Caitlin V

not because it necessarily felt amazing, but it was more like the creativity that went into that.

I was more like, oh yeah, of course you could use that part as a bit.

It didn't occur to me that that could be anything other than a handle, but of course it can, right?

And this is just a matter of using a tool creatively.

We could think about if you're a great chef, you know how to use,

spices creatively you know how to use like waffles creatively whatever you know like you you have more access to creativity because you've seen more stuff you've watched a library of things and people having ideas and i think that's really really beneficial because people really get stuck on what sex needs to look like and then you know once that creativity is gone they get really tunnel vision on anything that's wrong anything that's getting in the way of what they think it ought to look like and often that can come with a lot of self-blame

Instead of reflection and exploration, like what is it that maybe I need to shift or do differently in order to have a pleasurable experience?

It's like, damn it, why doesn't my body work to do the thing that I think it should be doing?

On the other hand, there are some other risks associated with overusing porn.

For adults, externalizing our turn on and putting all of like what gets us going outside of us.

So we lose connection to our own like internal wellspring of eroticism.

And eroticism is like a life force within us, right?

Like it is literally life force itself in that it's how people come into the world, right?

It's like through sex and sexuality.

So when you reach a point where your entire relationship to your own sexuality exists outside of your body, it's going to be really hard for you to control your ejaculation, to get hard when you want to, to feel like you can connect to another person.

Then, especially for younger men in particular who grew up watching porn and having access to porn on the internet, they are experiencing erectile dysfunction at higher rates than previous generations.

And it's because a real person in front of you, A, cannot compete with the internet.

Right.

This is a true story where you're seeing, you know, you could you could be watching 20 or 30 people have sex in one evening.

You could select the exact kind of woman and experience and position that you're looking for and only serve that to yourself or be 15 at the same time.