want you guys to start trying to do rituals or regimens because there's a routine, right? Something that you do every single day by habit. That's a routine. But a regimen or a ritual is an experience. Because remember, we're practicing intentionality. We're practicing being present with ourselves in this moment and doing things that are showing love to ourselves.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And there is nothing more refreshing than instead of just scrubbing off your makeup and slapping on some lotion, you know, like that's not pleasant and enjoyable.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
But if you are really taking the time to use your favorite products, put your spa headband on, massaging the products into your face, you know, really putting on your serums, your face mask, whatever it is that's part of your regimen or your skincare ritual, that is going to make you feel so much more fulfilled. so much more present, so much more refreshed, right?
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I also have my kitten Snuggles here with me, and I think he's going to have to go soon, because I also have my bunny in my room, and I think he's going to try to play with him. Okay, if you can hear my cat purring, literally just ignore it. But before I dive into today's episode, you guys know I love to share a podcast review. Today we have one from Elsie. She said,
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So these little rewirings in your skincare routine, even just replacing a routine with a ritual is so much more satisfying and fulfilling and you will feel like you're doing this act of self-care for yourself. We've reflected and we've planned and we've created our dream routines.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I'm gonna give you guys a breakdown of a few different areas of your life that you want to look into refreshing and again, take it one step at a time. But one thing that I'm gonna tell you
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
that clutter holds energy it's so energetic so any old things that you're hanging on to and I don't mean be wasteful but maybe it's a pile of old clothes and I have old things that I've been hanging on to like Oh skincare products makeup where I hold on to it the other day I I had to throw away a concealer that I had been holding on to since my junior year prom of high school.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
That means I was 16 years old. I am now 22. I don't... Oh my gosh, six-year-old concealer. And I've been keeping it because there was a little bit left at the bottom, and I was like, oh, let me try to get a little bit out with this little tool that I have, and I'll use it so I don't let any drop go to waste. Girl, I have an issue with wasting.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So if you want to learn how to level up your life and unlock the hottest, highest, and healthiest version of yourself, this is the podcast for you. Welcome to today's episode of Hot and Unbothered. Hello beautiful people and welcome back to my podcast.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I don't like to waste a single thing, which I think is a good issue to have, but... That stuff was definitely expired and it was not good and it was not going to make my makeup look good and I was clinging on to it for dear life. Let the old energy go.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Like if you go through your drawers and you replace all your old brushes or you have old expired makeup that you really don't use, I'm not saying you have to throw it away. Obviously, if it's expired and gross, throw it away.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
but maybe you have someone else you can give it to a little sister or you could donate it or something like that I'm sure someone else will want it if it's still good I'm not saying get rid of it if it's in perfect condition but just also looking at what you have because if I reorganize my makeup drawer I see stuff like product and I'm like wait I could actually use that I'll incorporate that in my routine I'll try to use it things like that but
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Number one, makeup and skincare drawer. Go through it. Please wash your makeup brushes. That's a great one, great reset because ask yourself, when was the last time, babes, that you washed your makeup brushes? Replacing old towels, if you have raggedy stained ones, maybe go get new ones. I got ones from Kate Spade that I love, but they're from TJ Maxx.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
They were like nine bucks each, baby pink, so cute. Obviously, changing your sheets, giving that a refresh.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
cleaning your blinds i'm like low-key just making a laundry list of things that i have to do but when it comes to decluttering you guys i want you to listen to the marie kondo method her method in a nutshell is anything that does not spark joy get it out let it go but it's not just like looking at him a distance and being like like that it doesn't really spark joy you know what she wants you to do is take everything out
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Pick it up and hold it in your hand and ask yourself, does this spark joy? And if not, bye. Get rid of it. Obviously, if it's trash, it's trash. But if you can, donate it or sell it. That's great. And she recommends putting everything in a keep, sell, donate, or trash pile. And that's a great way to live. I am in desperate need of a Marie Kondo declutter. Like desperate, desperate.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
But you feel so fresh after doing that if you really have the time. Try on every single thing in your closet. Like, ooh, because you might look at that old pair of jeans and be like, oh, I'll wear them eventually. Like, I like them. But when was the last time you wore them? And if you put them on, you might be like, wait, I do not want to wear these. Ever again.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I've been working on some cleaning videos because I do have a lot of stuff and my room gets pretty messy, especially with creating content. But let me know if you guys would want to see a closet clean out video or an organizing, maybe a spring cleaning video. I don't know. I could do like a triangle, everything in my closet. What do you guys want to see? Let me know.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
But if you want to see that on my YouTube channel, let me know. Another way is to clear out your phone, you guys. Your camera roll, if you're anything like me, is haunting you and you're always getting that out of storage notification, deleting old texts, old screenshots that you're keeping onto because you want to see what your ex said that one day when he was liking that other girl's picture.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Delete it. Delete it. Come on. At the very least, things that don't spark joy, if you can't bring yourself to delete them, put them in my eyes only because I know when you're in Snapchat and you see that flashback memory pop up of your ex, you're cringing inside. If you can't delete it, put it in the hidden my eyes only because we don't want to see that. We don't.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I know these may sound like silly minuscule things, but it's all about clearing that weight off your chest and only keeping room for things that spark joy. On top of the phone detox, on following people on social media that don't spark joy, chef's kiss, one of my favorite things to do. You don't owe anyone a follow or even to keep their contact.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I need to go through my contacts and delete some old numbers because I have numbers from people in like elementary school. I don't think they'll be hitting me up anytime soon. Also,
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
getting a new phone case or even just getting a wipe you guys wiping down your phone case taking off your phone case and wiping down your phone when was the last time that you did that is all i'm saying same thing with like your wallet and your purse those things collect so many germs and if there's one time you're gonna do it do it while you're doing your spring reset because i don't trust you to remember to do it anytime later i don't but make a habit of that because it's a great one
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Changing out your screen protector. I did this the other day. If you start changing out your screen protector frequently, like every few months, at least every season, so you don't have a cracked or shattered phone, if you're anything like me, that's a great one. As well as adjusting your lock screen to something motivational or inspiring. This could be a quote. This could be a mood board.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I'm so grateful for you and you genuinely are so inspirational. I hope you keep making this beautiful series and inspire thousands more. I love you so much from Elsie. Elsie, literally, that is so, so sweet. I am like blown away by your guys' one articulation through these reviews of how much the podcast has affected you and how it's helped you grow that seriously, I'm
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
This could be a collage of all the people who you love, who motivate you and inspire you to keep doing what you're doing every single day. This is totally personal, but I do recommend making your lock screen something just so meaningful to you. Something that you look at and you're like, that sparks joy. This is why I'm doing what I'm doing. I think that's a great one.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And also just switching it up per season because you're so used to looking at your lock screen. You know, mine's the same picture of my boyfriend for however many months. So I like to switch it up. I know if you have iPhone, you can like create multiple lock screens to kind of filter through them. You could make it a
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
bible verse or your favorite quote or a picture of someone who really inspires you now your car i for the most part can see my car but my trunk it's those areas that you don't see that creep up on you because even if you kind of shove everything in a drawer or in your trunk and it's out of the way deep down like you know energetically that stuff is in there and again that's something that's kind of in the back of your mind like god i take care of that
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
rip the band-aid off get it over with and you will feel so much lighter so I'm gonna make that a project for me I have a bunch of clothes that I need to donate in my trunk and I've just been putting it off but it's so bad because anytime anyone opens my trunk or needs to go in my car I'm like Deep clean your car get a little vacuum get it in there.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
You don't even need to get it professionally washed But just go with a wipe get all the little details the cup holder the steering wheel, of course Really organize your glove box your center console little things that will make it so much more Light in there just because you can't see the clutter doesn't mean it's not there and it's not clogging up your good energy Okay
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Also picking a new scent for your car and for your room, for a hand sanitizer, a new candle, a new lotion and perfume for springtime. That's a great one and you feel so refreshed again. And I also want to say something I've tried to work on is not over consuming. Like just because spring doesn't mean you need to buy something new.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
But if you have an assortment of candles and soaps, maybe just switch out your current one. for something a little more floral or bright or summery, you know? You don't have to go buy new things is not what I'm saying. Get rid of your old flowers that are dying, I say as I'm looking at my old dead flowers. Go to the store, pick yourself some new flowers, wash your water bottle.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Guys, there's a lot of different things we need to clean. If you want to see a vlog of spring cleaning and how I do my spring reset, we can definitely do that together because I know you guys have been wanting
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
vlogs on my YouTube channel I do have a long list of little spring cleaning tips and tricks you can do if you need a good deep reset but I promise it's so worth it to get it out of the way get that out of the back of your brain and it will feel so much better and so much lighter and I need to take my own advice so let me know if you want to see a vlog about that and again I just want to remind you guys that whoever you were yesterday last week last month last season you are not the same person you
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
are not forced to show up as that same person today you can be brand new you can be better you are not stuck in your old ways you have the chance to start fresh and again i am so so excited for you if you guys want to keep up with each other or send any requests if you need any advice on anything i have a group chat on my instagram it's our hot and unbothered besties chat you are totally welcome to join i'll have that linked in the description don't forget to follow me at brianna gomez with two b's on instagram tick tock
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
snapchat all the socials and also follow the podcast at hot unbothered on instagram and tiktok i love you guys so so much don't forget to follow the podcast on here so you don't miss future episodes and we will hold each other accountable to unlocking our dream lives and becoming our highest selves i will see you next free day bye
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
blows my mind more than anything the fact that people listen to what i have to say but my hope from the bottom of my heart is that you guys just never forget how deeply each one of you individually mean to me like i would not be here without you guys so you listening to this podcast following the podcast you leaving a comment or a review i would not be here without you even
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Even the silent listeners and supporters, I would not be here without you, and I love you, and I'm so happy you're here, and I genuinely believe there is a reason that you clicked on this episode. So without further ado, let's dive in. A big part of it is perspective, obviously. So I want you guys to imagine...
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
that whatever happened in winter, whatever happened at the beginning of the year, you are not defined by that, okay? And something that I heard that really, really impacted me, honestly, is that even nature does not blossom, does not bloom in all seasons. And in the same way, you and I we are not expected or required to be blooming and blossoming and thriving in all seasons of life.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I know that winter depression is a big one for a lot of us, including myself and the winter uglies. It's just not fun. Winter for a lot of us can be very, very hard. Obviously like a lot of us have the holidays to look forward to, but even some people, the holidays can be a really sad and hurtful time. It's also so hard for me personally to stay motivated during those seasons because
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
It gets dark so much earlier and it's just, you don't have much to look forward to, you know? It's cold and it's rainy and you're forced to stay inside. But I don't want you to let whatever happened during these winter months define you because, like I just said, you are not expected to be at 110% during all seasons. All seasons of life and all weather seasons. Like, you're just not expected to.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
and you don't owe that to anybody. So I want you to kind of give yourself a pat on the back, give yourself a little hug, give yourself some grace because that was a long winter. A lot happened. We went through a lot. So give yourself some grace considering everything that you just went through. It was a long winter this year, you guys, and a lot happened.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Maybe you entered a totally new season of life. Maybe you went through a breakup. Maybe you lost a family member. Maybe you decided to drop that toxic friend or leave that hurtful job. You know, you are here now and wherever you are is exactly where you're supposed to be.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And I know it's really hard to brush things off for some people, myself included, you know, to kind of leave things in the past, to not hold a grudge and to just move on, flip over a new leaf, whatever saying you want to use. But there is so much good in comes from this fresh start and clean slate that we're about to have.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So I just want you guys to remember how beautiful it is and how lucky we are that each day we get the opportunity to start fresh. Every single day. And I just want to affirm you that you do not need to wait for a new month or a new season to start fresh and be brand new because you get that opportunity every single day.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
If you are new here, my name is Brianna Gomez and I am your host of Hot and Unbothered, the ultimate podcast for achieving your dream life, for identifying what your dream life looks like and showing up as the dream ideal version of yourself every single day, you guys. And we are a long ways away into 2025. I know it's only been a few months, but honestly, doesn't January 1st seem like so long ago
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So even if today or tomorrow you drop the ball and you don't keep up with your goals, lucky for you, you have a whole nother day, a whole nother week, a whole nother month ahead of you. So how beautiful is it that you get this opportunity every single day to start fresh? So even if you're not listening to this in the springtime or at the beginning of a new month,
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
You get the chance to start fresh every single day. So I just want to say I'm so excited for you for that. And this might sound blindly optimistic and like weirdly excited of me, but I truly do mean it. Like I'm so excited for you because we are blessed as humans to get the chance to start fresh every single day of our lives. Whatever happened yesterday does not define you.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Whatever happened last month does not define you. What defines you is what you decide to do right now and going forward. If you made a mistake yesterday, that doesn't define you. But what defines you is how you choose to come back from that mistake.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
What are you going to do differently today to benefit your future self, to make a difference in this world, something that your future self will thank you for. And that's the beautiful thing about life is that we could have had the worst day ever yesterday. Wake up and you are reborn again. You get to start brand new. You are forgiven already for whatever you did yesterday.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Maybe you were too lazy yesterday. I'm going to be so honest with you right now. I was supposed to get this podcast episode up yesterday and I had plans to get up and record and have a content day and get it all done and just be productive. I laid in bed the entire day yesterday for probably like eight hours watching the OC.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
on hulu do i regret it absolutely am i so annoyed at myself for doing it absolutely but i'm leaving that because instead of being like i was supposed to do xyz yesterday now i'm just gonna get up and i'm gonna do it today and i'm gonna make up for the last time from yesterday you know what i mean like we spend so much time as humans dwelling on the past would have could have should have but instead why not just get up and do it and brush it off because you're reborn again today so that's just your perspective reminder
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
that with this new season of life and with this new day, you get the opportunity to start fresh, to show up differently than you did yesterday and reframe your focus. So decide for yourself, what are you going to focus on for this season? Something that I really want to focus on is intentionality.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And with that, I mean being so intentional with every single thing that I do, with every word that comes out of my mouth. I'm trying to be so intentional and I want to do a whole podcast episode on this. So I'll just lightly touch on it now. There's been times where I find myself like saying things that I don't truly mean.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
You know, like sometimes you say a negative thought and it's just a negative thought, but you didn't actually like mean it. So that's what my focus is for spring. Just intentionality, but also just starting fresh and being brand new. You are brand new every single day. And I sound so hippie right now, but I'm so excited for you. You are fresh and new and reborn again every single day.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And you get to decide how you're going to show up. How special is that? So special. A huge step when it comes to deciding how you're going to show up and what you're going to do differently this season of life is to reflect. Reflection is a huge one, but it's something that a lot of us want to avoid, I found, which is okay. It's a little scary to rip off that band-aid, but reflection is huge.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So reflecting, I don't mean just being like, hmm, Last month was good. Last week, I could have worked harder. But really, sit down with a journal and a pen and just ask yourself, how was last month or last season or last year for me? What did I like that I did? Because we're not going to be just negative. What did you like that you did last month? Last month, what month was that?
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I was very busy, which could be a good thing. I kept myself booked and busy, made a lot of plans. I feel like I got a lot done. But something that I would have done differently, which is going to be your next column or your next entry, things that you kind of work on, is for me, I wish that I was more present and just intentional with my time and my words, kind of like I was saying.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And also, doesn't January 1st seem like so, so long ago? I don't know. To me, it feels like forever ago. Whatever you did not achieve in the first however many months of this year, that does not define you, okay? I know it's really easy to feel like you're in a slump, to be a little bit ashamed of yourself, to be annoyed with yourself for not showing up for yourself the way that you plan to.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I wish I found the time to just kind of slow down and be like, okay, what's going on? What is happening in my life right now? How am I going to enjoy it? How am I going to make the most of it? Because February and just the beginning of this year absolutely flew by. Like I got stuff done, but also looking back, I'm like, what did I do?
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I off the top of my head could not tell you what I did the past two months. Like I just remember Valentine's Day and then like nothing.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
that's so bad right so that's something i want to work on being more intentional and being more present what else could we work on consistency consistency and tear my body and just really cracking down a routine for myself which i'll get into because that's a huge step in my spring reset but just reflecting overall i feel like when it comes to the spring reset everyone just thinks spring cleaning and getting organized but you really have to start at the root which is your brain and you have to figure out what does your brain and your heart and your soul need
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
in order to feel fresh and new again. Something I did want to work on is finding a routine, you know, really building a routine. I've always struggled with this. I could tell you guys how to build the perfect routine, but then when I have a day off, it's really hard for me to follow routine.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So I want you guys to give your routine a refresh because if you've been trying the same routine for months and months on end and you still can't keep it, maybe it's not working for you because I do want you guys to realize while there's a lot of people who are like, My 5 a.m., 6 a.m. morning routine, my 5 to 9 before my 9 to 5. That's great and all. And if that works for them, that's amazing.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
But if you're trying to force it to work for you and it's just not like you're miserable every time you have to wake up and you feel exhausted by the end of the day, maybe you need to try something different. So don't be afraid to try something new. I think with this spring reset, it's the perfect time to give a new routine a try and create a new one for yourself that you have to look forward to.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So I want you guys to grab a pen and paper and start writing out your routine in immense detail. And I know this may sound so silly, but it's going to help. Trust me. So what would make your routine feel glamorized or romanticized? For me, it's like having a cup of tea. I almost said coffee. I don't drink coffee. But a cup of tea in the morning with my cute mug.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I did that today with my little pink Hello Kitty mug. And I added some honey to my tea and I just felt so amazing. Like I felt like a little adult and I was journaling in my planner and I loved it. I genuinely loved it. Making your bed or maybe getting some fancy little PJs to start the day with or a cute robe. Making an amazing breakfast. Obviously, you need breakfast. So build your own routine.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
A few things that I would also recommend to have in your routine. Like I just said, breakfast, 30 grams of protein within the first 30 minutes of waking up. Game changer for me making a nice smoothie.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Of course writing in your planner in your journal is a huge one Maybe you have a devotional or a self-help book that you really like Figuring out whether you want to go to the gym before work in the morning or before school or after school Slash work, you know, do you like the evening? Do you like the morning to be a little more productive find what works for you?
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Okay, it's all trial and error just because you can't wake up at 5 a.m does not mean that you're not meant to be a productive person and
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Everyone's bodies and our internal clocks are so different and how much energy we have throughout the day is so different So just because one routine you tried didn't work for you does not meant that you're not meant to have a fulfilling and happy enjoyable morning and night routine so writing it out can really help just because it gives you something to stick to you could write specific times that you're gonna do everything but give it at least a week's try and I guarantee you will feel amazing
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
But worry not, you guys. I am here to save the day with the Ultimate Spring Reset Guide. Spring reset is the ultimate time for you to kind of just get a breath of fresh air, a fresh start, a clean slate.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
amazing by the end of it promise just reset your routine that's a great way to refresh just doing something different because think about it this way if you've been doing the exact same morning routine for the past year or six months even you're probably so sick of it and it's probably not special to you anymore as little as changing the alarm sound that you wake up to instead of being like the maybe make it some like twinkles or make it your favorite song a song that's really upbeat
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Things like that go the longest way when it comes to refreshing and recreating your life and your routine. It's so, so powerful. Same thing goes with changing your ringtone. Maybe when someone texts you and maybe this is just me, but I get so annoyed sometimes when I hear my texts go off because I'm like, sometimes I'm bad at responding to texts. I'm like, who needs something now?
