Bryan Callen

Tonight, two shows tomorrow, two shows Saturday. Take your pick. I roll out the red carpet. You come to the green room. We laugh. We hug.

You get free water. You get to laugh hard for at least an hour and seven minutes.

You get free water. You get to laugh hard for at least an hour and seven minutes.

It's the most unique

It's the most unique

I can break a horse, brother. Oh, Daniel. That's sexy. Did you see that?

I can break a horse, brother. Oh, Daniel. That's sexy. Did you see that?

Yes, dude. Dude. What was it? 15 years ago. Yes. It was a horse show. Maybe more. Maybe more. Yeah, maybe more. What were you guys doing there? I had my kids. My daughter wanted to. She was a horse. It's a sick show. The amount of money I spent on horses for my kid, my ex and my daughter who would ride horses, my accountant calls me and he goes, how's the album going? I go, what?

Yes, dude. Dude. What was it? 15 years ago. Yes. It was a horse show. Maybe more. Maybe more. Yeah, maybe more. What were you guys doing there? I had my kids. My daughter wanted to. She was a horse. It's a sick show. The amount of money I spent on horses for my kid, my ex and my daughter who would ride horses, my accountant calls me and he goes, how's the album going? I go, what?

He goes, how's the album? What's it like to play for all those people? I go, it's Brian Callen. I mean, I play for people and not that many. He goes, you're not a rock star? I go... No, he goes, well, then stop spending like these horses. You're going to be broke. That's a good accountant. That's good. That's a good accountant. You know what he said to me?

He goes, how's the album? What's it like to play for all those people? I go, it's Brian Callen. I mean, I play for people and not that many. He goes, you're not a rock star? I go... No, he goes, well, then stop spending like these horses. You're going to be broke. That's a good accountant. That's good. That's a good accountant. You know what he said to me?

He goes, what kind of car do you want to drive? I said, what do you mean? He goes, for what you pay for these horses, what do you want? I go, what can I drive? He goes, pick anything. Pick any car you could drive that car right now. Wow.

He goes, what kind of car do you want to drive? I said, what do you mean? He goes, for what you pay for these horses, what do you want? I go, what can I drive? He goes, pick anything. Pick any car you could drive that car right now. Wow.

Yes. You did.

Yes. You did.

What? What are we talking about? No steroids. No steroids. Bro.

What? What are we talking about? No steroids. No steroids. Bro.

That's some Assyrian genetics, bro. Say something. That's from generations of persecution. We're warriors.

That's some Assyrian genetics, bro. Say something. That's from generations of persecution. We're warriors.

Right there. Hey, Patrick, you're a big boy. That's no joke.