Brittany

She's saying how much she loves our resort. And I'm just like, we got to go, lady. I get her down the hallway, out to her car. As we're walking, she's detailing her plans to go to the next hotel down the street and check in. And I'm like, oh, God. So I get her in her car.

I'm immediately calling the other hotel owner because, you know, we're a small town and being like, hey, this is coming your way. Absolutely do not let this lady check in. Before I can even get off the phone, I'm beeping through with another call from our housekeeping manager, and she's like, you need to get back up here right away.

I'm immediately calling the other hotel owner because, you know, we're a small town and being like, hey, this is coming your way. Absolutely do not let this lady check in. Before I can even get off the phone, I'm beeping through with another call from our housekeeping manager, and she's like, you need to get back up here right away.

I'm immediately calling the other hotel owner because, you know, we're a small town and being like, hey, this is coming your way. Absolutely do not let this lady check in. Before I can even get off the phone, I'm beeping through with another call from our housekeeping manager, and she's like, you need to get back up here right away.

I'm like, did this lady sneak back in the other side? Like, what am I getting back into? So I hustle back up there, and I get in there, and there's a team of housekeepers in there. They had come in. It's already past checkout. They're trying to get in there and clean the room. We've got a full hotel to flip over, and they are just shocked. I'm like, what's going on?

I'm like, did this lady sneak back in the other side? Like, what am I getting back into? So I hustle back up there, and I get in there, and there's a team of housekeepers in there. They had come in. It's already past checkout. They're trying to get in there and clean the room. We've got a full hotel to flip over, and they are just shocked. I'm like, what's going on?

I'm like, did this lady sneak back in the other side? Like, what am I getting back into? So I hustle back up there, and I get in there, and there's a team of housekeepers in there. They had come in. It's already past checkout. They're trying to get in there and clean the room. We've got a full hotel to flip over, and they are just shocked. I'm like, what's going on?

They pull back the sheets, and... poop stains all over the sheets. Oh, my. That same bed Mr. Trombone Player was just laying in. We don't have cameras in the room, so we'll never know what really happened.

They pull back the sheets, and... poop stains all over the sheets. Oh, my. That same bed Mr. Trombone Player was just laying in. We don't have cameras in the room, so we'll never know what really happened.

They pull back the sheets, and... poop stains all over the sheets. Oh, my. That same bed Mr. Trombone Player was just laying in. We don't have cameras in the room, so we'll never know what really happened.

Oh, baby. And I don't know if I was so freaked out by the situation of the theft originally that I didn't smell it, didn't notice it, like the balcony door was open. But I looked down and there's one of the little maps we give out of our island that gives like tourist spots and restaurant recommendations. Somebody moves that with a gloved hand, pile of poop juice. Oh, my God.

Oh, baby. And I don't know if I was so freaked out by the situation of the theft originally that I didn't smell it, didn't notice it, like the balcony door was open. But I looked down and there's one of the little maps we give out of our island that gives like tourist spots and restaurant recommendations. Somebody moves that with a gloved hand, pile of poop juice. Oh, my God.

Oh, baby. And I don't know if I was so freaked out by the situation of the theft originally that I didn't smell it, didn't notice it, like the balcony door was open. But I looked down and there's one of the little maps we give out of our island that gives like tourist spots and restaurant recommendations. Somebody moves that with a gloved hand, pile of poop juice. Oh, my God.

We look in the bathroom. What? Poop, washcloths, poop, everything. But we deducted that they must have gotten absolutely hammered the night before, gone on a drunken rage of ransacking the hotel, and then probably celebrated with a big round of butt sex right before they left.

We look in the bathroom. What? Poop, washcloths, poop, everything. But we deducted that they must have gotten absolutely hammered the night before, gone on a drunken rage of ransacking the hotel, and then probably celebrated with a big round of butt sex right before they left.

We look in the bathroom. What? Poop, washcloths, poop, everything. But we deducted that they must have gotten absolutely hammered the night before, gone on a drunken rage of ransacking the hotel, and then probably celebrated with a big round of butt sex right before they left.

Poop everywhere. Wow. That's the whole story. I mean, it ended in a good note. We have a great team. They cleaned the room. We have professional carpet cleaner machines. Like, we took care of it. All the guests were happy just to get their stuff back. So it was a happy ending. Oh, my God.

Poop everywhere. Wow. That's the whole story. I mean, it ended in a good note. We have a great team. They cleaned the room. We have professional carpet cleaner machines. Like, we took care of it. All the guests were happy just to get their stuff back. So it was a happy ending. Oh, my God.

Poop everywhere. Wow. That's the whole story. I mean, it ended in a good note. We have a great team. They cleaned the room. We have professional carpet cleaner machines. Like, we took care of it. All the guests were happy just to get their stuff back. So it was a happy ending. Oh, my God.

It was nuts. It's been six, seven years since his story, and we still call the trombone guy Roto-Rooter.