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Not in a mean way. Like when my friends text me, I love it. But I just mean like if it's something irk-related or something that I have to do, sometimes it's like, ugh. But you can change your text tone to something a little happier. That can help a lot. Also, updating your playlist, huge. The power of these little tiny things
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
is so so large it's crazy but make a spring playlist make a cleaning playlist a productive playlist a study playlist playlist for everything because the key to life is just romanticizing it and i can do an entire episode on romanticizing life and being a movie character because that's literally how i live my life every single day my life every single day is based off of me being a disney princess and it makes life so enjoyable so
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
Getting a new journal or planner is also so huge. You guys, if you struggle with trying to figure out what to write, I highly recommend the five minute journal. Personally, I, and I don't mean this in a, Oh, I'm so good at writing type way, but I have so many thoughts circulating in my head at all times.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
So personally, sometimes I prefer just having pen to paper and just brain dumping, like writing it out. But there is a guided journal. There's a five minute journal. This is not sponsored. Totally sounds like it. It's not just think it's so great. Um, and you just write things you're grateful for each day, what would make today great, a daily affirmation.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And then at nighttime you come back and you do highlights of the day and what you learned. And they also make a five minute fitness journal, which is great. So it talks about like, what are you going to do to fuel your body today? And you write down three things. Also though, my planner. Guys, I had last year a big bulky planner, which I like.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
And remember that whatever the beginning of this year looked like for you, whatever last year looked like for you, whatever last month, last week, yesterday looked like for you, that does not define you. And I think it's the perfect time, you guys, because the sun's starting to come out, the birds are chirping, the weather's going to get a little warmer. and it's just a clean slate.
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
I do like a big bulky planner, but this one's really cute too. And my boyfriend got me this one for 2025. If you're not looking, it's pink and gingham and adorable. And it says, start each day with a grateful heart. It gives you the breakdown of a calendar month, so you can write down each thing you're going to do each day. And then you can also do a breakdown of each day. And it also...
Hot and Unbothered
the ULTIMATE SPRING RESET GUIDE: how to START FRESH & get your life together to avoid mid-year slump (romanticize your routine, organization, & self care)
has for each month a list of personal goals. So what are the personal goals going to be for the month going forward? So for me, I wrote consistency, growth, and intention. And then it has a spot for your health goals. So it could be maybe you want to eat healthier, maybe you want to get 10k steps in a day, Maybe you want to start taking Pilates classes. And then work goals.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Don't you dare let this be another year, another month where you tell yourself, oh, I'm going to work so hard, get hot by summer, glow up, summer body, and you stay in the exact same spot, okay? We are not doing that this year. So if you want to learn how to level up your life and unlock the hottest, highest, and most healthy version of you, this is the podcast for you.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
And I hate to break it to you, but you're not going to get your summer body if you're just laying in bed every single day. So I highly suggest making a workout routine or a workout split that is doable and feasible for you. So this could mean maybe you're going to have a designated cardio day where you go on a walk or a hike. It's super easy to incorporate walking and hiking into
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
early in the morning or like the evening before or after work something like that getting your steps in is number one if you want to see any progress you have to get your steps in I personally love the 10k steps a day girly method but I know some people they like 5k steps to 10k steps some people if they have a short amount of time that they're trying to glow up in they do the 12k steps a day which if that is doable for you by all means be my guest but
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
You have become my safe place, my advisor, not to be cheesy, but even my therapist, and I know that I'm talking on behalf of so many people, and that's really precious. You have helped me grow, love myself, and never settle for the bare minimum. You are a true inspiration. I love you so much and I wish you the best. XOXO. I love you so, so much.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Sometimes that's not doable for me, at least every single day. I love walking on a treadmill while I'm editing, while I'm on my phone. And a huge way to help yourself get your steps in if you're a little unmotivated when it comes to doing cardio, pick a show, whatever show you're watching, Netflix, or maybe you have a favorite YouTuber, podcast to listen to.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Only let yourself watch this thing or listen to this thing when you are doing cardio. So for example, if you want to binge watch your Gilmore Girls, you have to go watch it
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
On a treadmill or while you're walking around the house walking around the neighborhood while you're on the stair master I literally swear by this it works like a charm because then next thing, you know an hour Maybe two episodes have passed by and now you've been walking for three miles and you just got your steps in You don't have to walk fast
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I'm not saying you have to do a crazy vigorous workout, but walking is the absolute best for you. I also used to really like the StairMaster. Right now I'm in my walking era, but I did notice great results from the StairMaster as well. Another thing for working out, I highly suggest using weights in your workout.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I'm not saying you have to do heavy weights because the most important things about working out is your form and engaging your core. If you engage your core during any kind of workouts, whether it's upper body or lower body, and you combine that with cardio, you will get abs. You will get abs, and I don't care what anyone says about it. I swear by this. This happened to me.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I didn't really exercise abs that much, but I was doing strength training with a little bit of cardio, and I... I think I look the best I ever looked in my life. I'm just saying. And if strength training is hard for you to do on your own, there are plenty of great fitness classes you can take, like group fitness classes. There's Pilates reformers. That even involves using a little bit of weight.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
You can do even barre classes, dance classes, anything like that. There's a lot of fun classes. I highly suggest looking in your area for just
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
any classes that they offer um there's a lot of really great options so highly suggest checking that out you can do class pass this isn't sponsored but i know that's a great way and if you really can't hold yourself accountable to going to a class there's always the buddy system and by this i mean getting a workout partner um yeah if you have a friend who you can work out with that is so so great because you guys can hold each other accountable to your workout goals and
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
showing up to the gym on the same days you know you have an appointment like a date with someone and you can't miss it because not only are you letting down yourself if you miss you're letting down the person who you were supposed to work out with i have a whole entire episode on gym stuff how to start working out how to start your fitness journey so if you want more in-depth details definitely listen to that episode because i think there's a lot of good stuff in there don't forget to stretch also after your workouts that is super super important obviously don't dread working out oh swimming
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Swimming is a great way, but let's be realistic. I know people are always looking up like, how do I get abs in two days? Or how do I lose weight without working out? You have to. Sorry. And I know they say that abs are made in the kitchen, which is so true. That's why I talked about all the food stuff first.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
But if you really want to see real results, if you want to be toned and looking strong and just feeling the most confident you've been, you have to move your body in combination with that. And if you do the food right, the cardio and the strength combo, you will be unrecognizable. I can guarantee you that you will be unrecognizable.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Guys, it mind boggles me that I make this much of a difference in your life. But if you guys, you heard this testimony here first, if you want this to be you, just keep listening, okay? Because I'm going to give you the secret sauce, the cheat code, things you have never heard before. I'm not going to say, oh, just work out every day. Don't eat. Go on a diet. That's not what we're doing here.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
So find movement you actually enjoy, whether this is yoga for you, dancing, jump roping. I think jump roping is so fun. Sorry. But create a specific routine and make this a non-negotiable, you know? So decide what days you're going to show up, how many days a week, what times you're going to show up and make this your plan, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Because what they say about working out is don't base your workout or whether or not you're going to work out off of how you feel. Base it off of the plan. You have to stick to the plan. Don't stick to how you feel because, of course, after a long day, you're not going to feel like working out.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
And I don't mean force yourself to work out, you know, like if your stomach's really hurting, if you're nauseous, if you're on your period, something like that. Give yourself some grace there. But if you're just tired and you're feeling lazy and you want to lay in bed a little longer, no. We're sticking to the plan because if you don't stick to the plan, how are you going to get hot by summer?
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
You won't. You literally won't. You have to start now because we get hot with consistency, okay? That is how. Even if we could get abs in two days, if you go back and revert to your old ways, immediately the abs are gone. Like you have to stick to it. Lastly, I just want to talk a bit about the maintenance routine. So maintenance routine is
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
kind of what you choose almost so for me part of my maintenance routine is at least once a month i go and get my nails done i get a mani pedi some people could be getting their hair cut getting their eyebrows done but having a maintenance routine really works wonders especially even with just your mental health and just knowing that you're doing an act of self-care for yourself this does not have to be expensive all maintenance can be done at home for sure but just having designated time
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
to work on these things for yourself. One thing that changed my game with the maintenance routine was laser hair removal guys. So you can get this professionally done, which I have done, but you can also get it done at home, which I almost prefer. They sell at home devices. I've actually featured a few on my page. The one that I think I like the best was one called Blex.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I want to say they've developed a lot more, but for example, if you're watching on video, I don't know if you could see, I have nothing on my arms and I literally
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
don't shave my arms same with like my armpits everything like that i got the brazilian one professionally done i'm not gonna lie it was painful but so worth it because just having ingrown hairs nothing is wrong with that okay let me say that there's nothing wrong with body hair or anything like that it's whatever you prefer but for me personally i know i feel so much more confident when i just like am smooth and i don't have to worry about like any painful ingrowns or razor burn or anything like that it just totally got it out of the way for me and i feel like i have like
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Silky smooth skin wherever I step out. So that's a huge one dry brushing is huge This is easy just to do before the shower. It's great for lymphatic drainage So it just kind of gets your skin cells circulating blood flow circulating and it really helps with like bloating Things like that oil pulling is also a huge one.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I oil pull coconut oil So you just get the jar of coconut oil and a spoon put that in your mouth for like a
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
10 15 minutes some people do 20 depends on how long you have you can kind of work up the time Spit it out in a trash can because if you spit it out in the sink, you will clog your pipes over time So don't do that, but it helps with whitening and it really helps with gum health as well I had a root canal one time and it was so painful and I swear I
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
by oil pulling now it also will help with bad breath things like that and tongue scraping but also if you want to whiten your teeth there's whitening pens white strips things like that but i feel like a big bright smile is something that's really underrated but you can get it so easily just by doing certain things in your routine getting a whitening toothpaste that's another super easy way you want to think about your serums okay and by serums i mean lash serums brow serum stuff that will help things grow naturally
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I am going to teach you how to glow. from the inside out and it all starts here. So buckle up, get out your notepad. I'm not even kidding. Take actual notes, take checkboxes, add these things to a to-do list in a journal. We need to do these things consistently in order to glow up and I have the cheat code for you, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
So for example, I know you're wearing during the summertime a lot less makeup for most of us So it really helps to kind of learn how to work with your natural face So growing your eyelashes is one I use the babe lash serums and I swear by it There's one for the evening morning and an eyebrow one as well.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Um lineage lip mask always having hydrated lips That's a huge one too, which is overall focusing on your skincare routine. It doesn't need to be Fancy, okay? Because like I said, your skin really has a lot to do with your body as well and what you're putting into it. So focusing on that and hydration will help your skin by tenfold. So your skincare routine doesn't have to be super complex.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I recommend focusing on hydration and SPF if you want your skin to be looking so glowy and unrecognizable this year. Work on finding a good face mask. Just really kind of simplify your routine down to something that works for you.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I feel like it's a lot of trial and error as well but I feel like glowy skin is just something that's so summer and the best way to get that is again fixing your routine from the inside out and then just making sure everything's super hydrated. Maybe you're not pounding a ton of makeup on your face but instead letting it breathe and just be light and moisturized. Your hair as well.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I feel like for summer, it's just about embracing the natural. So for your skin and for your hair, maybe learn how to style your hair naturally or learn some good heatless hairstyles that when summer comes around, you are looking amazing. The locks are luscious. So for me, I have like really awkwardly wavy hair.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
ish hair it's kind of coarse sometimes very textured at times frizzy for sure so i've taken it upon myself to kind of watch some curly hair routines learn what works for me invest in some new products i have the heatless curls which i absolutely love and i've just really accumulated really good heatless hairstyles over the years So I love turning to those as well during the summertime.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
But definitely just give your hair a break and learn how to embrace the natural texture that it has. And that can help you a lot during the summer. One thing I've learned about hair is to stop fighting it. Stop fighting the curl. Stop fighting whatever texture you have and embrace it instead.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Because if you feed the curls or the frizz or whatever with healthy products, your hair will thank you for that. And then lastly, you guys, sleep. And I know this doesn't sound that important, but I promise it really is. Your body needs sleep after your workouts, after your food, everything like that. Your body needs sleep. That's how your muscles repair. That's how your body refuels itself.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
That's how your skin repairs. So if you are doing all of these things, but you're not sleeping, it's kind of canceling itself out. So you need to sleep at least 8 hours a night. Women actually need 8 to 10 according to certain studies. So definitely try and prioritize your sleep. I know it's hard, but sleep is so important. So get off your screen a little earlier, things like that.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I have a step-by-step how to glow up plan and I'm going to tell it to you right now. Now, number one thing is when people think, oh, I have to glow up, they think kind of like that 75 hard, starve themselves, not really enjoying anything, just totally sacrificing, cutting out everything that they enjoy in this life. That is not the way because that is not attainable.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Build a healthy morning and night routine. That can really help. But the number one key to glowing up is consistency. So having a consistent routine with your sleep time, with your meals and your meal prepping, with your workouts, that will work wonders for you, you guys.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
That's all my tips for now but if you guys want to keep up with the glow up journey, I'm going to be doing vlogs on how we glow up by summer because I am dedicated to the plan and I'm sticking to the plan. Instead of winter arc, this is our spring leading up to summer arc and we are going to do it, okay? You have to be determined, you have to be consistent and stick to these things.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I promise it will work if you just stick to the plan and it will all pay off when you are glowing and feeling your absolute best this summer. Don't forget to join the group chat on Instagram so that we can keep each other accountable. Just send little updates.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Follow the podcast at Hot Unbothered on Instagram and TikTok and all of my socials at Brianna Gomez with two Bs, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, all that good stuff. I love you guys so much and I will see you next V-Day. Bye.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
That is not something that you're going to be able to commit to long term. It's not easy to be consistent when you have these crazy health goals like that. So I wanted to introduce you guys to the 80-20 rule. Maybe you've heard this before, maybe you haven't.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
The 80-20 rule is the idea that 80% of the time, if you are taking care of yourself, if you're using foods that fuel your body, you're working out, you know, you're being super consistent with your health goals, you can allow yourself that 20%. Because if you go full on cold turkey, 100%, you cut out every single sweet, every single vice that you have in life.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Welcome to today's episode of Hot and Unbothered. Hello beautiful people and welcome back to my podcast. If you are new here, my name is Brianna Gomez and I am your host of Hot and Unbothered, the ultimate podcast for leveling up your life, glowing up, deciding who you want to be, and getting there, okay? So you're a vision board.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
chances are you might backslide because you get so burnt out and then you binge and it's just not that attainable for many people so i highly recommend the 80 20 rule because you also yes you want to take care of yourself but at the same time you don't want to be totally depriving yourself of the things that make us happy so i think the 80 20 rule is super super attainable this means 80 of the time you are getting your eight hours of sleep you're drinking all your water eating your healthy foods you know your meals hitting your protein goals consistent in the gym
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
20% of the time, maybe for you that's the weekend or you have a little vacation you want to go on, don't beat yourself up about it.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
If you want to give yourself a sweet treat now and then, if you want to, you know, go out with your friends for her birthday, I don't know what it is for you, but you don't have to be so hard on yourself because again, that's how we end up backsliding and you kind of just get super burnt out. So I highly recommend looking into the 80-20 rule.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
So when you're setting these goals for yourself, give yourself a little bit of leeway because again, jumping into something so extreme, which is why the 75 hard trend has never worked on me. If you haven't heard of 75 hard, it's 75 days straight of doing like super intense things, you know, following a strict diet, two 45 minute workouts a day, things like that, which is great.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
It's great to have that in your consistent routine, but if you're making it this like short term goal and you're like, I'm just going to do this for 75 days, that's not a lifestyle change. That may be a temporary fix, but if you really want to permanently glow up from the inside out, we have to make lifestyle changes that work for our lives.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
And a great way to start with the 80 20 rule is with food. I never really agree with totally having to sacrifice something, totally eliminate something from your diet, especially if it's something you enjoy. A few things that I learned to focus on that literally helped me look the best I've ever looked. One, protein, guys. Protein is so, so crucial.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I don't care how you get it, but there's so many easy ways to get protein. It's in greek yogurt you can make little chicken wraps things like that eat a cheeseburger even protein style from in and out so so good protein is so crucial your muscles need protein to grow your gut actually loves protein and i feel like a lot of people they think oh i'm gonna go vegan
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
and I'll lose a bunch of weight or I'll be less bloated, which in other ways, yes, but the protein aspect, you still need that. Your body needs protein. Ideally, you want to hit your body weight in grams of protein. That should be your protein goal if you really want to see your body transform this summer. For example, if you weigh 130 pounds, you want to eat 130 grams of protein per day.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Honestly, something that really helps me because I'm not a big, like, measurer of food. I don't count calories, anything like that. But what does really help for me is if I just make sure I'm eating protein in every meal and it's balanced.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
so for example i used to eat a lot of like pasta and just pasta with literally nothing in it but like you know sauce and cheese but add protein and some vegetables to your pasta that is such an easy fix you also want to eat a lot of foods that are rich in antioxidants because it's so good for you a lot of us have a bloating problem or maybe i'm just speaking for myself i get so so bloated right and i was trying to figure out like how do i fix this
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
One thing that I realized is you have to listen to your body because I had not been listening to my body. You have to pick up on your body's cues. I've recently learned that I have a gluten and dairy sensitivity and I learned that because my skin was breaking out. I was having like internal like burning on the outside of my ear. Did some research. gluten and dairy sensitivity.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
So I highly recommend, I actually listened to this podcast and she recommended that especially girls who are struggling with like hormone imbalance or PCOS, try cutting gluten out of your routine for just 30 days. And I struggled with this. It's only been a few days since I've been gluten-free and honestly, it feels so, so good. And I know you're probably like, how do I give up pasta and pizza?
