Bryan Greene

I remember these ads running during the OJ trial.

And now your host of the Psychic Friends Network, five-time Grammy Award winner, Miss Dionne Warwick.

Thank you very much.

Imagine being alive in a time when OJ was on trial for murder and Dionne Warwick was pitching you $3.99 per minute phone calls for fake psychic services.

That's just what friends are for.

Warwick promised that her friends could help you with love, money, and career advice, a time-honored tradition with the psychic group.

By giving you nebulous and broad answers to life's most pressing questions, it would make you feel better temporarily, keeping you on the phone for an additional $3.99 a minute.

But the broad answers usually served a second purpose, in that you could never figure out if they were right or if they were wrong.

Valentine's Day.

Bummer."

At its peak, the Psychic Friends Network was pulling in over a million calls a month.

And again, at $3.99 a minute, that's a lot of money to find out who your soulmate might be.

And on these extremely expensive calls, it's not like the stranger on the other end of the phone was going to tell you John Jones from marketing is likely to be your husband.

No, no, they were probably just good talkers, would run you around in circles and then give you an answer like, I think they'll be tall.

And while we're on the subject, a little piece of advice.

Don't sleep on the short kings.

I'm with you, short kings.

Listen, I'm six foot two, but I'm with you.

I'm with you.

But generation after generation, decade after decade, year after year, our ancestors continued to seek out psychic medium help.