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
One, They have a lot of gluten free options. I love this chickpea pasta. It has 20 grams of protein in just the pasta. It's like 50% more of the protein that like you actually get from pasta usually. And it's so, so good. And when you put it with like your sauces and your meats and everything like that, veggies. You literally can't taste the difference and I really like it.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Also, I let myself eat sourdough bread because sourdough bread is fermented so it's still very gut friendly especially compared to other breads and most sourdough breads don't use the same kind of like wheat flour that is in regular gluten. So give that a try. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by even just limiting your gluten intake. Maybe don't cut it out entirely.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
But try just limiting it or just testing your levels and see how your body is reacting to these foods because I think we are a lot more sensitive to foods than we realize. Same thing with a lot of seed oils, things like that, just super processed foods. Try and eat cleaner. You will notice such a difference.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
your dream body, dream style, dream job, anything you're manifesting, we are getting there now. So go ahead, do yourself a favor, commit to the glow up this summer and follow the podcast on all platforms. You will not regret it, okay? I'm going to give you guys a step-by-step guide of how to get hot this summer.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
And the easiest way to do this, I'm not saying you have to go spend a bunch of money on like big fancy meals and eat at Erewhon every single day. But when you cook from home, cooking from home is going to save you money. So you have more money to spend on your summer excursions, but also you just know exactly what's going into it.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
You don't have a bunch of like salts and different kinds of processed things going into the food. You know exactly what you're putting into it. So I think that's super, super helpful as well. I have a key list of foods that if you guys want to become flat tummy queens, eating these foods will help you so, so much with your bloating. Number one thing I heard, which is
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
amazing and I didn't realize how much I loved it eating kiwis guys kiwis are filled with antioxidants they're filled with fiber and just so so many vitamins that your body craves I feel like we all forget about kiwis yeah I don't know what it is I've just maybe it's just me I haven't thought about kiwis forever And then I was listening to this doctor on a podcast.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
He said that if you eat a kiwi a day for four days straight, you will notice an insane difference in your gut health, how your body feels, how your stomach feels with your bloating. Try it. I've been eating kiwis and I love them. And you guys are going to think I haven't even said the craziest part yet. The crazy part is the outside of the kiwi.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
is one of the most important the outside of the kiwi has double the amount of fiber and vitamins than the inside of the kiwi so you guys can just bite the kiwi hole i know you're probably thinking like the texture like what i'm so weirded out literally just bite the kiwi hole bite the kiwi hole if it bothers you with the texture you can blend up the skin in a smoothie and you won't even taste the difference but i honestly kind of like it it's kind of fun just to bite a kiwi hole try it also tomatoes guys
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Tomatoes are filled with so many nutrients and antioxidants as well. I can give you guys the exact podcast. I'll link it in the show notes. But I learned so much. Basically, I did a study of having girls like eat tomatoes every single day and they had like one test group not eat tomatoes, one test group eat tomatoes, just like a whole tomato a day can make a huge difference.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
They noticed significant change in their bloating levels and their digestion and everything. Who would have thought?
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
tomatoes I don't know also bone broth if you guys are trying to hit those protein goals bone broth with a little bit of salt in it in the morning just heat it up on the skillet so so good guys it's so rich in protein you can get beef bone broth or chicken bone broth I prefer beef I believe but you can get this at Trader Joe's it comes in a little carton and it's like instead of a morning tea or a coffee or something like that replace it with bone broth
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I officially hereby call the beginning of the summer glow up because everybody knows summer bodies are built in the winter. your summer style, your summer skin, everything, you got to start now. If you want to be glowing, if you want to be tan, if you want to feel like a goddess walking on the beach this summer and just be your most confident self, we have to start now.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
This will help with your metabolism levels for the day. It will help you get your protein goals in and it's honestly really good. Some people don't like the taste. You could add a little lemon juice into it, ginger. You can make a little soup or you could literally just drink it whole in a mug. Who cares? Avocados are a great healthy fat as well. Your body loves those. Also pomegranates.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Pomegranates are amazing for you. I know this isn't like a
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
food topic i just want to start with this because this is such an easy fix to incorporate these in your routine without you know actually having to work out move your body at all just add a few of these things to your grocery list but pomegranate is great for you as well and i don't think you guys realize that not only will eating clean and including more nutrients in your meals will help your body and your bloating but it also helps your skin like immensely it's insane there's so many different fruits and veggies like oh my gosh cucumbers when i was eating cucumbers my skin was glowing
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
because they're literally just like straight water. So definitely add some more colorful foods and fruits and veggies to your grocery list because it makes all the difference. And I feel like it's not talked about enough. If you guys want an episode dedicated to food, I could definitely do that for you. But I think that this is a great place to start just incorporating these foods.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
When it comes to food, a huge mistake a lot of us are making but we don't realize is eating too close before going to sleep. If you eat a huge giant pasta dinner like 30 minutes before you go to sleep, you're not going to sleep well and your body's not going to be able to properly digest that and you're going to be bloated instantly the next morning.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
So try and increase a little bit of time between when you go to sleep and when you wake up. Some people say maybe 10 to 12 hours between your last meal and your breakfast. Do whatever works for you. I'm not saying fasting is the key, but what I'm saying is Don't eat too shortly before going to sleep because your body is not going to be able to take that down very easily.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Now, another thing I'm going to say, if you really, really want to glow up, you need to make a few sacrifices when it comes to stimulants. And by stimulants, I mean caffeine.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
i mean alcohol all of these things is alcohol a stimulant i actually don't know things like that you need to try to limit i know it might be impossible for some people to cut out but just try because your energy drinks and your coffee are filled with sugar and if you really want your skin to glow and your body to feel good Just give it a try. Maybe you have two cups of coffee a day.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Try cutting it down to just one cup of coffee a day. Little changes like that, I promise. So we are not taking anything from our routine, but try incorporating more. And then when you're incorporating more healthy foods, you'll realize how great you feel with those foods where you don't even realize that you're making a switch from the things that were bad for you.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
to the things that are good for you so definitely give it a try again i don't drink any caffeine that's my personal thing and that's not even something that i like swore myself off of ever at any point but i don't like the way caffeine makes me feel first of all and we're listening to our bodies but also it's just not necessary i've never been a drink person and this is a great way if you're looking for ways to help with your bloating and help with making your gut healthy and everything
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Try and do less like sugary drinks, things like that. I think I read somewhere the worst form like of sugar we have or intake as humans is through liquids because there's so many sugars in your bobas and your milkshakes and everything like that. Your energy drinks especially though. Speaking of liquids, guys.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
And there's a lot to get done, a lot to cover. So let's dive right in. But before we dive in, you guys know I love to share a podcast review. Today we have someone whose screen name is Hermione Granger. She says, Hi Brie, if only I could let you know how much I admire all you do. I didn't know that there are people like you with your willingness and talent. Your advice is something else.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
gallon of water a day I'm telling you I swear by it I will never not say this in a glow up video your body needs water we need to flush out the toxins we need to hydrate ourselves your skin wants water so badly your stomach wants water so badly after your workout you really need water I use one of these I have a half gallon jug that I carry around and it's glass and it tells you like what times you need to be done drinking and everything like that
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I try my best to drink two of these a day, at the very least one, but this is an absolute non-negotiable in my glow up routine. Like water is the number one. Like our bodies are literally water and we need more and more. And speaking of non-negotiables, we need to have more non-negotiables in our routine.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
So speaking of the 80-20, yes, it's okay if it's a friend's birthday and you want to go out to a party, right? But on that day, that doesn't mean that you can completely not try to care about yourself at all. So maybe this means before the party, you're going to go work out, you're going to go on a little walk.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Maybe this means no matter what, even if you do go get drunk or get really distracted or you're not eating the best, you're still drinking a ton of water. So that's one of my non-negotiables, but you have to decide what your non-negotiable is.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Maybe it's okay for you if you don't go to the gym every single day, but you still want to make sure you're eating all of your protein, hitting your protein goals. This is a great way to make sure we're staying consistent in our routines and our goals in some way, shape, or form. I know I just said a lot about food, so something that really helps because, again, I don't like a restrictive diet.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I don't like not having a healthy relationship with food. The best thing you can think of when you're trying to learn how to approach your relationship with food is that food is fuel. Imagine your body is a car and your food and everything you drink is the gas that you put into the car, okay? And if you're getting some cheap McDonald's meal, that's the cheap gas.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
Your car's not going to run as well, might run out of energy quicker, but if you're fueling your body from the beginning of the day with super rich in nutrients foods, lots of protein, just taking care of it, consistently fueling your body with good things, you're going to feel great. Your energy levels are going to feel so different.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I feel like I can already feel a difference from when I was eating a bunch of pasta every single day versus now when I'm not. I feel a huge difference in my energy, in my skin, and I highly recommend giving it a try. So now we're gonna talk about working out, but before you start rolling your eyes, work your body out in a way that makes you happy.
Hot and Unbothered
start now to be UNRECOGNIZABLE BY SUMMER: physical glow up guide to start TODAY
I'm not saying you have to hit the gym every single day, but if you wanna see true results, you have to move your body every single day. Even on your rot days, get up, take some laps around the house. even when you don't feel like doing anything, you have to move your body in some way. Our bodies are not meant to be still laying in bed every single day. They're just not.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
If you want to learn how to level up your life and unlock the hottest highest and healthiest version of yourself This is the podcast for you. Welcome to today's episode of hot and unbothered Hello beautiful people and welcome back to my podcast.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
and it's something that is so so relevant in today's day and age with social media everything like that it's literally impossible to not compare yourself to the person you're seeing on the screen we see so many photoshop things we see everything just like glorified almost because of course people are only going to show the good parts of their life but the best part about learning to not compare yourself
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
is the detachment that comes within that. So the number one thing I want you guys to do when you're trying to stop with the comparison is you have to cleanse and detox the media that you're intaking. So any negative media, whether that's someone who you really compare yourself to often or someone who photoshops their images or post negative things, clear it out.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
You can unfollow people and don't feel bad about unfollowing people. It's totally normal. To go on an unfollowing spree, just because I think that we don't realize our thoughts, they really do impact like how we treat ourselves and how we view ourselves.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And so when we're constantly comparing ourselves to others, it's literally impossible to love yourself at a full 100% because you're looking at your phone, you're looking at this person who's not even real. You're just seeing the glorified parts of their life and you're thinking, I wish I had that. Or why am I not as pretty as them? Why don't I have as much success as them?
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
everything like that and that's just not the way it goes so that's the number one thing is you guys have to kind of identify where you find yourself comparing and then kind of delegate whether or not it's worth it to keep that comparison in your life because honestly like it's not worth 99% of the time
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And another thing that comes with comparison, because we know that comparison is the thief of all joy. I'm sure your mom told you that growing up. I'm sure you've heard that before. But comparison also comes or stems from jealousy. And jealousy is something that is honestly, it can be a super strong.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
If you're new here, my name is Brianna Gomez and I am your host of Hot and Unbothered, the ultimate podcast for unlocking your highest self, leveling up your life and figuring out how you are going to take out the space between your current self and your highest self. So today we are doing something a little bit different.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
strong like stronghold honestly and it's hard to shake that feeling away because again when we see someone who has something that we want we become jealous of them and it's just a natural feeling but with that jealousy can come resentment it can come with unkindness and that's just not a good way to live and it's hard to vibrate at a high energy when you are constantly jealous of someone else and holding that resentment so
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
I want you guys to practice when you see someone who you find yourself being jealous of or comparing yourself to, instead of hanging on to that resentment, I want you to be happy for them. Be happy for them because they have something that is meant for them. You can be inspired by them. You can be motivated by them. But don't be jealous because jealousy is just not cute. And jealousy...
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
it gives off this desperate energy almost. And it's just not a magnetic frequency to be on. It's just not. So I want you guys to really practice that. And it's really nice like having that mindfulness and that intention when you find yourself like feeling that feeling of jealousy, you can kind of go in and correct it, which is really, really helpful. So I like practicing that.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And another great way to practice this is to never hold a positive thought to yourself. And this can sound a little bit silly, but when you see someone walking down the street, you know, you see them, maybe she has a really cute outfit or you love her dog or her bag or her hair looks amazing and you wish your hair looked like that. You might feel that feeling.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
of jealousy for a second you might feel that oh my gosh that should be me you need to feel that feeling and release it and as you release it you let that person know the thought that you had about them never ever hold a positive thought to yourself and it is like the most magnetic practice you can do because it just spreads more positivity to that person and you get what you put out into the universe if that makes sense so if you're putting positivity out it will come back and find you
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
let's pause and look at the comments we have isabel isabel said hi brie it's late where i am so i wish i could stay to listen but i want to say i love your advice it's hard to think when it's 142 degrees hot and slightly bothered it's so hard to think I wish I had a hair tie or like a rubber band. I want you guys to imagine this. God creating you, right?
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And everything about you is so perfectly and intentionally made in the way that you are right now is the way that you were intended to be.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
everything down from your hair to your skin to your personality to your interests that was how he decided you should be because he needs someone like you in this world and then imagine if you spent so much time imagine you're buying a gift for someone and you carefully like put out this gift maybe you you hand make it you pick it out you wrap it with so much care and you're so excited to give it to this person and to see what they do with their gift and
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And then they open their gifts and they're like, I hate it. And they're like, I wish I had that person's gift. I wish I had something that's not this. I wish I had more money, more success. I wish I looked different. I wish my talents were different. I wish my family were different. But you handpick this for them. but they're deciding that it's not what they want.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
If you can't tell, I am putting the emphasis on hot and hot and unbothered and we are in a sauna. So it's about to get hot. really hot in here so we'll see right now it's 122 degrees um but who knows so this is a new segment that we're starting where i will have a guest with me so let me know which guests that you guys want to see we already have a few potential ones lined up
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
But honestly, at the end of the day, that person who you gave the gift to, they don't know your true intention behind it because maybe you had a specific use for them to use it for that they weren't going to use it for yet. Or maybe you just had this specific vision that you wanted for them and they just don't see it yet, but they don't see it.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
So they're so, so upset with the gift that you got them and they want to return it. They want nothing to do with it. They hate it. They put it on the ground and they stomp all over it. Like,
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
you have to imagine that is how your creator who created you is viewing you because now you're not liking the cards that you were dealt and instead you want to go trading you want to go look at what every other person has and say i like theirs better i like theirs better why don't i have the same clothes as them the same money as them the same job as them you don't know what's coming for you.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And imagine how hurtful that is to the person who gave you that gift, right? And they're not going to want to give you any more gifts if you're constantly just looking and focusing on what everyone else has. So that's my two cents on how you can kind of
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
change your perspective a little bit when it comes to learning how to be happy with what you have in life and not just wanting instantly what other people have and we live in a world where it's so easy to just scroll and open your phone or see people at the gym or on the street and just wish that things were different but it really is refreshing to remind yourself that you are who you are for a reason
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
You're where you are in this point in time for a reason. And there's no need to stress about if you're going to get the same success, if you're going to get the same looks and achieve the same things because you are on your own journey. But you have to remember someone else's path is not your path. You are exactly where you're meant to be.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
But instead of focusing on other people, you need to be focused on yourself. Because once you decide to look inwardly, and you stop looking at all these external distractions almost and all these external negative factors, you will become so much more magnetic.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
Like all of that attention and obsession that you're putting into other people's lives, you need to revert back into you and it will become so powerful and magnetic and you will thrive. I'm going to tell you guys something that I do deal with comparison. I do struggle with comparison.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
I think especially being a creator, it's really, really hard to feel like you're being original, but at the same time, it's hard to then execute your original ideas and feel like they're good or not because you see what all of these creators are doing because there's so many influencers in the world, right? And then you want to compare yourselves like, well, I'm doing something similar, but I'm
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
Why are people liking her videos and not mine? Why are their videos blowing up and not mine? Oh, their idea is better. I wish I thought of that. When you're so focused on other people, you are just ruining your authenticity and you're ruining your flow of like creativity. Because how are you supposed to thrive when you're constantly comparing? You know what I mean?
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
Like imagine if you had a little kid.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
and when your little kid was performing or competing or anything like that you were constantly like comparing them to other kids that's not going to make them want to do any better it's going to make them want to cry and roll up in a little ball and quit but you don't realize that's what you're doing to yourself i will tell you guys the truth like i struggle with comparison so i don't want you to think that i'm sitting here and being like i don't struggle with comparison i'm so confident myself every single day that's so far from the truth like with social media being a creator i feel like i almost deal with
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
the same if not more comparison because like i said you're also comparing other people's success levels and with social media we are seeing such a what we think is like clear vision of this person's life you know you see day in my life and you think wow their perfect day it seems like
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
But it's going to be really fun. We're going to talk all things self-care, self-love, and it's going to be done in a sauna. So we have the people live on TikTok. And if you guys have any questions, feel free to send them in and I'll answer as I go. But we have a whole setup going right now. So it's going to be really fun. I am going to have a guest in here with me and it's going to be a surprise.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
so ideal I'm so jealous but like people are only putting the highlight reels and that's the thing about social media so I want you guys to just keep that perspective in mind when you are kind of scrolling and you find yourself comparing because again you are meant to be your own person like can you imagine how boring life would be if every single person were the exact same or if you could see a person and be like I want my life to be exactly like theirs and snap their fingers and have it the same
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And even if that could happen and you did that, you have no idea what goes on in their house behind closed doors. You have no idea what goes on in their head, what battles they're dealing with. Like, I feel like in our lives, we see those people and we just assume that they're perfect and they have everything and they're just living the dream. You don't even know the half of it.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
Like, you know, I feel like you compare yourself to these people. People used to compare themselves to celebrities all the time and then the celebrity would end up having everything. Depression or addiction or anything like that, like we never truly know someone's battle.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
So it's almost like be careful what you wish for, because maybe you can have that mansion or that dream life or that dream job, but maybe that job actually sucks and it's super hard. Or maybe you have that mansion and it's empty and it's boring and you're lonely. You know, I feel like we only kind of look at the parts of life that we want from other people.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
We don't think of what it would really be like if we had that whole package. And that's something that I find really helpful when struggling with comparison as well. But overall, like I was mentioning before, start pouring into yourself the way that you pour into other people.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
stop obsessing over others stop yearning basically for other people's lives when the life you have right in front of you was meant for you so just work on yourself love work on kind of letting go of jealousy detaching of that kind of fear of outside opinions that fear of not being good enough or not being as similar as to what's cool and what's not like trends micro trends all that stuff etc and
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
It does not matter at the end of the day, okay? So be true to yourself because I promise the right people will find you. You never have to change yourself to make people like you. You never have to change yourself to succeed. I promise you who you are is good enough. So make sure that you are loving that person and feeling your soul. Yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
Don't forget to follow me on all my socials at Brianna Gomez with two Bs. Follow the podcast at Hot Unbothered on Instagram and TikTok. and leave a review on this episode for the chance to be featured in next week's episode. And let me know who you want sitting in the hot and unbothered sauna with me because it's hot and it's getting vulnerable in here. I love you guys so, so much.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
And I will see you next free day. Bye.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
So let me know who you guys want it to be. I'll call them up.
Hot and Unbothered
comparison is the thief of joy. how to stop jealousy & obsession to focus on YOUR own growth (dealing with social media, identity, insecurity)
okay guys this is gonna be like you know hot ones where they get hot and they're eating the wings and they can't talk during their interview that's what this is but now it's hot and unbothered okay we're gonna turn it up just so i can get my benefits and i forgot a hair tie of course so today we're gonna be talking about comparison i know i had a lot of people request that topic
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
there is a reason that you clicked on this video whether you've been hurt whether you've been rejected whether that boy doesn't want you that school doesn't want you your family doesn't want you there is a reason why you clicked on this video and i'm here to tell you that your rejection does not define you and here's how you're going to move forward so if you want to learn how to level up your life and unlock the hottest highest and healthiest version of yourself this is the podcast for you welcome to today's episode of hot and unbothered
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Was I angry? Yes. Did I want to at first expose this person and post videos of them yelling at me and post our text messages? Of course, I'm only human. But the thing is, this happening to me is the whole reason why I'm sitting here on your screen. It's part of the reason why I have this platform, part of the reason why I have a podcast, because I have stuff to talk about.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
If all that stuff and hurt didn't happen to me, I wouldn't have learned half of the things that I did that I talked to you guys about on this podcast. So just know that there is a purpose, right? And when it was happening to me, of course, I didn't know one day I'm going to be able to use this hurt for good and talk about it on a podcast. No, I didn't know that in the moment. Of course not.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Of course I wanted my revenge. Of course I was bitter and resentful. Of course I wanted my answers and an apology. But one day I realized that my life became so much better the moment I decided to let go. Instead of feeding into the energy and doing the whole communication after breaking up and texting and arguing and whatever, I would not be here in front of you if I were not rejected.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Thank you so much for this amazing podcast."
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
But it ended up being the best thing that's ever happened to me. That relationship was terrible. That relationship was hurtful. It was traumatic. And I still deal with some repercussions from it today. But I'm healing. And I would not be here if I didn't choose redemption over revenge. And there's a difference of two. And I need you to choose redemption.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
thank you angel that is seriously so sweet you guys again I say this every single week but the fact that I am touching people's hearts and lives just is unreal to me it's something that I will never be able to fathom yet here we are and I am so happy and feeling so inspired by you guys to be here and this is a message that I hold very dear to my heart you guys are so important to me but I know at any stage in our life just as women in general we deal with a
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I need you to say, okay, this hurt me, right? The most traumatic thing could have happened to you. And in the moment, you're not going to see what it's meant for. You're not going to see what good you're going to do with it. But it will come eventually. the more that you heal and the more that you choose to let go and choose peace. You'd think it'd be the easy solution, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
To choose peace over revenge. But when we are in this place, it's so much easier to feel bitterness and resentment. But I just want to affirm for you and remind you that I would not be here in front of you with my whole career and everything if I were not rejected. And I learned that I can take this hurt that I experienced and turn it into a lesson.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And this lesson and knowledge and wisdom that I earned, I share with my friends. I share with people I meet. I share with my coworkers. I share with anyone I come across who is going through a hurtful time. I can now give pretty good relationship advice, might I say. I can talk about things like revenge and rejection because I experienced it, but I've seen the other side.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And my hope for you is that you now move through life knowing that rejection is actually necessary. So when you get rejected, try and open this new perspective of thank you. Thank you, God. Thank you, universe. I don't know what this is meant for yet, but I know it's meant for something better and I will see it sooner or later.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
So if you want to know how you can make someone regret missing out on you, regret losing you, regret rejecting you for their entire life, The best way you can do that is to move forward, is to pour into yourself as much as you are pouring into them. Channel your energy into yourself as much as you are channeling that negative energy out towards them.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Pour into yourself, walk in your purpose, protect your peace, That is how you will make them regret it for the rest of your life. And you can do that without even lifting a finger, without even having to think of them, without even having to put any energy towards them. You can make them miss out on you by just living your life, walking in your purpose and pouring into yourself.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
That is the best revenge. And that is the best redemption that you can ever do after being rejected. No response is the best response. Taking your energy back for you is the best response.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
So the second that you start doing things for you instead of other people, instead of whatever rejected you, you will be a hundred times more fulfilled than you ever would have been through seeking revenge on this person or focusing and obsessing over the rejection.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
you will be so much more fulfilled the second that you take your energy back and stand in your power and i have an entire podcast episode about how to take your power back stand in your power focus on your own personal energy so if you guys are interested in that i will be sure to link it for you guys
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I am going to wrap this up, but I just encourage you guys to open the gift of rejection and lean into it instead of just harboring that hate and harboring that bitterness. Don't let it be a closed up gift of bitterness building up inside of you. Open it and walk in your power. I hope that you enjoyed this episode.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
If you did, don't forget to follow me on all my socials at Brianna Gomez with two Bs on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat. On my Instagram, I have a group chat for you to join if you want to talk to the Hot and Unbothered girlies. Join the cute little community. We all talk and support each other. Follow the podcast at Hot Unbothered on Instagram and TikTok. I am so proud of you for being here today.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Don't forget to rate the podcast five stars on Spotify. We are so close to being in the top 10 in the U.S., which is insane. But I love you guys so, so much and I will see you next free day. Bye.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Whether this is from a school or a club that you didn't get into. Maybe it's from a friend or a group that's excluding you. Maybe it's from a family member, right? Those things are so hurtful. But I just want you to know that you have a place in this world and rejection is totally normal and And it's actually a good thing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
So today we're going to rewire our perspective so that I can show you how important rejection is when it comes to the trajectory and path of our lives. And I know you're probably like, what are you talking about? This sounds crazy. I'm hurting right now. I promise you there is a other side to this. Okay. Let's talk about first why rejection hurts, right? Rejection hurts because we feel excluded.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
We feel maybe like we're the odd one out. We feel unaccepted. We feel unworthy. We feel unchosen. However, I need you guys to realize that there is a silver lining to this and that is the fact that your rejection is leading you to exactly where you need to be in life. Think of life as a board game. And I said this analogy in one of my first ever podcasts. You know Monopoly, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
You go five steps forward, you go five steps back, you might land in jail. You're being sent in all these different directions, but what you're not realizing is even when you're going forwards and backwards and you could be so bummed out when you get sent to jail, when you have to move back five spaces. However, you are still moving forward and
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
in the game which for us is life in the end goal you will still get there right during a board game this game of monopoly you can move forward and backwards go to jail a million times but you still might be the winner you just don't know because you can't see what's gonna happen next when you roll the dice but you do have to keep rolling if you just give up and quit the game you'll never know if you were supposed to win or not
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And so when it comes to life, when it comes to rejection, when we feel like we are being unchosen, when we feel like we are getting hurt by some person, we take it so personally and we take it so deeply. However, there is a plan for you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And this is just another stepping stone, another piece of the board game, another move that is actually necessary to taking you to where you're meant to be in life. And I know you're probably thinking like, Bree, how is my boyfriend dumping me helping? How is this group not allowing me to be a part of it going to help me?
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Well, something that I heard is that rejection is the training ground for your purpose. When you get rejected, you have the choice to turn this to something that's so tragic, so hurtful, you fall into a deep slump, a deep depression, you let this define you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
or you take this and you let it shape you and you learn from it and you grow from it and you decide that's the kind of person I don't want to be or I'm going to make myself better in this way. And the reason why it's so hard to see the silver lining is because rejection injures our heart.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
It injures our ego and it injures our pride because you had this hope coming into it that you would be accepted. you had this idea of what you wanted the outcome to be. You had this factor that you wanted to control.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And that's one thing I need you to work on is to just release attachment, detach, because when we are so attached, we are clinging onto the outcome and we are quite literally a stick in the mud when it comes to the flow of life.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Life could be wanting you to go this way, but if you're so attached and clinging on and obsessed with the outcome, you're being a stick in the mud and you're not letting life just happen to you. And that's when it hurts. But if you learn how to detach and you know, say, the things that are meant for me will never pass me by. And if an opportunity passes me by, then it was not meant for me.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
When you learn to do that, it becomes so much easier. But our ego and our pride gets hurt if you were so obsessed with an outcome of something you wanted. Getting into this club, passing this test, getting into this school, making this boy like you, right? You become so obsessed with it so that when it doesn't happen, you are hurt.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Hello beautiful people and welcome back to the podcast. If you are new here, my name is Brianna Gomez and I am your host of Hot and Unbothered, the ultimate podcast for visualizing your dream life, identifying who you want to be, and learning how to take the steps to get one step closer to becoming that person every single day. Today we're talking about something that was highly requested.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
You had this expectation and this hope of being accepted and you got let down. And that's normal. And we need that. It's kind of like a muscle, right? You need to kind of tear the muscle. When you work out, you're breaking the muscles, ripping them apart, and then it heals and grows back stronger. That's how your ego, that's how rejection, that's how it all works.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And so I need you to remember that whatever rejection you experienced is so much smaller. It is so minuscule and irrelevant compared to the plan that God has for you. Because I need you to know the day that you touched this earth and even before that, there was a plan for you. You have a destiny and there is something that you are meant for.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
You have a purpose in this world and whatever's happening to you right now, that is just a part of a plan. That's a part of a bigger picture that we are just not able to see yet. So I need you to learn how to detach from the outcome and release control. Let these things happen to you. And when someone is rude to you, when someone rejects you, when they don't pick you, let them.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
You have to learn how to let them miss out on you and it will be their biggest regret, but that's not your problem. And at the end of the day, you get to choose whether or not you get to accept the rejection and learn how to let it shape you and make you stronger or if you're going to let it define you and ruin you and cripple your ego.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
There's an obvious choice, but sometimes the obvious choice is not the easy one. We know what's right. We know the best thing is to let go, detach, move on, live our lives. But it's not easy. Sometimes it feels like we want ourselves to be stuck and attached to this outcome and attached to whatever hurt us or broke us or rejected us. But that's not a way to live.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
There's a talk from a woman named Nona. And guys, she is now officially the number one person who I want to have on my podcast. I wish I could meet her. She moved me in this talk that she had. And I'm going to link it for you guys. And I highly, highly recommend you go listen to it after this. But she says something about rejection. That rejection is a gift.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And you have the choice whether to open it and let it shape you. and find your purpose. Or you can suppress it and let it bother you and build up until you can't take it anymore. Rejection can be a gift of betterment if you open it and a gift of bitterness if you don't. So open the gift of rejection.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I feel like when we get rejected, we try to just shove it to the back of our minds, don't want to deal with it, don't want to heal from it, don't want to address even within ourselves what happened. Lean into it. Yeah, I did get rejected, but you know what? That's going to take me one step closer to where I want to be. And I want to give you guys an example.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I was hurt so badly in my last relationship. And I try not to talk about it too much because I don't want to be all hung up on it and lower the vibes. But my last relationship, it was nearly three years, right? And it was toxic. Of course, it started with love, but it was so toxic. It was abusive emotionally, physically, sexually. It was not good.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And I would not wish a relationship like this to anyone, my worst enemy in life. However, it happened to me, right? And I can spend my life being like, why me? Why me? Why me? Why did I waste three years of my life? Why was I hurt like that? You know, when I can spend my life trying to get revenge on this person making it known to the world who he is.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Someone DM'd me saying that they were dealing with rejection and they requested this episode. Honestly, rejection is something that feels crippling. when you're going through it. Rejection can be so hurtful because it bruises our ego and I'm going to dive in to a lot of that.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I could go searching for answers why he did what he did. I can make it certain that no one ever dates him again in his life. I could ruin his life, make sure he never gets a job, never gets into any school, anything like that. But why? Why would I do that? Because When you are looking for revenge, which a lot of us do, right? We seek revenge when someone hurts us.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I feel like it's the human instinct. Someone hurt me, I'm going to get back at them. Someone hurt me, I'm going to make sure that they don't get to date anyone else. I'm going to expose them. I'm going to make them jealous, whatever it may be. Why? Because when you have these intentions of making someone jealous, of embarrassing them, of hurting them, of punishing them, you know what you're doing?
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Is you are still in a relationship with them. You are still exchanging energies. Whether or not you are speaking to this person, you're still exchanging energy. You are still doing something with the intention of them in mind. You know what I mean? There is so much ill will going on between you and this person that it's still a relationship.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I'm not saying it's a good one, but you're still exchanging energies and you are still involving yourself in giving them the power. So when you are looking for revenge, it might feel like, you know what? I'm going to get my power back. I'm going to get back at them. I'm going to hurt them. I'm going to punish them. I'm going to embarrass them. You don't hold the power at all.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
They hold the power because they're making you feel some type of way where they make you want to react. And when it comes to a narcissist, what they want you to do is react. When it comes to someone who is hurting you intentionally, what they want is a reaction from you. They want to stir the pot. They want to get you all hot and bothered.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
So what you're going to do is be hot and unbothered because the best reaction that speaks volumes, the most meaningful thing you can do is to not react. The best form of revenge is moving in silence. The best form of revenge is saying, you know what? I let go. And it's saying, I'm going to let them do whatever they want to do. I'm going to let them reject me.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
The let them theory, let them move on. Let them reject you. Let them do whatever they want. It's not your job to fix somebody. If they did something wrong. Why is it your job to write it? Why is it your job to fix their mistake? Why is it your job to make sure that they get payback, whatever it is? Your job is to move on. Your job is to grow from it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
But as women especially, I think we make it our duty to fix people or to show them that they wronged us or to get our answers. That's not your job. And when you are hurt and our ego is damaged, we often think that revenge is something that's going to fix us. I feel like even in the movies, it's, oh, my boyfriend cheated on me.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I can't find the person who messaged me right now asking me to do the rejection episode, but just know that this is for you and this is for all of you. Before we dive in, I just want to share a quick podcast review We have one from the name Artly. They said, Hi, Brianna. I'm 14 and Nigerian, but I'm currently living in Malaysia.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Let's go egg his house or expose him or whatever, which obviously it can be more or less extreme than that. But what are you going to gain from humiliating this person, from hurting this person? Nothing. It might be fun. You might get temporary, momentary, short-term gratification from it. And then what? Then what happens? Nothing. You are actually feeding into this person's energy.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
You're not going to feel better. In fact, you may even feel worse because there is no redemption in stooping down to their level. There is no redemption in playing these childish games and giving away your energy. But what there is redemption in is fueling your soul.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
feeding your soul, all that negative energy that you're channeling towards these other people in these situations that rejected you, you could be putting back into yourselves. And just imagine if this negative energy turned into positive energy and we just channeled it back into ourselves and into other people and spread love,
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
That is so much more fulfilling because revenge, you might think it's going to be fulfilling and that it's going to feel good, but then it's going to happen and you're going to feel even worse than when you started. And this really takes a mature mindset. So some of you may not be receptive to this right now, but I need you to realize that there is a difference between revenge and redemption.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
When we are rejected, you have the choice to choose revenge or redemption and you can't have both. Some people think that revenge is going to be redemption. You think that with revenge, you're going to redeem yourself of whatever happened to you. You're going to fix your ego, but that's just not the truth.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
You're going to end up stooping down to their level and you're going to feel even worse because you're giving your energy away. And if there's one thing I can beg you is to stop feeding into other people's energy. That's not fair to you. It's not fair to you. Our most valuable things in life
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
is our time and our energy and when you are seeking revenge and when you are letting this rejection get a hold of you, you're wasting both your time and your energy. But just imagine if you use this time and energy to redeem yourself and focus on yourself and move in silence, that is the most powerful form of revenge and redemption and you don't even have to try.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
There is no power in stooping down to their level. There is no power in harboring hate in your heart and seeking revenge and just holding these grudges. But you know what there is power in? Moving forward and letting go and prioritizing yourself and putting yourself on the pedestal for once in your life. And someone who's close to me told me this, they were hurt by someone that they love.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
But they told this person, once this person even, you know, came back to talk about it and talk about this way that they rejected them or hurt them. And she told them, I forgave you before you even apologized. I forgave you after it happened. You know how strong that makes you? And also, you know how bad that must make the other person feel?
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
You have truly inspired me and moved me to look deeper within myself, care for myself, and be a kinder person, which is something I want to start now at my early age so I can be as lovely as you when I'm older. You're so beautiful and talented and inspiring, and you encourage young girls like me all around the world, reminding women of our strength and beauty.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
That you decided to make a choice in your heart without any apology necessary. you were going to let go. You were going to forgive them. You can forgive and not forget. I'm not saying you have to go jumping and running into this person's arms, but I'm saying you can let go without an apology. I feel like oftentimes we wait around for someone else to fix the problem. We want an answer.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
We want an apology. We want a solution to this rejection. No one is coming to save you. And that's the harsh truth that I need you to realize. No one's coming to save you, but you can make the choice to save yourself by opening the gift of rejection and turning it into a training ground to fuel your purpose instead of letting it form into bitterness and resentment.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
Bitterness and resentment are the strongest strongholds and I struggle with that. But just know that you can hold the two truths of, yes, this person hurt me and yes, this happened, But also, I'm going to use this and I'm going to grow from it. And they don't cancel each other out. That still happened.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
I'm not saying you have to go be besties with this person who hurts you or that you have to still love them. But you have to know, okay, I can move forward from this. Keep this in mind. You don't have to pretend it never happened. But you can move forward and you can turn this into something that is making you stronger.
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
So learn how to say thank you to God or the universe for this rejection because it truly is a gift. You just don't know it yet. So again, if you didn't get into a school, a boy didn't choose you, your best friend doesn't want to be your friend anymore, your family member is rejecting you. Who cares?
Hot and Unbothered
how to turn REJECTION into GROWTH: the best revenge to overcome hurt, regain confidence, & move forward | REDEMPTION ARC
And thank you because I'm now going to use this as fuel for my purpose, not fuel for anger or bitterness or revenge, fuel for my purpose. Because let me tell you back to my ex story, I would not be sitting here in front of you if I were never hurt in my relationship like that. Because when I got hurt in that toxic relationship, I had to go through a ton of healing. Did I cry? Yes. Was I hurt? Yes.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
if you want to level up your life and unlock the hottest highest and healthiest version of yourself this is the podcast for you welcome to today's episode of hot and unbothered Hello beautiful people and welcome back to my podcast.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
He sees the diamond as rare and beautiful and that there will be no stone ever like it that he comes across and he knows how to care for the diamond. This is not about diamonds. This is about you and your value and your love.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And you have to ask yourself, are you going to be a pink diamond that's accepting just $2, $200, people who don't even know its true worth, who don't see its true value, who want to convince you that you are worth so little? Or are you going to wait for a jeweler and wait for someone who knows how to hold your love? That is my favorite metaphor.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
That was the short version, but I think it's just so, so representative of the dating world and how we come across so many people who don't see our worth and who want us to settle for the bare minimum, who don't want us to know our true worth and hide that from us. But when you come across a jeweler, they know your worth.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
and they let you have your high standards and they want to rise to the occasion and meet you where you are so you need to believe that you are lovable the girl didn't know that there was going to be a jeweler who accepts her two million dollar diamond but she kept walking anyway because she was not willing to settle for less and that's the mindset you have to have when dating don't settle, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And I also want you guys to think what helps me is like, would you let your future daughter or your younger self go through these things, settle for these bare minimum excuses of men? You know what I mean? You have to truly believe that you are lovable, truly believe that you are worthy of the best and highest form of love. And one way to do this is is to practice self-love.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And I have my whole other episode where I focus on self-love directly, but it really does just speak volumes to me because self-love is truly just healing your self-concept. And your self-concept is the idea that however you view yourself is how other people view you as well. So if you believe you're worth that two million dollars, other people will see that worth as well.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
If you know you're a high value woman, other people will know you're a high value woman and you will attract other high value people into your life. But if you are treating yourself poorly, if you believe you're unlovable, if you think you are worthy of so little, that's what you will get in return. And when it comes to dating, again, I want you to realize that you don't need anyone.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
You have yourself. The girl didn't absolutely need someone to take her diamond, right? She kept walking until she came across someone who was the right fit, who knew how to hold her love. But again, when it comes to self-concept, I need to remind you, how can you expect someone to love you if you don't know how to love yourself?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
This ties back into my self-love episode, so I won't ramble about it for too long. But if you don't know how to love yourself or take care of yourself, how do you expect someone else to? Also, when it comes to dating, I want you to break your toxic cycles. So whatever happened in your past relationship, whatever hurt you, I need you to fully heal from that.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And that was something that I kind of struggled with. Now I'm in therapy. talking about past relationships, past traumas, things like that because I want to make sure I am fully healed as well. I'm going to do my part and hold myself accountable so that I'm not getting involved with someone else and hurting them because I was hurt from my last relationships. That's not fair.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I know some of you guys, maybe you are taken and you're in a relationship and you're like, why would I listen to this? I have a lot of advice for you as well. Maybe you've never gotten a date. I know some of you guys who listen might be younger or just a little less experienced when it comes to that realm. I have stuff for you. I have stuff for the people who are certified man haters, boy haters.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I think it's only fair for both parties on both ends to heal themselves properly in order to come together as one But that's where it gets a little tricky when you see someone who keeps jumping from relationship to relationship. This is because they are avoiding doing the inner healing. They're avoiding that reflection that you have to do before each relationship.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And they are honestly just kind of snowball affecting themselves. So make sure you don't do that, please, for the sake of you and the other person involved. Also, stop dating for types. Okay, like stop dating by habit. Maybe you typically go for the bad boy or the jock or whatever and you're so attracted to a certain kind of person. Typically, this is a pattern that's a reflection of ourselves.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
If you keep going for people and they end up treating you poorly every time, that might be something that you need to focus on. You need to heal this part of yourself because now you've created a pattern and you almost like maybe the chase that goes into it or the toxicity that goes into it. You need to heal that part of yourself.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Another crucial piece of advice I have is to stop dating for potential. This kind of ties into the I can fix him mentality, but just being like, well, one day he's going to be really rich and he's going to take care of me. Or one day I know when he's less stressed out, he'll be able to give me more attention. One day this, one day that. Stop dating for potential and focus on the now.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Again, if you guys are meant to be, you have to trust that you will find each other when you're ready. But if it's not aligning right now, if they are not able to give you what you need, you shouldn't have to ignore those needs. And stop holding on for the idea that someone might treat you a certain way or be a certain way, achieve certain things. It's not going to happen.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
There is no guarantee it can happen. And you have to look at the person who you are dating or pursuing or talking to and ask yourself, if this person proposed to me tomorrow, Would you say yes? And would you see yourself having a successful, happy, loving marriage, pursuing a family, things like that?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
If your answer is no, you need to reevaluate this person because I truly believe you should stop wasting your time when it comes to holding on to this false hope. Love is never a good enough reason to
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
to stay with someone and that might be a tough pill to swallow okay i didn't understand the suffers right because i was in a relationship where of course i loved them but it was so so horrible for me this is so hard to wrap your mind around but love does not equal compatibility Having things in common does not equal compatibility.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Having chemistry or a history with someone does not equal compatibility. And that's when we find ourselves stuck in toxic relationships is because we get so attached to this person and you've been through so much together, why walk away now? They love me, I care about them.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
That's not a good enough reason to stay because if you aren't happy or you're being treated poorly or your needs are not getting met, you can try as hard as you want, but we can't ignore that. We can't ignore that. You need to learn how to walk away when something is no longer serving you. And again, maybe I should make a more focused breakup episode because this isn't just about breakups.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
They don't want to date again. Even this video will will be beneficial to you so stay tuned but before we dive in i want to give you guys a quick analogy that just really sticks out to me i want you guys to imagine you have this pair of shoes in your head and you are going everywhere looking for them maybe they are hot pink vintage dior suede pumps right and you want these shoes so so bad
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Also, when it comes to rejection and everything, you have to remember that you're chasing a feeling and not a person. You are so obsessed with the idea of love and the idea of having someone who cares about you and likes you that when it's not working out, we become so blind to it. And we also begin to associate that feeling with that person.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And we think that if we get this person, that's the only outcome of love we will get. When really there's love all around us. There are so many fish in the sea. You can get literally anyone, anywhere. You can get anyone you want. So start treating yourself like that.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
You know, I feel like when we start talking to someone and we become so invested in them, we start acting like they're our only chance for love, our only chance for relationship. The possibilities are quite literally endless. So again, if it's not serving you, it's okay to take a step back. Again, with dating, never, ever, ever beg someone to see you or notice you or give you their time or energy.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
They will give that to you if they want to and if they have the room for you in their life. If not, again, it's like the shoe analogy that I mentioned earlier. Stop trying to put on a shoe that doesn't fit, right? Stop trying to put yourself in this box, right? Imagine everyone has boxes that hold their love and their capacity for relationships and for you and your box is
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
might be so much bigger than the other person. So just because you have all of this love to give doesn't mean they have the same. And if they have this teeny tiny box, you cannot shrink yourself down trying to fit into their box because that box isn't gonna grow. Either you're gonna get smaller or you need to go find a new box. And they
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
fit so easily into your box you have all this love to give almost like you don't have enough places to pour it you need to pour that energy back into yourself babes because you're not fitting in their box but one day that perfect shoe that perfect box is going to come along but you can't go searching for it you can't go trying on every single shoe It will find you.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Also when it comes to dating, I think just focusing on your feminine energy is so, so important. I have a whole video on feminine energy, but essentially when we are going out chasing and searching and doing the pursuing and bending over backwards trying to win over these men, you're in your masculine energy. And one thing about relationships is both people can't be equally in their masculine.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I think either the guy becomes the feminine energy or the woman is the feminine energy. And this has nothing to do with like styles. No, like actual masculine and feminine energy. We have both inside of us. I have my whole episode on this. You need to find someone who is secure in their masculine energy and they are willing to pursue you and take care of you.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Your job is to do the nurturing and the feeling and the loving. Emotions are our biggest superpower as women. So again, like I said earlier, stop playing the game. Stop pretending like you don't care and stop doing the chases.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
stand in your feminine energy and you will become so magnetic also stop looking for your husband or your boyfriend at the club typically you're not going to find him there you need to put yourself in positions where you are open to receiving people who share the same interests or hobbies as you so for example one great one would be going to the library if you like books i've heard people say they go looking for their husband at home depot which honestly that's so real um you know
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
going to a cafe and working, going to the beach, going to even the gym. You could meet people with such like-minded, you know, morals at the gym, right? Because you're both there, you're like taking care of yourself, things like that. If you take care of yourself and if you do the things that you love, the right person will find you. You don't have to go looking for it.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
So when you're giving out this desperate energy, you are almost repelling the magnetic energy within you. If you're like, me, me, me, I need this, I need that, and you are trying to like grasp on to every single thing that comes away, you're going to scare away the love. There's the analogy of a butterfly, right?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
If a butterfly is flying and you run and you're trying to catch it, it's going to keep trying to fly away. Maybe you even will catch it, but you're going to crush it because you're holding onto it so tightly, right? You can't confine a butterfly. You're going to crush its wings.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
But the way that a butterfly will come and find you is if you work on planting your garden, watering your flowers, giving them sunlight, taking care of it, right? Working on your own self-love, the butterfly then comes and will land in your garden and it will stay there because you've built something so beautiful and stable and wonderful.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And you haven't seen them in person anywhere, but you have this idea of it in your head that is so perfect, so great. And so you go thrifting like all the time. Every time you go thrifting, you are just so dialed in on finding this one pair of shoes, these Dior heels that you just want so badly all over your Pinterest boards. You are manifesting these heels, right?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
So focus on self-love, focus on communicating your needs from the beginning, not shrinking yourself down, not trying to play it cool or play hard to get, but being honest and open and just being the most authentic, true version to yourself and the right love will find you, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And never ever lower your standards because if a man is treating you like you're replaceable, if he's treating you like you're ordinary and if he's not making you feel like you are the most beautiful, special woman in the world, if you have to
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
question how he views you or if he knows your true worth that's enough for you to assess the situation and see if you need to make the decision to walk away because i promise you you are special you are worthy of the best kind of love there are so many people out there and just because Your friends might be dating and all in relationships. That's not a good enough reason.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Just because he's cute and you think that no one else that cute will ever like you again, that's not a good enough reason. You have to truly know that you are cherished and valued by this person to pursue a future or a relationship with them. I promise you, you are worthy of the highest kind of love because I see you.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
and you are here and you being here shows that you want to be with someone who is worthy of your love who is just as special as you are and who sees how special you are and you will find that okay don't forget to follow the podcast at hot unbothered on instagram and tiktok follow me on my socials at brianna gomez with two b's i do have a group chat for support on instagram if you guys ever need to talk about anything don't forget to leave a podcast review for the chance to be featured in next week's episode i love you guys so so much and happy valentine's day i'll see you next free day
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Bye.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And you're in the thrift store and you're looking everywhere for these heels. You're not even looking down any other aisles that aren't the shoe aisle, aren't the heel aisle. And you are just ignoring everything.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
every other pair of shoes in the thrift store walking straight past it not even looking at them not even trying them on because you are so hyper fixated on these pink dior heels maybe one day you do find the heels okay but the heels they are a size six right and you wear a size eight shoe
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And you try and try so hard to fit into this pair of shoes that isn't fitting for you, but they're the shoes that you wanted for so long. And you're trying to cram your foot into the shoe and it's just not a match. You're not Cinderella. It doesn't work out, but maybe you might even buy them anyway, because they're the shoes you want and you swear you're going to find a way to make it work.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
If you are new here, my name is Brianna Gomez and I am your host of Hot and Unbothered, the ultimate place to be if you are looking to unlock the highest version of yourself, to start visualizing your dream life and showing up as her every single day. The whole point of this podcast is I want us to take out the space between our dream ideal selves
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
And you wear these shoes and they're hurting you and they're digging into your feet and they're giving you blisters and your feet are bleeding and You're getting shin splints and everything is just horrible about these shoes, but you wanted them for so long and you tried so hard to get them that you just can't let them go even though it's clearly not a match. It's clearly not the perfect fit.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
These shoes are clearly not your size. You need a shoe that's going to fit a bigger foot.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
but this shoe can only hold so much capacity so now your feet are hurt and bleeding and you don't want to wear any other shoes ever again because your feet need to recover before you put on another pair but what you missed when you're walking by is this beautiful pair of red vintage cowboy boots and they're like so rare authentic genuine leather and you walk straight past them and you didn't know
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
but they are just your size and they're so comfortable and they take care of you and they get you far and they don't hurt you, but you walked past those shoes, missed out on them and they're your size, but you were too fixated on trying to make something work that wasn't fit for you. So this is not about shoes. If you didn't get the analogy, we'll dive into it.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
But basically I'm saying stop trying to make situations work that aren't meant for you. Stop trying to force yourself into situations that clearly just aren't happening, but you just like the idea of it, so to speak. I have a lot to say about this, but before we dive in, I'm going to share a podcast review. Today we have Holly. She said, Thank you for this podcast. Lately, I've been struggling.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I've come to the realization that I've surrounded myself with so many toxic attributes. You and your podcast have made me see clearly. Thank you for showing me what I'm worth and how to recognize that. I appreciate you so much. You tell me to name three things I'm grateful for, and finding this podcast is always one of them. Thank you, Bree.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Thank you for saving me from the toxic circle I've realized I'm too good for. Holly, I am so, so happy that you found this podcast and that you had this realization. Again, I truly believe that every single one of you who comes across this episode is meant to be here, and I'm so, so happy you are. I just want to say thank you, and I'm so happy for you for realizing your true worth.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
That was a review from my last episode, the friendships one, but I think this applies definitely to this episode as well. So let's dive straight in. I want to start by sharing some lies that I think we tend to believe when it comes to just dating and knowing your worth.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Let's go through the lies so you can clear your mind of these self-limiting beliefs and you can jump to knowing what you're worth. So number one lie is...
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
is that you need to play this game that is so popular in this day and age and it drives me crazy so this could be the dating game or like the trying to play hard to get game or not responding for two hours because he took one hour to respond to you like all of these games
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
drives me crazy oh my goodness but just the whole try not to care act at the end of the day you should never have to hold back make yourself less shrink yourself down love less because you're trying to fit someone else's capacity like the shoe story if you are too big and too full of love and light and life to fit into someone's life they can find less but never ever ever Act like you are less.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
our present selves and teach you guys how to show up as her every single day and a huge huge aspect of that is love love for yourself love for your friends romantic love love for life and today is Valentine's Day if you're watching this the day I release it so happy Valentine's Day to all of you guys Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday and I need you guys to take the bitterness out of Valentine's Day okay if you're sitting there like I hate relationships I'm single I don't have a boyfriend I hate love blah blah blah
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Act like you are too cool to try and win someone else's attention or affection or find a place in their life. That will never do you good. There's the book Why Men Love Bitches, I think, and a lot of people were very fixated on that book for a while and it's all about, you know, the deep, dark, feminine energy and...
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
how to, I don't know, just win him over by acting like you don't care, essentially. I don't know. I never read the book, but I've seen tips from it and I just don't agree with all of them because at the end of the day, if you are pretending to be this cool girl, someone who doesn't care, one, that's just going against like what we're made to do.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I feel like the whole point of life is to love and to find someone who can hold your love. So essentially shrinking yourself down and pretending not to care when you really do
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
will never be good for you and that will make you really upset and also what's gonna happen when you do hypothetically end up in a relationship with this person after playing it cool for so long and now they got used to you not needing their attention not wanting certain things from them just like being too cool and then you suddenly are actually a little bit crazy and obsessed they're gonna be like what and they don't know how to step up to those standards that you set for yourself
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
When you play the game, when you shrink yourself down, when you act like you don't care, you are setting the standard that you are low maintenance. When really, it's okay to be high maintenance and need certain things and have certain standards. Also, take away that whole construct that the chase is fun. It might be fun for a little bit, you know? It might give you something to look forward to.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
It might build that anticipation, release a certain amount of dopamine inside of us when he texts back. But the chase of, like, going back and forth, not knowing whether or not he likes you, there's that in, like, the sense of girlhood, you know? He likes me. He has a crush on me. I'm texting him. I'm calling him. I'm going on a first date. That is awesome. I love that part of dating.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
However, when it becomes toxic and it's like you guys are blocking each other and ignoring each other and doing all this stuff, breaking up, getting back together, saying you don't want to be together and then still...
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
no no no no the chase is fun temporarily but in the long run like don't you want something stable so that's a lie also a huge lie is that being in love means relying on each other not being able to live without the other person like this person is the air that you breathe this person is your other half this person is attached at the hip with you no
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
That is this construct of love that we have developed. However, it's not a healthy way to be in a relationship. That whole he completes me or she's my other half thing, it's beautiful, right? That might mean love for some people. But what happens if you have to go a day without this person? Well, now you don't know how to function. And now you've placed all your eggs in one basket, so to speak.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
You became so invested in this person, so attached to this person, so dependent on this person. What happens if, God forbid, you break up? What happens if they need to go on a business trip? Or they're busy one day when you wanted to hang out? Now you're so invested with this person that you don't know how to be on your own. And I feel like this is really common in first relationships.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
You know, you see them start dating and then they spend every single day together for a week straight and they can't go anywhere without their boyfriend. Suddenly they're bailing on all their friends or not going anywhere unless this guy's there. And I've been guilty of that too in my first ever relationship. That is not the way it should be. A healthy, genuine relationship is when two people
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
healed and completed people no one's perfect obviously but you want to be healed and in a good position to give and receive love right two whole people come together and they join each other it's never supposed to be two halves making a whole because if there's two halves and they join together to mesh into a perfect circle How do you separate those two?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
You know, because each one will feel broken and empty again without the other. You need two wholes who come together and they create a beautiful relationship, not two halves completing each other and relying off of each other. Of course, you can lean into your partner.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
You can rely on them for certain things, depend on them, you know, confide in them, but don't get to that point where you don't know how to live without this boy that you just met. Okay? Another lie is he says he likes me so he must like me. Or he says he loves me so he must love me. He says he cares about me and he would never hurt me so that's not what he's doing.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
There are so many different ways to celebrate Valentine's Day, so if you are not taken this Valentine's Day, don't worry because there are so many other ways. I have other episodes.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
You need to look at the actions. I know you've heard this before. Your mom probably told you this growing up that actions speak louder than words, but it is so, so true. And we need to pay attention to that because as women, we fall in love with what we hear.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
There's that whole saying that like women fall in love with what they hear, men fall in love with what they see, which really we should be in falling in love with the actions that go with it because you need to remind yourself words mean nothing if there is no action that follow. Someone can tell you that they love you, right?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
My toxic ex, he said he loved me, he said he cared about me, but he treated me like I was nothing. That's not okay. So you need to pay attention to how people treat you and if their actions are matching their words. Because people can talk all they want, but if they don't have the actions to back it, it means nothing. Also, take away that I can fix him mindset. Okay, we need to get rid of that.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I feel like that's so common in girls because we have this internal maternal nurturing instinct and we love to be problem solvers. But at the end of the day, it's not your job to fix him for the next girl. It's not your job to be his mother, okay? You need to find someone when the timing is right, okay? Even if you love this person, if you are meant to be, it will happen when the timing is right.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
It's not your job to clean up their act. It's not your job to raise them or teach them how to treat you, okay? You do not need to fix him. That's not your responsibility. It's not in the job description Okay, also take away the mindset of like there's no one like him. He's so special.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I'm never gonna find anything like this babes He's only special because you're making him special like you are the special aspect. You are the prize I need you to stop being like oh like I don't want to walk away from this because like What if no one likes me like that again? What if I never find anyone who has these traits that he has? Clear your mind of that, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
I did a little Valentine's Day series the past three weeks, so I did self-love, friendship love, like love and female friendships, finding a healthy inner circle, attracting your people, attracting healthy friendships in your life, and then today we are getting into what people think when they think Valentine's Day, which is typically...
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
He's only special because you decided he was special in your head. And I can do a whole other episode on breakups and like knowing it's not the right person because I think that deserves its own episode. But I just wanted to throw that in here because that's a huge aspect when it comes to dating is realizing that you are the reason that they are special.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Another lie that I need you to clear your mind of is I need to change myself so they will like me. You never, ever, ever have to pretend to be someone you're not, have to change things about yourself. I feel like especially growing up, high school, even middle school, you can start...
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
trying to dress a certain way, act a certain way, talk a certain way, portray yourself under a certain light so that someone will like you. Maybe so you have more things in common with them so that they find you attractive. That is never the way to go because you will never be happy again if you have this facade on even if they do fall for you
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
you're not internally happy because you're not staying true to yourself. I saw someone say that the most highest form of vibration and of frequency that humans have is our authenticity and I just thought that was so beautiful and such a beautiful reminder to never ever change yourself for anyone. And this can go for relationships, family, friends, jobs, but never ever ever change yourself
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
to be attractive or lovable to someone else. The right person will see you as you are and they will love you. Last lie I want you to clear your minds of is that a man's actions are a reflection of you or your worth, which is so far from the truth. I've seen people be like, oh like he's not texting me back. It's because he doesn't like me. He doesn't want to date me.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
It's because I'm not good enough. That is so far from the truth. I've learned that men do things typically based off of readiness and their position in life opposed to like actually how they feel about you. You could be the perfect girl for him. If he's not ready, he will not know how to hold your love. He will not know how to properly pursue you and care for you if he's not ready.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
So don't pay attention to his actions and correlate it to your own worth. That has nothing to do with each other. I want to just kind of touch a little bit more on self-worth. So I do have my pink diamond theory. I'll go over it super quickly. This is a theory that completely changed my mindset. It's my signature mindset or theory metaphor for our podcast. It's the pink diamond theory.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
So essentially,
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
there was a little girl and her father gave her a pink diamond that was beautiful and rare and he said go take this to the village when they ask you how much it costs for the diamond hold up just two fingers so the daughter runs to the village first she goes to the bakery when she holds out the diamond he asks how much and she holds up two fingers to the baker the baker says two dollars i'll take it the daughter knows that this gem is not worth just two dollars
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
romantic love and dating so there's a few actually a lot of things i have to say about dating i've done my time i've been in the toxic long-term relationships i've gone on a couple like more casual dates and now i am in a happy stable relationship. So I definitely say I have a lot of perspective when it comes to relationships.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
So she walks away, takes her diamond elsewhere. Then she goes to the antique store. When the antique store owner asks how much for the diamond, the girl holds up just two fingers and the man says, $200 for this diamond, kind of a lot, but I'll take it. The daughter knows that the diamond is still worth far more than this and that her diamond will not be valued here. She keeps going.
Hot and Unbothered
the ONLY dating advice you will ever need to hear: attract the love you deserve & know your WORTH
Finally, she goes to the jeweler. When the jeweler is presented the diamond, he asks how much. The daughter holds up just two fingers and he says $2 million. That is a fair price for such a rare stone. I will take it." The jeweler takes this diamond and he cares for the diamond and he cherishes it because he knows its true worth.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
if you want to learn how to level up your life and unlock the hottest highest and healthiest version of yourself this is the podcast for you welcome to today's episode of hot and unbothered Hello beautiful people and welcome back to my podcast.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Oh, no contact. No contact is a huge one. That is what literally I think saved me from moving on from my last relationship because I always try to give people second chances.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I always wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe he would heal and grow up and I will then see the healed and perfected version of him once he knows who he needs to be and show up for me and then I will let that person in. Girl, there's a reason why it didn't work out. There's a reason why. And don't go back.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Sometimes I feel like when you walk away from someone and when you break up, don't look back. And whether you broke up with him or he broke up with you, take it as a blessing because there's a reason. And don't try to beg someone to see you. Never, ever, ever do that. People will show you exactly how they feel about you and when they do, don't try to paint a different picture.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Don't try to change their mind and prove your worth to them. That is the last thing that you need to do because the right person, again, will see you where you are and they will want to meet you there and be ready for you and know how to hold your love. I'm going to ask you a question.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
If you're in a garden one day and a snake comes up and it bites you, are you going to go run after the snake, chase after it, grab it, pick it up and shake it and be like, why did you do this to me? Why did you bite me? Or are you going to run away from the snake, book it the other direction so you can go get help, so you can go heal, so you don't die from the snake bite?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I think I know the answer because if you pick up the snake and you're asking it, hey, why did you do that to me? It's going to bite you again and again and again and again until you learn your lesson and stop going back to the snake. So that's why I think never go back. Putting yourself in the position of asking the snake, hey, why did you do this to me?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Breakups are never easy and I want you to know whatever you're going through, you are not braving the storm alone. There are so many other girls going through the exact same thing right now. I'm here for you. I've been through the same thing and just remember that we can all lean on each other and I'm glad you're here because this is the first step to your healing journey and I will get you there.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Is giving it the chance to hurt you over and over, right? And it's the same thing with relationships. If you are searching for answers, why did this happen? And I'm guilty of this too, right? I just want to know, why did you hurt me? Why did you... act like you were going to be with me forever or whatever the situation is.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Let it be is the best thing that you can do because how are you going to move forward if you're constantly turning around to look for answers, to ask what happened, to see what they're doing, to see if they're going to come back for you. Girl, keep looking forward. Stop searching for answers and also I think no contact is a maze. That's what fully healed me.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Like you have to give yourself some time. Of course you're not going to heal if you're constantly checking their Instagram following, if you're seeing if they texted you. I'm a
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
big believer in the blocking if it's a toxic relationship if it's messy I'm a big believer in that or at least mute them so you don't see their stuff so you don't see if they text you something that helped me when I was sitting at my phone every single day waiting to see if he texted me go on do not disturb because then I was checking my phone every single second no go on do not disturb less time on your phone focus on you but I just think that the ultimate way to heal is no contact because again how are you supposed to heal if part of you is still clinging on to this person
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Even if it weren't a messy breakup, you can have a soft spot in your heart for that person. You can hold love for them, but at the same time, you have to keep moving forward. And if you're so focused on what the past was, how are you supposed to have any shot at the future? And something that I learned from my therapist, actually, is you have to learn how to hold two truths for some people, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Maybe you do still love this person. Maybe you have these beautiful memories. You went through so much together, but you can hold that truth while at the same time recognizing that this person maybe hurt you, that this person could not choose you, that there are reasons why you are breaking up, that they maybe did you wrong, or maybe they're just not your person right now. Now's not the time.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Hold those two truths, right? Because one, yes, they are contradictory. That's why you have to hold them separately. Because we go through this constant battle in your head. Well, like I love them, but they hurt me and I don't want to be with them and we can't be together, but I want to and maybe in the future, but not right now. We're just going back and forth and driving yourself crazy.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Hold those two truths, right? You can recognize that they aren't the person for you right now, but maybe you guys did have something special, but now is not the time. And that's where the healing comes in. You have to heal. Healing is so important. So don't go jumping into another relationship immediately after. Don't go on your dating apps and texting boys and going feral for all the attention.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Don't go hooking up with people because that is not going to help you heal. The only way that you can truly heal from a relationship is by looking inwardly. Because when you're in a relationship, especially if it's a super codependent one. You were truly giving a piece of yourself to that person and you kind of might feel a little hole in your heart, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Because they were part of you for so long. You don't fill that hole with other people. You fill that hole with fulfillment from yourself. And I feel like people often go trying to date other people and distract themselves, but you have to date yourself. That is truly the answer. And of course, lean on friends, lean on family, be vulnerable with them, be honest with them.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I promise. I'm going to share a quick podcast review and then we're going to dive in to the heartbreak, to how you're going to get over it. to how you're going to heal, to how you're going to get through the foreseeable future because I know right now it feels like the end of the world. It feels like you're not going to get past this.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
You can always confide in those people. And that's a great way to heal. But at the same time, you have to work on filling that hole with yourself. Because if we're just looking at distractions, you're never really... filling the hole. You're never really healing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
You have to truly dig that out, dig out the hurt, dig out the things that you went through and just reflect and live through it and feel it and grieve it. And that will honestly help you so much because if you don't, it just piles more and more distractions on top of it until it all just breaks down. So I don't recommend doing that. Definitely heal, work through those things. It will take time.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
You need to wait it out, but just remember that this will pass. It's not going to pass as quickly as you would hope or as quickly as you would think it's going to pass, but I promise you it will pass. And one day you're going to wake up and you're going to be like, hey.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
i'm ready to move forward hey i didn't wake up and instantly want to check if this person texted me i didn't check their page i didn't cry myself to sleep first thing at night it will pass when you least expect it but don't focus on the timeline just focus on your healing journey with yourself and i promise before you know it it will get better and i have a list of some things that i think will really help you number one
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Limit social media when you're going through this because at least checking their page and stuff like that, never really good. And seeing stuff of other relationships or stuff that reminds them or seeing them in someone else's legs. No, just limit the social media, set a screen time.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Even better if you could delete social media, go on mute, go ghost for just a little bit, just so you can really take that time to reflect on yourself and feel all your feelings. Another thing is get creative. Pick up a hobby, pick up some sort of skill, something like that. Because again, distracting yourself with fun, fueling things is a great way to date yourself.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Focusing on something that you truly enjoy. Maybe you like to write music. Writing music and poems and just inspirational, artistic things really helps me anytime I'm going through a heartbreak or anything like that. Even in my notes app, I love that. Of course, journaling. Of course. Even drawing, coloring books.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
things like that, or even getting active, going to the gym, working on yourself, taking a fun class. A dance class is a beautiful way to just focus on yourself and do it in an artistic way. Gardening, just something that is a new hobby to pick up that's fueling your soul and also keeping your mind off of it is really fun.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And again, it's okay to feel these feelings, but start expressing them through art and creativity instead of bottling them up. Channel this anger that you have into a boxing class. Channel this sadness that you're feeling into a song you're going to write. There's so many different ways to channel whatever you're feeling. Also, this one's a little crazy.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
It feels like you don't even want to wake up in the morning because you don't want to have to bear this emotion, but I promise it gets better and I'm going to tell you exactly how. Let's share a podcast review. Today I have one from Freya. Freya said, words cannot express how grateful I am for you, Brianna.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
If you're feeling super lonely and if you have the means to, you could adopt a pet. Maybe I'm not saying a full on cat or dog, but like a fish or a hamster, something like that could be fun. And if not a plant, I think a plant would be something so, so fun. I actually have a cactus. I'm going to show you guys. I've never showed you this cactus. I've had this cactus.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I'm not even kidding for probably at least four years minimum, but maybe even longer. And she's cute. I think I had a name for my last one. I feel like his name was Phillip. I don't know.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
but having a plant or something to take care of is so fun or go buy yourself flowers of course make a beautiful bouquet but having something fresh and full of life just in your space is a reminder that you are here and you are living and just to be present and that you're taking care of something and it's growing
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
and learning and thriving in just the same way you are and it needs care and nourishment in just the same way you do and it also helps us gives us something to look forward to something living in life like to see and give us company volunteering if you want i think a great way to give back while also just filling your heart almost is volunteering you can go feed the homeless you can volunteer at an animal shelter
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
or an aquarium museum something like that just volunteering look at different charities near you or maybe some sort of community organization but knowing that you're making a difference is really really empowering i just love doing things that make me feel good or even making little care package goodie bags to give out to the less fortunate Things like that. I don't know.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I think that it's just a great time. Right now, maybe your heart's feeling a little empty. That will fill it. Giving back will fill it. And it's so nice. And you could do this by yourself with friends. It's really fun. Also, plan a spontaneous trip. You could do a little solo trip. A little solo time, but be safe, obviously. But I know people who have gone to other states. Literally solo.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Of course, be safe. Tell people you're going.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
make sure you have all the means necessary or just with your best friends or your family member or your sister like anything like that you guys can just do a day trip maybe down to a city near you or you can totally take a flight just do something spontaneous and fun and it's so refreshing just to be in a new place with new surroundings and just feel like new again right because maybe when you're home you're thinking of all the things that reminded you
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
of your previous partner but now you're in a new place experiencing new things new foods new excursions and there's so much more out there and i think that traveling is the perfect reminder that there is so much more than what you knew in your previous relationship there's a whole world out there for us to see people for us to meet and things to experience and i think it's the perfect reminder honestly and it's so cleansing after my last relationship
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I went on a cabin trip with my friends and we didn't plan it for the breakup. It just kind of worked out that way. Going on that trip is what made me realize that I was over it, that I didn't want to go back to that person. I got a lot of good girl time, a lot of good girl advice, and just being in nature on a ranch surrounded by animals.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Your podcast has had such an influence on me and you deserve so much more recognition for the amazing work you do. I've tried to listen to so many podcasts before but consistently kept coming back to yours. You're so easy to listen to and your advice has genuinely helped me so much. I'm certain so many other people would say the same. Please keep going with your work. You're an angel.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And we went to Yosemite and I saw all of God's beautiful gifts and blessings in the world. And I'm like... Maybe there is more to this world than my high school relationship. And it literally healed me. And I realized when I came back, that's when I told him, I don't think we should talk anymore. I don't think all that stuff. And it beautiful. Another great one is to practice gratitude.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And on that note, practicing gratitude is such a powerful way to live and to heal. Because when we are going through a breakup, it's really easy to mope around and be like, why did this happen to me? Things like this always happen to me. People always break my heart. No one ever stays, girl. You are so fortunate. I don't know your situation, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
But you have a way to be listening to this right now. So you have some sort of device where you're listening to this. I'm sure most of us have a roof over our head, some sort of food in our pantry or our fridge. You must have eaten or drank water today. You are so, so lucky.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And take the time to look at the world around you, like I was saying, and just be so grateful for all that God has given us in this world. You were not meant to focus on this one boy for the rest of your life. That's just not the truth, girl.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
there is so much for you in this world so just be grateful practice gratitude do it in your journal do it out loud do it in a prayer do it in a meditation but be grateful and even find gratitude for the hard things that you went through although my last ex was a little cray to say the very least i can be grateful for what had happened to me because i'm so grateful for everything that i learned i learned so much in that relationship and i learned what i will never tolerate
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
ever again sometimes you need a big blowout crazy relationship to teach you never doing that now I know the red flags now I know how I'm gonna love myself now I know what I deserve and I know that I deserve so much more than what I went through and although I feel so bad for my last self I found forgiveness for that version of myself who accepted those things to happen to me
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And now I'm taking this as a lesson. You can either take that as a scar or you can take this as a lesson and you're going to move forward and you can help so many people. Giving breakup advice is one of my favorite things to do now, right? And I feel like I've learned so much perspective, gained so much insight to now hopefully help you guys. I don't know. Hopefully this is a good episode.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Hopefully you found that it's somewhat helpful.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
some regard so I pulled some affirmations for you guys that I think will really help in your healing and detaching journey and just really to look inwards towards yourself in this season of life for you so go ahead either repeat after me write these down in a journal write them somewhere where you could see it every single day make it your lock screen but the affirmations are I release you from my life
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I do not seek the validation of others. I hold love and respect for my body. I do not seek to change others. I release the things that I have no control over. I forgive myself for my missteps. I only accept what I desire. I will grow from this. All seasons of life are beautiful. I am grateful for this opportunity of rapid self-growth. Nothing that is meant for me will ever pass me by.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Love you, girl. Freya. That's so sweet. Guys, the recognition that comes from you guys is so fulfilling. It warms my heart because I went through a heartbreak, right? Everyone always asks me, how do you know so much? How do you have this perspective? How do you know all this? How do you help so many people with this? It's because I went through. A heartbreak. I'm not even kidding.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Again, the ultimate recipe for healing is learning how to love, yes, the world around you, but learn how to love yourself. And there's a quote that I found from Eliza Grace and it said, I loved you more than I have ever tried to love myself. And if you're like me, you pour so much into your relationships and you just want to give, but pour that love back into yourself. Now is the time.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
We're so focused on giving to other people. That's why we feel the need to cling on to these relationships, to cling on to these people. But now you are free from that and it's your turn to love yourself like you keep trying to love other people, okay? It is your turn and I'm so happy for you in this journey. I know breakups are never fun.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
but I'm happy for you because this is the beginning of a brand new chapter, a brand new season of life for you. And a lot of us just need our single era just for a little bit. And I'm not saying go off the rails, but I'm saying it's your turn to love yourself the way that you are constantly loving others. I love you guys so, so much.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And we have a group chat that you can join so that you don't feel alone. Comment if it works because I know some people were saying they were having trouble joining it, but I will link it for you guys. Join that and you can always talk to me. I will always be here for you. And we're all here for each other. The Hot and Unbothered community is so strong and I'm loving it and we're growing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Again, don't forget to leave a podcast review for the chance to be featured in next week's episode. Follow me on all my socials at Brianna Gomez with two Bs on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat. I'm trying to be more active on there. Keep me accountable. We can be friends on there. Add the podcast at hotunbothered on Instagram and TikTok. I love you guys with truly all my heart so, so much.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And I will see you next free day. Bye.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
The hard things that you go through in life will literally shape you and shape your perspective and your insightfulness and your wisdom. So that is what's coming for you. I promise. But thank you so much for those kind words. Let's dive into heartbreak. I have no notes really for this because heartbreak is something that I have a lot to say about it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
One, I'm going to start by telling you, heartbreak is truly inevitable. At some point in time in your life, you are going to experience heartbreak and it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt so badly, again, like I was saying, where you feel like you don't know how you're going to wake up tomorrow. It is one of the worst feelings in life, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
If you are new here, my name is Brianna Gomez and I am your host of Hot and Unbothered, the ultimate podcast if you want to truly work on your healing journey, if you want to become the ideal dream version of yourself that you have on your Pinterest boards that you're writing and manifesting in your journal. I'm here to tell you how to do that and we're going to do it together.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
But I will tell you this, it's also one of the most beautiful things in life. Because although your heart may be broken, the way you're feeling right now is literal proof that you felt something beautiful, that you were vulnerable enough, confident enough, brave enough to let someone in, to form this connection with someone.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And that is something that you should be proud of yourself for because not a lot of people can do that. So many people in this world especially are so avoidant, they're so detached, they're so fake where they don't fully learn how to let a person in, but you did that. So round of applause for you because you did the hard thing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
The hard thing is learning to love someone and something that's also hard is learning to let them go. But give yourself some credit for the fact that you even felt this feeling to begin with. I know it hurts right now, but this hurt is proof that you did a brave and beautiful thing And you should never regret that.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
When we experience heartbreak, I feel like we instantly want to retreat to this place of regret. Never, ever regret loving someone, even if they hurt you. Don't regret it. Because again, love is such a beautiful thing. And I might sound naive. I might sound like a hopeless romantic or like some sort of love hippie. I think that love is so beautiful.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And even the people that hurt us, how beautiful is it?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
that you were able to love someone who's hurting that you were able to let someone in to see the beautiful side of them that is so telling of how beautiful your soul and your heart is and you don't deserve those bad things that happen to you of course you don't deserve to be sad but you were strong enough and brave enough to let somebody in and for that i am so proud of you and sometimes the risk that we take when we are becoming close to someone when we're letting them in when we're forming this connection
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
The risk that you're taking is, okay, this is either going to be the person that you're going to marry, who you're going to spend the rest of your life with, or it's going to hurt, okay? And that's just a risk that we take when we fall in love, when we get together with someone. That's what we're signing up for essentially.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And I think that's kind of something that you learn with time is that, okay, like even though this person isn't the one, I still can enjoy this relationship. I still had good times, right? There was something that you loved about that person that kept you there. There was something that was keeping you happy. So don't regret it and don't beat yourself up over it because heartbreak is so normal.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Honestly, I think that it might be a little silly of a perspective, but a lot of people say, now you're one heartbreak closer to finding the one. We're going to go through, most of us, multiple heartbreaks in our lifetime. And the more that you go through, the easier it gets sometimes.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And let me just tell you, I, from every single time I've gotten my heart broken in life, I learned so much and every single time I came out of it stronger. So I just want to give that encouragement to you that it might feel not so positive right now. You might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
So before we get started, go ahead and just buckle up for the ride. Commit to unlocking this highest version of yourself. Follow the podcast. You won't regret it. I promise. And we are all in it together. So keep yourself accountable by joining the community. If you clicked on this video, there's likely a reason that you clicked on it. Maybe you are going through some sort of heartbreak.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
but it will get better and i promise you there is something good coming out of it because in order to welcome new things into our life we have to let the old go and things that are meant for us will never escape us and if it's not yours it won't be yours but if it is meant for you it will never pass you by so learn how to let go learn how to detach and i promise you the right thing will happen so i'm going to start by telling you yes number one do not regret it but two
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Let yourself feel these feelings. I feel like a lot of people, they think that when they're getting their heart broken, it's a bad thing or an unhealthy thing, that they're feeling this way, that they're feeling so low, it's the end of the world. Girl, that is so normal. That is so normal.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Honestly, I'd be more freaked out by you if you weren't sad, if you weren't giving yourself some time to mope around. So one, let yourself feel all the feelings. That is the number one way of a healthy breakup because what you don't want to do is laugh it off.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
you do not want to just shrug it off brush it off your shoulder because then it's going to come back to bite you in the booty so the number one thing you need to do is to feel all the feelings don't try to suppress it because when we suppress our emotions eventually they're just going to build up and bubble up And they're going to explode and overflow. So that's what you don't want to do.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Just let yourself feel the feelings. Express it. Journal. Talk to yourself. Listen to the breakup playlist. Listen to the sad music. Watch the sad movies. This is honestly just part of grief almost. So you just have to let it happen, honestly. But I promise you, it will feel so good. I feel like some people, they try to play the tough card after their breakup. They try to put on a brave face.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I'm not heartbroken. I'm fine. It's okay if you're not fine. No one expects you to be fine. So just remember that you are totally welcome and totally safe to feel your feelings by yourself, with your friends, with your family. It is okay. And what comes with feeling these feelings is you get to a point of reflection.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Sometimes it's important to just be alone with your thoughts, feeling the feelings, listening to the sad music. but you realize a lot of things in this time period. And I know today it might feel like I'm just crying and moping around. I'm just sad about it. How could me losing this person be such a good thing? There is good coming out of it. I promise.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Again, it just takes a little bit of time, but you will learn how to reflect and alter your perspective. Maybe in your reflection, you are first thinking of all the good things. all the happy times, looking at the old photos of each other, thinking of all the cards and the sweet dates that he took you on. That's what happened to me. After my last breakup, I was like, oh, it was so good.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I'm so sad I miss him. Girl, BFFR, because I literally realized the whole time I had these rose-colored lenses on that were only looking at the good, right? There were things, trauma, that I was blocking out
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
when i was in the relationship and i was just suppressing it and then after getting out of the relationship i was realizing so many things i was realizing that i was treated poorly i was realizing that he was saying horrible things to me i went in my camera roll and i found these videos of him yelling at me doing horrible things that i don't even remember taking i think i have to do a separate episode on toxic relationships because that's a whole other playing field so
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Maybe you're feeling hurt.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
maybe you're feeling vulnerable and you just have some healing that you need to do maybe it was a long time ago maybe it just happened today so there are so many different scopes of heartbreak but we all go through that same hurt at some point sooner or later in our life so maybe you aren't even experiencing a heartbreak quite yet but this is some information that I wish someone told me before I went through my first heartbreak because gosh it will totally change your perspective and perspective is everything when it comes to your healing and heartbreak journeys I had a complete
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I won't dive too much into that right now, but what I'm saying is when you're in the relationship, of course you're looking at the good. Immediately after the relationship, of course you're looking at the good. But you need to remember there's a reason why you broke up. And I guarantee you this person wasn't perfect.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And something I need to tell you, and I'm going to hold your hand when you say this, they were only special because you made them special. They're just a regular person. They are literally just a regular person, but they are so special because you placed them on this pedestal. You made them all that in a bag of chips. You made them something that was so unattainable, so high and mighty.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Bring them back down, babes. You're not dating them anymore. You don't have to sugarcoat it. You don't have to lie to your friends to make him seem better than he actually was. Be honest with yourself, girlfriend. And I know it can be really tricky to take this person off a pedestal, but what helps is putting yourself on the pedestal instead.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
When we are in a relationship, especially if you're a lover girl like myself, it's easy for us to just make this person the focal point of the relationship. It's all about them. It was always all about them and how can you serve them? What do you do for them? But something that somebody asked me after I was going through my relationship with my ex...
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
He asked me, he was like, what did you bring to the relationship? And I was like, everything. I bought us food. I texted. I made the plans. I was such a good girlfriend to him. And then he was like, okay, now what did he bring to the relationship? I was speechless because I couldn't name you a single thing. And that was the biggest wake-up call for me.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
So sometimes you have to take them off the pedestal in order to bring yourself back to reality. And remember, they weren't that special. You are the special one. And you are the one who made them special in your eyes. They're just a regular person. And there, I know you're not in a place to be receptive to this right now. Some of you may not be. There are so many people out there.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
And I know some people don't want to hear that when they're going through a breakup. There are billions and billions of people in the world. And you think that this one is the best it's going to get. Like, I feel like a lot of my friends when I see them, they're like, oh, like, I don't know if I'll ever find someone who will look at me like that or do this for me or whatever.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
That person loving you and your relationship with that person is proof that, yes, someone out there does exist that will do these things for you, that will love you, that will care for you, that will date you. But that does not in any way mean that they are the only person for you. This is just the half of it. You are so young and you have so much to experience.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
This person is not your end-all be-all. I promise you. And I don't know what the reason is for your breakup, but I just want you to know that love is never a good enough reason to stay with someone. And I clung on to that so much in my last relationship, right? Well, I was like, well, we love each other. Isn't that enough? Why would you walk away from someone who loves you when you love them?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
That doesn't make sense to me. There is so much more to consider than love. Being in love is never, ever, ever a good enough reason to stay with someone. And I am passionate about this. There is so much more to consider, right? And sometimes you have to forget what you feel. And focus on what you deserve instead. Because you can be with the most beautiful person ever, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
They can be the total package. But maybe you guys just aren't compatible. Maybe they love you, right? And you have built this connection together. But maybe they just can't give you what you need right now and what you deserve. Being in love with someone is never enough. There's so much else to consider.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Compatibility, morals, future, how they treat you, what they're willing to give you, what they're willing to do for you. If they're going to be putting you first, there are so many other factors. And love... is just not the only one to consider. I can love a lot of things. I can love my mom. I can love the jelly cat behind me. I can love flowers. I can love the beach.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
But does that mean that I'm going to marry it and think that it's the only opportunity that I will ever get in my life?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
no and just because you love someone just because you get along maybe there's nothing blatantly wrong that's not a good enough reason you need to feel that this person truly values you and sees your true worth and sees your potential and is willing to meet you where you're at go listen to the pink diamond theory right now okay i'm not going to include it in this episode because i include it in every single episode but go listen
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
to the Pink Diamond Theory episode immediately after this one because you need to hear it, but you are a valuable pink diamond and so many people will come across you in their life and they might not see your true worth. They're going to try to keep you for less than what you deserve. And if you're willing to accept a love that is far less than what you deserve, then so be it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
But just know that you have the power to walk away and choose more and wait for the person that knows how to hold your love correctly. And if you come across someone and you ended up with someone who didn't know how to hold your love correctly, it is now your responsibility to say, you know what?
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
Completely different episode planned for today, but then I got a message saying, hi there, sweetie. I was wondering if you might make an episode on heartbreak. I'm going through a breakup right now, a longtime relationship. We were engaged, in fact. It's rough, but it's a clean breakup, but I desperately need an episode on this. Love your pod. Much love from Norway. I love you so much guys.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
I do deserve better and I'm not going to just settle for less, but I will keep moving and pour into myself the way that I want others to pour into me. I need you to start believing that you deserve more than just the bare minimum. That you deserve more than just being in love with someone. You deserve more than just the, well he loves me and I'm attached to him so I'm gonna stay here.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
No babes, no. If someone is stupid enough to walk away from someone as special as you, you have to be smart enough to let them go. Let them miss out on you. Be the one that got away. Be the one that they are regretting losing for the rest of their life because you hold the power. It is not anyone else's decision. They are only special because you made them special. You're not missing out on them.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
They are missing out on you. And if the timing is right and that is your person, then they will come back to you and they will prove their love to you. But if they are not your person, Let them go. It's the silliest saying, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be, but that. Stand on that because it's true. It truly is true. Remember that you are the prize.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
You should not be fighting for someone, grasping on for dear life, because if you have to chase after someone and beg them to be with you and prove why you are worthy of their love... Why do you want to be with them anyway? You should not have to chase and pull and run towards someone.
Hot and Unbothered
how to deal with a broken heart: healing guide to breakups/rejection
There is so much more to life than a man who cannot love you, than a man who cannot choose you, to a little boy who does not know how to articulate his feelings and show up for you and choose you every single day. There is so much more than that out there. I'm going to scream. I'm getting a little worked up. So how are we going to get to moving on? I want you guys to practice one thing.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
All of us have been there where we see that girl who looks like she has her life together. Maybe her hair is a certain way, her outfit is perfect, the way she carries herself is so elegant and so confident and you get home and you look at yourself and you're like, why am I not like that?
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Well, you deserve made plans set in advance. You deserve further notice and you deserve more effort. So it's so, so classy and chic. If you can just be like, actually, no, I have plans tonight. I have Pilates. I have whatever it may be. I have a date with my friends. Not being easily available and easily accessible helps guarantee that people have to put in the right effort in order to access you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Because being easily accessible is not the way to go. You do not need to be accessible and available for every single person, right? And especially when it's last minute. Classy girls don't do that. I'll tie that into the importance of having a schedule or routine. Just making sure that you will have a planner, things like that, everything laid out. I love filling my calendar.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So if someone wants to make plans, I'm like, wait, let me check my calendar. Let me check my planner. Make sure I have some time. Obviously, I don't mean if it's your best friend or something like that. Oh, sorry, I can't. I have a meeting at this time. I love doing that. Sometimes I get upset when I'm too booked and busy. I get a little overwhelmed sometimes. But sometimes, I absolutely love it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Obviously, there's a balance, 80-20 rule. But when you are being booked and busy, make sure you still keep time for yourself. And I'll dive into the self-care aspect as well. Another great way that helps with being booked and busy, having hobbies. A few chic hobbies that I... I'm going to take up hobbies. Mark my words, 2025, we're taking up hobbies, bringing hobbies back.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Obviously, I love working out. I go on walks. I like to take Pilates classes and yoga classes when I can. Highly suggest that. Just because something works for someone else, though, doesn't mean it's going to work for you. But move your body in some way. This is a way of self-care, but also just a way to take yourself on dates almost. Hobbies, though, are huge.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
We need enrichment time and we need time to better ourselves. You kind of want to be a jack-of-all-trades person. Having these unknown skills and talents.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
It's also such a fun fact So I want to take up ballet classes again scary But they do have adult ballet classes or there's other fun dance classes any kind of fitness class horseback riding I want to do horseback riding you can also volunteer volunteer at something that you have interest in maybe it's an animal shelter or feeding the homeless, cooking for people.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
There are endless options, but having something in your schedule, that just shows also that you're such a good person too. Having maybe a church group that you're involved in, just getting involved, I think that's a beautiful quality. Learning instruments, writing books, writing poetry, learning, studying, tutoring, painting, making pottery, making candles. It's
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
endless and i can do a whole episode on hobbies because something that i will stand by is you are never bored i have not been bored i kid you not in years i have not been bored in years because there is always a way you can grow there's always something better to do than lay in bed rotting and doom scrolling and what a classy that girl a pinterest girl would she lay in bed forever doing that
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
No, if you were having a down day and you need to let yourself rest, have some bedtime, that's okay. But get up, take a shower, wash your face, change your pajamas, light a candle, romanticize the experience instead of having a gross, bummy day. Practicing gratitude is another big one. I think that this is so powerful but so overlooked. Being grateful and having a truly grateful heart
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
and you have helped me so much to work through my problems. I love you so much, and I love how much you have helped me over the past two months. Thank you so much, Lily Jenkins. Lily, I am so proud of you, and I hope you know how deeply loved you are and how needed you are to this world. and how my podcast platform and this hot and unbothered community would not be the same without you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
is so, so admirable. When I can tell that someone truly has a love for life, I think that their energy is magnetic and it inspires me to love the world around me as well. Seeing someone who can be surrounded by negativity but remain positive is so beautiful. If everyone around you is like, oh this sucks or the weather's really bad or I hate my life, I hate this party, find the good.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Finding the good is is so, so amazing and I don't expect you to see the silver lining in everything. I don't expect you to be happy-go-lucky all the time, but be appreciative for every single interaction that you have. Gratitude will just bring so much more abundance. The way that you carry yourself completely does a 180 if you just learn
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
how to operate from love there is no lack in life if you are operating from love and instead of giving this desperate energy of i need this or this isn't good enough for me i hate this operate from love and you will instantly feel fulfilled and on the topic of activities you don't need to go out drinking and partying all the time just because your friends are lately That just hasn't been me.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I can appreciate a good time if I'm going out with friends every now and then and we are celebrating something. 80-20 rule, right? Don't cut out every single thing that's ever been enjoyable to you. But at the same time, there is no need to go feral. And I had my feral era. Don't you worry. I had the era. I kissed boys. I went out and drank and partied all the time. And it's not worth it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You're comparing, you are wondering why you're so disorganized, why your life isn't together in the same way, why you're so behind on all your projects, why you can't walk with that same confidence. Today is the day.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And you will reflect at the end of it and be like... I cannot believe I did all that. So please, save yourself the trouble because it is so much more fulfilling to have a wholesome night in or even instead of going out to a club, if you really want to drink, go out and have a glass of wine or champagne with your friends. Do things right.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
a more minor scale it does not need to be that crazy also I found that when I've been doing more wholesome activities I feel so much better about myself because no one likes the feeling after a big crazy night out you have the Sunday scaries anxiety you don't know what you did last night you feel Terrible, it's never worth it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
But last weekend instead I had the best time on Friday my boyfriend and I went to a park and we ate and we got food and then we played in the grass and I taught him how to do a handstand and I was like this is so wholesome and then I went to a gender reveal and we played pickleball and
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And I just had such a great weekend and we just got food and reflected and talked about life and everything was so amazing. And I didn't need any external factors. I didn't need the big, crazy, flashy party. It was so simple. But oftentimes we don't realize that simple and wholesome is so much better. Overall, taking care of your belongings in your space.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And this is an overlooked one, but taking care of your room. I need to work on that. I have a lot of clothes. My room gets really messy. Taking care of your bathroom, your car. your purse, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And even like taking care of your car, I don't mean just keeping it clean, but instead of letting the gas go until it's completely on empty, instead of waiting for it to be super messy before you clean it out, there are other things that you can do to make sure you're just on routine with taking care of your belongings because that kind of ties into the gratitude. We are so lucky.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
to have these blessings if you do have them yet we take advantage of them and a great way to make sure you're taking care of these things is romanticizing it right how lucky am i that i have a room so i'm going to decorate it and i want to keep it pretty and i'm going to light the candles i'm going to play my music and open my windows and put the cute blankets on because I'm so lucky.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And I'm so happy you're here, and I'm so happy that the podcast episodes resonate with you and that they help you. It's still unbelievable to me to this day that people actually listen to my podcast and like what I have to say, and that it helps them. So I just want to thank each and every one of you for being here today.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And having that feminine romanticism is a very classy quality. And just to summarize, being organized is huge. Knowing where all your things are, right? Instead of scrambling, trying to find your things, shaking out the bottom of your bag, If you have everything maybe in a little toiletry bag, all cute and wrapped up. Maybe you have your papers filed away.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You have designated spots and pouches for things in your purse. And also on top of being organized, being punctual is huge. I hate running late. Sometimes I'm a few minutes late for work and even when I'm running a few minutes late, it pains me. So maybe allow yourself some extra time. Wake up a little earlier. Feel more refreshed, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So you feel like you have more time to take care of yourself. Just be prepared. Show up on time. Even better, show up early. Something about being punctual, such a great quality to have. It shows that you care, you're respecting other people's time, and you're considerate. Because think of that girl who's running around and she does not have her life together.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You come in, you're stumbling, your stuff's falling out of your bag, you didn't have time to eat breakfast or do your hair, right? But if you really take the time and take everything as a regimen, the getting ready, the eating your breakfast, even enjoying the drive playing a nice podcast, use everything as a regimen, as a routine, as a ritual, and enjoy and be intentional with your time.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Intentionality is a Huge, huge, huge one. I try and be intentional or I'm working on being intentional with everything in my life. When I'm sitting and talking to you guys, I want to be intentional. When I'm sitting and talking with a friend, I want to be intentional and I want to be curious. I want to be present, be there with them, ask them things about themselves and their lives.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
It's so easy and it makes such a difference. I think I forgot to say in terms of being compassionate and considerate, complimenting others. Such an easy way to spread love and positivity and it shows that you're not jealous. A lot of us automatically resort to a feeling of jealousy when we see someone has something that we like.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Maybe it's their outfit's super cute or they're just beautiful and you wish you looked like that and oftentimes you're like, ugh. And you kind of feel this hidden deep down resentment almost towards them. But try being open with that and using that as fuel to compliment them and be happy for them and it will make their day. And it shows that you are secure within yourself.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Insecurity is not classy. Now, as for clothing, number one, I'm just going to come out and say it, modest. I never thought that I would be someone who wants to lean towards a more modest style. Obviously, I love wearing skirts and things like that, but on some days, I just love a modest outfit. You don't have to show skin and do whatever modest means to you.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And please do not forget to rate the podcast five stars and leave a review on this episode for the chance to be featured next week. But without further ado, I just want to dive right into it with you guys today. I'm going to break it down into a few categories like your attitude, your clothing, your self-care, slash how you take care of your body.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
All of our ideas of modest are very, very different, but all I'm saying is you don't have to show off your body for anybody.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
as long as you know that if you like what you like and you feel the most confident maybe showing some more skin do that do whatever you feel the most confident in what i'm saying is don't dress for other people is the main thing especially the male gaze we do not need that also avoiding trends i know i briefly touched on earlier but we go through so many trends you will see every single fashion trend come and go throughout our lifetime
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So just stick to what you like. If a trend comes out and you're like, I am not vibing with that. For example, skinny jeans are coming back. I don't think that's something I'm going to be hopping on. Even if every single person on this planet and their mom is wearing skinny jeans again. I probably won't because we might feel inclined to. Everyone else is doing it. All the cool kids are doing it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Maybe I should too. You don't have to. Do whatever you feel best in. This really ties into dressing for your body, dressing for your taste, and dressing for your comfortability and what you feel the most confident in yourself in. Do not dress for any other reason.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Find the things you absolutely love and flatter you and work on building a capsule wardrobe and being super in tune with what looks good on your body and what you feel comfortable in. Maybe a off the shoulder top doesn't look good on you, but a high scoop neck looks really good on you. I don't know.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
There are so many different fashion styles, but all this to say, assess what makes you feel the best and then build your wardrobe based off around the things you know that flatter you and make you feel confident. And I'd rather have 10 pieces in my closet that I really, really love than 100 things that are just kind of eh. And that comes with building a capsule wardrobe.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So really go through and try on things in your closet. If they don't spark joy and if they don't make you feel like you are that girl... There's no need to hang on to it. Also investing in timeless pieces. So trying to avoid fast fashion or again, the micro trends you're only going to wear once or for a few months. And I don't mean it has to be expensive.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You can thrift amazing quality pieces, but really make sure you're focusing on the quality instead of the quantity and also taking care of your clothes. If you're getting stains and holes all in your clothes, be grateful for your clothes. Again, gratitude ties into everything. But I feel when I have pieces in my closet that I truly value, I'm a lot more careful with them.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Also getting your clothes tailored maybe even or learning how to sew or adjust things just so that it's really flattering to you. I have one of my best friends.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
She said she got a compliment one time and they said your clothes fit you so well and it was one of the best compliments that she ever got because who one would ever think of that compliment but it's a great one and it just shows you know how to dress for your body. You know what looks good on you and it shows that you're Doing something right. A few little clothing, classy things I like.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So there's a few different things we're going to dive into. Number one, I want to start with your attitude. And I didn't realize for the longest time that I carry myself a certain way, but I guess it definitely depends on the setting and everything like that.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I love a matching set, whether it's pajamas, whether it's sweats, whether it's matching bra and underwear. That makes me feel so put together. And again, for no one else but myself. Do these little things if it makes you feel better or more classy, but don't do it because you want other people to think it looks good. On top of that, I love a good pair of jeans. Invest in a good pair of jeans.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I'd rather have one good pair of jeans than a million pairs of jeans that don't fit me quite right. Knowing which jewelry looks good on you as well, whether it's silver or gold. I've been a metal mixing girly lately. I love metal mixing and I think it's so chic. Also, having a cute little watch, you can definitely thrift one. Something to keep an eye out at the thrift. Also, again, less is more.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You don't need a trillion bracelets and necklaces if that's not your vibe. You don't need a billion piercings. I used to think I wanted a bunch of piercings and tattoos and then I realized... I don't think that's me. I think whatever's classiest is what feels the most you because it affects how you carry yourself. So be the most confident version of yourself.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So for some people, that might mean a million piercings. For me, that means just a couple. It's all up to you. Now, lastly, I'm going to dive into self-care, you guys. Self-care is so important because one of the biggest classiest qualities is when you take care of yourself. When you look at a girl and you can just tell she takes care of herself. It shows that you value yourself as a person.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You value the body that you were given and you want to be grateful for it and show love to it every single day. This can come in so many ways. Having a morning and night routine, washing your face, taking off your makeup, doing the regimens, the face masks, doing a maintenance routine is a huge one and maintenance routine is different for everybody.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
But I was at work the other day and I do customer service and the customer was like, you are winning the award for the most pleasant person I've ever met. Most pleasant person on the planet. And I was like... Pleasant? You know what? That is such a great adjective. Pleasant. I feel like we hear kind, customer service-y, peaceful, nice, whatever. But pleasant? I was like, okay, pleasant.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Maybe for some people it's laser hair removal, getting their brows waxed, getting their nails done. Maybe for you, it just means plucking your brows at home and giving your head a good scalp massage. It's totally different for everyone. Again, whatever makes you feel the best. For me, I love getting my nails done. I love a good French manicure.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
While we're on the topic of manicure, I used to always get the craziest designs, longest nails, and I thought that they were so cool and edgy, but i get a signature french manicure every single time it's my signature nail and i love it and i get them shorter than i used to and my nail lady sometimes laughs at me she's like same thing and i'm like yeah a french mani pedi gel never felt better
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I love when my nails are always done. It makes me feel so put together. Again, I'm not saying you have to go pay hundreds of dollars at the nail salon, but even if you cut your nails and push your cuticles back at home, put on your hand lotion, your scrubs, it's all about how it makes you feel and what your preference is.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
But just taking care of yourself, keeping everything up to par at the same time is really important. Having a signature scent is a huge one. Again, working with the lotions, with the perfumes, whatever makes you feel the best. Just having good hygiene in general. Shower, do the things, do the serums. Always having water is a huge one. Also, or a little cup of tea. I think that's very cute.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Enhancing the little things in your routine that really make you romanticize life, I find so enjoyable. And also, always getting ready.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
for so long in my life if i had a weekend or a day where i didn't have to do anything i would stay in bed until i had something come up that i had to get up for but now i've loved getting up washing my face getting ready no matter what i'm not saying you have to put on a full beat of makeup but i'm just saying wash your face do your skincare still because again we are not getting ready for anyone else we're getting ready for ourselves you don't have to put a whole
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
ball gown on but wear something that makes you feel cute makes you feel comfortable makes you feel fresh and new because we owe that to ourselves also a little thing that i forgot to mention but i think is so classy having a signature a cursive or a signature font i don't know practicing your signature your initials i just love that and also always having a pen and being prepared
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I don't know what it is about being prepared. Someone needs a pen, I got it. Someone needs lip gloss, I got it. A band-aid, I got it. I just think it's classy. Can't really explain why. But I'm going to wrap this episode up on that note, you guys. Again, if you want more episodes like this, don't forget to let me know with a comment or a podcast review.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
you add me on all my socials at brianna gomez with two b's on instagram tiktok and snapchat i'll be posting all the behind the scenes on my life on there also you guys can join the hot and unbothered girlies group chat where we all support each other talk about life all the inside scoop is on there follow the podcast at hot unbothered on tiktok and instagram thank you so much for being here i love you guys so so much and i will see you next free day bye
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And then I realized that being a pleasant person is such a flex. Because in a world where on social media and in real life, there is so much chaos and there is so much negative energy spiraling around us at all times, to be seen as pleasant I took that as such a compliment, especially in my workplace. So I'll break it down into the many ways that you can be more pleasant, classy, elegant.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
But number one thing I want to be clear of right off the jump is not seeking validation from others. So in this episode, I just want to make one thing clear, and it's that you should not be trying to be classy or a certain way for anyone else but yourself. I just need to emphasize this to you guys because I don't want you to think, oh, this girl is so classy and elegant. I want to be just like her.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
that all of that changes because there is truly a reason why you clicked on this episode today i'm going to teach you how to become elegant and classy from the inside out and to truly be magnetic so if you want to learn how to level up your life and unlock the hottest highest and healthiest version of yourself this is the podcast for you welcome to today's episode of hot and unbothered
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You can be inspired by the way that someone else carries themselves, but you don't want to try and replicate it for the sake of being like them. You want to replicate it because it makes you love yourself more. It makes you feel secure and confident in yourself.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
It makes you feel more at peace with who you are, but not because you want to mimic someone else's lifestyle or the way that they carry themselves.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
that being said a huge major key to being classy is doing things for you and not for anything else this can break down into so many different ways for example the way you dress right you don't want to start dressing a certain way because someone else does you don't want to start talking or acting a certain way because you want to be just like someone else you have to be your own person i feel like we get carried away with social media and everything at our fingertips it's so easy to see somebody maybe it's a character in a show a celebrity
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
an actress, a model, and you're like, I want to be just like her. And people, especially at a young age, you're more prone to copying a way that someone is. But do it for yourself. Take those traits or characteristics as inspiration, but don't copy them or do things because you want someone else's approval. Do it for yourself. And that will lead me into my next tip, which is confidence.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
If you have a strong sense of confidence, you don't have to worry about doing things for other people, seeking external validation, because you get that validation you need within yourself. self-concept comes into play, self-concept is essentially the belief that however you view yourself is how others will view you as well.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
For example, if you in your mind think that you are unworthy, that you are timid and shy and awkward, everyone else will pick up on that energy. When you walk into a room and you have your head down and you're all nervous, biting your nails, quiet, closed body language, right? I'm Everyone knows exactly how you view yourself and they're going to view you the exact same way.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
However, on the other hand, if you walk into a room and you are like, I am that girl, I am her, and I don't care what anyone else in this room thinks of me because I know who I am.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
don't be all insecure of your outfit you can say i like my outfit i think i look good enough i think i'm beautiful you don't walk in the room saying oh i hope everyone likes me you walk in the room and you're thinking oh i hope i like them it's definitely a perspective change but when you walk into that room with the open body language your chin up you're making eye contact with people eye contact is huge you are sending these signals of energy to people that they're like oh she is that girl
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
She is beautiful. She is confident. She is worthy because you believe it. And that's what self-concept is. I have an entire episode about self-concept and confidence because I can talk about it forever and ever. But confidence is key. And if you struggle with confidence, truly just fake it till you make it, okay?
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I want you to practice affirmations and telling yourself that you are worthy, that you are lovable, that you are beautiful, and it will become true to others the second that it becomes true for you. And while confidence is so crucial to being classy and chic and magnetic, let me emphasize that it's important to be confident and not arrogant. Confidence does not equal arrogance.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And in the same way, having a good sense of self-worth does not equal self-obsession. I'm saying love yourself. I'm saying be your own best friend, date yourself first, be there for yourself, but don't be obsessed with yourself. Don't be vain. Don't be boastful, right? You want to be humble. You want to come from a place of love, but at the same time, knowing that you are
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
are good enough and enough. Don't be boastful. Be humble, but at the same time, you're allowed to hold your head high. There's a fine line, but learning the difference is that you are allowed to love yourself. You are allowed to think highly of yourself, but do not become arrogant about it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
You can be proud of yourself without going around boasting and bragging to everybody about your accomplishments. You can think that you're beautiful without spending all day taking selfies and looking in the mirror. There is a fine line, but you are allowed to love yourself. Don't get that wrong. Overall, be confident, but don't be entitled.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Don't think that you are better than any other human on this earth. Have a kind heart and have compassion. That's another huge tip I have. Being considerate of others. Be considerate of other people's time, of other people's energy. Be considerate of their feelings, right?
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
If you have someone waiting for you at lunch and you're running really late or you keep bailing on them, be considerate of their time. If everyone in a group is gossiping about one friend and you're feeling really bad about it, be considerate of that friend. Stand up for them. Don't engage in the gossip. Being kind-hearted and compassionate is something that this world is lacking so deeply.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So be that change that the world needs. In a room of darkness, be the light. And I don't want you to think that you have to gossip or do anything because your friends are doing it also. It is so classy to be in a room of people who are gossiping or doing something wrong and to remove yourself from the situation. That shows so much poise.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Hello beautiful people and welcome back to my podcast. If you are new here, my name is Brianna Gomez or you can call me Bri and I am your host of Hot and Unbothered, the ultimate podcast for leveling up your life, identifying what your dream life looks like and showing up as the highest version of yourself every single day.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
That shows so much self-respect and respect for the other person. It shows such great character and morals. Everyone else will begin to assess their own character and be like, wait, Brie's not gossiping? Maybe I shouldn't do it either. It's also an incredibly quality to just be well-spoken, very articulate, thinking before you're speaking, right? Knowing what you're going to say before you say it.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
For example, when some people open their mouths and they say something and you're thinking, did they even think for a second about what they were going to say? Whatever that person just said was so ridiculous that you're sitting there like, did they even...
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
think how was that even something that just came out of their mouth and i don't want you to be that person in that situation so just really thinking and reflecting and being self-aware reading the room is so huge and i'm not saying hold back and bite your tongue when you have something important or urgent to say but i'm saying just be mindful of the fact that when something leaves our mouth there's no taking it back so especially again when it comes to gossip or things like that or maybe you're saying something that might hurt someone's feelings
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Don't lie to yourself, right? Stay true to yourself and what you believe in, but just be mindful of the fact that once you say it, you can't take it back. And on the topic of being well-spoken, just speaking with fluidity, having less filler words, that's something I need to work on as well. I say like and literally many, many times. And I also say, you know what I mean a lot.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I've been working on that for a long time. So trying to get that done. And also, stop saying things just to say it. I've been guilty of this nearly my whole life. When I'm bored or there's a silence in a conversation and it feels too awkward and I feel like I need to fill the silence, I would be like, I'm so tired or I'm so hungry or just say something weird and random.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I don't have to fill the silence. It is not my job and be comfortable in silence. Awkward is a mindset. Things are only awkward if you make it awkward. My friends and I used to say this in the beginning of high school. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. So don't be that person when you are in a social setting, you're like, oh my gosh, this is so awkward. awkward. I don't know what to say.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And today we have something that I'm honestly really excited to talk about. How to be classy, chic, elegant. It's a trend on TikTok right now. Things that I find incredibly chic, right? And I did my own take on it and I was like, everyone else is saying these material things. Matching sets, red lipstick, stiletto heels.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
It's quiet. We're not talking. Well, the other people should be trying to impress you. Stop trying to impress others. Let it be awkward. Let there be silence and only say what you mean. I also find that being curious is such a classy and intriguing quality to have. When you are so interested in the life around you, it's such an amazing quality. Having a natural and profound curiosity about life
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
is so beautiful and it's such a gift. So if you have something in the back of your mind that you are curious about, go pursue it. Whether that is religion, whether it's cooking, whether it's history, whether it's a certain language you want to learn, go chase whatever it is that you're curious about. When we're curious about things, it's not for no reason. Use this as a gift.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Go learn, go know things. How attractive and classy is it to know things? I love when I'm in a social setting, in a group or a conversation and something comes up and I have something to say about it, about working out or about nutrition, right? I went through a phase when I first started my wellness journey.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I was doing so much research on certain foods and nutrition and I'd be in a conversation like, oh yeah, well, sourdough toast is good for you because it's fermented. Or things about your circadian rhythm, your body's natural alarm clock. There's so much you can say about anything and there's so much to learn.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And we are in a position where all of this information and knowledge is at our fingertips. Yet so many of us don't take advantage of it. But I think it's such a beautiful thing and such a fun thing to work on. Also, this might seem random to some of you, but there is something about using the correct grammar, spelling correctly, all those little things.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
I think they're really great qualities to have because it just shows that you know what you're saying. Standing firm in your beliefs is also a huge one, and I don't mean being stubborn. There's a difference. Don't be stubborn. Don't be arrogant. Don't be conceited.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
However, if there's a belief that you have and you've done your research, you've heard both sides and you know that you stand firm in what you believe in, stand tall with that belief. But when there is someone, for example, who is your best friend maybe and they don't agree with you, don't change your belief just because someone else doesn't see your side.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Again, you don't have to get into a full-on debate about it. You don't have to quarrel over it. But when someone doesn't agree with you, you don't have to instantly switch to their side. And that's something that I feel like a lot of people are guilty of, especially when you're younger. I have a small example of when I was in third grade, a girl said that she liked Justin Bieber.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
So I was like, oh my gosh, I love Justin Bieber. But then another girl I wanted to be friends with did not like Justin Bieber. And I was like... I hate Justin Bieber. Now I have zero opinion about any of that. But what I'm saying is you can't just waver in your own thoughts, right? Be firm with what you believe in. Don't be naive or uncertain.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
If you're going to say something, say it with your chest, girl. Of course, if you're wrong, admit that you're wrong as well. Don't be stubborn. But if you have a belief and it's up for debate, don't switch over to the other side if you truly believe what you believe in. And that ties into what I first said about not seeking external validation, not needing approval from others.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
And yes, those things might be chic, but there are so many ways that you may not realize that you can be chic, classy, and elegant just in the way that you carry yourself or the way that you handle your day-to-day life. Before we dive into today's episode, I just want to share a quick podcast review. Today we have one from Lily. She said,
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Stand firm within yourself. Being extremely in tune with yourself. This could mean in tune with your body, in tune with your thoughts. This comes from practicing solitude, which is huge. Solitude is truly being alone with yourself in silence. And this is so, so important. This could be in prayer. This could be in meditation. This could be in a moment of journaling.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Maybe you're going on a walk in nature, listening to nothing else, just being alone with your thoughts and really reflecting and speaking to yourself. We need time to check in with ourselves. and to practice solitude.
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
When you do this, you become so much more in tune with your intuition and you become so self-aware with who you are, who you want to be, what you want in life, what's going on currently. And there is something so attractive and so classy and so feminine about being in tune with your intuition and with your thoughts. I'm going to dive into more activity-focused things
Hot and Unbothered
how to embody CLASS & CONFIDENCE: High-Value Woman Habits, Tips, and Mindset to become MAGNETIC
Number one is just not being easily available to people. And by this, you want to be booked and busy. Obviously, keep time for yourself, but not being readily available at the snap of a finger, right? Because if someone, maybe it's a boy you're talking to, He wants to take you out and he's just randomly an hour before. Oh, like, are you busy right now? I want to take you out tonight.